Jump to content
Spanking Needs Forums

Emerging/Young Adult Spanking


Recommended Posts

Hey all,

Does it seem like there are more people in their twenties seeking out spankings than before? If so, why do you think this is?

Millennials do approve of spanking more so than any other age group but that pertains to the spanking of children. See the link below:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/wonkblog/wp/2015/03/05/millennials-like-to-spank-their-kids-just-as-much-as-their-parents-did/

I ask because a lot of emerging/young adults in my generation are delaying adulthood. There are many reasons for this but bottom line a lot are depending more and more on their parents well past undergrad and into grad school. They're delaying marriage/children and not buying a house anytime soon due to things like student loan debt. In some sense we're still holding to aspects of our teen/18-22 years.

Could an increased interest in spanking as a punishment be linked to not feeling capable of growing up into adult responsibilities? Where as spanking helps you become more responsible.

Since spanking seems to be effective for all of us here, should it be encouraged for this age group? (Keeping in mind we are all different. Some 18 year olds have families, careers, and are responsible. I'm not advocating everyone gets spanked, just curious to see what others think.)

I'm 26 and I'm guilty of all of the above. I'm still in school full-time and still feel like a kid. I try to be responsible but sometimes I fail and I don't want my lack of productivity and sometimes inappropriate/irresponsible behavior to risk my career. Personally, I like the aspect of immediate consequences and accountability. A spanking can be very humbling and help deal with guilty feelings. At the same time, spankings have traditionally been given to children/teens. This is part of the increased embarrassment/humbling with being spanked as an adult.

I guess I'm just trying to figure this whole thing out.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Guest jamieuk74

I'm in my forties and grew up at a time when being spanked, slippered or caned or at least threatened with those punishments was fairly common. It was a simpler time when you knew what the consequences for bad behaviour were likely to be.

As an adult one learns that the consequences for screwing up become a lot worse. Being fired, ill health etc. I made a very bad choice when I was 18 and have been dealing with it ever since. I thought I was an adult back then but obviously wasn't. If someone had given me the option I would have gladly been caned for what I did and then given a second chance. However as adult I've had to learn to live and grow with my mistakes.

Link to post

I don't think it is as simple as we are an adult or child but that we actually retain both aspects of ourselves as psychological components throughout our life. The inner child is more emotional in nature than the rational adult and the child aspect comes into play when we are dealing with emotional issues and emotionally related behavior problems that do not conform to our rational rules for what we see as proper adult behavior. It is true that millennials stay at home longer during school and after and such so that they are still under their parents roof but I think as much as this causing them to see themselves more like a dependent child that could be reasonably be subject to spanking, I think all these factors of living at home, high school cost, and bleak employment opportunities put enormous stress on millennials and under enough stress for long enough we tend to regress to a more child like state to a time when things were simpler and we were taken care of like children and spanked if neccessary. I think the burgeoning emotional need for spanking among millennials and many adults could be in part a defense reaction of psychological regression caused by recent difficult social and economic environmental stress factors not to mention being constantly bombarded with all kinds of spanking buzz from internet sources.

  • Like 1
Link to post

In some respects for that generation it is confusing, some parents do effectively treat them as more of a dependent child, arranging (some may put it as 'interferring' in those matters the young person is expected to deal with directly at college or university with support maybe to the constination of staff at such establishments whereas when you may of moved out even as a student, you would do more yourself cos there was nobody else to.

I harbour a feeling some younger adults do appreciate straighforward rules and understandings,knowing more exactly where they stand and some of the longing for more discipline in the wider sense of the word comes from that.

Link to post

I was never spanked when I was a child, I was hit though. Silly things to big things alike. Talking back, saying no, and then spilling a glass of water on the couch, yeah my step-dad wasn't a very good man. Anyway, I learned to be scared of discipline and around age 13 I began to crave it. I wanted forgiveness which was something my step-dad never gave me. I wanted love and he was beginning to pull back on the love when I entered high school and with each grade level he got more and more distant and was less and less inclined to even say I love you to me. I begged him for that love, repeating myself over and over again, saying "I love you." he'd either ignore it or tell me that he shows it all the time, throw a few curse words were you so please. I wanted accountability for my actions, but no one was around to do that.

None saw my actions as terrible outside my home. I was a good kid. Excellent grades, played sports, volunteered, went to youth group, and went to church. At home though my mom and I got into arguments 2 to 3 times per week. Anytime they would try and punish me I'd tell them they weren't going to take my cell phone or anything else because I knew they weren't going to do anything. Around 13 was also when my step-dad stopped hitting me as much, but he replaced it with more name calling. I think he noticed it affected me more and that if he hit me he knew I'd stand up for myself by then.

