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  1. My wife and I have a domestic discipline relationship. As the husband, I am the primary dominant presence in our relationship. My wife is not afraid to take me over her lap as well though if I step out of line. We’re just looking for other like couples to chat with an potentially get to know. Let me know who all is out there!
  2. Hello! I've been looking for a long term spanking relationship. I'm usually a good girl and just need reminder spanks. But when I'm naughty I will need you to give me a warm red bottom. I also like having spankings for fun. If you are looking for a meaningful relationship please message me.
  3. Early again, though this time I know I'll be attending the convention. I have room reserved for AnthroCon for July 4 - 7, 2019. I have put out roomshare information on Discord and FurAffinity. During AnthroCon, I will be wearing disposable adult diapers except when traveling to/from or using the swimming pool and except in the rare case of an actual accident, I will only wet them. In the event that I end up rooming alone, or I do have roommates who aren't willing to spank me but don't have a problem if I have someone else do it, I would like to get spanked each day, preferably twice: a morning spanking after 8:00 a.m. and an evening spanking that ends before 8:00 p.m.
  4. This is a guide I wish had existed before I got my first punishment spanking. I was very ignorant, and very terrified! I'm posting it here so I can link to it next time I see one of those "I'm going to get my first spanking--Halp!!" threads. If you want to copy and send it to a new ee or just post it somewhere, please go ahead. You don't have to credit me. So you entered into a power exchange relationship with someone. You agreed on rules and consequences. Maybe you thought those consequences would never come to pass, but here you are. Your top, dom, Daddy, or whoever you answer to has decided that you deserve to be punished, and that punishment has to be a spanking. What do you do now? The answer may have seemed obvious before: you bend over and take your spanking. End of story. But now that you're facing the reality of punishment, you have worries and questions. That's only natural. Everyone who was new to spanking at some point feared and wondered the same things. What's Going To Happen? This is a great question to ask your top. Some disciplinarians have elaborate punishment rituals, while others are much more informal. For the purposes of this article, we're going to assume that you have a wise and benevolent spanker who welcomes communication and wants to help you take your spanking as best you can. They should prepare you for what's going to happen, and let you know what will be expected of you. What's Not Going To Happen? If you expect your disciplinarian to spend a lot of time fussing over you and reassuring you before your first spanking, you're probably going to be disappointed. I'll save you both some time by responding to what are probably your two top concerns: "How much is it going to hurt?" More than you want it to. "But I'm scared!" You should be. If you're so frightened you feel like you're going to vomit or pass out, let your top know, and they'll help you. Spankings should be scary, but they shouldn't be THAT scary. Just be aware that "help" in this context may not be cuddling and reassuring words. It may just be a mercifully prompt beginning to your punishment, so you won't have to wait and fret anymore. Questions To Ask Until you're actually bent over the spanking horse or your disciplinarian's lap getting your butt blistered, you won't know for certain how you'll react. It's best to prepare for possible eventualities by talking to your top beforehand. For example, what happens if you swear? A lot of people instinctively curse when they experience pain. Is your top going to wash your mouth out with soap if you start swearing? Will curse words earn you extra swats? Or will your spanker just laugh? It's worth noting that while some disciplinarians let swearing in general slide, I have never met one yet who tolerates being sworn at. There's a difference between "fuck" and "fuck you," and it would be a good idea to prepare yourself to remember that, even under duress. Another thing to ask is what happens if you move out of position. Are you going to be calmly but firmly reminded to hold still, or is your spanking going to start over from the beginning? Will kicking, squirming, or attempts to block spanks with your hand earn you extra punishment? It's also good to ask for any clarification you may need about your disciplinarian's practices and expectations of you. Are you expected to count strokes aloud? Will you be told in advance how many swats you're going to get, or is not knowing when the spanking will end part of the discipline? What should you do if something goes dramatically wrong, such as your feeling like you're going to be sick, or a spank has landed badly and you feel you're genuinely injured? Your dynamic may require that you accept your punishment without protest, but you should always be welcome to communicate and ask questions--provided you're not just asking questions to stall. Surviving the Wait For some spankees, the anticipation of a spanking is worse than the actual spanking itself. This is particularly likely to be true if this is the first time you've been spanked. Keep in mind that half of what you're fearing is just the unknown. Ask questions and trust your disciplinarian to be sensible and fair, and some of that fear should dissipate. You may be tempted to tell every kinky friend you've got about your impending sentence, in the hopes that talking about it may help reduce the anxiety. And maybe it will. Beware of others' "war stories," however. It is not helpful for someone to say, "Oh, I remember my first spanking! It was soooooo bad . . ." but you might be surprised at how many people will respond in just that way. Remember that dramatic stories make for better telling, and that your friend may