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junior4blue

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About junior4blue

  • Rank
    Newbie
  • Birthday 11/28/1961

Profile Information

  • Location
    Indiana
  • Gender
    Male
  • Experience
    Regular
  • Role
    Spankee

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1635 profile views
  1. Always room for improvement.

  2. Happy Birthday junior!!!!!! Hope you are well!!!

  3. i had seen this forum a long time ago but never joined nor particiapted. But in recent times MaMa Blue reintroduced me to the forum and encouraged to become a member and join in. She did not force me to but thought it would be good for me because of some things i am working on. And she was right...again! There are all types in all rooms and forums, but i agree with those that believe there are more "real" people here than in most other sites. i have enjoyed interacting with ones i have met here on line and look forward to getting to know more of you in here. It did not take long to feel a good connection with a few of you and i appreciate your company, your perspectives, your backgrounds and experiences, and all that go into making you the people you are. This really is a great forum for many of us to explore our passion for spanking and discipline...or whatever level and types of spankings you enjoy. i am very glad to be a member here and participate in this wonderful forum. junior
  4. I wish I had taken the time and seen this post and all these great replies before I posted a similar one. Some are very lucky in never questioning why. A lot of others can't help but to question and wonder why we are like this...whether it is in giving, receiving, or switching. Like others have noted, my awakening is when a feeling just came over me one day that i am like simply because ths is who i am...this "thing" is simply a part of me. Although spanking is obviously a unique part of us, it occurred to me that my passion for it is the same as other things i enjoy in my life...the type of music i like, authors i enjoy reading, sports i enjoy watching or playing. i have hobbies i enjoy and don't question "why" about any of these things or wonder why i am like this or how i got this way. All of these things simply make me who i am. Now, as easy as it is for us to say we no longer question or we found our answers, everyone has to process this on their own. And the reasons "why" may be different for different people. We have to simply get to a point and time in our life where we accept this as a part of our makeup and once we do, it is so much easier to enjoy this passion we have for spankings. The best part of forums like this and posts on a topic like this is that most of who question ourselves also have gone through (or are going through) periods of time where we feel this is wrong or there is something wrong with us or we must be the only adult who has a "thing" for needing to be spanked or needing to give a spanking. Yet posts like these from kind, like-minded people help us all realize there are a lot of others just like us. It helps us overcome the isloated "I'm the only one so there must be something wrong with me" thoughts we sometimes had/have. One still has to reach a comfort level for themselves in accepting this as a part of who they are and understand that this is "normal." It may not be normal for everyone but it is for us...and who is to say or define what "normal" is anyway? i wish everyone going through this struggle the absolute best...it somewhat haunted me for years and that is okay...I think it helped me appreciate the passion i have for spanking even more when i simply understood and accepted that this is a part of me and who i am. junior
  5. That goes both ways MaMa...i will finally make some much needed improvements and changes in certain areas of my life because of you. Love, your junior
  6. I saw a comment on someone’s profile stating that she knows what need and wants but still feels like a freak or a deviant at times. And while she is not either of those, I can certainly relate as I am sure a lot of us can, to feeling like that at some point in our lives as we explored “this” side of us. And I am sure if I did a little search in the forum I would find this topic discussed and I could put my two cents in there. But I am still feeling and finding my way around this site and it is just a little easier for me to start a new post…I apologize if I should have done this differently. It prompted me to reflect back on my own thoughts and how I used to really wonder, almost obsess, trying to figure why I am like this…why I am into spanking and discipline. I thought I would share my own personal perspective. Some, but certainly not all, will be able to relate. We are all different and there are different reasons why we are into one thing but not into something else. And differences are a good thing and should be embraced…it’s what keeps life interesting. Once I started to explore my spanking side I soon started to wonder…and yes, even worry a little…as to why I was “into” this. I mean, how could a grown man be into something like spanking and discipline and punishment? And this was before my current exploration of being the one to have to answer to someone…this is when my more natural tendency to be the one to mentor and discipline was coming out. But I don’t think it matters which side of the equation we are on, quite often we still ask ourselves why we are into this. And looking back…way back…I came to realize that I have been into spanking in some form or another for almost my entire life. I can remember certain things growing up that I now realize was just me being into spanking although I certainly never understood nor realized that as a kid or a teenager. As a young adult, I knew there was something that attracted me to spanking but I didn’t really understand what it was or why I was drawn to it. And as I started to mature and move from being a young adult to an adult, there was no doubt that I had a passion for old fashioned discipline and discipline type spankings. But the more I became aware of it, the more I began to worry a little bit about this side of me. I am going to date myself a little, but realizing I had this need and desire for spanking and discipline came about before the internet was really out there and available to everyone. I did not have the resources that are readily available today and so my exploration was mostly done in my mind and my imagination. I started to be bothered by this ‘thing” I was attracted to and had some very irrational thoughts…the biggest one being that I felt like I was the only normal (okay everyone, insert your own definition of normal here!) adult who could be into something like spankings…old fashioned spankings…good sound spankings. The kind of spankings that kids got from their parents…I mean, what adult could be into that??? My thought process was that when you became an adult, you moved from spankings to things that included whips and chains and leather and bondage and S&M. When you become an adult you progress from riding a bike to driving a car or motorcycle…you go from watching cartoons to watching