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  1. Hi all! I'm a newly active woman on this site. I'm moving a bit north of Greenville in two weeks and would love to meet some fellow spankos. I'm a spankee most of the time but have spanked a few women and would be up to do that again.
  2. Mid 40s cub with boy headspace, curious about spanking environment. Following baseballbutts1 on tumblr, enjoying the scenes. Interested in exploring motivational and/or maintenance spanking from a male my age or older.
  3. This is a guide I wish had existed before I got my first punishment spanking. I was very ignorant, and very terrified! I'm posting it here so I can link to it next time I see one of those "I'm going to get my first spanking--Halp!!" threads. If you want to copy and send it to a new ee or just post it somewhere, please go ahead. You don't have to credit me. So you entered into a power exchange relationship with someone. You agreed on rules and consequences. Maybe you thought those consequences would never come to pass, but here you are. Your top, dom, Daddy, or whoever you answer to has decided that you deserve to be punished, and that punishment has to be a spanking. What do you do now? The answer may have seemed obvious before: you bend over and take your spanking. End of story. But now that you're facing the reality of punishment, you have worries and questions. That's only natural. Everyone who was new to spanking at some point feared and wondered the same things. What's Going To Happen? This is a great question to ask your top. Some disciplinarians have elaborate punishment rituals, while others are much more informal. For the purposes of this article, we're going to assume that you have a wise and benevolent spanker who welcomes communication and wants to help you take your spanking as best you can. They should prepare you for what's going to happen, and let you know what will be expected of you. What's Not Going To Happen? If you expect your disciplinarian to spend a lot of time fussing over you and reassuring you before your first spanking, you're probably going to be disappointed. I'll save you both some time by responding to what are probably your two top concerns: "How much is it going to hurt?" More than you want it to. "But I'm scared!" You should be. If you're so frightened you feel like you're going to vomit or pass out, let your top know, and they'll help you. Spankings should be scary, but they shouldn't be THAT scary. Just be aware that "help" in this context may not be cuddling and reassuring words. It may just be a mercifully prompt beginning to your punishment, so you won't have to wait and fret anymore. Questions To Ask Until you're actually bent over the spanking horse or your disciplinarian's lap getting your butt blistered, you won't know for certain how you'll react. It's best to prepare for possible eventualities by talking to your top beforehand. For example, what happens if you swear? A lot of people instinctively curse when they experience pain. Is your top going to wash your mouth out with soap if you start swearing? Will curse words earn you extra swats? Or will your spanker just laugh? It's worth noting that while some disciplinarians let swearing in general slide, I have never met one yet who tolerates being sworn at. There's a difference between "fuck" and "fuck you," and it would be a good idea to prepare yourself to remember that, even under duress. Another thing to ask is what happens if you move out of position. Are you going to be calmly but firmly reminded to hold still, or is your spanking going to start over from the beginning? Will kicking, squirming, or attempts to block spanks with your hand earn you extra punishment? It's also good to ask for any clarification you may need about your disciplinarian's practices and expectations of you. Are you expected to count strokes aloud? Will you be told in advance how many swats you're going to get, or is not knowing when the spanking will end part of the discipline? What should you do if something goes dramatically wrong, such as your feeling like you're going to be sick, or a spank has landed badly and you feel you're genuinely injured? Your dynamic may require that you accept your punishment without protest, but you should always be welcome to communicate and ask questions--provided you're not just asking questions to stall. Surviving the Wait For some spankees, the anticipation of a spanking is worse than the actual spanking itself. This is particularly likely to be true if this is the first time you've been spanked. Keep in mind that half of what you're fearing is just the unknown. Ask questions and trust your disciplinarian to be sensible and fair, and some of that fear should dissipate. You may be tempted to tell every kinky friend you've got about your impending sentence, in the hopes that talking about it may help reduce the anxiety. And maybe it will. Beware of others' "war stories," however. It is not helpful for someone to say, "Oh, I remember my first spanking! It was soooooo bad . . ." but you might