Peanutty

Hmm 🧐… sorry, not sorry, given your profile openly stating you are a HC provider, I would think you wouldn’t be so snarky, think scientifically that your (or anyone’s) personal experiences aren’t acceptable as good data. Furthermore, I would hope that any of your related field’s generalist studies would make you consider this possibility in neurodivergent populations, some highly anxious people, and victims of trauma, especially sexual, &/or abused physically, especially, during childhood by a primary caregivers I would suspect a potential triggering, rather than therapeutic aspect, for example, with an individual whose abuse was during childhood was physical from a primary caregiver, especially if that person had mental illness, for example, borderline personality. I suspect you are familiar with the abuse cycle, and how the abuser can demand the abused love them again after harming them. This, I imagine, could continue to be the triggering aspect, rather than the physical abuse, as it is incredibly conflicting for a developing brain to process this, the faux intimacy for the abuser’s benefit bc they don’t want to feel guilty, nor lose the attention and satisfaction they receive by having the child’s unconditional love, regardless of what you do to them. I could see this too in a narcissistic parent, in addition to covert narcissistic ones. Maybe the adult spankee enjoys the spanking without the intimacy because they’re deeply processing the trauma and conflict that comes when someone who hurts you says they love you, and demands that love after they’ve hurt you, even rapid cycling back into rescinding the love, and immediately returning to uncontrollable, irrational violence if the abused refuses to comply and say they love them… literally because of that conflict.