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Ok I have not seen this addressed before but it's me and I'm curious about others interpretations and experiences. So my girlfriend and I practice the HOH. She is very submissive to me in all things outside the bedroom. She sets her goals and is punished if she doesn't reach those goals and she thrives in that situation. Knowing I expect her to accomplish things gives her the boost she needs, much more than just doing things such as cleaning and exercising because they need done. So that's the normal part. But I also need spanking for stress relief and motivation. She notices when I do and does take control and deliver, but only in the privacy of the bedroom. My question is how to transition from being in total control to submitting for my own good. I have toyed with the idea of a specific set night being her time to be in charge. All thoughts welcome.
How to spank a submissive to teach proper discipline in a loving manner. This is what I follow to discipline my loving wife. Number 1: CONSENSUAL, it must be consensual. There is absolutely no alternative whatsoever. No consent means no consent, do not pressurize her to submit to you if she doesn't want to. Situation: She lied that she finished her share of the chores but actually goofed around. You had warned her of strict consequences earlier. Ideally what should you do? #Calm down first. NEVER scold or spank when you are not calm. 1. Make her stand between your legs while you sit on the couch. 2. Give her a scolding and explain to her why lying to you is wrong. Make sure she feels remorseful for defying your authority. My wife starts crying when I scold her, and she is remorseful. 3. Bare her bum (no clothes below waist) and send her to the corner (holding her ears) so she can ponder over her bad girl behavior. 4. Once she has served sufficient corner time (10 to 40 minutes, your wish) call her to the spanking chair. 5. Tell her that you love her and you will help her become the well disciplined wife she wants to become. 6. Take her over your knee and rub her bum for a minute and compose your thoughts for her scolding. 7. Start with a sound hand spanking for 5-6 minutes and keep lecturing her. Continue till she is crying out of guilt and not pain. Be mindful you do not bruise her OR break her limits OR make her bleed. You are her head and she is your submissive, so you are responsible to keep her safe, healthy, disciplined and MOST IMPORTANTLY loved+happy. If you abuse her, you deserve to be thrown into jail. 8. Make her get up and bring a hair brush/ wooden spatula/ switch/ paddle. If needed, take her to the bathroom for a mouth washing with soap. 9. Give her an appropriate number of strokes of the implement depending on her pain tolerance, the offense, condition of her bum, her guilt level. 10. Make her count and repeat a line on what she did wrong. 11. After finishing the spanking, tell her what will happen if she repeats this mistake and give her a follow through punishment like bedtime spankings, lines, grounding, diaper punishment etc. 12. Hug her, cuddle with her, tell her she is forgiven, tell her you love her, tell her she is safe. Give her proper aftercare and keep talking to her. Let her cry on your shoulder/chest. My wife cries in my chest/shoulder for 10 minutes AFTER the spanking is over and I hug her and talk to her in a voice one uses to talk to little kids. That calms her down, find what calms your sub and properly make them feel better. - Try not to have sex that night.. Since she behaved like a bad girl earlier, she loses the privilege of sex. Do something platonic but close with her. I lay her down over me and we read a story together, any novel and she falls asleep on me, which is SUPER CUTE. THis is our every night routine, not only punishment night routine. - Keep giving her small, non-painful maintenance spankings [light hand smacks for 4-5 minutes] every 4-5 days. It will help her feel better (if she consents to it obviously) and act as a therapy. - Give her lots of kisses on platonic areas like forehead, cheek etc. - Be consistent. Consensually create boundaries for her in general life to safely explore and enjoy in and define consequences for breaking the boundaries. Consistently follow through so that she feels safe around you. End quote: If your Sub feels safe around you, loves you, knows you love her, knows you will support her, knows you will keep you safe, knows you will discipline her when needed and knows you will keep her happy and her best interests, YOU ARE A PERFECT DOM. I try to be my wife's perfect Dom, for she is my soulmate and my perfect Sub. In a loving relationship with a beautiful submissive lady for 2-3 years.