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Any1 used self-starvation for punishment?


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I'm using it because I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I did something that wasn't exactly against my rules, but at the same time, something that I didn't want to repeatedly do. One of the main reasons my rules help me, I think, is that they're strict. They're made so that I don't need to think, rethink, reason, make good judgments or toy with loopholes - I just have to obey them, to the letter. I don't believe what I did was wrong, but at the same time, I'm afraid ill slide into a pattern of doing it so often that I wont follow my rules strictly anymore. It was confusing - if I decided that I did nothing wrong, I was certain to lose the security and strictness of my rules by possibly doing it again. If I decided I did do something wrong, I'd lose confidence in myself and in my ability to follow my rules in the future, which would cause me to start slacking off and falling apart. So what's a girl to do? I've decided to handle it by removing eating privileges till tomorrow night, and even then ill eat only a light meal as usual. This should teach me a lesson. At least I hope it will, because I love food.

any1 else used this method?

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Ideally, rules should be related to good health and personal growth, and consequences should be related to the infraction. For example, I have a tendency to stay up late playing games on the computer and to not get enough sleep when I'm stressed (which is a lot these days). Therefore, I have rules to get off the computer by 10 and to be in bed by 11:30. If I miss those curfews, the consequences are usually that I have to go to bed even earlier, and maybe I have to be off the computer by 8 or not use the computer at all for a night (which I hate).

I cannot think of any good reason to withold food as a punishment. Eating is necessary for good health, and I can't imagine a good parent or disciplinarian witholding nourishment (unless it's just junk food or something that you're not supposed to eat, which is unhealthy anyway). You haven't given any details about why you feel you should be punished, but I'm just not seeing the witholding of nourishment as a reasonable consequence for pretty much anything. Some people fast for medical, cultural, or religious reasons, but that's not what you're describing here (and even in those circumstances, there are rules for safety). Personally, I don't recommend it.

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I ate a hushpuppy from my moms plate. I feel I shouldn't have done that because the eating rules don't really allow that. I'm trying to look for ways to make it a breach of the rules in my mind so I wont have to hassle over whether or not I used good judgment instead. I've decided that since I made a rule against snacking, I broke it by eating the hushpuppy, so I feel calmer now that everything's black and white.

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Starvation falls under self harm and should not be acceptable as a punishment. You should be discussing this with whoever sets your rules.

Something like this would get me in more trouble or be seen as a sign for attention...but it wouldn't bring me positive attention!!

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Incisron...

While I understand that there needs to be consequences for rule breaking, they have to be realistic consequences that are going to do you some good. Setting up this particular consequence is not only unhealthy, (Healthy being the ultimate goal, I assume!) but you are setting yourself up for failure.

First of all, examine the rule. Is the rule a good rule? Probably not. Most of the literature suggests that snacking is actually good for us and may help with weight loss. It's a matter of choosing good snacks.

Secondly, does the punishment suit the crime. In this case- HELL NO! There is plenty enough in the world to feel bad about, don't let a hush puppy be another one! Here's an alternative consequence= do the research on healthy snacks, and write a short paragraph on the proper way to snack!

HUGS!

MB

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Guest spankMY(_(_)

incisron, this post scares me.

Rules or guidelines are healthy to have, sometimes they're healthier to have when there is someone who cares (with a paddle maybe) that helps us balance them when we can't see objectively. Totally get where you're coming from as we can be our own harshest judges, but if we let one little slip slide by, then it becomes easier to justify it a second or third or fourth time and let it get out of control. If there is nobody to talk to or paddle on with, a neutral punishment like MissBam's idea about homework, research on healthy snacking and writing assignments is a great alternative. At least that way you're learning and growing instead of potentially hurting yourself.

*hugs* stay safe.

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Incision, I'm worried about this whole notion of self starvation as punishment, truly I am.

I understand at least intellectually the whole purpose of rules and that they require consequences, something I'm personally grateful for my mentor imposing on me, but food is very substance of life itself. You need it. Nor is it proportionate to withhold any for it (taking away a 'treat' food like chocolate buttons can be justified imho).

There is plenty of good advice about healthy eating out there and working on a plan to improve what you eat is sensible as if you're like of most of us we may make bad choices with some sanction such as assignment if you slide is fine. Self starving just isn't.

Take care.

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Incisron,

I know how having strict rules makes the world seem less chaotic and and terrifying. Please dont use starvation as a means to cope. Its an illusion. Controlling your body is a way to fall back on a constant when you're confused, and every step seems to be in a field of land minds.

You dont just harm your body; you harm the best part of you that you just cant see right now. You're starting down a path of eating disorders that has more mortality than the combined mortality of every other form of mental illness. You will NOT find control; instead, in a very short time, you will become a slave to this new master, and believe you deserve the physical, emotional and psychological irreparable damage this master demands.