be surprised at how many people will respond in just that way. Remember that dramatic stories make for better telling, and that your friend may be exaggerating for effect. Also keep in mind that they are not you. Just because they received 100 strokes of the cane and 500 with a flogger during their first spanking doesn't mean that you will. Your experience will be your own. Long Waits Some of us live long distances from our disciplinarians, or have other reasons that necessitate a long wait between a punishment's pronouncement and its execution. If you're the anxious type, as I am, this can be very, very hard to take. My advice, as a fellow anxious person, is to do two apparently contradictory things: try not to think about it, and try to make your dread useful. Keeping busy and minimizing the amount of time you stare off into space, letting your thoughts wander, will help keep you from ruminating. I turn on the TV as I fall asleep so I have something benign to think about as I get drowsy. During those times when you can't help but think about your impending punishment, try to work to just accept it. After all, unless you want out of your dynamic altogether, there's no way to avoid it. Take responsibility, admit you deserve to feel bad right now, and resolve to do better in the future. This is easier said than done, but sucking it up and accepting what you have coming will help you become the best version of yourself you can be. Short Waits The day is here, the spanking is coming. It's just not happening quite yet. Maybe your disciplinarian has sent you to your room or to the corner to think about what you did, and what the consequences will be. Practice acceptance, as I mentioned above, but also check in with yourself to make sure you don't get overwhelmed. After all, your top hasn't even touched you yet! Remember to breathe. If you're very anxious, breathe in for a slow count of four, and breathe out for a slow count of six. Focus on your breath, and the sensations in your body. Is your heart hammering? Are your hands sweaty? Those are just signs of anxiety, and while it's unpleasant, anxiety never killed anyone. Focus on your surroundings. Feel your feet in your shoes, your hands at your sides. Even if you're standing in the corner, you can pick a paint speck or bump on the wall to fasten on. Listen to your breathing, and any ambient sounds in the room. Pick a mantra. This can be a short prayer (I sometimes use the Hail Mary), or brief statement of purpose, such as: "I will learn from this, and I will do better next time." There's also the famous passage from Dune, which I like a lot: "I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." These techniques can get you through those last agonizing minutes until the real punishment begins. Taking Your Spanking This is it: the moment you've been dreading. While the spanking lasts and for some while after, you're going to be absolutely miserable. It's okay to hate it. In fact, hating it is the point. Keep in mind though (as far as you can keep anything in mind when your tail is being lit up), that the pain won't last forever. It will fade, and when it does, the slate will be wiped clean. Remember to keep breathing while you're being spanked. It's easy to forget to do this simple thing in the stress of the moment. If the pace of the spanking is slow enough, try to exhale when the swats land, and inhale during the wind-up. If you're getting a fast-paced spanking, just gasp along as best you can. Since you've already asked your disciplinarian what to do in case of an emergency, you know how to respond if you can't get enough air in and you start to feel dizzy. Do your best to hold still. This is a matter of safety as well as self-discipline. There are places on the body that are safe to strike, such as the cushy areas of the bottom and the backs of the thigs, and there are areas that are dangerous to strike, such as over the tailbone or the backs of the testicles. You do NOT want to jerk or squirm at the wrong moment and take a smack somewhere dangerous. If you really cannot hold resonably still, use your emergency signal and ask to be restrained for your own safety. Communicate as best you can. This may only be in the form of body language, or in grunts, cries, or sobs, but let your spanker know what is going on with you. It may seem more dignified or submissive to lie as silent and stoic as a log, but if you do, your disciplinarian may assume they're not getting through to you. (I am assuming that you are a well-intentioned person who is serious about accepting your discipline, and that you will not throw a dramatic fit in the hopes of getting your spanker to stop sooner. This is an ill-advised thing to do. If your top has any experience, they will know what you're trying to pull and respond accordingly. It's literally your ass on the line.) Aftermath And Aftercare Once the spanking is finally over, you may be sent to the corner or some other quiet place to cool down and consider your lesson. This is a chance to re-center yourself, and work out in your mind