adult TV shows…you go from “having” to eat your vegetables to deciding on your own if you want to or not, right?? OK, so some of us still ride bikes and yes we adults sometimes still enjoy watching cartoons, but you get my point don’t you? And for the record, I have chosen NOT to eat my vegetables! So it makes sense that you outgrow spankings and if you want to venture down that path as an adult, you move to S&M. That was my thinking and thought process anyway. And given that, there HAD to be something wrong with me having a passion for old fashioned discipline and spankings. Sure, I had some magazines and video tapes (remember, before internet and before DVDs!) that were more spanking related, but even then I figured those were more for freaks and perverts and not a normal guy like me. Then the internet blossomed and I started exploring web sites and looked at pictures and video clips and read stories. I started to learn more about myself and what aspects of this I was really drawn to…I still didn’t know “why” but I at least started to understand more and more “what” I was into. And then there were the sites with chat rooms. I stayed away from those because I had no clue how to work them…what to say in them…how to act…and mostly because I had no clue who would be in there. Let’s face it, there simply had to be freaks and perverts and weirdos and hard core S&M folks who would chew me up, spit me out, and laugh at me for being into kid’s stuff like spankings. But one night I got my nerve up and went into a spanking chat room…and low and behold what did I find? A lot of normal people…people for the most part like you and me who are simply into spankings of various sorts including discipline. Now there are all kinds in all chat rooms and in all walks of life…and again, that is okay. I was fortunate to stumble into a room where people were mostly into spankings and not the real hard core stuff. There is nothing wrong with the hard core stuff, it is just not for me. So, I was able to clear one thing off my mind…I was NOT the only normal adult who had a “thing” for spankings. I came to really enjoy the chat room and established some good relationships including one with a brat/sub that was sort of an exclusive on-line relationship where I was her mentor and disciplinarian through chat and phone and e-mail. Now that I knew I was not 1 in all the billions of people in the world, I was able to relax a little more and enjoy exploring my passion for spanking and discipline. I viewed web sites and stories and pics and video clips with a new outlook. And when I chatted with others, I not only enjoyed their company but I started really looking at the psychological and emotional reasons why we are like this. Once I knew I was not the only one, it was still eating at me as to why. It was so very interesting talking to others whether it was in a main room chat, private conversation, or even in cyber-play. In all of these venues you can find out a lot about the other person and their perspective on all of this. And the topic of why came up now and then in main room public chats as well as in private conversations. And once again, our vast differences were displayed. Some were certain people were into this because they had been spanked as a child…others were certain it was because they were not spanked as a child and thought they should have been or wished they had been…others (sadly) were spanked but it bordered on or was more abusive than loving discipline…and most people thought or assumed that these were the reasons they were into this as an adult. And for some, they might be the very reasons they are into spanking and discipline…or S&M or whatever level you are at…as an adult. So I started to reflect and analyze myself and look back and wonder if my childhood was the main reason I am into this. I still sometimes think I have blocked out some of the discipline I have received…or perhaps I simply do not remember it all. There are only a couple of instances of childhood discipline that I truly remember vividly and for the most part I think we (brother and sister included) got what we had coming and deserved. I don’t really think it was too little or too much. So for me, personally, I was not convinced that it was my childhood that was the driving force behind my passion for spanking and discipline but I both understood and respected that for others, it was. For years I was exploring my passion and I was not obsessed with finding out why, but I was really, really, really curious as to what was behind this for me. I needed to know for some reason or another. And the one day it came to me…and I think it came to me when I was not even thinking about or even on a spanking web site. And while it seemed too simple to be true, once it came to me a very calming and peaceful wave washed over me. I am into spankings of all kinds, but mainly discipline ones, and it came to me that I am this way for a very simple reason…this is simply a part of me and who I am. It’s part of my makeup and part of the person I am and part of what makes me, me. For me, and I understand this does not apply to everyone, it is simply because spanking and discipline is something I enjoy and need and have in my life. To me, it is no different than how and why I like reading Stephen King novels…why I love photography and wish I could make a living out of being a photographer…why I love shooting pool or playing golf…why I like classic rock and roll (especially The Beatles)…why I loves sports, especially baseball and especially the Cubs (oops, for many you are now doubting my claim to be a normal sane adult!). I don’t question why I am into all of these things. I don’t ponder why I like classic rock and roll more than other styles of music or why The Beatles are my favorite band or why John Lennon is my favorite Beatle. I don’t question why I love to take pictures, shoot pool, or love pizza and would eat that almost every night if I could. I don’t question why it’s hard for me to put down a Stephen King book while not even able to start one by certain other authors. I do enjoy other types of music and other bands just as I enjoy other types of spankings (fun ones…erotic ones…stress release ones…role play ones). But I most enjoy classic rock and the Beatles most of all, just as I most enjoy discipline type spankings (especially when giving!). These are all things that are simply a part of who I am and what I am made. And for me personally, spankings are the same. I simply enjoy, love, and have a passion for spanking and discipline. I know that sounds overly simplistic and it certainly does not apply to everyone as we are all different. But once I came to that conclusion and understanding, I stopped asking “why” and simply started to embrace and enjoy my passion as best I can within the other parts of my life. Thank you taking the time to read this lengthy post...junior
  7. Hi ReadyorNot...I saw your comment about still feeling like a freak or deviant and agree with others when we say you definitely are not. But I can empathize...it took me years to figure out why I am like this or why I have this in me...would love to chat sometime and share my thoughts on this.

