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About Spankalogical

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  • Birthday 04/14/1990

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    RTP, North Carolina
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  1. From a personal belief and standpoint, I have to agree with the element of "To understand it, you must be able to endure it." For a simple phrase, it stands to reason, don't dish out what you can't take. Its a humbling experience, one that, I myself have been finding myself even seeking as of late. As a dominant for over 10 years, its something that, it does draw me to explore the line of being a switch, not just a pure disciplinarian 100% of the time, sometimes for my own accountability.
  2. There are many who feel that they should be given "maintenance" spankings as an ongoing "need-to-function" Level of discipline. This is not how discipline works and where it transitions from need to sexual gratification or even masochistic addiction. Accepting a punishment, seeking it out, understanding you need it or other things is one thing, but constantly requiring it to function properly as a human is another and quite frankly unhealthy level of discipline if your only goal is to "use it to function" or you as you put it look forward to your next punishment. If you are into being spanked or like impact play for more than just maintenance discipline fine and that is your decision to enjoy it. However, that does not bear the same weight and severity as a real punishment will and calling them the same things is nowhere near the correct way to express your desires.
  3. If they don't trust you enough to hand over their drivers license on request, you probably shouldn't be interacting with them.
  4. The absolute biggest advice to give, is TAKE YOUR BLOODY TIME!. Spanking isn't about a race to the finish, there is a journey to take and the last thing you wanna do if you are trying to spank with restrictions is rush through it like an eager teen during their first session. Go slow, don't forget to breath. Quality smacks over quantity of them will go a long way.
  5. I do believe there may be a problem with this test, as I am certainly not 22.
  6. Lots of people do hide behind the anonimity its true, but other things like IRL commitments, do come up. I know thats happened to me a lot, I've never been the 'best communicator' in any stands, and it's happened at times. Wether thru fear or through obligations, I get careless and forgetful, and I can go days without speaking to one person. I know it isn't good, but my brain doesn't process things the same way others do and it does make my relationships suffer. Not everyone is that self aware however, many are like redzonedefense says, they don't seek to be onest and hide behind anonymity.
  7. Games like Fortnite and Minecraft are quite the dangerous foray into what would really break the "addiction" category. Being categorically designed to invoke the pleasure center of the brain and becoming very pleasing to the mind to both watch and to play. I never got fortnite myself, it was... confusing... But I'm mentally FARRRR beyond the simplcities that the game presents. Minecraft however... the sandboxyness of it gives it a certain... something.
  8. The key to good care of your toys is knowing what to use with them for sure! Leather needs some sort of moisture, perferrably a conditioning oil or saddle soap like Needsitbad stated. I wouldn't say you need to do this often, certainly once every few weeks to be sure. Don't just soak it like a tool in oil, massage it in gently, get the oil over every part of the leather you want to keep up and let it soak in well, and it'll last years longer!
  9. Yes, this. We obviously and painfully live in an era where the court of public opinion will deem you irrevocably Guilty until Proven innocent, and Innocence does not equal absolution of false or inaccurate arrest or allegations, regardless how much you'd fight against it. To put one example bluntly, Rapists are still seen as "rapists" even if they are completely and 100% innocent, found innocent by the court. Public opinion is much harder to change now because everyone clings to the initial attack and the damage lasts for years. Just look at the aftermath of the now Infamous Duke Lacrosse case, even years before books like "50 Shades of Gray" and the movies came out, and our coveted BDSM was still a closeted issue. Before #metoo was a thing and long before anything was being done to out "offenders" and draw accusations out. Witchhunts happen, and even innocently taken, fun photos can start a firestorm in the media that ruins peoples lives once found or exposed. The Duke Lacrosse case, mostly was spun up due to one, solitary email without any pictures at all that got leaked to the public, and was the center of the entire case for quite a while. Tiny bits of digital information like that, are enough to make people run wild with accusations long before the "truth" comes to light. I say this, kinda jaded of course, and extremely redundantly, be careful with your images, be mindful of your choices. Trust your partner, and leave no evidence that might be incriminating in plain view or easy to access by those you wouldn't want to have it, especially if you are concerned with things like unwarranted searches at traffic stops or accidental viewing. What you do in the comfort of your bedroom, consensual or not, can still be used against you if the wrong person sees just a tiny peek of your life, and it has the potential to blow up in your face.
  10. Welcome in and very nice to meet you, I'm sure there are more than one or two people here that would love to talk your ear off.
  11. As someone who has recently started going to counsiling and therapy... its certainly a relief to find someone who doesn't outright judge you for your beliefs or for your participation in extra-extra-curricular activites. It's always been one of my major fears, and it did come to pass with my first therapist who started outright judging me for my decisions, for my lifestyle and for the choices that had been made for me, with or without my consent. I am a Spanker, and a Top, but lately, I certainly haven't felt like it lately. Trying to open up is hard, and having a medical professional who takes to their confidentiality does help to ease some of the tension regarding opening up about some things. Ultimately, what we are involved in should be treated with care, because whether we like it or not it is not up to us wether there is a large outpouring of support or condemnation on mutually assured discipline and play. It is sad though, that people in those professions will still make their judgements though, or go against that wall of good faith. I always pressure caution on who you reveal your secrets to, just to be safe. Just to protect yourself, so I can understand when someone decides that, there are a few photos that just need to never see the light of day again, even if they are wonderful memories.
  12. I agree with all the above so far with it being a mixed bag and a difficult situation. While on one hand, I can certainly see the benefits of a spanking and its effects that it has on some people, to the point of it almost being similar to a drug, there is certainly another side that can create a lot of additional tension and cause different kinds of strain on an already taxed and stressed mind. Therapeutic spanking can be lots of fun, it can even help combat certain kinds of stress. It would REALLY, REALLY depend on the communication level, trust and experience between the spanker and spankee to decide whether it is a good thing or not. What I would definitely say is that self spanking is right out, taking self discipline into your own hands when in a compromised state is very likely to end in a traumatic situation. Complex emotions and situations need very careful thought before proceeding with any serious level of play. Some would certainly say best to avoid until all else has been cleared off the table... but it's the responsibility of those who seek and give to ultimately heed that wisdom.
  13. Honestly, the simplicity of the name as it stands "SpankingNeeds" is a very encompassing and neutral statement of a name. Like mentioned previously, changing the name to be more exclusive or otherwise invites alot of the wrong crowd in. It would turn this from a learning and community area to another haven for sites like Fetlife that are already struggling to keep up appearances in a highly political environment. Changing the name to something more "risque" or "PC" will only aid to further alienate members who seek true assistance and community, alienate the members who wouldn't agree, and invite in the kind of people a name change like that would aim to restrict in the first place.
  14. Well... would love to see one used then... We may need a model in the house first though.
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