what you're going to tell your disciplinarian when they ask you for your plan to avoid problem behaviors in the future. Alternatively, your disciplinarian may feel that you've suffered enough, and an immediate expression of care and forgiveness is in order. They may hug you, bring you a warm blanket and a glass of water, or just leave you alone for a while, if that's how you calm down. Aftercare should leave you feeling soothed and as if you've got a fresh start ahead of you. Spanking is an intimate act, and aftercare is the most intimate part of all. Take time to enjoy it. Since you're no longer being punished, your top will probably respond postively to reasonable requests, such as for a tighter hug or a kiss on the forehead. As always, the experience will be more beneficial for you if you communicate your needs. And that will be that. The great thing about spanking as a punishment is that when it's over, it's over. You don't have weeks or months of dull grounding hanging over your head. You can pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and go back to living your life--sorer maybe, but hopefully wiser.
  4. I’m a female in the Cincinnati area in need of a lot of help. I recently turned 18 and I can now start looking for outside help, I am looking for an older male to help me better myself and my life. This is my last resort to try and better my life and I’m really hoping it works out, thank you for any help or interest.
  5. Hello all I'm a19 year old male new to all of this and really looking for someone to discipline me and keep me in line to help me focus on my studies. I live in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina seeking either male or female spankers.
  6. Hello, as you read I’m curious and have serious questions about this lifestyle. I’d thought I’d throw that out their as a disclaimer for anyone reading this just in case since my questions are many lol.
  7. 20 year old male looking to be spanked, I am new to this but I know I want a good spanking done to me before I say no to it. If anyone near the area would like to do it I'd appreciate if you did. This can be a one time thing or if we get along and everything's right maybe become a relationship of some kind. :3
  8. Hi I'm an 18 year old boy from New York and I just joined here. I have been interested in spankings for awhile but I have never actually been spanked. I still live st home but my parents do not believe in spanking so I never was spanked. I would love to talk to someone and maybe finally receive my first spanking!
  9. Hi There my name is Chris, I been into spanking ever since my childhood as I could remember. I am a switch, I can be the spanker at times or the Spankee as well. A good spanking over someone knee having your bare bottom red and sore, makes me feel good at times and release a lot of stress in my life. I hope to chat with others as well with the same interest. Thank You! Chris
  10. Hi,28 southern pa lady , spankee interested in TIHrelationships
  11. New sub looking to be spanked I'm 20 years old, male and mostly submissive. I'm looking for my first spanking to see if this is for me. Would love a partner but a punisher may still work to see if I'd still look up to someone that brought me to tears. I have really no experience in this so I am really more looking for a mentor, would love to meet someone please and thank you.
  12. 20 year old male seeking a dominant spanker. Here's hoping I find someone. 5'7 Bit chubby Hispanic Will do my best for you.
  13. Hey everyone Pretty new to all of this but thought I'd give it a go. I'm a (new) spankee that's open to online play and relationships. Looking to follow orders and be a good girl
  14. Hi new to spankings I'm 19 years old male would like to be spanked to see if I'm as into it as I think can be male or female I'll try to be on my best behavior for you.
  15. Newbie spankee 19 male. Just seeing if anyone is near me. Hi all.
  16. Newbie spankee 19 male. Just seeing if anyone is near me. Hi all.
  17. Hello! As so the title reads, I'm 22, female, and from southern NB Canada. I'm also a spankee. Joining here to discover new information and chat to likeminded people. Right now I've been mildly spanked by previous partners, but thus they just didn't serve what I needed. I need spanking in my life as a deterrent but as well as for pleasure. Never tried to have an actual disciplinarian or anyone who knows about the spanking world spank me. Wouls love to.give that a go if anyone is in the area.
  18. So, I'm seeing a guy that's quite a bit older than me ... He's into all sorts of kinky stuff one of them being spanking/whipping. He says I 'need' it as well as him needing to do it ... That I 'deserve' it and he only wants to do it because he loves me ... Also that I need the release as much as him. We have a healthy sexual relationship and he treats me well.. I just don't understand why I 'need' to be punished when I've 'done' nothing wrong .. I'm all for trying it but it's going to hurt like hell!! Any tips on first time spanking?
  19. MKelly

