brittygirl

We have no requirements surrounding any part of our spanking relationship, but I like to use “sir” because honorifics are a big part of my kink.

This needs to be something you take very slowly and with great care and with enthusiastic consent from your partner. It’s VERY easy to bruise that area and cause problems. My husband and I play this way often but it’s always VERY light play especially with implements. He one time gave me a few moderate smacks with a wooden spoon and I was bruised for almost two weeks and had some issues with tenderization while using the bathroom. It wasn’t a good time lol

Honestly, I hope any young, beautiful 18-25 year old women who see this know it’s a big red flag and move on.

This is 100% me. I TFTB a lot because my husband isn’t a natural spanko. It took a long time to get where we are. But I will say, he has asked me to stop doing it and that it bothers him and makes him feel like I think he’s incapable, so I reign it in a lot more now.

Our spankings have evolved a lot from over the time we’ve been really exploring TTWD, and I’ve found my greatest preference is the spanking starting OTK over my pajama bottoms then progress to bare and implements. Usually I’m spanked by hand, wooden spoon, and small paddle OTK, then I go to the corner for a “break,” and my spanking finishes there with the belt. It’s my favorite order of things and we’ve gotten pretty routine with that!

Many have already said it here but spanking is a kink/fetish. The same way I’d never be into pee-play, many partners are icked by genuine spanking. I feel like I’ve got a pretty good success story with my husband who is not a spanko at all, but has come around over the years to being able to deliver quite a good spanking, but is it natural to him? No. Does he think about spanking the way I do? No.

Almost always downstairs and far away from the little ones. Living room couch is our go too!

Hi and welcome! I encourage you to take a look around the site and get some honest opinions and takes on the subject you’ve posted about above. There are a lot of members who’ve been in the same boat as you (me included!) who should be able to offer you insights. You are also going to run into a lot of fake, make believe takes so read those and take them with a huge grain of salt. I applaud you for being open and honest with your wife about what you’d REALLY like—which is spanking. Us spankos have a hard wired need, and often I see people who are adamant that they want DD because they need the accountability and discipline when in reality, they just want the spankings. For you, it appears cold showers were truly something you don’t like and may actually help in changing behaviors, whereas spankings are something you WANT and want therefore could land you in the slippery slope of acting out in order to get them. If this all sounds familiar to you, you are in the same boat as me. My husband and I landed on “funishments” for our happy medium. I do NOT need discipline in the real world, I’m an adult and spanking me for things like not doing chores wouldn’t work for me because I LOVE to be spanked, but for totally made up scenarios? They are a dream! We have a jar of “punishment” scenarios that are totally made up and when we want to play, he will pick one and we roleplay it. I also share videos with him often of spankings I like or scolding videos that do it for me. Total game changer! I wish you luck on your journey!

It is absolutely cheating. It’s also lying, and sneaking around. Imagine this in any other scenario—spanking is a fetish and it’s intimate. Would you be comfortable if your partner was sneaking around with people behind your back because it benefits her? How about if your partner finds out what you’re doing, what will their reaction be? Probably not positive.

I think Ross is probably correct here. It sounds like she was not a spanko but was intrigued by you and what you were proposing for the relationship and that she may have used it in place of therapy at the time. Now she may be looking back at it as something that was not beneficial to her as a non-spanko, but was sexually gratifying to you as a spanko.

I was super into pop Katy Perry, Drake, Kesha, Rihanna were some of my faves.

We’re all spankos who want to be spanked, I don’t necessarily believe spanking works as deterrents for people who want to be spanked. But I have a lot of fun fantasying about punishments! And roleplaying them with my partner.

My favorites are the wooden hairbrush and our small OTK paddle. My husband’s favorite is the wooden spoon and his belt. He once spanked me with the plastic rod that came off our window. I did NOT care for that.

More likely you’d need to travel to a bigger city, but we were from a very small town and were able to find one just in the next town over. They tend to just be aware of kinks/bdsm and can help you through that. The ones who really specialized in kink therapy were located in the big city about an hour from us.

Have you tried a kink-friendly therapist? I highly recommend this for both your situation AND your wife’s past trauma.