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Everything posted by DiscreetSpanko8

  1. The first option there, especially when accompanied by a saucy wink or just a certain indescribable look, that is the best! Gets me fired up instantly, every time. 😈🔥
  2. Spoons definitely, they're extremely versatile, easy to come by, and vary in weight length so much that you can get a tremendous range of effects if you experiment. Even a small spoon can be extremely effective if you focus in on one spot for repeated smacks, or you can spread the wealth as it were to keep your spankee guessing. I do love spoons! Ping pong paddles are, as @Chawseementioned, easy to come by and a good introductory implement. I actually picked up a pickleball paddle the other day at Walmart just to try it out and got an excellent response. Very satisfying sound, but not as much weight as even a small hardwood paddle, good coverage and more stingy than thuddy I was told. Didn't mark up much, just left a rosy glow but it was a lasting shade which was nice. I liked the larger size, it's basically just an XL ping pong paddle. Fun!
  3. I'm really enjoying this discussion and seeing how everyone's perspectives differ on the topic. For me personally I've played (not counting parties and random slosh hookups in years past) with partners ranging from around 15 years younger to 20ish years older than myself. I can't say that the age of my partner has ever correlated consistently with a "type", at least not as far as I can tell. Emotional maturity doesn't seem to have much relation to chronological maturity. This may be due in part to the type of play partners I find attractive, and vice versa. This is all in relation to spanking obviously. I don't do vanilla dating anymore, it just doesn't work for me, but in terms of this lifestyle I honestly don't care about my partners age if we're compatible. I have a session planned with a wonderful lady who is 9 years older than me Wednesday and I'm incredibly excited about it because we match up almost perfectly I'm terms of spankompatibility. Which I have just decided is my new go to phrase. I may write a monologue on the subject. What I care about in a partner is similar/complementary tastes and desires. That's about it. Everything else is secondary. My 2 cents;) Also, @CaliSpanker53, I love that you used a Satchel Paige quote in your OP! One of my all time favorites. Between him and Yogi Berra you can find a quote that is apropos in almost any discussion. And he made his catcher's job so easy. No need to memorize signs or anything. Just blazing fastballs every single pitch, for longer by far than any modern player could manage. So yah, kudos for the Paige quote lol.
  4. Etsy is probably my go to nowadays. Not really much I need to buy anymore unless I'm replacing an item I gifted, or something just caught my eye. I do tend to pick up wooden spoons a fair amount because you can never have too many, and bed bath and beyond has, in my opinion, the best possible bath brush for those special occasions:)
  5. I would say around 90% of my sessions are funishment. And 8% stress relief, and 2 % actual discipline/punishment. In large part because I'm just not good at being a disciplinarian. I enjoy spanking too much, and I want my partner to as well if possible. People needing a serious discipline type session can find literally almost anyone better than me for it lol. Made up discipline as part of role play is something else though, I love those! Something really out there if possible. Judicial "punishment" for cat burglarizing a wild west museum comes to mind. All sorts of leather, riding crops, etc. Had to stay with the theme lol. Anyway, to answer your original question, yes. Funishment/fantasy is my forte.
  6. @gravano, I'm sorry you ended up in that situation. I've met sadists who would play that way before. It's not something I consider acceptable. If it's truly consensual play with a masochist then they're both adults and can do what they want. If the goal is to break someone, to actually damage them, then it's just abuse. Again, sorry to hear about your experience.
  7. They are relevant, but only insofar as my partner requires. I have had some partners who absolutely needed to cry, especially during stress relief sessions, or it just wouldn't work for them. I've had other partners, more of them in fact, who absolutely don't cry. Granted most of the people I've played with in recent years are spankos like me, who just enjoy the spanking, but even back when I was doing more "discipline-esque" stuff (upon request, obviously), some EEs just don't cry. Everyone reacts differently, and one would hope that no top would continue past the point they should for the sake of seeing tears. You stop when your partner has had enough, period. Enough to achieve whatever you wanted out of the scene, whether it's stress relief, funishment, pure pleasure, or some sort of discipline/dom/sub type thing. Tears in and of themselves are inconsequential unless they're part of your personal dynamic with your EE.
  8. Have to go with AG on this one. I almost never play at hotels anymore, I just have absolutely no exhibitionist in me. Even if I did, it would be unwanted oversharing. Plus there could be kids walking the hall, or... I dunno. Nuns? My old high school teachers? Rosalyn Carter? The pope? Nah, that sign is a no for me.
  9. Welcome! Nothing like a good old fashioned wooden hairbrush:) They don't make em like they used to unfortunately, unless you get one custom ordered. Or just pick up a nice hardwood bath brush of course! Anyway, glad to have you here, happy spanking!
