nicoleS39

Good points....yes...I do feel like we have been "evolving" in our relationship and spanking dynamic. We have discussed this and we both feel we very much still want and need to maintain an intense disciplinary dynamic....but we are more and more allowing the sexual tone of intimacy more freedom to be indulged....as an affirmation the loving discipline....or...as just plain lust....lol.

Good points. I agree.... the purpose of the spanking is paramount. Certainly, sex can be an affirmation of continued love after the disciplinary issue has been "resolved"....and for many folks the time delay would actually be non beneficial in the relationship. But, I guess for us...we felt the need to use a "time delay" to help us both maintain the distinction between "disciplinary spanking" and sex. The "black and white" simplicity has really helped me to keep things straight. I think my husband may not have needed that simplistic approach as I did, but he has probably accommodated my simpler "black and white" mindset. But yes....certainly...not everybody has the same need as I do...to separate the two by time delay.

For us....for a number of years in our marriage, 11 or 12 actually... my spankings from my husband were not "sexual" in the sense that they led to or brought sexual intercourse or even arousal that led to sex. But yes, looking back, I see where both of us were at times aroused. But....our agreed upon protocol for those years was that we would never "have sex" immediately after or right before or during a spanking. The spankings were for the focused purpose of discipline only. Now...we had lots of sex...lol...but it was separated by hours and sometimes even "days"...sigh...from the time a spanking took place. So...during those years....my husband primarily being the strong self controlled person, more so than me....the blurring of disciplinary spanking and sexual spanking was really not an issue for us. Even though I was aroused, I knew better than to even think about sex during spanking or close by...aroused or not...for either of us. Anything distracting from the objective of discipline in my spankings...only got me more or harder spanking. It was viewed as a distraction of the purpose for my spankings by mutual agreement. Only about 3 or 4 years ago did my husband start spanking me OTK to relieve my stress or anxiety, and he began fondling me in sexual ways...and there was no association with punishment for something I had done wrong. Since then...our spanking has been for still mostly discipline...but now and then sex now and then...and not related to discipline.

Ahh...sorry about the "no breaks" in my writing. I guess I was in a bit of a hurry this morning. I will try to do better in the future...I mean...it does not take me any extra time to start a new paragraph...lol. Sorry once again.

I am thinking yes. I know that I, as a spankee, sometimes do that. Two mornings ago, I let my husband down by forgetting to get our license plates renewed. I had said I would take care of it two months ago...put the paperwork in my back pack...then puff...life happened and I just forgot. My husband asked the night before if it had been done. He caught it in time, but because of my schedule I could no longer get it taken care of myself...so he had to take time away from work to do it...otherwise they would be expired. For us, this was very much a disciplinary spanking offense.So...yes...he tanned my hide but good. I bent over and got the school paddle over nothing but my panties, then arms over head and he wore my bare bottom and thighs out with his belt. No fun in this...I was bawling and wailing and not saying...."thank you"....but all I could say was...."I'm sorry...sorry" between sobs and yelps of many swats of the belt, and his continued lecturing comments as he punished me. Afterwards. I found myself over his knee...getting a long hard hand spanking I thought would never end. So...now...as we have done done...I am on my knees in front of him, resting my head in his lap as he sits on the armless chair....and he is letting me cry it all out as he comforts me and strokes my hair. Well....I just want to show him my love...kind of make it up to him for the inconvenience my carelessness had caused him....so I start kissing his bulge and trying to undo his zipper with my teeth. Not a wise move....he definitely kept it disciplinary. While I knew he would like me to do that...I once again found myself back over his knee and getting spanked with his hand again...for trying to turn this spanking into a sexual moment. He made it clear..."that" would have to wait until later...and that "this" was all about disciplining me. I wound up red butt, arms folded behind my back, nose in the corner...while he took a shower....alone without me. I was allowed to shower after he had dressed and was walking out the doirvto go to the BMV and then work. I later apologized to him...we have been having more sexual erotic spankings of late, and I guess I just kind of forgot...we are still very much in agreement to continue our disciplinary dynamic. I blurred the line between the two...but it is good he remained strong and kept us on the right path for us. I was sore all day yesterday and slept on my tummy last night...but...I deserved it and I am glad he is a strong living man for me when I need it most. Do any of you sometimes have lines blur between disciplinary and sexual spankings? Just curious.

Thank you for sharing this intimate erotic experience you guys enjoyed.

I meant to say..."without" the police being called...a typo...sorry. 😀

Oh my....such an embarrassing spanking...lol. Wow...I read this and find myself thinking...what "if" the world we live in today were a much different place, and simething such as this could actually happen with the police immediately being calked and an arrest being made. Of course, just a fantasy....but a fun one. Thank you for sharing.

So sorry your wife passed. I cannot begin to imagine the void and loneliness you feel. You shared this special intimacy we all discuss in this place, but I am sure that is just one part of the loss you are feeling. My hopes that one day you find the right person...if that is what you desire...to share life's journey with you again. May God bless you.

Thank you for sharing. My husband spanking me is mostly about discipline. It has been for 15 years and counting...but the last few years we have experienced these kinds of wonderful erotic and intimately..."glorious" moments as well. I just want you to know...it keeps getting better 😀😀.

That seems appropriate...make the punishment fit the "crime" in such a way to right the wrong. My husband does this when he sees a way to do it appropriately.

lol...yes...you might very well be right. I crave what I crave because of what I am. Thank you sir.

Interesting perspective...thank you. You are right though...there has been nothing but good in all this for me and my husband. There is good in my need for pain...lol...never stated or thought that before. So...the craving is just a part of making it genuine, and not just "play" for us. True...I am submissive by choice...I love serving his needs and desires. I do not see that in and of itself as connected with a craving for pain...it is a pleasure for me actually. But...I do believe that painful spankings "influence" the quality of that aspect of our marriage.

Thank you for your comments....and love your pun humor😊. Honestly...I do not feel I crave being "abused." I have no desire to be beaten or kicked or in some other way being abused and injured. Honestly, the cruelty and disregard for my overall well being in abusing me would make me leave him in a heart beat. I think my desire for real pain is related only to his discipline and spanking/whipping me...corporal punishment if you will. However, he does very much exert control over me, as I give myself to him in submission. I am submissive...that is true...but I do not really connect my submission and service to him as his wife...with pain. It does involve humble humility at times, but I do not associate that with pain like spanking should be. You know...I have no idea what I would do if he decided to limit or stop punishing me severely altogether. I cannot imagine me spanking myself, although I have met many here who do that and apparently find fulfillment in that. But, I doubt I would have the inner strength to do so to the level of severity I crave. Was I abused as a child? Well...by my definition, I would say no...but by modern interpretations prevalent today...absolutely. I mean...no "abuse" sexually for sure...never ever. Lots of spankings...paddlings...strappings....and as I got older, my mother used a buggy whip on me. But honestly, I deserved every one...I was a hand full...and growing up Amish, spankings were very normal. But...I would say I was abused...so to speak...emotionally...as my mother was always angry with me... never encouraging or even loving like a normal mother would be.