ChicagoLady

Hi NASBB - I think it is so important that EEs understand that the level of spanking severity their bare bottom can endure can be indicated not only during, not only immediately after, but also several hours to a day after the spanking. For example, I was also new to spanking and my second ER was a Mentor. We agreed that my first disciplinary spanking would be with his hand and hairbrush for continued bad habits, nothing like a hard punishment spanking He put me over his lap and did a short warm up, then spanked hard with his hand followed by a small plastic hairbrush that was very thin. That was new as my first ER spanked with larger, paddle like hairbrushes. For every smack, I could feel the thin hairbrush sink deep into my bare bottom. I thought OMG, this is going to be a painful spanking. He didn’t spank as hard as he did with his hand, but spanked longer. I was squirming and just started to cry. But felt I could take it, when I got close to using my safe word he stopped. I was sent to the corner for 20 minutes and then received aftercare including lotion on my sore bare bottom. Then I sat down and my bottom was in incredible, deep pain at the muscular level. I had been spanked by my first ER plenty of times but had never felt anything similar after his hairbrush spankings. I immediately stood up in surprise and shock, he brought two ice bags after they melted he brought two more. My bottom had never felt this way. He stayed with me. We kind of laughed about the melting ice and how his little, plastic hairbrush delivered such a severe spanking. The pain increased as I drove home. As soon as I looked in the mirror I saw my bottom was a large blotch of purple, not my typical range of pink to crimson. It was so painful that I had to sleep on small ice packs. When I woke up the next morning, my rear was still in deep pain and by now the large purple blotch was full of an array of dark black and blue bruises. It was painful to sit for an entire week and took longer for the bruises to heal and go away (about a week and a half). Outcomes of my first ER’s spankings were light bruising and perhaps two or three days of painful sitting. This was so different. I learned that thin hairbrushes or canes, those that spank at a deeper muscular level than the surface and a few top layers deeper, are WAY to severe for me. My bare bottom can not endure them. I learned that feelings and indications of severity differ from during, immediately after, and several hours to a day after a hard spanking. During a spanking I am focused on the mental and physical experience. If it is extremely painful, then it feels so good when it ends. Immediately after I experience the high and soothing aftercare, but then hours after to a day later my body indicates the true level of severity my bare bottom endured. So I encourage lighter implements in the beginning so you can build up to severity. A good and experienced ER will not give you an extremely severe first time spanking. Your bottom will be too tender and you need to have a positive first time spanking experience as it will shape how you feel about ERs and spankings from then on. It can also be good for the first spanking to be an Introductory Spanking: try out different positions for effectiveness and comfort, different types of spankings and implements, how will a spanking progress, how loud does a safe word need to be, how do you communicate during the spanking, how does corner time feel, what is effective after care, how does scolding during a spanking feel, etc. Use mini spankings for this so you can try many types and implements. My first ER did this and it was so helpful for both of us. I hope this is helpful!

A great way to start a ER/EE marriage, setting the tone and roles early. And doing what you love and what will bond you together in your own special way throughout your marriage! Over the Lap you Go - You are a very strong leader for her, I can tell.

I agree, weekly hard and long maintenance spankings (treated as a disciplinary reminder of how the EE will be spanked if they broke a rule) can decrease the number of punishment spankings. Thus creating a stronger bond between the ER/EE as they work together preventing disciplinary issues from expanding into major offenses deserving of severe and more intense punishment.

Hi B - Are you comfortable with asking her to give you maintenance spankings? Maybe weekly or every other week so you are getting spanked on a regular basis and since it is predetermined you don’t have to ask! CL

Since I am not operating by this rule now and it has been near the single digits in Chicago, I have been wearing jeans when out, sometimes leisure pants at home. But I do prefer winter skirts and dresses when it is above 30 degrees. I’m not disappointed if an ER doesn’t want to use these rules as an increased element of his control. It is up to the ER. But I do think it is a great idea for long distance spanking partnerships / relationships. Also, I did enjoy it!