be exaggerating for effect. Also keep in mind that they are not you. Just because they received 100 strokes of the cane and 500 with a flogger during their first spanking doesn't mean that you will. Your experience will be your own. Long Waits Some of us live long distances from our disciplinarians, or have other reasons that necessitate a long wait between a punishment's pronouncement and its execution. If you're the anxious type, as I am, this can be very, very hard to take. My advice, as a fellow anxious person, is to do two apparently contradictory things: try not to think about it, and try to make your dread useful. Keeping busy and minimizing the amount of time you stare off into space, letting your thoughts wander, will help keep you from ruminating. I turn on the TV as I fall asleep so I have something benign to think about as I get drowsy. During those times when you can't help but think about your impending punishment, try to work to just accept it. After all, unless you want out of your dynamic altogether, there's no way to avoid it. Take responsibility, admit you deserve to feel bad right now, and resolve to do better in the future. This is easier said than done, but sucking it up and accepting what you have coming will help you become the best version of yourself you can be. Short Waits The day is here, the spanking is coming. It's just not happening quite yet. Maybe your disciplinarian has sent you to your room or to the corner to think about what you did, and what the consequences will be. Practice acceptance, as I mentioned above, but also check in with yourself to make sure you don't get overwhelmed. After all, your top hasn't even touched you yet! Remember to breathe. If you're very anxious, breathe in for a slow count of four, and breathe out for a slow count of six. Focus on your breath, and the sensations in your body. Is your heart hammering? Are your hands sweaty? Those are just signs of anxiety, and while it's unpleasant, anxiety never killed anyone. Focus on your surroundings. Feel your feet in your shoes, your hands at your sides. Even if you're standing in the corner, you can pick a paint speck or bump on the wall to fasten on. Listen to your breathing, and any ambient sounds in the room. Pick a mantra. This can be a short prayer (I sometimes use the Hail Mary), or brief statement of purpose, such as: "I will learn from this, and I will do better next time." There's also the famous passage from Dune, which I like a lot: "I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." These techniques can get you through those last agonizing minutes until the real punishment begins. Taking Your Spanking This is it: the moment you've been dreading. While the spanking lasts and for some while after, you're going to be absolutely miserable. It's okay to hate it. In fact, hating it is the point. Keep in mind though (as far as you can keep anything in mind when your tail is being lit up), that the pain won't last forever. It will fade, and when it does, the slate will be wiped clean. Remember to keep breathing while you're being spanked. It's easy to forget to do this simple thing in the stress of the moment. If the pace of the spanking is slow enough, try to exhale when the swats land, and inhale during the wind-up. If you're getting a fast-paced spanking, just gasp along as best you can. Since you've already asked your disciplinarian what to do in case of an emergency, you know how to respond if you can't get enough air in and you start to feel dizzy. Do your best to hold still. This is a matter of safety as well as self-discipline. There are places on the body that are safe to strike, such as the cushy areas of the bottom and the backs of the thigs, and there are areas that are dangerous to strike, such as over the tailbone or the backs of the testicles. You do NOT want to jerk or squirm at the wrong moment and take a smack somewhere dangerous. If you really cannot hold resonably still, use your emergency signal and ask to be restrained for your own safety. Communicate as best you can. This may only be in the form of body language, or in grunts, cries, or sobs, but let your spanker know what is going on with you. It may seem more dignified or submissive to lie as silent and stoic as a log, but if you do, your disciplinarian may assume they're not getting through to you. (I am assuming that you are a well-intentioned person who is serious about accepting your discipline, and that you will not throw a dramatic fit in the hopes of getting your spanker to stop sooner. This is an ill-advised thing to do. If your top has any experience, they will know what you're trying to pull and respond accordingly. It's literally your ass on the line.) Aftermath And Aftercare Once the spanking is finally over, you may be sent to the corner or some other quiet place to cool down and consider your lesson. This is a chance to re-center yourself, and work out in your mind what you're going to tell your disciplinarian when they ask you for your plan to avoid problem behaviors in the future. Alternatively, your disciplinarian may feel that you've suffered enough, and an immediate expression of care and forgiveness is in order. They may hug you, bring you a warm blanket and a glass of water, or just leave you alone for a while, if that's how you calm down. Aftercare should leave you feeling soothed and as if you've got a fresh start ahead of you. Spanking is an intimate act, and aftercare is the most intimate part of all. Take time to enjoy it. Since you're no longer being punished, your top will probably respond postively to reasonable requests, such as for a tighter hug or a kiss on the forehead. As always, the experience will be more beneficial for you if you communicate your needs. And that will be that. The great thing about spanking as a punishment is that when it's over, it's over. You don't have weeks or months of dull grounding hanging over your head. You can pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and go back to living your life--sorer maybe, but hopefully wiser.
