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1 CORINTHIANS 13:4-8 I guess the easiest way to start this off would be to define what love is - our whole universe and way of thinking depends on it. A child who does not develop and keep a secure attachment by 12 months will be adversely affected for the rest of their lives with Attachment Disorder, it can also slow the progress of the brain developing so these children often have Learning Difficulties as well as at times physical developmental delays. Its a little like both the wind and the Holy Spirit; we can't see it, can't hear it but we feel it and see the effects. It is something we cannot control, something we crave, something we need and something we strive for. So how does such an integral part of human existence compare with a lifestyle of dominance and submission, leadership and obedience and couples with defined roles? 1) Love is patient. I guess in any form of relationship, whether that be parent/child, romantic, friendships, professional or mentorships, we live by a certain 'give and take' custom. Patience in it's simplest form is using tolerance to pick your battles without becoming frustrated and anxious, compromising. I have struggled a little where this comes in with a CDD relationship as the HOH can just spank when she annoys him right? When she's out of line or breaks a rule - she gets her tuppence and he can take this out on her butt and vwala....but how does this work the other way around? What happens when he is in the wrong, when he is rude, arrogant, undermining, unfair or just an ass? However this is in no way the point of CDD in any form, this is how many vanilla people looking through the peephole see it, but really it's so much more. I feel that the man has to use so much more patience and tolerance as he knows he can give consequences but is tied by his responsobility to be honorable, fair, and use it as discipline to stop the behaviour repeating itself as opposed to revenge or relieving his great annoyance. How much more responsibility goes into this, how much more self discipline when the only accountability is himself? Patience therefore in any DD relationship is central to the working of the relationship. Tolerance of each others personality and quirks yet building each others strengths. The man has a responsibility to use this patience to discipline in the right manner and the woman the responsibility to help him work through his faults. 2) Love is Kind. Kindness is something we all learn by being loved, by watching those around us. In our early years we learn to be generous by sharing our toys and later food, we learn to be friendly in nursery and school - figuring out how to make friends and what is and is not acceptable friendliness. Later in life we learn to be considerate of others and develop a sense of humanity. 3) Love does not envy, jealousy and envy are often confused, see God is a jealous God but not an envious one. Jealousy is being protective of what you have (we're Gods creation and he doesn't want to lose us; envious non the other hand is always looking at other people and wanting what they have. Jealousy is in healthy to a certain extend very healthy, we do naturally want to protect what is ours. Jealousy in a relationship contains 3 parties, the third unwanted party can be a person, idea or thing. Love does not envy though, it is not the green eyed monster never contended with his lot. Envy is always looking for that green grass, yet the grass is green where it is watered. We need to be jealous over our relationship and not let envy become that third party, we need to protect and nurture what we have, learn to truly love it and cherish it. 4) Love does not boast. There is a real key difference between being boastful and being confident. Being confident is God's treasure in our successes. We are able to look at our work, ourselves, our achievements and celebrate them aside from what anyone else does. We are not threatened by the successes of others, our successes are able to stand on their own. This is especially important in DD, as we want to build each other up, enhance each others achievements, celebrate with them without being threatened by them. Boastful on the other hand is needing to be the best, having so much pride in our work that we don't want anyone else coming out on top. That in any form of relationship is unhealthy, but in one where one party is more in control of the environment, it can turn ugly quickly. We need to watch ourselves and where our mind takes us with our achievements, are we building others up or tearing them down? 5) Love is not proud. My mom always used to say to me 'pride comes before the fall, and the higher you are the longer you'll fall'. I always struggled with this concept a lot and always felt so bitter that she was belittling my accomplishments. It is a saying that really wrecked my confidence. Pride is a really good emotion in small doses, we should feel satisfied with what we have, what we've done, who we are and who we are with...this becomes negative when that pride is a selfish endeavour. Pride in the right context is having self-respect, but can become more like boastfulness as well. 6) Love does not dishonour others. Honour is respect, a central part of the DD life, it even makes up one of the 4 D's. We may not like decisions that are made, people we come across, people in our lives or at times ourselves, yet because we are loving beings we are already bound by the laws of LOVE, which may be brotherly, friendly, parental or romantic love, but love is love. 7) Love is not self seeking. DD is just not a lifestyle where ourself comes first, both parties put the others needs before their own - thats just how it naturally works. When one becomes self seeking the whole structure fails from the ground up, we cannot be looking after our own wants, needs, welfare and interests before the other. When the man does this it borders on abuse as discipline is first and foremost to release guilt, deter behaviours and teach respect; when it becomes about anger, revenge or even just without any consideration for her, it becomes a one way street to hurt and failure. When she just thinks of her own needs, wants and creates a character to achieve her own way, she is draining his abilities, emotions and needs for her own pleasure. She is creating a toxic environment that will eventually suffocate in selfishness. We need to be building up each other, caring for ourselves so we can care for others. 8) Love is not easily angered. The difference between abuse and discipline is often quite simply how it is done. IE - done in anger for revenge or to release frustration = abuse, done in complete calm, stable frame of mind and to release guilt and deter behaviour = discipline. When we truly love someone we try so much harder to watch our words and actions around them, we are more tolerant and are not led by emotions. From my own experience as a child I do struggle more with emotions, and I do lose my cool, however I know that this is a problem and is something that I try to contain or find other means of expelling it, I am not content with it and realise how it affects others. 9) Love keeps no record of wrongs. This is one area where any DD relationship just trumps Vanilla completely. Most are drawn to this life as they feel that need for accountability in their life. Accountability is also the thing that brings on discipline in many forms, but once this is complete we feel a sense of relinquishment of guilt and we know the record has been scratched. We are able to move on knowing our man has punished us and moved on. By experience I know that in a vanilla relationship (parental and romantic) when issues aren't dealt with they are regurgitated over and over, used to guilt trip and manipulate; really not a healthy way of living - but this isn't God's way, He wants us to find freedom. 10) Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth. In short, we are not to set our parter up to fail, we do not create temptation that causes them to do wrong. We rejoice with them when they succeed, building them up not pulling them down. 11) Love always Protects. I mean, another one of the basis for DD right? We are in this to protect each other, in different means and forms - but protect all the same. The 4 D's fall into this really well (read other blog post), Disobedience, Dishonesty, Dangerous behaviour, Disrespect...they are all around remaining safe, maintaining ourselves and building up a better person. Though the man isn't generally spanked in a CDD relationship he still follows the D's and leads by example. 12) Love always trusts. Trust is a HUGE concept and something that I massively struggle with. There are so many aspects of this relationship where the breaking of trust would just be so detrimental to it. I cannot list them all as we'd all be here all day, but the two that stand out to me personally are as follows. I have never understood the concept of pushing limits, I figure that if I get spanked it's because of my behaviour, I need a man that will spank me to a point where he knows the message has been taken in, the guilt has gone and the repeat of behaviour is deterred. If he doesn't know where to stop without me needing to use a safeword, I do not trust him to have me in an incredibly vulnerable position, physically and emotionally. The man needs to have a sense of trust that his woman will own up to her actions without him needing to seek everytime. He cannot be there watching her 24/7 so she needs to trust him enough to tell him both her successes and failures, knowing that he will only react in her best interest and that she has only enhanced his trust in her through being completely honest - and trustworthy. In this lifestyle, we do live in secrecy. I know in my own case, certain people finding out would literally ruin me,,,,and the career path I have chosen, as people living on the outside just don't get our way of life, they see it as a form of abuse. We therefore need to be trustworthy with our words, actions and not acting out in revenge or anger. Love always hopes, Love always perseveres. We don't give up at the first struggle, we learn to love, learn to be with each other, learn to nurture each others qualities and we water the grass where we are not always looking over the bridge. LOVE NEVER FAILS