    New Here

    Hello everyone! I am brand new to this site and new to the "spanking community" as a whole. I'm extremely nervous, for I've never done anything like this. But my curiosities finally got the best of me and I just hope to meet others with the similar tastes as me. I just really want a good spanking. Nothing sexual, nothing too severe, I just want to make my first step into accepting this hidden part of my life. I am in the DFW area of Texas. I am a young female. I don't really know what it is about me, I have just always had the desire to get spanked, though have not received one since I was a small child. I want the discipline edge, I feel it is something that I almost need. Hopefully that is normal I am just open for advice on how to become an active user on this site as well as explore these hidden desires of spanking! Thanks!
  20. Guest

    Hi - I'm new here

    Hi Spanking Needs Forum! I just now signed up and I am looking forward to chatting online and possibly meeting others in the adult to adult mentoring/therapy/discipline spanking community. I am a man who is 55 years old and I live in the Midwestern USA. I have had a fair amount of experiances with spanking pretty much my whole life. It started in school where traditional cp was the norm. Later in life I discovered the erotic side of cp and this has been with me for a long time now. Having read much about cp on the web I not to long ago found out about therapy spanking and mentoring my interest in cp seems to be heading very much in that direction. Thanks! Red
  21. I've been denying this fascination of mine for at least 5 years. But now that I'm finally of legal age, I've decided to finally be honest with myself. I...I think I really, really want someone to spank me. Just the thought of being bent over and having my bottom smacked is tantalizing. So is watching it happen to others- I even find myself slightly aroused by the prospect. Again, I've only just 'come out' and only online. So anything hardcore would be too much for me to handle. And besides, I'm not the biggest fan of pain. Maybe for now, online roleplay spanking is the best option. But I do somehow want to experience it. Even if it's just pretend...
  22. Hi . I am a 22 year old female college student from India. I guess I have always been fascinated by spanking since childhood though my parents never spanked. I am hoping to meet a mentor who can help guide me and at the same time be my friend. I am open to both face to face (though I doubt I'll have any luck there based on my location ) and online mentoring . Looking forward to interacting with you all !!!
  23. Hey, everyone! I'm new to this site, but I'd love to get to know some of you and stuff. I cannot meet up anywhere to spank, but I can send punishments through email for you to self-spank if you want. (How lame, lol). I tend to only talk with women about this, but I'm interested in what the guys have to say too. Either way, hi everyone! If you wanna talk about spanking here or want to email me sometime then just ask!
  24. JackC22

    New Guy

    Hello everyone my name is Jack. I'm a 22 year old male looking into becoming a experienced disciplinarian/friend. I've learned that the people you discipline must see you as a person of trust and understanding. Not just as the spanker. For the past 2 years I been thinking about doing this, but kept it to myself. Now finally I move past that phase and joined up on sites like this. Hopefully here I can meet both spankers and spankees to become friends with and hopefully meet. I never disciplined anyone before so maybe that will change here. -Jack
  25. JackC22

    New Guy

    Hello everyone my name is Jack. I'm a 22 year old male looking into becoming a experienced disciplinarian/friend. I've learned that the people you discipline must see you as a person of trust and understanding. Not just the spanker. For the past 2 years I been thinking about doing this, but kept it to myself. Now finally I move past that phase and joined up on sites like this. Hopefully here I can meet both spankers and spankees to become friends with and hopefully meet. I never disciplined anyone before so maybe that will change here. -Jack
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