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shygurl

For EEs and ERs both

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This has probably been asked before, but I ran across it on another site today and I'm very curious as to what everyone's responses will be.

This can be answered by everyone.

WHAT IS A MENTOR TO YOU?

WHAT DO YOU EXPECT FROM THEM?

WHAT DO MENTORS EXPECT FROM MENTEES?

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Guest Californiadreamer

A mentor to me should be someone who has agreed to a mutually formed agreement with the mentee to assist him/ her in certain areas of her existence which he/she feels needs guidance and motivation for improvement on. The methods that are used in this mentorship should also be discussed and mutually agreed upon. Some of the characteristics that I believe that the mentor should display are caring yet firmness, honesty, integrity, communication skills which includes both as a communicator and listener, objectivity and fairness. I can't stress enough that the mentor's degree of involvement and control must be one that is mutually agreed upon through communication.

The main thing that I expect from a mentee is honesty. hopefully the trust and mutual respect will evolve along with the mentorship, but to me honesty is essential. Without it, there is absolutely no way that I can perform my responsibilities as I have no way of knowing the level of growth that is taking place or whether or not that there has been adherence to the mutual agreed upon terms of the mentorship.

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Two other compounded elements to sufficiently address & resolve an issue within a timely manner, with minimal frustration from either side are :

Reasonable Effort & Compliance from the EE and the Swift & Just from the ER.

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Very good explanation Dreamer Sir...hoping others will reply. I'm very interested to see how things vary.

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I wrote my thoughts on the ee/er relationship about a year or so ago and posted it here and on the mentoring part of my website.

Although the dance can be complicated and the chemistry varied, respect, willingness and sincerity -- from both sides are paramount for any mentoring relationship to work.

If the mentoring relationship evolves into something verging on DD or TiH then that's fine but, to my way of thinking, a platonic relationship based on goals and objectives is preferable. One of my concerns here is that too many women enter into a mentoring relationship inspired by a '50 shades' mindset. That's why I take the time to send a note to the newbies in an effort to make them aware of the need to keep their eyes and mind open.

And - again based on chat and some of the posts - there seems to be a recurring theme that the longer and harder a spanking/paddling is, the better it is for the 'ee. Its based on need and receptiveness and body type. A spanking that meets the needs of 'mentee a' could easily send 'mentee B' to the emergency room. Maybe corner time and lines work with A but not B. Maybe a did-ish lecture will reduce B to tears while A is not effected.

There's no one-size-fits-all approach to this and the folks who post or chat otherwise, or demean those who require a lessened level of spanking/paddling truly have an incomplete understanding of the dynamics.

Rant over. Getting off soap box for now.

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Well, just in my case, i would likely need a lot of serious maintenance paddlings and strappings to maintain me in line...i think that would help most...

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This is a good question, but as others have pointed out, there isn't a cookie cutter answer to the question. So very much of a mentor/pupil relationship depends on the the personalities involved and the dynamics of the situation. That said, you've already see a couple of very good answers here. I'll echo California Dreamer's feelings about honesty - it is so crucial to the mission of delivering effective discipline that it's impossible to do without (as far as I'm concerned, anyway). Bluepencil's comments on sincerity, willingness, and respect are also worth reading (and re-reading - for EEs and ERs).

My personal experience is mostly with college age students - it's where I started and I've had some pupils help others self refer for correction. In these relationships I insist on trust, respect, and strict limits - there is no sexual component to my discipline. I'm there to change a person's behavior and by extension thier life and their outlook on what their capabilities are. What has worked best for me is to work with the pupil to discover what works, and then apply what works to the goals. One of my pupils simply required a good lecture when her grades weren't up to par followed by a supervised homework session - she got spankings only when lectures didn't have the required effect. Another preferred spankings as a "reminder" no matter what her grades were. Most recenlty I've ahd sucess with a mixed mode - spankings for bad grades followed by a "redo" of the homework, test, etc. For example, if my pupil got an 80/100 on a test (less than her stated desire of "straight A's" she'd get a spanking and would have to redo the missed questions in short answer form for my grading. She didn't take the first "redo" seriously. It wasn't a problem again.

I'll also echo Bluepencil's remarks on length and severity - it depends on the person, the body type, the goals, and the offense, and from my perspective is something that must be considered carefully. I don't give a pupil the same punishment after she exhibits improvement that I would for the first offense or even for showing a decline in performance. That wouldn't make sense from a discipline perspective.

In a nutshell, I see myself as a guide, and guiding behavior requires the mentor to think, observe, and apply discipline where it will do the most good.

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