I’m helping my husband get rules organized and he wants to do maintenance spanking. How should those go how many swats how long what tools how often. Anything will help.

Hi, Christian DD folks, I am a Christian spanko, a switch. I know I want Domestic Discipline in my next relationship, and see myself more as the spankee now. I would love to meet a Christian Disciplinary Wives Club (DWC) type. Thanks for listening ... tony

A few poems I wrote: Divine My desire to endure, something most fear. Punishment spanking, a sore blistered rear. An addiction to discipline, I am enslaved. The more I'll regret it, the stronger I crave. Because the less I enjoy it, the more you do. A comforting thought, because you want to. The only reason I need, if this pleases you. However if you ask me, I'll probably deny. Confessing to something, or make up a lie. It's something I love, that look in your eye. When spanking me to tears, making me cry. So please punish me, and don't ask me why. Yearning for discipline, but not for my sake. I can't give you this love, it's yours to take. I love the idea, of being bound to this fate. Fuelling my fantasy, for the reality i'll hate. I'll probably fight it, my resistance not fake. As I'm trying to stop it, you'll say it's to late. Expressing your passion, by giving me pain. The more that it hurts, the more that I'll gain. No fault, no guilt, no accountability, or blame. No justification or excuses, this sounds insane. Your conscience set free, unafflicted by shame. Joy cloaked in suffering, anguish, and disdain. Understanding pure love is a concept we dwell. To paint the heavens, you must first contrast hell. Search what your feeling, but never say it aloud. Let it rest in your mind, so you'll remain proud. Deriving ecstasy, from agony, my fantasy defined. You know what I'm saying, as you are not blind. A way through my words, the path you must find. By reading into my heart, and ignoring your mind. Something sadistic, or perhaps something divine? Warrior A cure for the hurt, a lesson I could teach. Something you want, you must look deep. Don't be afraid, it doesn't make you weak. Deceiving yourself, from a truth I can see. I could make it all stop, you could be free. All that I ask, is put your faith within me. I'll spank your bare bottom, over my knee. Ecstasy from agony, the feeling there of. Ultimate bliss, when spanked out of love. It will only stop, once you give up control. Trust my words, I'll catch you, just let go. My devotion, the kind you'll never doubt. With every firm swat, you'll begin to pout. Held securely in place, you squirm about. A pain in your bottom you'll need to feel. It's the only way, you'll know it's for real. This I will promise, your heart shall heal. Forging a warrior to conquer your fears. Mending your scars, collected for years. A Cleansing of pain, from contrite tears. Innocent again, the conscience it clears. If you forget this, or ever question why. Just think of the reason I made you cry. Rid yourself of what had you enslaved. As any warrior should always be brave. You're worthy, and deserve to be saved. It's a painful lesson, but one you'll adore. A sore bottom, to free your heart to soar. Contrite Any reason, not allowed to ask why! If I don't deserve it, then fabricate a lie! Spank me even harder, if I start to cry! Pull down my pants my underwear too! Bare bottom, an embarrassing view! Bent over your knee, Punished by you! Please make me hate it, a regret so true. Hold me down, until the tears they flow! I'll beg, struggle, and cry, just don't let go! I should not want this, because it's taboo. I need punishment, discipline seen through. I can not let go, thoughts plague my mind. Consumed with guilt, as if it were a crime. Just another reason for a paddled behind. This is a craving I fight, at least once a day. Then feeling ashamed, like this is not okay. Told it's not a game or a toy I should play. Without a method, that will chase it away. Fighting fire with fire just to keep it at bay. Spanked till I regret it, despite what I say! Crying and sobbing, my bottom will pay. Trying to fight it, being punished anyway. Like a little brat, who is forced to obey! A spanking for discipline this my fantasy. I'm addicted to the affliction all the irony, Yearning to regret the punishment reality. A single thought, of my ass getting beat. I've provoked you, to obtain what I seek. Threatening I'll be sorry, I secretly adore. I reply with sass, what you got in store? You won't sit for a week, you'll be sore. That all you got? I was hoping for more. Just like a brat, I cut sarcastically loose. Watering this tree, attached to my noose. Yearning for a lesson, inflicted with pain. Out comes the craving here we go again. Making your effort feel, seem spent in vain. Until I'm spanked again, the desire defeat. The spanko cycle wash, rinse and repeat. Domestic Discipline, a mask helps me deny. Just bury the truth, to embrace my own lie. To punish a masochist with sadistic supply. Just like an alcoholic I'm starting to think. After a long night spent puking in the sink. The cure for a hangover, is a another drink. I know spanking will never help me behave. But I love this lifestyle, and all that it's gave. So an addict I'll stay, despite what is right. I lost to my passion, I surrender the fight. So give me a spanking, until I'm contrite. Spanko Spanking, that's my addiction. Discipline, not playful fiction. Exceed my fantasy's depiction. Painful swats, rapid infliction. Given from a solid conviction. I won't enjoy it, I'm well aware. Being punished, because you care. Without a warm up, and on the bare. From a desire within, you must share. Affection from correction, love so rare. Accountability I've longed to fulfil. With consent, but against my will. Flaying around, I just can't hold still. Make me regret it, don't stop until. Tears fill my eyes, and start to spill. For my own good, you must insist. Despite how I struggle, and resist. Forced to endure, you must persist. What I need, not want, get the jist? Like a long ago, something I missed. Code of the brat Nice try little one, I know your game. To earn not ask, I can't say I blame. The feeling you get, the desire you crave. When put in your place, and told to behave. When I said young lady, you're never to old. Do you want a spanking? I ask you so bold. Your heart beats faster, with every firm scold. You're gonna get it, better do as you're told! The look on your face, your cheeks flushed. Every time I threaten to make that tush blush. You remember that time I called you a brat? I said be good, giving your bottom a smack. That tone in my voice, authority you adore. Saying you hate it, but secretly want more. Poke and provoke, for a spanking you yearn. I know you deserve it, the only way you learn. Try to tempt me, but you'll never say why. We both know the reason, you can't deny. A dangerous game, but fate you will flirt.. Trying to get spanked, think it will work? I'm not a brat, you said with a smirk. I think you're jealous, a big mean jerk. I unclasp my buckle, this will be felt. You cry I'll be good, please not the belt. I'm