  10. Welcome to the site! With an introduction like that I'm sure you'll find plenty of stimulating conversations here. Also, @Chawsee, that emoji is amazing lol
  11. Welcome to the site! Lots of nice folks here to chat with:)
  12. Oooh, tough one. Probably have to go with Elizabeth Hurley. Or Diana Rigg. Or Thandie Newton. I'm not an anglophile though I realize my top 3 make it seem that way. It's partially that I think that accent would lend a lot of spice to the proceedings, and also because I've had a thing for those 3 for a long time lol:) Let's see, non UK celeb who would be fun to spank.... Oh! Katy Perry. I bet that would be a blast;-D I do like this topic.
  13. Depends on my partner. I would say 70% of my partners over the years, by which I mean people with whom I've had multiple sessions, preferred to be marked to varying degrees each time. Maybe 80. The rest needed at least a solid red, and usually we didn't use much in the way of implements in those cases, just long handspanking with maybe a light paddle or silicone spoon. The common reason I've heard is that medium to heavy marking extends the length of time a bottom feels warm/glowing post session. If one is in a live-in relationship with their top/bottom it's different. Leaving marks becomes more of a special occasion thing if you're gonna be spanking someone multiple times a week. Or multiple times a day depending on how into it you and your partner may be;) Also, most people I play with are spankos, thats who I gravitate toward and presumably vice versa. We love to spank, or in their case be spanked. My assumption is that for punishment/discipline focused tops the percentage would be higher, but I don't actually know. Most of my playmates have been doing this awhile, and a non marking session would leave them feeling unfulfilled. I don't mind hands only playtime, though my personal preference is for heavier wood implements. It just depends on the bottom. If my partners need heavier marking or want lighter marking it all works for me. I don't do broken skin though. Barring minor implement related issues (switches) I'm not up for skin breaks.
  14. Funishment or just pure play 80% of the time. Maybe 10 to 15% stress relief. Rarely any disciplinary, and then typically for a regular play partner who happens to feel a need.
  15. For restraints, I find thrift store scarves to be the best option. Typically super cheap, you can cut em if ya like and you're out a quarter, and they tend to leave less in the way of restraint marks than even soft rope does. Your mileage may vary of course, just my preference. Honestly though, cautious observation and care by your top will be key. Of course, reach backs will probably result in increased intensity (they do with me anyway) so that reinforcement may help you remember to work on self control. Might be advisable to try some softer implements (leather/silicone) while unrestrained, then if you're having difficulty keeping hands forward switch to restraints of some sort before using harder (wood) implements? Just a possible option to consider. Have fun and spank safe:)
  16. It can be at times. But I can usually find somebody to talk to, from this site or one of the others I browse. I keep so busy that I don't really have time to dwell on it now. 80ish or more hours a week at work, and when I have a rare day off I tend to go hiking or work on projects I've been putting off. In fact, I may go hiking shortly once I finish off my coffee, it's looking like a beautiful day for it. But at times, usually late nights when everyone I know is sleeping and I'm trying to catch up on work, sure it can get lonely. Thing is, I assume if I was NOT a spanko, if I was a regular guy that had no iota of interest in the spanko lifestyle, I'd still be lonely at those times. In a sense, loneliness seems to be part of the human condition, and everyone copes with it in their own way. Best of luck.
  17. In terms of "best possible means of getting my point across" I'd say the most effective is a heavy teak bathbrush. 30 bucks at bed bath and beyond! https://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/store/product/haven-teakwood-2-in-1-back-brush-massager/1060436276?keyword=wooden+brush&skuId=60436276 Thought it was actually a bit pricier than that but I assume we can trust their website. It is very... forthright. In terms of my actual favorite, definitely a spoon. That way I can spend a nice long time delivering a lesson, as opposed to a few minutes with a bath brush. Time and place for everything of course, but if I can deliver a punishment over the course of 90 minutes or the same lesson in 5 or 10, I'll take 90 every time. Granted, ~my~ preference would be for a few hours of funishment over the other options, but in terms of pure effective punishment, it's hard to beat a heavy teak bathbrush!
  18. I'm on a bit of a classic comedy song kick today. Got my Ray Stevens playlist going lol. Brings back memories of my youth since the parents loved him and we always though he was super funny. At this very moment it's the barber song, next up is mississippi squirrel revival.
  19. In my experience (mostly roleplay scenarios) it's best done either after or between impact play, as opposed to during. Keeping it in your mouth during leads to a much higher incidence of either inhaling or swallowing soap suds, and neither is something you want. Inhaling would be bad for obvious reasons, and tough to avoid if you don't remove the soap prior to application of spanks to backside. Swallowing will often make you sick to your stomach. In addition to avoiding swallowing, and the subsequent possible vomiting, please don't use a new brand you've never tried before. Had a case many years ago in which my spankee had an allergic reaction to a new bar she had purchased specifically for that purpose. Not to the soap but to a chemical (probably a fragrance) in the soap. Thankfully it was not a severe reaction, but even a mild one can be problematic given that the mouth is part of the airway. For her it was just irritation of the skin and mucus membrane but swelling of any part of the airway could be disastrous. I do always keep an epi pen in my bag nowadays just in case. Although even if an epi pen is handy, please contact medical help immediately if you need to use it. It's not a magic wand, it's a tool that buys you another 15 to 30 minutes to get to a paramedic or an ER, if you're lucky. Sometimes people forget that and situations spiral out of control. #PSA Have fun!
