Asking this one for my husband, tips for spankers?

[cat627]

Hi hi

Okay, I'm asking this one for my husband lol... He is wondering, with all the tips and advice concerning 'ees , how to safely spank, reduce damage for the 'ee etc.... what about on the spankers side?

He's a pretty muscular guy, has a lot of strength and does a lot of physical labor for his work during the day, but I guess despite his having the strength, he says he seems to be lacking endurance ; His arm gets quite tired out and sore really easily, even using implements... I don't know if it's the combination of spanking and the heavy physical activity and heavy lifting he normally does 10+hrs each day but it's become difficult for him to go through with a full spanking without stopping on several occassions to stretch his arm or just cut it short...

He's wondering if any other spankers have this problem, whether it gets any easier with practice or whether or not any precautions should be taken on the spankers side, if there is any tips or advice that could be given...

I am a little worried as well, our last spanking was a bit awkward, in the end it was him wincing in pain and sore for hours afterward... and while I was slightly amused watching him from my spot across the bed where I should have been the one feeling the pain.... I have to say I am a little worried because as I said, he does a lot of physical labor and heavy lifting at his job, and I certainly don't want him throwing his arm out or anything on account of me o.O;

[Kacie]

I am obviously not a husband, or even male, however I thought I would add my 2 cents...

I know there are implements, that when used on me feel rather nice. There are others that take my breath away and I don't think I can bear it. Perhaps if an implement change were made he wouldn't have to exert himself quite so much, yes?

[Salt Lake Disiplinarian]

Wellll "Cat", it does take pratice to build up the endurence as no matter how much lifting he does at work, the muscles involved in giving a good long spanking are TOTALLY different as well as the shoulder ones.. He might want to make some sessions without any impliments a few minutes every day for a few weeks as well as doing your spankings just making the move actions. This might assist him in loosining the muscles involved, just as someone were doing weight lifting. Also as "Kacie" suggested changing impliments might help. Also, if he's doing otk spankings, have him try both long and short handled impliments to see which feels better for him.

For me personally, I use short handled ones whan doing the over the knee ones. Now when doing them otherwise, it's a long handled one for sure.

[Good thing you are not sassing back or cussing. I have soooooo many things overhere to take care of that too. heheheheehhe]

BTW, just for your information, I have been a Professional Discplinarian for 38 yrs now. If you'd like to chat more about this or have him contact me, please feel free to.

Paul Lortz [The Punisher]

[DarkSteven]

Are these two minute spankings that tire him out, or three hour ones? Has he had a physical checkup recently?

[Aspenleafquaking]

In my experience my arm gets tired and it is time to make the ee stand in the corner for a bit to give my arm a break. Also using different positions not just OTK. Using some implements that require the ee to bend over something helps as well. Just a few thoughts. If it is taking that long to get the point across then maybe you are running away in your head and not staying with him. If this is the case more verbal interaction needs to take place during the spanking. Hope any of this may help.

Miss Aspen

[johnpaul]

I am obviously not a husband, or even male, however I thought I would add my 2 cents... I know there are implements, that when used on me feel rather nice. There are others that take my breath away and I don't think I can bear it. Perhaps if an implement change were made he wouldn't have to exert himself quite so much, yes?

slowing the pace....but increasing the force....can make the best move.....

[johnpaul]

Wellll "Cat", it does take pratice to build up the endurence as no matter how much lifting he does at work, the muscles involved in giving a good long spanking are TOTALLY different as well as the shoulder ones.. He might want to make some sessions without any impliments a few minutes every day for a few weeks as well as doing your spankings just making the move actions. This might assist him in loosining the muscles involved, just as someone were doing weight lifting. Also as "Kacie" suggested changing impliments might help. Also, if he's doing otk spankings, have him try both long and short handled impliments to see which feels better for him.

For me personally, I use short handled ones whan doing the over the knee ones. Now when doing them otherwise, it's a long handled one for sure.

[Good thing you are not sassing back or cussing. I have soooooo many things overhere to take care of that too. heheheheehhe]

BTW, just for your information, I have been a Professional Discplinarian for 38 yrs now. If you'd like to chat more about this or have him contact me, please feel free to.

Paul Lortz [The Punisher]

last time you told me about the surprise and how not to tell....just let them wonder...works very well.... soap and ginger has been on the screen.... so....who knows....

[cat627]

Thanks everyone for your input...

Are these two minute spankings that tire him out, or three hour ones? Has he had a physical checkup recently?