kidding, with a playful swat and a lesson. I know what you want, no need for confession. You wanted a spanking, without all the pain. It's the code of the brat, don't be ashamed. Go ahead, with your fate you will flirt. Music to my ears hearing, "That didn't hurt." 3rd times a charm Part 1 You will learn, tough love is true. I'll guide you, You'll make it through. It was only a mistake, It doesn't make you bad. Don't be afraid, no need to be sad. Change that tone, don't pretend to pout. I'll give you something, to cry about. Bare your bottom, bend over my knee. You're never to old, soon You'll see. Hold still, I know it hurts. Sorry dear, that's how it works. Regardless of, the tantrum you throw. I'm going to set, your cheeks aglow. I assure you though, as you kick and cry. You'll never question, my reason why. You disobeyed, claiming innocent pranking. That's the reason, you're getting this spanking. You're fanny will throb, my hand will be felt. This happens again, I'll use by belt. Your backside blistered, sore in the saddle. Thankful I'm sure, it wasn't the paddle. Now my dear, your punishment is done. I warned you, it wouldn't be fun. Into my arms, accept my embrace. Wiping those tears, I'll make you feel safe. It's OK sweetheart, no need to be blue. This hurt me, more then it did you. Kneel in the corner, think about reflection. Don't rub your bottom, spanked to perfection. So sore and sorry, with a rosy complexion. This was a taste, of my heart's affection. Part 2 I spanked you once, you didn't learn your lesson. This time you'll get, a more painful session. You should have listened, to the words I said. Pull down your pants, lay over the bed. Don't argue with me, Underwear too. Get in position, bare bottom in view. I unclasp my buckle, fear in your eyes. With behaviour like this, is it any surprise? You broke the rules, your bottom will pay. Before I start, Anything to say? No warm up for you, feel every welt. You cry and you plead, no not the belt! I whip your tush, with a mighty force. Certain this time, you'll feel remorse. With pain in your voice, you promise to be good. I continue to spank, as hard as I could. Each lash falls, with rapid progression. However I know, your spanking obsession. Squirming and screaming, I know you're in pain. With contrite tears, I feel your disdain. flailing all around, questioning your submission. Ten more to go, back in position. Do as you're told, or I'll hold you down. You comply yes sir, your only sound. You lay there sobbing, bottom black and blue. The punishment is over, the spanking is through. If this happens again, despite all your babble, I'll blister your butt, full force with my paddle. I comfort you kindly, it was hard to take. I assure you my dear, it was all for your sake. I kiss your forehead, I'm proud of you Hun. It's all in the past, everything you've done. I forgive you, and wipe your slate clean. I love you my dear, with a passion serene. Part 3 With a smirk on your face, you said with a laugh. Please paddle me now, blister my ass. I asked you what for, you grinned and you giggled. Do you deserve it? You said just a little. You looked in my eyes, smiled and thanked me. To embarrassed to say it, you replied just spank me. If you must know, I will not lie. I crave a punishment, I want to cry. You threatened the paddle, I wanted to know. How much it hurts, what kind of marks will show. I don't know why, you think this is funny. You won't be laughing, sleeping on your tummy. After this spanking, I doubt you will sit. Fetch me the paddle, bend over and bare it. As you comply, with confidence so bright. Your bottom exposed, a canvas so white. I give the first swat, as hard as I can. You let out a scream, struggling to stand. You say you cant take it, as if given a choice. Tears in your eyes, pain in your voice. A punishment you crave, and it will be felt. I warned you, it was worse then the belt. One down, nine more to go. Do you want them fast or slow? You'll take it all despite the tantrum you throw. Each painful swat, as hard as the last. Stopping halfway, you let out a gasp. Crying for mercy, you beg and you plead. Your bottom blistered, a punishment indeed. I give the last five, in rapid succession. Your face flowing tears, regretting your confession. You fall to the floor, grasping your rear. Unable to speak, but you wanted severe. You cry and you sob, amidst all the babble. I hear never again, please not the paddle. After an hour, of comforting embrace. You crossed your threshold, entering subspace. You thanked me, for staying true to my word, Your crying and pleading totally unheard. I had to know, for my own sake. Thank you for giving me what I couldn't take. Brating The Hand does not scare me, at least not a lot. Try changing my mind with everything you've got! The Spoon might sting, but I think I'm immune. Unless given a reason, this I'll assume! The Hairbrush A classic for over your knee. Fast and hard, don't you agree? The Switch is a bitch, welts on the butt. Just don't make me find one to cut! The Cord intimidating, but you'll get bored. Taking a chance a risk I'll afford! The Crop A joke of course. It may work on a horse! The Belt I love, but will not be felt. I won't make a sound, not even a yelp! The Strap burns with every last slap. Think I'll regret it, as it goes thwack? The Birch sucks, but I can take it. Applied firmly but I can fake it! The Cane will be hell, pure pain. Mocking them, with nothing to gain! The Paddle I fear my ass is toast. I dare you, my bottom to roast! Will it hurt, or will I laugh? How long will my attitude last. Holding on, with backtalk and sass. You're just a giant pain in my ass! Teach me a lesson, I have just asked A hard spanking please give me that. I know I deserve it for I am a brat. My Quirk My secret has kept me alone, finding it hard to atone, I wrote you this poem. Embarrassed I blush, this my confession , afraid of rejection for my obsession. I have an idea, I want it to work, please open your mind, to my little quirk. I promise I don't mean to annoy, but being playfully naughty, brings me joy. It's my way of saying I need a firm hand, don't run away, please understand. I'll tempt you, perhaps even brat, my desire for discipline, and not just a smack. I need to be spanked, no not for fun, but to be absolved, of things I have done. Try it out the only way you'll see, pull down my pants, bend me over your knee. Affection from your correction, a bare bottom spanking, and a crimson complexion! Don't stop until I regret it, a punishment is painful, but In the end, I will be grateful. Make your impression, teach me a lesson, feeling like a child, a state of regression. Regardless of the reason, tears are a must, sometimes beyond to ensure it's enough. Despite how I whine, complain, or fuss, It's your call, and your judgement I trust. I know I deserve it, if you bruise my cheeks, or if you decide I won't sit for a week. Please I need this! it's not cause I'm bad, I haven't been naughty, and no I'm not sad. It's the gift of discipline the feeling thereof, administered firmly, when spanked out of love. Soar Sometimes I confess, or