  8. Hi ReadyorNot...thank you for being so nice in chat my first night there and for welcoming me here. I do hope to participate as much as I can. As with a lot of people, between home and work, it's not easy but well worth finding the time to be active here. I also hope changes are made for the best and I will be happy to share some experiences as I look forward to hearing from others as well. And yes, MaMa is something and I am lucky to have met her and be working with her.
  9. Thank you Purple for the kind words...MaMa is really something and her approach is just right for me.
  10. Past has been addressed...now i can move forward thanks to MaMa Blue

    1. PonyGirl

      PonyGirl

      Congratulations!

    2. junior4blue

      junior4blue

      Thank you PonyGirl...I appreciate the support and encouragement!

  11. I posted an introduction of myself in the Introduction forum here and now I would like to tell you a little bit about my experience so far with MaMa Blue (tatt2blue). As mentioned in my introduction, I met MaMa Blue on another site and in time we came to understand that I needed the type of maternal discipline she provides and I am one who she would like to take on and discipline and help me become a better me. MaMa has a wonderful approach that combines a firm, strict, and no-nonsense approach to guiding one in need, along with being very loving and caring and supportive. She truly cares about ones needs and sincerely wants to help you succeed in whatever goal you are trying to achieve. If you are serious about making changes in your life, she is serious about helping you get there. On Sunday (09/26), we met for the second time. The first time was more of a meet and greet get together, but she did surprise me by also giving me a small (well, her opinion anyway!) hand spanking to address a minor issue. It is not one of the three main ones we are addressing, but it does play a part in the other areas so she “addressed” it at our first meeting. This also gave me a small taste of what being taken in hand by MaMa Blue is about and gave me a small glimpse into what I could expect when we met to “wipe the slate clean” and deal with my past behaviors and shortcomings in the three main areas we would be working on together. We wiped the slate clean on Sunday (09/26). MaMa had directed me to write a one-page summation for each area we were going to address and work on describing my shortcomings, why they were bad for me, and why I wanted to change them. I gave them to her when we first met and on Sunday I had to revisit them. MaMa gave me a spanking to get things started and warm me up and then it was time to get down to business. She handed me the sealed envelope I had given her weeks prior and I had to open it and then read my writeup one area at a time. With each area, a different implement was used…although her hand was used throughout as well…and overall, in addition to her hand, I received an antique wooden hairbrush…a strap that I had purchased for her which was used for the first time ever by her…and an awful wooden paddle. The paddle was not large but it was thick and I could tell that she did not have to swing it with much effort to make her point!! We “addressed” one area at a time and as I read what I had written, spanks and/or smacks punctuated certain lines that she wanted to stress. And once I was done reading an area, she let me have it but good to make sure I understood that this behavior would not be tolerated going forward and she helped me put my past behaviors and shortcomings behind me. I was pretty certain I understood things perfectly LONG before she decided I understood…but that is what disciplinarians are for, right? They make sure a lesson is fully and properly learned and are thorough and determined to ensure we don’t get off easy or any easier than we should! And as much as I didn’t like the spanking one little bit, I knew deep down it was needed and deserved and I have had this coming for some time. I spent a little time on a hard wooden chair facing the corner after my spanking to reflect on the areas we are working on together…my punishment I just received…and how I was going to do better going forward. I didn’t spend too long like that and I know it could have and would have been longer except MaMa was being kind and generous knowing my time was somewhat limited