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Aftercare questions

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Hi Everyone

So I once again have a question for everyone. This is a multi-faceted question, because I know everyone has differing levels of relationships. I realize that in a romantic involvement relationship (long term, marriage, engaged, dating, etc...) that sex is often an aftercare principle, this isn't what I am talking about. So please answer something other than "sex" ;)

I know that the different forms of aftercare for the mentee generally involve possibly lotion, emotional support etc. But from everything I gather, a session can be emotionally and physically draining on both parties.

So my question is this:

Mentors: Do you perform aftercare? What do you usually do? Is there any type of aftercare you desire?

Mentees: What is your desired form of aftercare? Do you ever give "aftercare" to your Dom? What do you do?

I look forward to responses.

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I'm a Top. I provide aftercare depending on the bottom's needs. Usually, I hold her until she's "back". Sometimes I provide a blanket. Water or another drink is almost always given.

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When my wife paddles me its bare butt and it hurts---but I admit I have earned it in spades--the paddling is naked right out of the shower and it sure hurts----Once its over things are real good between us---No---its not about sex at all---It a way to make things right between us the paddling is for real Since only my wife and I know there is no shaming or any embarrassment---When its over she is always willing to put cooling lotion on my very sore butt----Oddly enough--after a paddling I want to sleep and do sleep soundly I otherwise never nap I do not know what a bare paddling has to do with a sound nap but its what I do

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As a mentee I crave physical closeness after a spanking. I often get lots of rubs and lotion. Then once that is taken care of I get cuddled up under soft and warm blankets. It is really just amazing.

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Very similar response here, I love to hug and cuddle making the ee feel secure and cared for, A drink is a good idea also. There are times where the session can be draining and a short nap sometimes occurs and also general conversation. I like to be sure the person is totally relaxed by the end

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In my experience, which admittedly isn't that vast, the women I've spanked have mostly just needed to be held and comforted. It's like having to decompress and recover emotionally, sometimes with tears, sometimes not.

Some people seem to like soothing gels and creams applied like Arnica, but that's not certainly not everybody. One lady that I spanked really wanted her bottom massaged for a really long time afterwards. The core of it seems to be about catharsis and the emotional comfort and intimacy of physical closeness.

As a top, I don't think that I need aftercare per se but I do enjoy the sense of presence and just being together emotionally that happens in those moments.

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Holding, hugging, comforting, a good massage with lotion, soft reassuring words, some time under warm covers...my 'ees get any or all of those depending on the circumstances. Several will fall asleep for short periods during the process.

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  • 2 months later...

My first mentoring situation was in person, and my mentor used to hold me for a while until I stopped shaking. That was wonderful, and I miss it! Now that I'm in an online situation, my mentor just "talks me down," listens to me, addresses any thoughts or emotions I might bring up, and then gets me talking about everyday things so I can transition back to my regular life. Not as good as a cuddle, but it's kind and helpful and it gets the job done.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I’m usually held in a gentle embrace afterwards. For me, I'm not interested in sex after being disciplined for behavior that I’m likely ashamed of. The cuddling and the whispered consolations let me feel that I’m forgiven. I like to feel reassured. I also like the sense of togetherness.

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Guest californiadreamer

Leigh is often placed naked across my lap as we listen to soft music. I then apply lotions to her red behind and apply it slowly and softly. This represents the duality of the hand that is so capable of turning her cheeks scarlet is also the hand that can be soft, loving and nurturing. How I love stroking the cheeks that I've just chastised. The sweet redness and caring for my girl in the way that she needs to be cared for. We talk if talk is desired or just continue in silence. We've done this since the first time and will continue to do this forever.

  • Like 2
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