even get caught, Perhaps at times, it's intentionally sought. Healing from your discipline, pain I adore, A firm hand spanking, I'm welcoming more. Absolute innocence, childlike and serene, A fresh start, having my slate wiped clean. It's perfect to express, how much you care. Bent over your knee, while my bottom is bare. I'm crying when it's over, my bottom's so sore. My guilt washed away, and my heart will soar! Domestic Discipline My faults I honestly admitted. To a firm hand, I've submitted. Chastisement is firmly inflicted. Spanked to tears, then uplifted. From a tough love, being gifted. The accountability it has shifted. Guilt free, I'm no longer afflicted. A weight off my chest was lifted. Innocence restored, unrestricted. Domestic Discipline, I'm addicted addiction Let's talk about addiction, I feel the need. Thoughts of getting high, planted the seed. Easy there buddy, put away the weed. Something much stronger is what I need. I'm not talking heroin, coke, or even speed. A type of ecstasy, not found in a pill. This kind of euphoria, gives greater thrills. Granting a surge of adrilyn, endorphin filled. Just one dose you'll be hooked you will. You'll feel the power rush through your veins. This is the strongest stuff, it hits like a train. Starting to crave it now, despite all the pain. It's non toxic and won't fry your brain. They don't understand, I feel so ashamed. It's my problem I'm the only one to blame. Like a gambler, betting my ass on the game. Odds stacked against me I'm raising the stakes. To late to ask myself, was it a mistake? You can't fight it, not even the strongest. It's purest form given to children the longest. A full blown junkie, I got hooked as a child. Like a bus full of hippies far out and wild. No rehab in sight, no catchy slogan. No recovery not even a 12 step token. So, I'll give in and take one more hit. I'm only kidding myself, thinking I'll quit. The rush is so great best you can find. You don't snort, shoot or smoke, not even a line. It leaves you sore, bruised, with marks left behind. It will make you cry, but this is just fine. A fix from your discipline. the feeling thereof. Unparalleled euphoria, being chastised with love. It won't stunt your growth, but might help you learn. You won't be tripping, but will feel the burn. The more it hurts, the greater the yearn. I'm powerless to this, I'll indulge my desire. Forget the cigarette, and light my ass on fire. A bare bottom blistering, like caffeine I'm wired. Being spanked to tears, then given a hug. Helping me overdose, on my kind of drug. feeling loved, cherished and able to cope. Domestic Discipline is the strongest dope.. My favourite dealer, I should probably be thanking, If they ever stop talking and give me that spanking. Your Affection from correction. My addiction to infliction. Secret The concept of discipline, amusing in thought. Do you think you'll enjoy it? No, I think not. You want a spanking, despite what you say. Don't try to deny it, you've been busted okay. Daydreaming, thinking how much it will hurt. Empowering the desire, your passion at work. Envisioning your bottom, sore and throbbing. Being sent to the corner crying and sobbing. Know why the fantasy has so much appeal? For the same reason, the pain you must feel. This is what you're craving, don't even lie. I'll make you sorry, I think you know why. Thinking of being spanked, until you cry. Until it's happening, you'll scream oh my. You're in trouble, and going to be spanked. Bare bottom, over my knee firmly yanked. You protest aloud, but I'm silently thanked. I'm going to spank you just like you crave. Like when you were young and disobeyed. Because I want to, and make you behave. The dream you have, that spanking is fun. Awake to your nightmare, what have I done. Time for your spanking, that's enough chat. Don't try to stall young lady, get over my lap. It will teach you a lesson, for this I am sure. By getting a spanking you can hardly endure. Do you know how I guessed all this is true? I also love spanking, little brats just like you. With commanding authority, behind my voice. You feel like a little girl, not given a choice. After your spanking, you'll be unable to sit. I'll make you a promise, you won't enjoy it. Begging and pleading, you'll throw a fit. You'll remember this, as a memory saved. Then want it again, despite what I gave. It's time to let go, just give up control. Now say yes sir, I deserve it, I know. Affection from correction A mistake, just a simple transgression. I'm going to teach you a valuable lesson. Given from tough love, never aggression. Innocent again, through age regression. The discipline helps make an impression. Allowing my firm hand to help me instil. Hearts half empty, are needing refilled. I've promised you, I will never be mad. Neither do I think this makes you bad. It's going to be ok, please don't be sad. First this will sting, then you'll be glad. When we're finished and I get thanked. Now then you're going to be spanked. Your pants down I had firmly yanked. Your Bare bottom bent over my knee. On your best behaviour soon you'll be. Loving discipline helps you see. My devotion you'll never doubt. With the first swat you begin to pout. Firmly held but you'll squirm about. Helping you defeat the biggest fear. Washing away with contrite tears. Absolving you, from all your guilt. spanked till your crying then rebuilt. A pain in your bottom you will feel. Guiding the way the heart can heal. it's for your own good, do you hear? A reflection of my love for you dear. Accountability to clear your head. It will hurt, but it's nothing to dread. Your tush will burn all sore and red. You make me proud I always said. Getting cuddled then sent to bed. I Love you, kissing your forehead. Addiction to the affliction A desire for the deterrent something I crave! I'm going to regret it, when not feeling brave! Begging for it to stop, my ass can't be saved! Defeating the masochist's threshold enslaved! The only way to ensure that a spanko behave! To be effective, it is harder then I can take! Not something I want, but for my own sake! Struggling and screaming, agony I can't fake! First my composure, and then my pride break! Trading my illusion for a reality, I'll truly hate! Punishment defined, is beyond consent! Being forced to endure, made to repent! A proper punishment beyond permission! Mandatory infliction, without submission! A Fear of the consequence, with conviction! Bound and restrained, not given a choice! muffled, and gagged, to silence my voice! It should sink in being the one that I fear! Being unable to sit, a black and blue rear! Anticipating my agony, as time draws near! Authentic correction, behavior modification! Like a Singapore caning, inflected devastation! No safeword, warm up, or mercy, no imitation! Delivered hard as you can, without hesitation! Punishment you can't control, forced humiliation! The lesson begins after the tears start falling! Unaffected by any of my crying and sobbing! Exceed my pain tolerance, relentless bawling! A sore ass bruised welted, raw and blistered! I am forced to accept it, whatever delivered!

