Jump to content
Create New...

Counting Swats


Recommended Posts

I'm sure this topic has been brought up before but it's been quite some time.

If you're a spanker, do you assign a certain number of swats per defense? Do you assign a certain number for moving? Do you have whoever you're spanking count out the last 10 or 20?

Why or why not?

I don't receive a specific number for anything. We did try things that way a few years ago and I found myself focusing more on how many swats I had left, than concentrating on the reason I was being punished in the first place.

  • Like 2
Link to comment

Counting swats is a little different for each spankee, some like it and some don't. Sometimes after a hand spanking I use a paddle, hairbrush or whatever, I swat each cheek once and for corner time they consider what 20, 30 or whatever you agree on will feel like and if it will be worth whatever rule they break again will feel like. It's a good way to make them stop and think before leaping so to speak.

Link to comment

ONE...

TWO...

THREE.. you aren't listening.....lol

For me personally, as a mentor, I rarely give a specific number of swats for an infraction. My experience, as Poison noted above, is that the mentee starts concentrating on the number of swats left and can use this to help them actually get through a spanking because they know that they just have to hang on until the number assigned is reached and it is done. A finite length of time has been defined in which the number of swats will occur.

A great part of what makes a spanking effective is in NOT knowing when it will end. If a mentee has broken a rule, there is uneasy anticipation and knowledge that the spanking will end when the mentor has determined that the point has been made and is understood, and that they have NO control in when that happens (this obviously precludes the use of a safe word if one has been established).

I also do not use a specific number of swats because although i may very well understand the pain tolerance of my mentee, each circumstance is different. What is their mindset in relation to what they have done? Is there something going on that would make their pain tolerance lower/higher that particular day? It's not always possible to determine what their bottom will look like after a set number of swats....Yes, I could adjust the intensity and/or speed of the swats, but in general prefer to use my judgment as the spanking takes place. As far as a certain number of swats for moving, I just use the least amount necessary to keep movement to the minimum the mentee is capable of. After all, a spanking HURTS and expecting no movement isn't realistic for most.

One circumstance in which I sometimes use a certain number of swats is if I can tell a mentee is very close to their upper limit of what they can tolerate yet a little more is needed to drive the point home. In that case, I may say "ok 15 more", for example, which will bridge that gap so the mentee can hang in there just a little longer until the spanking ends.

Just my personal preference ... I know there are many who use counting, even aloud, as part of the spanking and that it can be an effective approach as well.

  • Like 15
Link to comment

I did it one time, just for variety. If I am spanking for discipline, why would I want the spankee to know when the spanking is going to be over? I decide when it's over, based upon her reactions, the condition of her bottom, and the nature of the offense. Because a lot of what we do is psychological, not knowing when the spanking is going to end is a more effective method of discipline than being able to count down the swats.

  • Like 2
Link to comment

I don't think it works very well with me. I'd decide "Ok, well I just did X, it's not gonna be that bad.. I just have to bare through x swats",. I think that is mostly a coping tool for me. For me, not knowing which implement is going to be used, not knowing how long the spanking is going to take place.. etc makes me feel like I have slightly less control (which is needed for me).

  • Like 4
Link to comment

I think Ready summarized the argument for not using a set number perfectly, as we all vary in our emotional and physical tolerance from time to time. Some days, you can be at it 'til the cows come home and go nowhere as they have built up so much of an emotional or mental boundary. Other days, you may not even lay a finger upon them, a disappointed look or a few well-chosen words being more than sufficient.

When I ask the person I am with to count, I rarely have or say the final total. In the midst of a sound spanking, especially near the end, it may be just the information you need to know you are making your point or it is time to stop. Though body language is most important, hearing their voice, you can get insight into their mental state.

If you know the person well, there is a chasm of difference between verbalization of "I am throwing everything but the kitchen sink at you to try and get this to stop" and "I get it."

~red~

  • Like 2
Link to comment

I think Ready summarized the argument for not using a set number perfectly, as we all vary in our emotional and physical tolerance from time to time. Some days, you can be at it 'til the cows come home and go nowhere as they have built up so much of an emotional or mental boundary. Other days, you may not even lay a finger upon them, a disappointed look or a few well-chosen words being more than sufficient.

When I ask the person I am with to count, I rarely have or say the final total. In the midst of a sound spanking, especially near the end, it may be just the information you need to know you are making your point or it is time to stop. Though body language is most important, hearing their voice, you can get insight into their mental state.

If you know the person well, there is a chasm of difference between verbalization of "I am throwing everything but the kitchen sink at you to try and get this to stop" and "I get it."

~red~

What is the difference between the verbalization of those two things? I have a hard time understanding that. When the verbalization indicates physical suffering, how does that mean that they are not verbalizing their suffering, but are instead, somehow verbalizing an understanding of something you believe they did not understand and now "get."

For me it's a corollary of the whole "teaching a lesson" thing. I mean, you are teaching someone that they will endure pain if they repeat the behavior, but it's not as if they didn't know that the behavior was deemed unacceptable and somehow agree with that proposition once they've endured enough physical pain.

It's not so much a question directed at you, but a philosophical question about spanking in general.

Link to comment

With me it usually works out better not to know partially cos the only thing I'm focused on is the spanking I've earned and also because my Caregiver or a 'ageplay' parent judges on the basis of how I'm reacting to it if need more or if they feel I've taken as much as safely I can gauging by how my skin looks.

As there's a safeword in operation there's no chance of them going over what I feel I uncomfortable with.

