secretman

It's alright. I know I deal with ADD and depression too. Everyone has things they're working on - and it's important to be able to communicate that kind of thing to any potential partners. But don't feel awkward about it. It's just part of learning how to express those needs and explore them safely and enjoyably.

How is "age regression" not a form of "age play"?

I was having this discussion earlier and I wasn't sure if I could really come to a conclusion. On the one hand, it is clearly inherently treating someone in a childish kind of way, but on the other hand there's a lot of different kind of mindsets people approach the interest with. What are your thoughts?

The concept of "Teenagers" is a modern one that depended on things like the industrial revolution, modern education and disruption from 2 world wars. See: https://www.ushistory.org/us/46c.asp or https://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/2018/02/brief-history-teenagers/ In biblical times, on the one hand children would effectively be "independent" to a degree as soon as they could work, or married off to someone, but at the same time generally the oldest working man living in a house would have a degree of authority over wives, children and slaves at home that would be considered extreme even in conservative communities today. Even in the early industrial revolution it was normal to send children to work very young, or to apprentice at a trade. Though at the same time, punishments like flogging were widely used throughout society for social and legal infractions. So, it's a bit hard to make a straight comparison between what the bible was talking about and any kind of modern context.

Welcome to the site!

Unless your vanilla partner is either willing to let you get most of your intimacy elsewhere, or is EXTREMELY enthusiastic about learning (and ultimately is not really vanilla in the end), it will not work. Spare yourself the heartache and find someone compatible.

I'm kind of curious to see how people sort themselves in this. Of course there are some limitations... I'd love to have it broken down by the gender of the person answering the question, and create more of a spectrum of "only one gender/mainly one gender/both genders equally/etc..." and also measure topping/bottoming, but this will suffice for one question. And I know there are issues with framing gender as binary when a lot of people don't identify that way - apologies for that, I'm not sure I'd be able to classify more granular data.

I guess a bit depends on the relationship they have with each other and the bottom(s) - so like would they both be kind of "parents" to the bottom, or mentors, or some other kind of model of relationship? Is it like an open relationship with other romantic partners? Just discipline? It doesn't have to be roleplaying exactly, but by defining roles in those terms it can help to clarify what the expectations should be for everyone involved.

Yep! I completely clam up if anyone brings up the topic in "vanilla" life.

Personally I feel like it's important for both a spanker and spankee (regardless of who's in which role) to come with things that they want out of a relationship generally, and spanking sessions specifically. You both want to feel like you're fulfilling some need for one another - so simply being a blank slate as far as what you want to do can make it harder to talk and come up with ideas about how things will actually work. (Of course, your mileage will vary - that depends on the individuals) But knowing the spanker WANTS to discipline the spankee... knowing they enjoy it and feel fulfilled by giving it - that's an important thing to communicate. And what aspects really make them satisfied - if it's the change in behaviour, the actual spanking itself, the aftercare, some combination - that helps communication and avoids frustration. For male spankees, being submissive is a space that's really different from most of a guy's normal life... being vulnerable, being submissive, being the center of attention, being powerless... it's a really special kind of space to be in.

If it hasn't yet, it should!

Okay, I'm curious - I don't listen to country but now I'm curious what references you've heard.

I'd say it's really in the "it depends" category. Spanking is intimate, even if it's not "sex", it's still a close personal connection between two people. But simply talking about spanking isn't the same as pursuing a spanking relationship with someone. Ideally every relationship should be open and honest, but it's really not reasonable to expect every person to meet that standard 100% of the time, and having an interest in spanking is a deep personal interest that can be hard to share at all, let alone explain every detail about it. If someone isn't entirely sure about their own interest, let alone how their partner would react, it's important for them to be able to at least figure that out without feeling too guilt-ridden and to look for advice on how to explain it and deal with it. Of course every relationship is different - so chances are if your partner would feel like it's cheating, then you should probably take that into account.

It's important to change it up. If you're going at a constant pace, either it'll get tedious if it's too slow or overwhelming if it's too fast. A short burst of spanks, then pausing to rub, a few slow harder ones, etc...