You are young and unsure and need some order in your life. This is just a bandaid but will leave lasting scars; and you are too good for that.You have a sweetness of the soul rarely found these days; thats what you need to hold onto. Self starvation is as much as an illusion as cutting.

So you like to eat; that isnt a negative, it shows how much you thrive on the simple acts enjoying each moment, because that is all we any of us guaranteed, the moment we live in.

its nothing more than a bandaid when you are confused about your needs and think there is something wrong with having those needs. There isnt. Live now, in the moment ; dont be afraid to take that blind leap. Theres a great big world out there sweetie and you have so much to contribute and make it a better place to live.

PM if you want to talk; or we can talk on the phone. I care a great deal about you and I know from experience where this path will lead you.

You matter. You have a kind and beautiful heart. And you need to believe that.

Self starvation such as fasting, can create so much physical damage now that you might not feel for years but will take its toll. I know you are thinking, everyone is overreacting but and once you kneel to this new master, it will amplify from a day of fasting to a week; to restricting your food intake to only "approved" food allowed, and then the panicky need to make amends to keep the illusion going. There is no master, he is just the old man behind a curtain in the Wizard of Oz,

(((HUGS)))

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Guest jamieuk74

Incisron. You can pm me at any time. I'm not saying this in a mentor way but merely as an older friend. I remember being 19 and it was a hard year going from my teens to my twenties. It can seem dark but there is light at the end of the tunnel.

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Imo, you are on dicey ground, both physiologically, and psychologically.....you might ask yourself (or a trusted counselor) if you might be playing out control issues under the auspices of it being a "punishment" of some kind. In any event, there are safer, as well as more effective negative consequences you or someone else could impose on yourself for behaviors you are looking to change.

:rolleyes:
Ben

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I would be fine with using withholding unhealthy foods as a punishment - chocolate, ice cream, cookies, etc. But not all foods. Your body needs certain foods for fuel. I'd recommend withholding only unhealthy foods that you love.

Keep in mind that the food=bad mindset can cause issues like anorexia and bulimia.

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I ate a hushpuppy from my moms plate. I feel I shouldn't have done that because the eating rules don't really allow that. I'm trying to look for ways to make it a breach of the rules in my mind so I wont have to hassle over whether or not I used good judgment instead. I've decided that since I made a rule against snacking, I broke it by eating the hushpuppy, so I feel calmer now that everything's black and white.

There are probably more than a few Overthinkers Anonymous here (as I am) but deciding to simplify life by this is right, and this is wrong will never allow you see the shades between. Life is never black and white; its a slippery slope in a kaleidoscope of colors. And all the strict rules you impose on yourself will not make your world any safer; and fasting for 24 hours because of a minor sllpup like a hushpuppy is overkill.

Years ago I had a rule that I had to walk the dogs five miles everyday regardless of weather conditions or if I was sick. I unknowingly broke a bone in my left foot and had swelled to the size of a football; and still I walked; I was stronger than the pain. Granted, I'm no Einstein, but that was one of the stupidest things I've ever done. If the bone had been set immediately I would have been on crutches for 3 weeks; instead it was for 2 months.. The pediatrician gave me a look of "What were you thinking??? Did you have a second bowl of stupid that day,"

Maintain or try to live a healthy lifestyle. Do you know the trick to stop cravings? Allow yourself to have a small portion and you will find your cravings greatly reduced. We always want what we cant have; once you lift the restriction, the craving loses its appeal.

I like MB's idea alot; research nutrition and realize you are human and will never be perfect. I have never eaten the 3 meals a day but have a lot of minimeals that are easier to digest,

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Honey...in my opinion...this does not seem healthy to me. I have learned a lot since I got married about good nutrition and how important it is to good health of body and mind and spirit. In my opinion, you are not helping yourself with this kind of discipline. For what it's worth, my husband ties my discipline and training to activities and tasks that make me stronger and better, even though they might, at the time, be unpleasant and not what I would prefer. So...after the discipline...I have actually grown and become stronger in some way. Denying yourself good healthy food can set you up for potential eating disorders, and please...do not do that. I have a dear friend in our church that looks like a concentration camp victim because of an eating disorder...she is miserable. If anything, honey, consider disciplining yourself to eating good nutritional food with an overall balance and plan...and deny yourself the planned treat of cake or candy if you misbehave to your rules. Just a thought..but good food is sooo important honey.

Nicole

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I'm big and need to lose weight. If someone told me how to eat to get healthy, that's one thing. Telling me to starve? Um... no. As they say, "ain't nobody got time for 'dat."

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This worries me on many levels to be quite honest. Anyone that would consider this, much less go through with it, needs serious help with body image among other things.

If anyone feels this bad about themselves, please get professional help as soon as possible. There are people out there they can help with body image.

I understand the urge to lose weight, society tells us that everyone needs to conform to weight limits, but this is taking it way too far.

The proper way to lose weight is to do it over time, through diet changes and increasing exercise, not through starving yourself. I have done it myself, it is possible, it just takes time. It can be a long road.

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