Link to comment

Certain issues may designate a certain number of swats on occasion, depending on the issue. I may have a certain number to address a particular issue, such as inappropriate language would designate 1 swat per letter per word for example. However, any verbal counting can be a distraction to the business at hand.

Link to comment

I am not necessarily fond of counting swats because it seems to distract from the reason for the spanking, however for punishment spanking that is intense, I find it useful to the spankee when I am topping, and also for me as a spankee, to be able to get through a challenging series of swats, by allowing them or me to see when the end is in sight to the noxious pain currently being endured. For serious behavior modification spanking, I think that if the spankee doesn't feel any need to know how many swats are left, the mentor may not be spanking hard enough to to deter the problem behavior.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
We're not fans of assigned numbers. What do you do if you've assigned 100 spanks... and 50 in you realize that's enough? Or, what if after 100 you realize that isn't enough?


Also, if there is a number... the spankee is going to focus almost strictly on that number. What they're being spanked for... pfffft... not part of the equation.


So not a fan. Though ending a spanking with a small number... okay, you're getting 10 more... that can work. But basing the entire spanking on a given number... unless it is a birthday spanking... nah, not something we do.

  • Like 1
Link to comment

i agree that counting is not for me. it takes away attention and also it means you can focus on the end of the spanking...ie "i can get through this...only another 6 to go"...much rather not knowing. it makes the spanking seem endless.

Link to comment

I don't recall my mentor ever making me count. On one occasion there was a specific number of swats related to a specific offense. But other than that, the only time there is a number is if I'm having a hard time taking the last few but need them so he might tell me how many more, like Ready explained.

Link to comment

I think counting would be counter-productive for the reasons already articulated, although my top will sometimes say something like "five more" when she knows I am getting close to my limits -- and then those five are usually pretty intense. However, I do "like it" (for lack of a better descriptor) when she makes me talk to her during a spanking, answer questions, etc. Making me talk to her helps keep me from dissociating and helps me get closer to my my emotions. To me, spanking is more than just a physical act, it is a form of very intense communication -- and getting closer to my emotions is something that I crave. While I can see how making someone count might be an additional way of exercising control, to me it would just be another way to dissociate from the experience (and it would probably just annoy me).

  • Like 3
Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

Counting or otherwise measured punishments work in some instances. As a possible reminder of why youvare being spanked (for example....10 swats for every grade lower than an a)...but sometimes they can be a hindrance...like when the goal is to spank until the bottom is red and the legs are fluttering and the promises to behave have the right amount of sincerity. Long story short I view this as something that requires the spanker to have many techniques and apply the ones that best lead to the result ☺

Link to comment
  • 4 months later...

If I'm being spanked, I absolutely have to know the number of swats ahead of time, or at least a cap (that I'll assume is how many I'll get). Full stop, I wouldn't sign a contract without reading it, and I wouldn't agree to a spanking if I didn't know what it would involve. Especially since some folks on here just don't understand what's appropriate for different implements...I had someone want to give me 900 swats with a paddle, which would have sent me to the hospital at least. 

It might be different for lighter spankings, hand spankings, etc, if you trust the person. Otherwise, I don't think it's responsible to agree to something without knowing a limit. An alternative to number of swats might be stopping at bruising, but that's subjective too. 

 

As a spanker, I'm more flexible...but it will generally depend on what the other person wants. I prefer to lay everything out ahead of time. Either way, I think it's a good idea to have an objective target in mind when starting. When you get caught up into a spanking, giving or receiving, it's hard to think logically. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
The last thing I want to do is count. If it gets too bad, I need to be able to take my brain out of the situation so I can endure it. If I have to count, I can't check out.


Yes, this! I hate counting - I have to pay attention, I have to speak up, participating in the whole spanking process. This turns the spanking from a little fun/little serious into a punishment. [emoji30]

Sent from my SM-G920V using Tapatalk

Link to comment

I know that assigning a certain number of spanks/lashes works because I have talked to many disciplinarians who assign numbers of spanks/lashes.

I will share a secret here:

When I want to help a spankee (In my case, a young lady) break down into bawling, I will have her count spanks from the outset. And I will very sternly command her to count louder. If I cant hear her count, she gets the spank over again until she sounds off. :)

Her loud vocalization of counting helps her to break down much more quickly. :angry:

 

 

 

Link to comment

I will share a secret here:
When I want to help a spankee (In my case, a young lady) break down into bawling, I will have her count spanks from the outset. And I will very sternly command her to count louder. If I cant hear her count, she gets the spank over again until she sounds off. [emoji4]
Her loud vocalization of counting helps her to break down much more quickly. :angry:
 
 
 

I hate this just reading it.

Kidding! But not really. ;)
~Tina

Sent from my SM-G920V using Tapatalk

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...

I don't like using counting, the focus should be the spanking itself and not the number of swats imho. It makes it so much more effective to me if you don't know when it's gonna end. Setting like "20 swats for x infraction" just sets a price to commit it instead of a punishment. 

 

For example, let's say you really want to buy something that is over your budget and overspending is a spankable offence. What would stop you more, knowing it's "x swats" or thinking if it's gonna be a spanking with an implement or how many spanks or is it bare? A little unpredictability is good, then you know it's a punishment and not just "10 swats with the paddle and I got a new CD!" 

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...
Search In
  • More options...
Find results that contain...
Find results in...

Write what you are looking for and press enter or click the search icon to begin your search