I'm 24 now, but like I said since 13 I've known I needed this I just didn't know what to call it. It was a very frustrating time for me and now I have a ton of habits that I've built up over the years because I didn't have that discipline. Now I have my mentor now and for me it's so different because I know if he says he's going to cut back internet time it's going to happen and if I disobey that I'll be spanked for it. The knowledge of knowing that I have real consequences is huge. Honestly, I'd rather take a spanking for not working on an assignment and then learning how to effectively space my time rather than getting a bad grade on a test or even failing a class now in college. Yeah, the spanking hurts like heck, but in the end there is always forgiveness, always hugs, and always care. I've only been doing this for a little over a month and it's already completely changed my life. I'm more in charge of myself and it's so great. I'm still learning, but this what I need. I've always been ok with spanking a child if they have done something to warrant it, but it won't be the end all be all thing I'd use to correct my future kids. Like you said some of us need spankings while others don't. It really depends on the personality of the person and what works for them. This motivates me to be better and since that's the case I think there are a lot of us young adults who benefit from the spankings we receive because they are teaching us lessons without the extreme worldly punishments that are often involved in our actions.

Link to post

I actually think it has less to do with upbringing than it does with the rise of the internet and all the technology that we have nowadays (which everyone uses, but I think younger people/people in their 20s probably use technology more or are more technology dependent). It's probably much easier nowadays to find other people who are also into spanking. Plus, it's easier for young people to go on google, look up spanking, and find out that there are other people with the same interests.

I'm 19 and even though I'm still pretty dependent on my parents, I've been interested in spanking for a long time now (since I was in elementary school/junior high) and I know that looking up spanking-related things on google when I was younger definitely contributed to increasing my interest (instead of trying to ignore it or push it aside as being weird/abnormal, which I might have done if it weren't for google).

Link to post

Thank you all so much for your comments. It has definitely brought new perspectives that I hadn't thought about. It maybe that this need is due to the pressures of growing up. I also agree that I would rather be spanked for bad grades before I end up failing the class. I can relate to knowing from a young age that I needed these boundaries.

Looking up spanking-related things definitely increased my interest. The internet really has had a great effect upon society. Especially, bringing together people who aren't what mainstream society presents. For example, I can come on here and talk about getting spanked and everyone would not think that's weird. If I did that at work…there would be a different reaction even if some people agreed my behavior warranted one.

Plus "normal" is relative anyway. Spanking as a punishment is normal in this community. Done right, the spankee is clear on what they are being spanked for and afterwards it is emphasized that they've been punished and should forgive themselves, are cared for, and that it is hoped through future behavior, this won't have to happen again.

Link to post

I feel obligated to tell all of you, I've actually never been spanked in person yet, but I will be soon. I self-spank, you may wonder how we hug then, it's virtual hugs but promises for the real thing once we meet soon. The aftercare is a bit difficult to do, but I've learned to appreciate his words of affirmation when things are said and done. It's not the preferred way of doing things, but it's all we can manage right now since there are no spanker's in my area. I'm just grateful he's taken me on or I'm pretty sure I would have lost myself to a whole different side of spanking that I never wanted to actually go and do.

The internet for me is good and bad. It started off with me just googling the word spanking when I was 13. As time progressed I began to think I only liked spanking in a sexual manner, but up until recently I didn't realize that I actually hate spankings, but I crave the discipline involved with it. So far, the discipline associated with this has changed my behaviors. Not just spanking is used by my mentor and I never realized how childish things like standing in the corner or writing lines could affect me, but they do.

When it started I was just trying to avoid the spankings and punishments, now though I'm more concerned about disappointing my mentor than the spanking itself. Out of the two you would expect the spanking to hurt worse, but it doesn't now. It hurts worse to know I failed at following and obeying rules. It hurts even worse knowing I've let my mentor down who holds to bigger standards that I ever thought I could have. He refuses to let me fall and stay there instead he pulls me back up, pushes me forward (a few swats along the way ;)), and expects me to try harder because he knows that I can do better than the behavior I'm displaying. He doesn't let my guilt swallow me up and turn me inward into beating myself up, instead he takes care of the guilt with forgiveness, hearing that he forgives me it's like I have permission to then forgive myself.

Link to post

Getting guilt out of the frame can help as does the tendency to toward negative self images. The thing that matters is dealing with the things we do that cause us to let ourselves down and cause problems to those we interact with like partners, friends and work colleagues.

  • Like 1
Link to post

Getting guilt out of the frame can help as does the tendency to toward negative self images. The thing that matters is dealing with the things we do that cause us to let ourselves down and cause problems to those we interact with like partners, friends and work colleagues.

So true JoKitteen :). I have problems with self-confidence, but since I've started this I've begun growing out of that. It helps me a lot with life in genera really. It just takes that stress off my shoulders and gives me a space to think.

Link to post

Honestly, being so young myself, I do see a lot of comments online from the young population being INCREDIBLY tolerant of beating/hitting kids (Not even spanking at all).

Honestly though, and I could be wrong, I have to feel like this is just the young seeing it as the simplest solution to shutting a kid up. Granted the question isn't phrased like that. I'd be interested in how this changes when we get older. When push comes to shove I think the answer will be more complex, or divided.

Link to post

I think that if a young adult (or even a mature adolescent) feels like it would be helpful to them, then spankings should be on the table. I'm afraid I can't get behind (no pun intended) spankings for young children, except perhaps if they're determined to run out into the street or something similarly dangerous.

I wish to God that I had been able to ask for spankings from my guardians (not always my parents) when I was in my teens and early 20's. It would have helped so much.

  • Like 1
Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...