5-10 minutes I'd say? ~.~; Longer if I've been struggling or fighting it... and he is in very good health. I admit the past week it's been hard for me to be in the correct mindset... Actually this last week it's been a bit off... Either it just goes over my head, I don't feel much and I forget all about it and screw up further, or it feels like too much and whereas normally I'm able to somewhat accept my punishments gracefully, I may freak out and struggle like mad.... Then there have been a few emotional times where I don't know what was going on but I was frustrated before, during and after...

With his busy schedule we got stuck on the "Tab" thing again.... 50 for this, 25 for that ,all added up on a list, forgotten about for a few days until he has time and I do something to remind him...

It's felt like a lot of work and a huge hassle for him again lately, though for the longest time everything was going so well and we were both happy with how things were working... wer'e just in one of those slump times I guess...

I'll pass on all of this input and thanks again =)

[MissBam]

One thing I might suggest is eliminating the "counting" of swats. It should be sufficient for you to know that if you commit certain infractions, you will be spanked for them for however long and with whatever implement he chooses. That puts the control back in his hands.

Now, what's all this squirming and fighting about?

MB

[cat627]

One thing I might suggest is eliminating the "counting" of swats. It should be sufficient for you to know that if you commit certain infractions, you will be spanked for them for however long and with whatever implement he chooses. That puts the control back in his hands.

Now, what's all this squirming and fighting about?

MB

Thank you Miss Bam for your suggestion... I'll mention it to him... It was his thing setting up x amount of spankings for x transaction... I don't know when why or how it started but he seemed comfortable with it and so I never questioned it... But it was always him deciding this, and 95% of the time he chooses the implement... (~.~ On some rare occassions he's told me to "Pick one" but usually he's not satisfied with my weak choice and picks something himself anyways)

But you're right it is sufficient for me to know just that I'll be spanked for however long he chooses... actually and honestly , I think things worked out better before I knew how much, before it was just all "numbers" it all just goes over my head and is lost on me, especially with the tab, and with him, well he's become a bit more annoyed these days having all these "Numbers" looming ahead of him that he has to deal with... But it's been something I've been hesitant to bring up.... He's finally gotten "Into" all of this, and has felt comfortable with calling all the shots and I've been really happy about that... the last thing I want to do is question, suggest or criticize...

As for the struggling and fighting... well there are two reasons I think of... First... as I mentioned, he's *really* gotten comfortable in his new role in our relationship, whereas before he was reluctant and would have me come up with everything and he would just "Go along with it" now he's really serious and pretty gung-ho about it, I think he's enjoying this.... I guess it is this that every once in awhile slightly makes me nervous, I'm not used to it and I'm still learning to trust.... Sometimes when he gets really assertive/aggressive I panic a bit, sometimes I'm afraid he might miss or I'll get hurt... (before you think I'm some horrible brat here, keep in mind I've had my own past issues, and our road to domestic discipline had a rocky start, on the bdsm road which was disasterous and I still have a few scars from our careless attempts) I don't believe he'd *ever* "intentionally" hurt me... but there have been times in the past I got hurt accidentally, and I still have a few "Issues" that sometimes get in the way..... But lately this has been the easiest to take care of..... Usually when I panic like this, I've learned instead of freaking out, to be honest and communicate my worries...

If I panic and struggle or try to avoid it, and I'm feeling like this, and he confronts me about it, I've learned to say what I'm feeling. "I'm afraid" "Why are you afraid?" "Because you're coming at me so fast..." or "I'm afraid you might miss...." or "What if this happens?" or "I just need a minute to calm down/catch my breath" And I've noticed this helps * a lot * he gives me a quick minute, he reassures me that he's going to be careful, he slows down, he does what he needs to in order to make me feel safe, and make sure I understand, and will ask if I'm "ready" before proceeding.... This totally calms me down, lets me refocus, clear my fears and we can move on...

The other times .... Well, o.O;; I'm just really wound up and hyper, and odds are I probably got *too* playful/mischevious and am in some wild and crazy mode where everything he says is going through one ear and out the other and I'm probably bouncing off the walls as if I'd guzzled a dozen energy drinks lol....

This happened a lot this past week, he's been working overtime, my days have been long and boring, and when he comes home I am ready for the attention, fun, and it feels like the day finally begins... I just have all this pent up energy stored up, and while he's tired and worn, ~.~; I kinda want all the attention... yes I'm a total kid...