that day. And while I did not like the spanking at all, there are pieces of this that I did like. I am very much looking forward to the positive results that will come from this. I know from helping others that this can really work and I am confident it can and will work just as well for me. And what I also really like about this is working with MaMa Blue. I may not feel much like a grown man when I am put across her lap…have my bottom bared…and get a spanking like a naughty little boy, but MaMa makes sure that I do feel like a man and feel very good about myself before I leave. She makes sure I understand than a lot of good is coming from this and submitting to this kind of guidance and direction and punishment will make me a better me and make a better man of me. There is no doubt who is in charge and who answers to who whenever we meet or are communicating through e-mail, chat, or phone…but she is absolutely right that I do feel better about myself for addressing and looking to improve these areas of my life. And I love the fact that while she can make me feel more like a naughty young man and then one sorry little boy…she does not humiliate nor degrade me or even make me feel like less of a man simply because I can use a good sound spanking and can benefit from being under her firm but caring tutelage. While I like spending time with Mama, I do not wish to spend “that” kind of time with her again any time soon…but I know if I do not do as I should…if I do not do as instructed…if I fall short of expectations that we have agreed upon I will find myself back in a very familiar place…across her lap, pants off, boxers down, learning a good and valuable lesson…the old fashioned way. Thank you for taking the time to read this…junior
  12. Hello, I am junior and wanted to introduce myself to the good folks at this site. I have been a member for several weeks but for personal reasons I have been unable to properly introduce myself. I am a 48 yo male from Indiana. I have been a “spanko” (for lack of a better term) for as long as I can remember. I simply did not understand all of it or why I am this way for many, many years. Technically I am a switch and to be honest, my natural tendency is more on the giving side than it is receiving, but I will explain shortly why I have come in under a “submissive” name. I am one who thinks all types of spankings are wonderful, but it is the disciplinary ones that really drive me. I do enjoy mentoring and guiding and disciplining someone for their own good and to help them in certain areas of their life. As I said, my natural tendency is to provide the discipline, however, I am one of those that believes that old fashion discipline and spankings are good for all, including myself. I am not one who likes or wants to be spanked, especially for discipline, but I am such a firm believer in the benefits one can get from proper discipline and I also think receiving discipline makes me a better Disciplinarian. And there are a few areas in my life that I have needed help with. After years of searching for the right person, I found MaMa Blue (tatt2blue) on another site and after getting to know one another through e-mails and phone calls, it became apparent that she is the maternal-like disciplinarian that I have been searching for to help me in those areas I previously mentioned. I am able to do okay, even well in these areas but not for long consistent periods of time. I can be good for days or weeks or even months, but these are areas I would prefer to change on a more permanent and consistent basis. Being a “spanko” I have come across many sites and remember seeing this one quite some time ago. MaMa Blue reintroduced me to this site and urged to not just become a member but to actively participate as time allows. While there are "all kinds” in all sites, this one appears to contain more genuine and real people who are sincerely interested in the disciplinary aspects of spankings and punishments. My goal is to grow as a person with the aid of structured guidance and discipline and learn from other like-minded people…ones who give, ones who receive, or ones who do both…and hopefully become a better me. Thank you to those who have taken the time to read my introduction…I look forward to getting to know some of you better...junior
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