Zhal

Not sure if I'd call them maintenance spankings or not, and I feel that I do need some baseline spanking whether I've been naughty, need to focus on something, or not. I have before classified these as "just because" spankings. As I realize my discipline could use a little push, I have ideas for regular "punishment in advance" spankings to remind me of what naughty boy spankings will feel like.

After childhood, I was not spanked by males. This was by my choice, think of it as a method of healing from what I felt was the overuse of spanking when I was young. The one time I did have a male spank me, I did not call him "Sir", though I would not have a problem with it if it were an agreed upon part of the spanking relationship during the spanking session. Outside of spanking sessions, I call spankers by their names, and it kind of creeps me out when people here call their spankers "ma'am" or "sir" in their posts.

My drive wasn't quite as long to my long term spanker when I lived two towns over, roughly an hour and twenty minutes once I had the route committed to memory. I frequently had to stop at a rest stop on my way to my spankings. Coming home, usually not.

I'll admit I didn't follow all the safety protocols when I first started. Partly because some of them I didn't know about, partly because I figured I could get myself out of a dangerous situation. While things did work out with a spanker who didn't allow safe words, I know that it is not the case for every spanker like that. Yes, I knew I was taking a risk, and accepted the consequences. Having said that, I had spent years talking to my now retired long-term spanker before I ever saw her to have her spank me. Things I would do differently: While my long term spanker was able to make me feel that other than my butt (and maybe thighs) would be safe without a safe word, I check what any potential spanker's safety "guarantee" for the spankee is. I have, since my spanker retired, seen a spanker who does use safe words, and I have never given her mine, nor has either of the two spankings she gave me made me get to the point where I would. In addition to the safe word, add a safe call with someone who knows about my kink. This includes many of my friends, and now includes my sister and brother-in-law. Meet in a public place for the first in person meeting. While going straight to the spanking afterword worked for me, it is generally advised to do a no spanking public meet first. Made my appointment for my first adult spanking earlier. My remaining advice is that if anything brings up red flags, pay attention to those flags, don't ignore them.

While I don't consider myself submissive, I did start as a spankee. Even as I've started giving the spankings, I still want to be spanked as well. There are aspects of my life where I'm more dominant, obviously including when I'm spanking, and among other roles as well. There are of course those who don't want anything to do with a submissive male, because of being trained to accept and want toxic masculinity. While I wasn't raised with a lot of the harmful things we've told boys over the generations, some of the bad teachings were given.

After posting on your other topic, you messaged me. I replied, though I don't think I answered your question quite how you meant.

It is quite fine to have fantasies, and even act them out with consenting partners. My standing is that the story is in the fantasy category even though it was posted as fact. Usually it takes more, an generally, the more outlandish the story the more likely it is to be fantasy.

I would be happy to meet you in person when you're ready.

Depends on when the spanker's legs start to fall asleep. Also depends on what implements are going to be used. There are some implements that are definitely bent over implements, and others that work well for OTK.

I did hear the threat a few times as a child. My sister and I would behave for a while after it was given. My parents never pulled over.

I sometimes use "butt massage" as a euphemism for spanking, when I'm in a situation where it would be inappropriate to use the word "spanking" outright. As for "normal" massages? I like them a bit rough. The last massage I got was given by a man. Instead of having to tell him "harder" there was one point where I was tempted to tell him to lighten up on that area. So yes, I consider spankings a painful butt massage. Especially if the spanker occasionally rubs my butt checks between sets of spanks.

I've gotten the bath brush before, and even used it for self spankings. Yes, it's one of the more severe spanking implements, but not quite as attention getting as some of the paddles I've had applied to my butt nor the tawses.

Sometimes. It's a nice engagement of the kink when I'm neither spanking nor getting spanked. Additionally, the bad ones can teach me what not to do in both directions: no wimpy "patty cake" spankings and at the other end, no brutally hard ones either.

I've been paddled with both solid paddles and paddles with holes. Oddly, I don't really have a preference of which my butt gets hit with. At one spanking, when I asked for the Lexan Paddle (hers has holes) for additional spanking, she gave it to me over my pants. At other spankings, I got the same paddle on my bare butt. Not only am I not against bruising, I actually want bruises from a spanking, especially if it's a punishment spanking. Part of the "fun" for me is watching my marks slowly fade over days, as looking at them is a good reminder that I got a spanking. Those bruises help enforce the point when sitting down is more uncomfortable than simply having a stinging behind.

The fact that you're using terms that have dominant definitions, people are going to go by those definitions rather than your personal ones.

But I am not a professional spanker. Flat or cupped hand has been sufficient for hand spankings.

I would definitely not recommend putting anything up someone's butt that you wouldn't have an easy way of removing. There's a reason ginger figs are shaped into butt plugs before going in the spankee's butt, so I would avoid using a wad of gum one had been chewing. That said, I was interested in making the spankings I got hurt more, especially during the hand spanking phase, and I had considered asking to be figged.

Tie between a lexan paddle or a purple wooden paddle my long term spanker had. That paddle may have been made of purpleheart for all I know.

Yeah, I've seen group spankings at spanking parties. I've wanted to be one of the people being spanked in one.

Although it could be applied, spanking backhanded just interrupts the flow of the arm (I've practiced in the air). While I know a lot of spankers just use the hand spanking as a warm up, the only reason a hand spanking didn't "get my attention" was because the spanker in question has a hand injury. That didn't prevent her from hand spanking anyway, it's just that she moved on from the hand spanking much faster than my long term spanker did.

I can. I'm doing guided self spankings with another English woman already. Also, I want to extend my international travel to be more than just Canada and Malaysia because my dad was on a business move when I was 17 and I didn't have other plans. To make things easier, I have chosen England. Originally planned a long trip, but I have my reasons for changing that. Hope was to ride with the GCN presenters in Bath, but my landing point would be London. Probably in March, if approved by my workplace.

Remember that change has to come from within. While a spanking might motivate you to get back on track, you have to actually want to change. Be careful, and don't ignore red flags. I wish you luck. Were we not separated by "the pond" I'd offer my help.

I'm usually not erect before getting a disciplinary spanking, though I might get erections thinking about it (or another kind of spanking) before it happens. Obviously, whether I'm covered in front or not, I obviously must get erect while being spanked sometimes, because I do sometimes cum while being spanked regardless of the reason for being spanked. If my front is covered, it's contained to my boxer (brief), otherwise it does on whatever I'm pointed at.