But yeah, when I'm like that, I'm far from "Calm and submissive" and if I've been teasing, poking, prodding, playing and goofing off, pestering and bugging and hanging all over him .... o.O; well it's not so easy to suddenly calm down in 5 seconds, and calmly place myself over his knee for a spanking... Odds are I'm probably laughing, and will run to the room "okay okay i'll stop! LOL really! " even as he finally catches me and starts smacking away I'm so wound up I just end up fighting it.... when i get like that I'm like one of those windup toys, the moment it's wound up , well good luck stopping it till it's run it's course...

And being spanked while I'm going into hysterics laughing? o.O; I hardly feel it when I'm laughing that hard, sometimes he ends up getting amused and laughs too, other times he's annoyed that I don't seem to be "feeling it" and me... well when I'm laughing that hard, the spanking almost seems akin to tickling in the way I just want to break away and I end up laughing harder and harder... o.O;

It's no excuse I know, it's bad and I shouldn't do it and should control myself, I'm not proud of my getting like that, but that's kinda what happens... ~.~; I'm such a kid...

But I'm not usually like that though.... only this past week when he's been working so many hours and I've had so much pent up energy and get all wound up and excited to see him

[MissBam]

Lol, Cat, you crack me up!

I just know that I can spank all day and not get tired, but when I start counting swats, I definitely get tired! (might have something to do with the fact that when I count, I lose count, so I have to start all over again!) Counting swats also makes it seem more like a chore, and as we all know...chores make us tired!

As far as the squirming and fighting stuff, there are several things that you can do. In all instances, whether they be "issue" things or energy things, learn some deep breathing and relaxation techniques. Since you know what your issue 'triggers' are, you can either agree to completely avoid those triggers, or you can begin to work on desensitizing yourself to them. Find your comfort zone.

As far as that wound up pent up energy thing- you made the mistake of using the word 'bored' with me. Too much time on your hands girl! If a job is out of the question, get yourself a hobby! Get creative! Try to exercise before he gets home, but make sure youre finished at least 20 minutes before he gets home. Go for a brisk walk...same deal. Give him some "settle-in" space and time if he needs it. Sometimes he will, sometimes he won't.

I am also glad to see that the two of you have your fun and giggles spanking time, too...I think that is so important! At these times, squirming is not only allowed, but encouraged! (of course, you know that you'll pay for it!). What's important is that you learn to be able to know the difference between 'real' and 'play' and behave accordingly!

Good thread, Cat!

MB

[liz3564]

delete

[SpankToLearn]

Personally I find counting spanks aloud to be a needless distraction for the spanker and the spanked. I would want her full attention on the sensations. Since I am the observer it is my responsibility to keep control. Let let her drift safely and she can fade away and radiate, knowing all is well.

[zoominglady]

On 4/14/2013 at 1:41 PM, MissBam said:

Lol, Cat, you crack me up!

I just know that I can spank all day and not get tired, but when I start counting swats, I definitely get tired! (might have something to do with the fact that when I count, I lose count, so I have to start all over again!) Counting swats also makes it seem more like a chore, and as we all know...chores make us tired!

As far as the squirming and fighting stuff, there are several things that you can do. In all instances, whether they be "issue" things or energy things, learn some deep breathing and relaxation techniques. Since you know what your issue 'triggers' are, you can either agree to completely avoid those triggers, or you can begin to work on desensitizing yourself to them. Find your comfort zone.

As far as that wound up pent up energy thing- you made the mistake of using the word 'bored' with me. Too much time on your hands girl! If a job is out of the question, get yourself a hobby! Get creative! Try to exercise before he gets home, but make sure youre finished at least 20 minutes before he gets home. Go for a brisk walk...same deal. Give him some "settle-in" space and time if he needs it. Sometimes he will, sometimes he won't.

I am also glad to see that the two of you have your fun and giggles spanking time, too...I think that is so important! At these times, squirming is not only allowed, but encouraged! (of course, you know that you'll pay for it!). What's important is that you learn to be able to know the difference between 'real' and 'play' and behave accordingly!

Good thread, Cat!

MB

Cat-. I do feel you on the wound up factor.  I have some mood issues and a. Job I love in my field  , but it is naturally stressful.  Sometimes it's the mood swings.  Other times it's stress, but I go through phases where the rules go out the window and I am far from tactful or mature.  My mentor gives me some leeway, and I do I am really bouncing, we pause our PMs.  And discuss later.  I have a love/ hate relationship with bounciness.