It has been my experience that we have many spankos who are not ready or not looking for commitment. And they know it. If these so called "sceners" happen to contact you, you might tell them that you are looking for a real mentoring relationship or romance. Some sceners will respond, "Me too." When actually, they view spanking more in terms of "being in the scene" rather than spanking as domestic discipline. They are thinking more about just getting/giving a spanking, not about getting involved with any one person. I feel that sceners should be more upfront with others regarding thier view of spanking. If you are not ready to get involved with any one person, just let others know right away. Thereis nothing wrong with scening, or having different partners. But it is wrong to lead someone on when you know darn well that you arent ready for anything serious. If you are looking for something more serious, be on the lookout for these "Me too'ers". Just a word to the newbie who might be looking for something more than just a spanking.

Im married and my wife and I have been practicing DD for two years now. It works really well for us and has improved our marriage tremendously. For us DD is strictly discipline and there is no sexual kink connected with practicing DD. Im hoping to find more likeminded people who are also in committed DD relationships

Hello. I'm Jennifer. I am in a DD relationship with Redandmore. We joined SN in May. We absolutely LOVE this community! Red believes I am ignoring his Lectures and He wants me to remedy this situation NOW! I do admit to ignoring Him frequently. I have been tasked to ask SN members - Spankers in DD relationships or Spankers in General - if they would be willing to help provide me with motivation to behave better through Lecture emails and and be included in His "Lecturer's List". Please help me complete this task. Part of my DD corrections are to have two accountability pictures posted on SN after I am disciplined - to help me focus on how my attitudes and behavior affect others. Red did a posting earlier after we joined. It was very humiliating yet effective! I am now required to answer at least three Lectures emails before my accountability pics are deleted by Red. These emails may also include questions and comments. Red also asks that they be lengthly so I have to read them carefully and answer fully. Please "follow" the Accountability Gallery. Send my Lecture emails to His email: redandmore@protonmail.com Include "Jennifer - Lecture " in the Title or Subject line. I will email back as soon as possible. Please contact Red if you are willing to be included on His "Lecturer's List". You will be notified by Red before I receive a discipline session and the reason for my discipline. Hopefully you will not be notified very often! SN members - Thanks for helping hold me accountable for my attitude and behavior choices and improve myself! - Jen

Hi, Im located in Atlanta, Ga and Ive been a spanko for as long as I can remember. Im a 30 year old guy and Im looking for a girlfriend for a domestic discipline relationship. Ive been looking everywhere for years and for some reason just joined this site. Im open to meeting people who dont live close as Ive found its hard to find spankos who live close. Dont be afraid to say hi!

I am not new to the DD lifestyle; I shared a DD friendship that helped me immensely. But alas, that ended due to a change of physical location. I did, learn what I needed in a relationship. I am earnestly seeking the One. I know without a doubt that there is no way that I can ever live vanilla. I firmly believe that my place is in my man's arms and over my man's knee.

Hi there everyone: As you can deduce from my profile I've been a member here since 2006. In fact, it was through this forum that I met my 'perfect match', and we were blissfully happy for eight years, when serious illnesses in her family reluctant led to the inevitable decision that she relocate back to Arizona. And so: YOU: You are woman 18+ to 80, who feels an empty spot on your life. Maybe it's a need for gentle reminders to get you back to your schoolwork. Maybe it's some moderate correction to help you finally stop smoking. Maybe it's a good old-fashioned lickin' to help you relieve the guilt of that terrible secret you've been carrying around all these years. Perhaps you want to return to an earlier time, back when, if mom or dad said “you had better behave, miss...”, they really meant just that. Back to those times when you checked your watch, realized you were out well after curfew, and that sinking, panicky feeling flooded your tummy. What would it be this time, when you got home, eh? A smack on the backside? A trip over mom or daddy's knee? Or would it be....oh no! not that!......would it be the belt again, just like those times so long ago? All of us are different...all of us are the same. ME: Daddy is a late middle aged university professor, 70-plus and long retired, and father of four grown kids, who seeks a surrogate daughter with the same zeal and interest that you are seeking in a father figure. Like all good dads, I'll provide emotional support, gentle encouragement, and familial correction when those aren't enough. I have participated in The-Thing-We-Do for many years, and have, as I said, just completed a successful relationship with a young lady whose future looks a lot brighter now that it did when first we met. I am located in Columbus, Ohio, quite close to a major university. (Go Bucks!) I have been known to assist with the groceries, rent or tuition if the situation is appropriate. Contact me via PM with a brief intro, and we can communicate via text, voice chat, FaceTime or what ever common platforms we might share. Email to counsel33a@yahoo.com is also a reliable way to make contact. Thanks for reading... Kevin C.