Very true! Perhaps I was a little bossy and over enthusiastic. I should just respect guests for where they are and may want to remain.

Yes! We would love to meet you! Some of us would love to spank you! Some of us would love to be over your knee getting spanked by you! Some of us just want to know your spanking fantasies! All are welcome!!

Wow! A belting for that is serious, but I know that is the nature of your DD relationship. If I fumbled it up, it would be addressed during my upcoming bedtime spanking. Somewhat disciplinary and sensual, my ERs would not have treated that as a punishment itself.

Hi Mr. Cane - We met this fall and have been progressively building trust. He disciplines me now but we haven’t entered the stage of setting rules.

Hi Mr. Cane - I was referring to two previous ERs. My current ER does not have these rules. One ER had a first rule about choosing my intimates, a second rule about wearing skirts and dresses (I could choose the skirts and dresses myself unless he had a specific request), and a third rule about asking permission to wear pants or jeans. The second ER had a rule about wearing skirts or dresses everyday and sending him a pic of what I wore that day. For him also, I was able to choose the skirts and dresses unless he had a specific request. What is interesting is that you mention a rule both ERs insisted upon concerning removal of panties. The rule I agreed to with each ER (full consent) was I would remove my panties upon their command - at home or in public. But both ERs agreed they would not command this during work hours. But I could be told prior. If it was a long skirt or dress I would sometimes be told not to wear panties that day. Sometimes it would happen in public. For example out at a restaurant, “Young lady go to the washroom right now, remove your panties, and bring them to me”. My response: “Yes, Sir.” It led to some very fun activities! 😉 Again we discussed all these rules with my full consent prior to their application. It was a great way for my ERs to exhibit control and a great way for me to demonstrate my submission and obedience to them throughout the day. These rules made us both happy!

Mr. Cane - Could you please expand upon what a punishment uniform would entail? I haven’t heard that term before. Thanks, CL

In my opinion, a wedding night otk spanking and daily honeymoon spankings using a different implement for each day, would be a great way for an EE and ER to begin their marriage!

Since I tend to be aroused during hand and hairbrush spankings, I have this discussion with potential ERs as we plan our first session. I bring it up several times so there is no doubt that this may (and probably will) happen. I want my ERs to be aware and discuss how he would interpret and react to my arousal. Especially if we have agreed to be platonic. Sometimes they place a small towel on their lap. I always explain that hand and hairbrush spankings are extremely sensual and arousing as I am over his lap feeling a sense of spanking intimacy. He is spanking my bare bottom after all. The arousal is also due to his ER role since he is demonstrating and I am feeling his authority, dominance, and control. As the spanking proceeds and gets longer and harder, my arousal fades. Since I am feeling the pain and focused on the actual punishment and my remorse. I am never aroused while paddled, slippered, or strapped. So far, all of my ERs have agreed to accept my arousal as my natural EE spanking reaction and none have either humiliated me nor administered additional punishment.

Thanks for inquiring Mr Cane - Yes, definitely for that ER! I ❤️ skirts and dresses and definitely prefer them over pants and jeans anyway. I don’t even own a pair of shorts, I am always in skirts and dresses all spring and summer. I wear skirts and dresses at work (even remote), going out (weather permitting), and always in the presence of my ER. Like Nicole above, I also wear sport skirts / skorts for exercise (weather permitting), gardening, errands, housework, etc. Of course they are an appropriate length. For some ERs, this has been so important that we agreed (full consent) to make it a rule. My best friend has the same agreement with her husband and they both enjoy this as an aspect of his control in their marriage. Of course we also agreed up front upon circumstances when it made more sense for me to wear pants, jeans or leisure pants. I always confirmed my ERs permission in that case. I guess this would also be another case of ER control. But another one that I really enjoyed because it was a rule we made together, my preference any way, and along with his control over daily bra and panty sets a second reminder of my precious submission and obedience to my ER. Of course I respect that most female EEs and women in general don’t have this preference as strongly as myself and Nicole above. Best, CL