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calspankee

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calspankee last won the day on March 12 2010

calspankee had the most liked content!

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About calspankee

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  • Birthday 03/05/1954

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  • Location
    California
  • Gender
    Male
  • Experience
    Regular
  • Role
    Spankee

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  1. Crying during and after a spanking seems difficult for most people. Some who have commented on this subject suggest that crying does not occur because the person being spanked does not have enough trust in the spanker. That may well be true, but I do not believe trust alone is sufficient. It's emotion that makes us cry. If someone is feeling very guilty or upset going into a spanking, crying becomes more of a possibility. In my case, in the many years my wife and I have been doing this, I only cried full out once and got halfway into crying once. In each instance, the spanking was long a
  2. I experienced the shame and thrill of exposure, but I experienced it vicariously. When I was 6 or 7 years old, the neighborhood kids got together and one of the girls, about my age, described how her younger brother (say 4 years old or 5) had his pants taken down and was spanked on his bare bottom. I felt a thrill when I heard this and thought it was exciting and scary at the same time. That was the beginning of my interest in spanking. In my own case, I was only spanked a couple of times as a kid, and those spankings were always on a fully clothed bottom. (They were by my mom). We can on
  3. I have to put my two cents worth in here. My wife is a vanilla spouse who is willing to spank me (and does) but, until the last year or so, did not like doing it. Over the years I've explained my spanking needs and wants to her. A couple of times I put it in writing -- in a letter. She ended up having a fairly negative reaction to it. For some reason, if I sit down with her and explain things it works, but the letters certainly did not. I don't know why she disliked the letter so much. I tried two letters and one email over the years (over a period of maybe 6 or7 years), and each time
  4. Lilac, You are right in saying that it is the emotion that brings on crying. In the past, I naively assumed that high pain levels would bring the emotion that would bring the crying. But that didn't happen, even at pain levels that for me were off the charts. What I discovered, and what prompted my post, is that long, sustained spanking creates the emotion -- in my case, the feeling of being overwhelmed -- that precipitates tears. I am delighted with my discovery because I have been trying for years to figure out what would do the trick and give me the crying release I desire. It's also
  5. Hello Minnie, The pain felt during a spanking can range from the easily tolerated to the totally intolerable. As a spankee, I find that if the pain is too light I feel okay during the spanking but feel disappointed afterward -- as you yourself have said. If the pain is intolerable during the spanking I absolutely hate the spanking while it is being delivered, but afterward I feel wonderful and satisfied. At truly intolerable levels I will try my darndest to escape, and at that point being over someone's knee probably won't work anymore under the spanker is much,much stronger than the perso
  6. I get a spanking from my wife once every two or three months, but there is not any kind of a domestic discipline relationship on an ongoing basis. It would be a little too much over the top for both us to have a DD relationship on a daily basis. When she spanks me, she comes up with one or more reasons to spank me, and I am lectured and scolded during the spanking itself. She is surprisingly skilled at this, and the scolding I get from her equals or exceeds anything I have ever seen on video. The reasons for spanking me are always real and never contrived. She is a vanilla spouse as far as
  7. Many of us people who like or need to be spanked have a desire to break down during the spanking and have a good, genuine cry with tears running down our face. I know I am in that category and, like many others, discovered that even really, really hard and painful spanking often does not create tears. Several days ago I had a spanking by my wife that had me at least part way into genuine crying (more on the part way stuff later). The spanking was not exceptionally severe (it was category four rather than category five in the Perceptions of Pain post), but it was long and sustained. It was
  8. The level of pain during a spanking fluctuates a fair amount. After a swat of the paddle or stroke of the strap or cane is given, the pain rises quickly to a peak and then begins to recede. If the swats are given quickly in succession, the peak level of one stroke is replaced by the peak level of the next, so there is a constantly high pain level. During breaks or pauses, the pain level diminishes. That being said, and admittedly this is all very imprecise, what would you say is your perception of the average pain level of the spankings you receive -- 1. It stings a bit, but I can bear i
  9. I also find it very difficult to cry during a spanking. My wife has been spanking me for 20plus years, and it has only happened once. I asked her to use the cane and keep spanking me until I cried, no matter how much I begged her to stop. Well! The pain was unbelievable (the whole thing probably took 5 or 6 minutes). And, truth be told, I still didn't cry during the spanking itself in terms of tears coming out. But after she stopped I cried for real, tears and sobbing, for several minutes. It's the emotion that causes crying, and pain is not a very efficient way to create emotion. It t
  10. You really do have a great collection. It's interesting how the shorter, smaller paddles can be (at least to me) a lot more painful than the longer, bigger ones. It's counter-intuitive. You would think the bigger paddle would hurt more. The "Holy Terror" paddle from Disciplinary Wives Club really, really hurts. It lives up to its billing. I was skeptical about the claims made on the website but took a flyer and bought it. You would never know it by looking at it. It is only 10 and one half inches long, fairly light and with lots of holes in it (and is 3/4 inch thick). I think what h
  11. You've probably thought about, perhaps a great deal, perhaps not, so here is the question: why do you want to be spanked? My own answer is that I like giving up power and control to my wife, to put myself entirely in her hands to spank as long and as hard as she wants, not as I want. I find this exciting both before and after the spanking, but not usually during the spanking itself because it hurts so much I quickly move to the point where I really, truly don't want it any more. Yet if she stops as soon as I reach this stage, I feel disappointed 5 minutes later. On the other hand, if it
  12. Crying during a spanking is an interesting topic. I only cried once, despite wanting to do so for many years. We agreed I would be "spanked until tears came". My wife used a paddle and cane on me while I was tied to the bed. The pain was unbelievable, but tears didn't come until the spanking was over. At that point, overwhelmed by the ordeal, I felt sorry for myself and tears ensued. I've read a number of opinions on this topic. One is that you have to trust the person who is spanking you and feel comfortable tearing up while being spanked by her or him. However, I totally trust my wi
  13. This is a great discussion. Like your husband, I have spanking needs that have been around since childhood. I was almost never spanked as a child. I feared spankings and made sure my behavior was such that I did not get one. At the same time, though, I could also feel a desire to get one. Talk about a conflict! For me, the spanking desire is cyclical (see post above). After I get one, I don't want or need another one for at least a couple of months if it has been a hard spanking. If the spanking is easy, say, 15 to 20 swats over one minute, it's not enough to satisfy my need and the n
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