Hi guys, Just wanted to introduce myself, I'm a "married to my brat" Daddy who's been fortunate enough to be practicing the DD lifestyle 24/7 with my brat wife for the past 7 years. We're originally from New York City and have recently moved to Hickory North Carolina. We also offer a blog which my brat writes daily about our life as well as some bonus content we're pretty sure you'll all love so check it out! Thank you and I look forward to visiting here a lot and getting to know all of you! Best, Chris bratTaming Formerly “Daddy’sDomesticatedbrat”, This is the definitive guide to the 21st Century punishment and discipline of a mouthy, improper & entitled brat. In this “too liberal” society today, domestic discipline is more needed and more desired than ever. Subscribe to this new blog by a real life brat living in the traditional way dictated by the boundaries set by the HoH. Photos, videos, practical lifestyle discussion and analysis, a “Dear brat” advice column, fiction and real life experiences combine to make this the newest & most exciting corporal punishment platform since the invention of the hairbrush! Guaranteed (or else) daily posts & updates! www.brattaming.blogspot.com – Domain, products, exclusive personal photos & videos coming soon! Have a DD blog, store or website? Cross-promote with me!

I am a 33 yr old female looking for a serious male spanker in NC. lately I have felt myself slipping back into my bad habits and need to be held accountable. I need rules and consequences. only serious inquiries please feel free to message me and I will be willing to discuss my needs further.

Hello to half of all of you (the female half): I live in the Raleigh, NC area and am looking for a submissive-minded woman who wants to be the EE in a DD LTR relationship. I am upper 50's, professional, in great shape, very clean and DD-free. Not looking for a slave, but a nice woman who just happens to be on the submissive side and likes the idea of a LTR DD relationship. I go by the name of MisterSir (not my real name of course otherwise I would have had a very strange mother indeed). - MisterSir

I am recently single again. I was in some kind of a DD relationship. Unfortunately, things didn't work out. But I realized that I can no longer go back to a boring vanilla boyfriend.I am open to chat. I always enjoy talking to a spanko.

This method of punishment that my wife uses, I hate more than words can describe. She makes me ask my 30+ year old stepson to paddle punish me. First, I don't like male paddlers, second we do not like each other at all, this is the last person in the world I'd want swatting my butt, he does it nude with witnesses, and his method is tough. He uses a 24" long, 2" wide, thin plywood paddle to start. He lays on the swats extremely hard until it breaks, usually several dozen swats. I'm very sore by then, with matching bullseyes on each cheek, and I have to get up and hand him the next paddle, I am sometimes fully erect. To finish, he applies the big Poplar blister paddle any where from 6, to as many as 40 swats. I end up bawling, squirming on the bench, and begging for mercy. Usually his gf watches, but he has had as many as 15 friends and family over to put on a show. I have begged my wife not to do this, I absolutely hate everything about it. She says this is why she thinks it is so effective, and as long as she feels I am getting memorable punishments like this, my stepson will continue to be her assistant disciplinarian.

Hello everyone. You can call me Cherry. I've had a lifetime spanking obsession, but I've only been receiving for a couple of years now. I am happily married to a man who has really pushed his boundaries to try and satisfy my needs, but sometimes it's just not enough. I need to be punished and I don't think he is capable of it right now. Like probably everyone on here, it has never been easy for me to share my need to be spanked. I was not spanked as a child, but I did witness other children being spanked, and those early memories have never left me. I was mostly a good girl. I made straight As in school and rarely disobeyed, so I was never really in trouble much. But I have always been a little bit of a know-it-all, and I can also be very bossy and stubborn sometimes. When I was in 5th grade, I made friends with a girl whose father was very strict. One time when I was staying at her house, I very rudely corrected his grammar and implied that he should go back to school. He told me that "if you were my daughter and you talked to an adult like that, I would whip your bare bottom until you learned some respect." I never went back to that house because I thought that if I did, he would be able to see in my eyes that what I wanted most was for him to actually do it. Sometimes good girls need spankings too! In high school and college, I grew to hate my spanking obsession. I was a smart, opinionated, independent young woman who secretly wanted to be spanked like a little girl. At this point I started to realize how sexual my obsession was, and I started to think that something must be really wrong with me. I could not have an orgasm without thinking about being spanked. I would skip class so I could be home when my roommates were gone and look at spanking videos online. I would purposely tease and be ugly to my boyfriends in the hopes that they would get fed up and take me across their knee. I would do everything except actually ask for what I wanted. I met my husband when I was 23, and by then I had realized that I would never be happy in a relationship that didn't involve spanking. Early on, I would drop subtle hints about how I wouldn't mind it if he were "a little rougher" during sex. This translated into a little hair pulling, a little nipple-pinching, and then finally . . . a nice hard slap on the bottom during sex. I moaned and gasped so loud he thought he hurt me and tried to apologize. I said "please don't stop" and then uttered the words I'd always had at the tip of my tongue . . . "please spank me." Ever since, our sex life has been amazing! He was very worried about hurting me at first, and still is sometimes. I've assured him that I will let him know if things go too far, but the truth is that part of what I really need is to be taken just a little farther than I want to go. I love to be spanked, but I also need to be punished. My husband doesn't like it when he leaves bruises, but when he does I relish those marks all day, hiding them from him while secretly admiring them in the mirror and wishing they'd fade a little slower. It took a while for him to build confidence in his spanking, and the last thing I want to do is push him too quickly or make him feel like he's not doing something right. That is why I am here. I need to be good and truly punished. I am a good wife, but I can sometimes be bossy and controlling to my husband. I watch spanking videos in secret. I joined this forum without telling him. Most of all, I just haven't been honest. My hope is that one day soon I can show him this post and share with him how badly I need a real spanking. Maybe this will be the first thing he will actually punish me for. So sorry for the long post, but this has been on my chest for a long time. I don't want to stifle what my husband and I have going by demanding more than he feels comfortable giving right now, but I need to express these feelings somehow. I welcome your comments and look forward to participating in this community.