  20. Sorry to hear about that Dunelmman. I haven't run into it much on this site, though some other sites it's pretty common, and one in particular I used to frequent I may actually have been the only non bot/scammer/fake acct on the entire site, since I got a fairly constant stream of PMs that followed 4 basic identical templates with clearly fake photos attached and oddly spaced fill in the blank messages. It's definitely frustrating, and all I can suggest is to focus on folks post history here and seek out folks you want to chat with based on that. I will say it gets irritating when you get PMs that make it blatantly clear that the person either hasn't looked at your profile or any of your posting history or, worse in my opinion, has done so and simply doesn't care. We are human beings, not bargain bin sex toys at a Spencer's gifts or whatever. I won't respond to that sort of message anymore personally, it's a waste of effort to argue with some anonymous internet person whose narcissism is so intense they can completely disregard the personality/nature of one with whom they're attempting to converse. I will say, It seems to be quite a bit worse for females on some sites. No direct knowledge of this one but a former partner showed me her acct on the site where we met one day and it was horrifying. Literally hundreds of messages, most of them poorly worded, insulting, explicit, denigrating, filthy, most with an attached explicit pic that was unsolicited and, as one would know based on a cursory glance at her profile, unwanted, lacking practically any punctuation, and completely disregarding everything on her profile. Which was shocking because her profile was exceptionally well put together, detailed, and clear. That was a rarity on that particular site, and what caused me to begin messaging her in the first place. How she even saw my message through the flood of sewage in her inbox I have no idea. We had a nice time though. Anyway, I can only hope that sort of situation doesn't happen here, though I can only say it doesn't happen to me here, for which I am thankful. thankfully. In summary: best of luck to you moving forward, don't let em get ya down, keep on truckin etc. There honestly are a good percentage of real, nice, actual people on here. Much higher than the percentages on some other sites! Have a great day.
  21. I'm not a hoh or mentor etc, but as a top I do have set standards to which I hold myself. Primarily, my responsibility is to ensure the safety and well-being, physical and emotional, of my partner. That encompasses a lot of things, but it mostly boils down to self control and knowing my partner. I will obviously enjoy myself, and I fervently hope my partner will as well, but I can't really "lose myself" in the moment, because I've had partners before who consider it a point of pride to not use a safeword, and however enjoyable a session may be, under no circumstances is causing actual harm to a spankee acceptable. Not just physically, depending on implement skin can break and bruising is not uncommon nor (often) unwanted. But whatever someone's personal pain tolerance may be, there's an emotional toll as well that needs to be considered. In a discipline scenario a spanking that is less physically forceful than a funishment spanking a week prior can cause a much heavier emotional strain due to the guilt or sadness or what have you brought on by the act that incited said discipline. That's just one example. Bottom line, as a top it's my personal responsibility, self assigned, to make sure my partner is getting her needs met in a safe way. To reiterate, this is my personal standard, that I chose. I don't presume to dictate behavior to anyone else, in my personal life at least. Everyone needs to make their own choices, and live with them. Great topic by the way! I look forward to hearing how everyone else feels. Personal ethics are always tailored to the individual, naturally, so this should be a good discussion.
  22. Welcome! I am, alas, not a disciplinarian, but I'm a very experienced top so if you want to chat I'm available. I'm sure you'll find plenty of helpful folks around here, Indiana has a decent spanko population:). Have fun, be safe, and happy spanking!
  23. Hey there, welcome to the site:)
  24. I think sometimes folks may anticipate an almost Tinder/Bumbl/whateverotherapp sort of situation with regards to ads here. But firstly; this isn't a hook-up site, and secondly the audience while not miniscule is tiny in comparison to those of the aforementioned places. Plus, how many here are actually single and/or looking, and local, and interested in what's being offered (given the immense variety of spanko types) etc. If I were desperate for companionship and reliant entirely on a forum that may have half a dozen people in my area who ~might~ be a good match, I would probably need to expand my horizons somewhat. Granted I'm saying this as someone who recently posted an "ad" myself haha. But I'm a realist. I did get a couple replies from the friendly folks here, and a couple private messages as well, though the latter were from people who may not have actually read my "ad". I don't particularly like the term to be honest, too mad men for my taste. I'm not an Amana refrigerator. Anyway, though I did post one I don't necessarily mind if it doesn't come to much. I just happened to want to meet a new playmate who shares my taste. Anyone who's spoken with me or read my post history knows what I'm about, and anyone I'd be interested in meeting would be the sort who would check my posts before initiating contact so... Whatever happens happens. This is about spanking, and for myself, that means it should be about enjoyment and satisfaction. C'est la vie. My 2 pennies.
  25. So it looks like you can buy some of them at least from Etsy. 18 to 30 bucks an issue, guessing they go quick because the first couple I clicked on were sold out. They do appear to have a couple for sale though. Decisions decisions...
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