  5. Hello, I'm a little new to the area. I'm a 27 yr old male. I actually live in Vancouver, WA. Wondering if there are any women around the same age into spanking in the area. Mainly looking for friends in the community to talk to. Feel free to reach out
  6. I am curious to know if there are stirght men that desires to get spanked by a man? Thought of having a Man over my lap and dominating him is very exciting. Masculinity in my control and over my lap is such an empowering thought that creates a phenomenal energy that boots through me...
  7. I'm curious to know what people believe in and how they integrate or separate spanking and their belief system.
  8. hi just want to introduce myself 38 m sometimes i wear bra and panties no experience want to try a spanking from an Older Man in south FL
  9. I need discipline. I have no self discipline and my husband doesn't discipline me enough. I feel out of control. Is there even such a thing as an online disciplinarian?
  10. Hi everyone! One thing I've struggled with a great deal is finding a partner who will ONLY spank me. I'm not interested in the sex aspect of it. Spankings for me are more disciplinary. I guess I've just never found a good place to interact yet. I realize that perhaps my wants are a bit unrealistic (I want to find a guy to eventually marry and while I believe in spankings, I don't want sex before marriage) but surely there must be some guys out there who understand, right? I miss the olden days where sex wasn't expected until after marriage and a guy could still firmly discipline his girl! Aw, well. What do you think? Am I being too picky or are some guys thinking too much with their willy?
  11. Hi I am a grandpa when enjoys administering spanking. If you live in or around Edmonton, Alberta and need a spanking I can help you out.
  12. It seems like this is just not the fetish for me and perhaps I should just relegate myself to a more vanilla life-style. I wanted to stay silent about this, but this needs to be said and serve as a WARNING for any and all spankos. I have ONCE AGAIN had a terrible experience due to someone on this site. It was a combination of them overstepping the boundaries we both put into place AND manipulation. Here's what happened: In July a week after Independence Day, I got a message from a fellow spanko I had met twice beforehand. He told me he was in the area and we could meet at the hotel he was staying at. I saw no reason why not, since I had been spanked by him before and it was a wonderful time for the both of us. I agreed and went to the hotel. There was wine waiting for me and I took a few sips as we talked and caught up. Then it was time to "get down to business". I excused myself to go shower, I had brought pajamas and was going to sleep at the hotel that night (there were two beds, as well. I wasn't scared or nervous. Like before, there was no pressure from him for me to sleep with him). After showering and putting on my nightshirt, he wasted no time in getting me across is lap and spanking me. Now, I hadn't been spanked in a while and kept trying to tell him to ease up. And YES, I even used a safe-word AND tried shouting RED in the ever popular Red, Yellow, Green method He did not. So I just gritted my teeth and took it. I did not enjoy any part of it. This is where the FIRST breech of trust was broken. I don't care what ANYONE SAYS, but when the Dom doesn't take the Sub's overall trust and comfort into account for a session (ESPECIALLY a session that is NOT for punishment), then they are no longer a Dom. They're an abuser. I actually started crying, something ANYONE who has spanked me before will say I have never done. At that point and tore myself away from him and told him I was not comfortable. And what does this man proceed to do? Comfort me? Hug me? NOPE. He says "Oh, I didn't hear you. But get back over here, we're not finished." EXCUSE ME?? At that point I just left and went to the bedroom area and started to pack my clothes up with every mind to leave. But he proceeded in telling me he was sorry and that he "honestly couldn't hear me." and that "He was stressed out and needed this to work so he could get out his frustrations by spanking such a nice bottom" And I hate myself for this... ....Cause I gave in. I didn't leave and sat on the open bed that was to be mine for the night. Ten minutes later he had turned on the TV to the weather channel and asks "Want to give it another go?" I told him then and there that I was very sensitive and do not want to be 'beaten' by him. I just wanted a spanking with someone I trusted and respected. He agreed and we began again. ...With the same results... He started off at a tempo I liked and made sure he knew I liked it. But then it all went down hill. He started beating me like the proverbial red-headed step-child and at this point, I thought maybe it was just ME. Maybe its MY fault. Perhaps I'm just too sensitive. I dealt with it....again. Then he drags me over to the sink and has be face the mirror while he uses the cane implement (That I brought because it was MY implement) and he starts caning my already VERY sore behind. I tried to laugh it up and told him "Hey, I'm not really into this, lets stop." But he didn't. He just kept going, landing more strokes and telling me to keep my head faced to the mirror so I could look at myself get punished. That tore it for me. I pulled away from him and firmly stated "I. Refuse." Clear, firmly, yet