i recently came out to my sister about feeling the need to be spanked. I didn't tell her that id ever acted on that need but i did mention that some day i would want to have DD in my relationship when i'm married. She defiantly thought it was weird and did not think it was a good idea. But she also didn't judge me to much for it, well not that i know of .It's still the same between us if not somewhat better because i don't have to hide such a huge part of my life from her anymore. It did get me thinking however that it took me so long to except this part of my life and even longer to tell someone maybe its us who have trouble excepting it and not others.i Found out about DD when i was a freshman in high school i was working on a school debate for corporeal punishment and came across a DD blog. I was simply appalled and pretty much thought theses women were brain washed. But you know what i keep going back to that site because i had to understand why these women wanted such a thing and slowly i did i began to understand exactly why they wanted it because they were me. I'm not submissive by nature i'm rather strong willed and if i ever hope of having a smooth relationship someday well ill certainly need to let my husband have his rightful place as HoH and well that's hard for me and ill likely need some help. SO after a while and a lot of praying i figured that this was what i would want in a marriage. But that was all there was i thought until junior year my parents started letting up a lot i was 17 and i stated that i was piratically and adult quite a few times and i guess they listed because slowly more and more freedom came my way and slowly i became desperate for some boundaries of course i was to stubborn to ask my parents still am. So after a while i finally realized that what i really needed was someone to help me like women in DD relationships had, but that didn't exist did it? Yes it did mentoring now it took me forever to admit that i needed a mentor and that having to miss a final test because you forgot to do the paper you had to turn in with it and lying to your teacher saying you got the day of the test mixed up ( i was lucky i could take it as a make up) was a clear sign that i needed help. But slowly i did and then i told myself i would just keep it to online mentoring clamming it was the safety factor. But today i'm pretty sure it was more the fact that i couldn't admit i needed a Real Life spanking well not at that point i couldn't. I went trough countless online mentors even tried to make it work with a couple two different times. Even go emotionally tangled up with one witch is not the best idea, it works for some but for me it was horrible in fact it was something that i should have gotten out of sooner. But one really smart person, he is now a grandfather to me in everywhere except blood told me that i would one day seek a real life spanking and that it was in my wiring. Hate to say it but you were right grandpa i would and i am. So why did it take me so long, so much heartache to find the right thing well here's my take on it, for me at least i was so scared that if others found out they would be appalled and that me excepting it made me sick or something. I'm not saying everyone will understand i know my parents never will, my my sister did to a point, she may not agree but she gets its my life and shes not going to judge me for it. So i think sometimes what really stops us from immersing in this life style is excepting ourselves its something that can be really hard when you need something that is somewhat "taboo" in society it is however a modern world and nobody knows what you need better than you so if i can give any advice to someone just starting out it is this (and if you are still reading this by know your a trooper) Don't worry about society, or your family or your friends, there are plenty of people out there into this and if its something you need/ want then you should give it a shot, but be careful i learned everything i know the hard way so don't do what i did cause i was lucky and i never had any truly horrible experiences but plenty have and iv had enough bad ones to know that you absolutely have to be careful and use common sense, that's my rant for know just felt like sharing iv meet some awesome people on here and they have gotten me trough a lot they know who they are and i am so thankful for them.

Hi there I'm Paige and I am looking for someone between the ages 22-29 to be in a spanking relationship with. Im looking for a DD relationship and a boyfriend. I have a mentor currently but I am looking for a relationship now. Im in Pennsylvania. I do not drive at the moment so I need someone who drives. Message me if you're interested

Hi there I'm Paige and I am looking for someone between the ages 22-29 to be in a spanking relationship with. Im looking for a DD relationship and a boyfriend. I have a mentor currently but I am looking for a relationship now. Im in Pennsylvania. I do not drive at the moment so I need someone who drives. Message me if you're interested

I am a 60 something married male. I am paddled by my wife of 14 years. I am paddled at least weekly for maintenance. S also gives out punishments for cause quite frequently. I also get follow ups, reminders, and am punished for no reason other than she wants to. I have to ask for my weeklys, and choose the paddles. When I am to be punished, I must choose her paddles, methods, and severity. If I don't ask for what she considers a strict enough session, she will paddle-punish me so tough, that I rarely allow this. My paddlings are done privately, unless S is really pissed, then she has witnesses. I do all I can to avoid those, it is much worse having people watch. Her sisters, adult daughters, and son have at one time got to witness. What I dread most, only happened three times, is when my 38 year old stepson, not only gets to watch, but she allows him to apply some paddling. S has over 20 paddles in her collection, all different, all effective.

I am a 60 something married male. I am paddled by my wife of 14 years. I am paddled at least weekly for maintenance. S also gives out punishments for cause quite frequently. I also get follow ups, reminders, and am punished for no reason other than she wants to. I have to ask for my weeklys, and choose the paddles. When I am to be punished, I must choose her paddles, methods, and severity. If I don't ask for what she considers a strict enough session, she will paddle-punish me so tough, that I rarely allow this. My paddlings are done privately, unless S is really pissed, then she has witnesses. I do all I can to avoid those, it is much worse having people watch. Her sisters, adult daughters, and son have at one time got to witness. What I dread most, only happened three times, is when my 38 year old stepson, not only gets to watch, but she allows him to apply some paddling. S has over 20 paddles in her collection, all different, all effective.

