I wear my Switch Button proudly, but there are pros and cons when it comes to participating in the Spanko Community as such. And this is my opinion only not to be taken for gospel or absolutes.
Pros:
§ Experiencing a wider spectrum of the lifestyle
§ Enhanced insights on how both mindsets work
§ Diversity of play
§ Choices
Cons:
§ Self -Limiting potential play partners
§ Disrespect within the community
§ Living within a world that has hard wired absolute value systems
§ Perceived weakness
§ Not worthy of Top designation
§ Seen as simply being bottoms masquerading as Tops
§ Perceived as manipulators
This is something that I have experienced almost exclusively in the Spanko Community. Being someone who has played in the Kink community as a whole I have found the Spanko community to be much more judgmental of Male Switches than any other segment. And no doubt there are truths to both the Pros and Cons.
I believe the Spanko Community could benefit from taking a closer look at what Switches both Male and Female bring to the table that makes the community richer and more inclusive of a broadening world.
Above all else I am Spanko who doesn’t limit myself to the term. I am Player who loves both sides of this TTWD. I use the terms only because labels are how this world operates to identify. I began my life as a Spanko long before I knew there was an actual thing to ascribe a name to. So much of how I see myself and how I define my personal relationships have nothing to do with the labels and nomenclature I found when I arrived at the doorsteps of the Kink world. I had lived in two marriages that were defined by an order, a head of the household, clear lines of consequence and accountability and spanking as a result of resolution. In one I was clearly the HOH and in another I was certainly involved in a Female Led Relationship and in each we were equal partners in our lives together. In other words, I was a Switch before I ever heard the term.
As I have seen more and more younger Players entering the Kink community with a less restrictive let’s play in this box in the manner printed on the outside, I would think that we, the old guard would embrace an evolution that not only takes us outside the box but crushing all the boxes altogether.
But I am curious about what others have to say on this subject pro or con.