calmly. But what did he do? Lead me right back over to the sink and state "You're not in a position to refuse." So it started up again and I am refusing to cry now, but the tears are running down my face. I felt hurt and betrayed and just....dirty. It did not end there. I was so worn out that when he demanded I sleep in the same bed as him that night, I just obeyed. This man is a monster and if you want to know whom he is to stay safe, HE IS ON THIS SITE. I will provide his Username to ANYONE who asks for it via PM. Now please, dear users...comment below and tell me if I just was too much of a wimp or if I was "demanding too much" from a spanker I trusted. I have been scorned and mishandled so many times by people from this site and FetLife due to my fetish that I am basically done with spanking. I tried being spanked by a good spanko friend I trusted recently and got HORRIBLE flashbacks during it and had to stop them because I just can't remove these terrible encounters from my brain. It was lovely being around like-minded people for these past few years, but I believe I'm finished with spanking. - Curry Edit: This man TRAVELS all over the USA for business. His victim list can't only just have me on it. Edit 2: HUGE Update time.I have gone to the Staff members of this site as a gracious amount of you told me to do both here and in PMs.The member seems to be banned now and I can now feel comfortable releasing his name.He goes by Scouse on this site. He was a very sweet and kind man and I knew him for YEARS and played with him without prior complaints. I would NOT have put myself in such a vulnerable position with him otherwise.
  13. Hello from DFW. I am a mature female looking for over the knee spankings.
  14. Why not offer a list of professional spankers by location. Just for those in between partners of course LOL
  15. I was spanked by father last time when I was nearly 18. Now I go to collegue and I didnt get spanked since I left the house but now I want to get spanked and disciplined by older man.
  16. I was thinking about maybe starting a meetup group to hang out together in SecondLife once a week (or once every other week) in a wonderful spanking club I've found in the game that's empty no matter what time of day I visit it. We could all just hang around, chat, even partake in some virtual spanking fun (there are a LOT of places all over the rooms for spankings in various positions and strengths from pats to butt-blister hard!). Since we live all over the world and it's unlikely we could meet our friends from here in person, I think using Secondlife could be a good compromise on that. Hanging out in real time, plus a lot of spanking opportunities! If there's enough interest (eh, let's say 11 people not including me), I'll work on planning out the first meetup! (If this is in the wrong catagory, just let me know where it needs to be and I'll move it!)
  17. My primary spanker, whose sole source of income until now was spanking her clients, has started a new job. This means she won't be able to spank me on weekdays, and might want weekends to herself. The second isn't as much of a problem as I rarely have a weekend day off. I mostly get spanked to focus on a task, for maintenance, or stress relief, with the rare punishment spanking here and there. As I do like varying the intensity of my spankings, I am considering getting quarterly "punishment" spankings to raise intensity and remind me of the kind of spanking I don't want too often. Getting spanked closer to Saline, MI would also be helpful.
  18. Looking for a master on kik. I send wedgie and spanking videos. Kik: yankeeshawks
  19. Is it possible to have a male spank another male without sexual intimacy and it ONLY be male bonding? I know that is a strange question but I wonder. I crave, need, desire spankings and punishment from other males but have no sexual feelings in it at all. It is all directed towards male bonding and needing that connection with another male. It has nothing to do with sex and I cant even I am sexually excited by it. It is erotic in nature to a degree because of the lack of clothing but the spanking or discipline is my need. Do other guys feel this way? Do you get this connection without sex? It is crazy hard to find guys that are willing to spank me without any sexual favors so I often wonder if it is just me!
  20. I'm just visiting Orlando and it's been a few years since I had an adult spanking. I'm looking for a motherly female spanker... But don't mind if it's a male. I leave tomorrow in the afternoon. I need motivation
  21. Hi, I'm ellg with a 99. I have a name but you knoow, safety and all that jazziness. I'm a very nice and friendly person. I'm all down for chatting and maybe making friends or acquaintances. I can be weird after warming up properly, but not that, "She's a maniac" type of weird. I think maybe I'm more the, "okaaay...?" type of weird. Lol also if we ever have nothing to talk about, I'm just gonna ask questions. It'll be fun for me and hopefully for you too. Enjoy my tags I put up there or wherever they're going to be. They're pretty cool. It was nice half meeting you. I hope we meet again sometime.
  22. Any Spankos who would like to chat/meet, let me know!
  23. I want to study spanking as a phenomenon. In psychology they call it sublimation. I will post several polls, gradually adding more levels to the answers. Thanks
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