I put this in the erotic section and didn't get many replies so I thought I'd try here. I have a cute little wife who has done something very mischievous and I thought it would be fun to let the Spanking Needs members decide how I should punish her. Of course it must be stated that she is my best friend, we have a completely consensual relationship, and nothing will be done to her without her consent. But she has been very naughty and we thought that this would be fun. I recently got a new job with a serious pay upgrade (YAY!) and my, usually very fiscally conservative, little girl went on a bit of a shopping spree. Let’s just say most of my first paycheck went “poof”. She’s been very good with money for the past couple of years and so I don’t really mind, I think she deserves it, but a spanko like me is always looking for reasons to indulge myself. Anyway she feels terribly guilty and has asked me to give her a good long hard punishment. In fact she says that she thinks one punishment won’t do for all of the money that she spent so I am asking you, the community of Spanking Needs, to come up with punishments that this naughty little girl will receive. If you can come up with something that sounds fun to me I’ll punish her according to your stated regimen, and then fill you all in on the wonderful details of how it all went for her. This girl is 5’8”, 150 lbs with long flowing brown hair, beautifully large brown eyes, and a gorgeous J’ Lo like soft, muscular bottom. Her skin is a beautiful pale shade that starts to turn to a gorgeous pink and red after a short stay over the knee, but she can take A LOT. And I do mean a lot. Not like beaten to black and blue or anything, but we’re looking for a good bring her to tears and then keep her there for a while so she learns her lesson, single or multi-implement spanking. What you can do is describe for me how you would punish this girl, or if you were this girl how you would like to be punished (spankings only please we’re not into alternative types of punishment play like figging or anything, I respect if you are, but that’s not our thing). Please give details. Number and strength of swats, position, clothes on or off, special clothes to be worn (naughty school girl outfit for example), is she to count, should she have to ask for more, is she to hold her position, is there a spanking penalty for moving out of position or rubbing her behind, etc. The more detailed and creative, the more fun for everyone. Toys we have available include obviously my hand, a narrow leather belt, a wide leather belt, a ¼ inch thick Sorority style paddle, a light wooden paddle with holes (the bumblebee stinger), a light wooden paddle without holes, a heavier long handled hairbrush style paddle (which I just made and I’m raring to try out!), a round leather paddle, a long acrylic cane, a short OTK acrylic cane, 2 wooden canes 1/8 and 1/4 inch thick respectively, and a light leather deerskin flogger. I’m pretty proud of my collection. Most of this stuff is home made so if you can think of something that I’m missing, that you think she deserves to feel on her backside, please feel free to add implements and I’ll do my best to make new ones. Always looking for fun new stuff to add to the toy box. Have fun everyone, I can’t wait to hear your responses!

I have a cute little wife who has done something very mischievous and I thought it would be fun to let the Spanking Needs members decide how I should punish her. Of course it must be stated that she is my best friend, we have a completely consensual relationship, and nothing will be done to her without her consent. But she has been very naughty and we thought that this would be fun. I recently got a new job with a serious pay upgrade (YAY!) and my, usually very fiscally conservative, little girl went on a bit of a shopping spree. Let’s just say most of my first paycheck went “poof”. She’s been very good with money for the past couple of years and so I don’t really mind, I think she deserves it, but a spanko like me is always looking for reasons to indulge myself. Anyway she feels terribly guilty and has asked me to give her a good long hard punishment. In fact she says that she thinks one punishment won’t do for all of the money that she spent so I am asking you, the community of Spanking Needs, to come up with punishments that this naughty little girl will receive. If you can come up with something that sounds fun to me I’ll punish her according to your stated regimen, and then fill you all in on the wonderful details of how it all went for her. This girl is 5’8”, 150 lbs with long flowing brown hair, beautifully large brown eyes, and a gorgeous J’ Lo like soft,muscular bottom. Her skin is a beautiful pale shade that starts to turn to a gorgeous pink and red after a short stay over the knee, but she can take A LOT. And I do mean a lot. Not like beaten to black and blue or anything, but we’re looking for a good bring her to tears and then keep her there for a while so she learns her lesson, single or multi-implement spanking. What you can do is describe for me how you would punish this girl, or if you were this girl how you would like to be punished (spankings only please we’re not into alternative types of punishment play like figging or anything, I respect if you are, but that’s not our thing). Please give details. Number and strength of swats, position, clothes on or off, special clothes to be worn (naughty school girl outfit for example), is she to count, should she have to ask for more, is she to hold her position, is there a spanking penalty for moving out of position or rubbing her behind, etc. The more detailed and creative, the more fun for everyone. Toys we have available include obviously my hand, a narrow leather belt, a wide leather belt, a ¼ inch thick Sorority style paddle, a light wooden paddle with holes (the bumblebee stinger), a light wooden paddle without holes, a heavier long handled hairbrush style paddle (which I just made and I’m raring to try out!), a round leather paddle, a long acrylic cane, a short OTK acrylic cane, 2 wooden canes 1/8 and 1/4 inch thick respectively, and a light leather deerskin flogger. I’m pretty proud of my collection. Most of this stuff is home made so if you can think of something that I’m missing, that you think she deserves to feel on her backside, please feel free to add implements and I’ll do my best to make new ones. Always looking for fun new stuff to add to the toy box. Have fun everyone, I can’t wait to hear your responses!

Hello everyone, Mostly I just lurk here trying to get information and understand this need I have come to accept about myself. Like many here, I have identified with spanking for as long as I can remember and the only thing I can compare my feelings to needing to be spanked, is people knowing they are gay. You are who you are. I am not that experienced but I know all about that "light as air" feeling after a spanking and also feeling dissapointed for not being spanked hard or long enough. I identify with being punished for misbehavior, being spanked for stress relief and I also find it erotic. I have recently come to understand that while I want to be punished for my wrong doings, punishment spankings are also a big part of my fantasies. Yet while I have had punishment spankings, I have never been turned on during them. I don't like the spanking, but want it so very much. So I have learned their are many different types of spankings for many different occasions and reasons and I happen to identify with just about all kinds. Now the trouble is trying to explain all this to a vanilla husband. He is aware of my need, but I know he doesn't really get it. How could he if he does not feel the same way I do? He likes the spanking for foreplay, but is not comfortable at all with the spanking for punishment or stress. I know part of him just doesn't get it and another part does not want to hurt me. I don't know how to get through to him that while the spanking is hurting me at the moment, I really see it as an act of love on his part and that it is for my own best interest. Does anyone have any advice on how I can explain this to my husband? I would love for him to get to the point where he recognizes I need a stress spanking and give it to me. I would love him to spank me for disrespect toward him and I would like him to spank me for romance too. Has anyone had any luck getting their vanilla partner to understand all this? I am certain my husband won't like the idea of someone else spanking me, but I also don't want to live my life with out regular spankings anymore. I identify so much with so many of the ways spanking works for them on this site, that I feel like I am missing out. Thanks in advance for answering me as a most often lurker.

I've been interested in spanking for a long time, but I have never had the courage to actually get one. For a long time now I've been needing something in my life and I think that something is a regular spanking. I've always thought that I would be in a relationship with someone who spanks me, but I think it would be better to start off with spanking and see how it goes. I'm looking for someone around my age range, I'm 25. I can not host at this time, but hopefully will be able to within the next couple of months. I think it's finally time to the face the consequences and get some things in my life into order.