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  1. @Rand E Thanks for the kind words and welcome! It was the members sharing in this forum that helped me wrap my head around some of it. I appreciate these forums and will most likely be around for awhile. 🙂
  2. I've been around long enough to spot a pathological liar when I see one. They are always the ones who have been everywhere, done everything, and did it all SO MUCH BETTER than ANYBODY ELSE... so much better than any mere mortal could ever hope to achieve. That's him in a nutshell.
  3. Exactly the same as my impression of that "individual"... but you phrase it SO much more eloquently! The guy was SO far off base with his "diagnosis and prognosis" of my post it was laughable. Yet, like you mention, the more impressionable seem to buy into his drivel. Oh well..... 😂
  4. @spankedblonde If you're addressing HerrMF'ingIdiotBlackTooth with that post... don't sweat him. He's the local forum idiot. He almost drove me off until I realized how inconsequential he really is. 😉 He hands out judgements like Halloween candy. sigh..... In truth? He's entirely clueless....
  5. @sassylittle THANK YOU! It WAS difficult to openly discuss such personal thoughts and circumstances. My heartfelt thanks to ALL the forum members who openly discuss their personal lives which help those of us seeking understanding. Don't worry about @HerrBlacktooth as far as I'm concerned. His type has been around since the advent of social media... and probably even before! LOL! He is transparent. His entire life is what he can suck out out of forums such as this. His desire to be worshipped as a god comes through with every post he writes. I usually simply ignore them but this guy made some really nasty accusations that riled my sensibilities, so I responded... more to let him know that I already know his type as much as anything else. If you carefully look at his posts, you will find that each and every one "talks down to you". He considers himself on a lofty throne. Also, thank you for realizing that my love for my spouse was my driving force for seeking out you wonderful, sharing people. Without your input, I would still be the blind man crashing into walls. Now... my promise to you is to share the results of my efforts.... for good or... sigh.. not so good. ❤️
  6. SOME people SHOULD indeed be offering help to others and giving advice. Others, too full of themselves to even RECOGNIZE the needs of others, should perhaps sit on the sidelines and remain silent. Hey! JMHO!
  7. @Rand E IMHO, you get an A+ for perception and intuitiveness. You nailed it. Thanks for taking the time to read and absorb my original post. You mention a few of the things I'm wrestling with. My thoughts are that this is a real draw for her, hence her sharing her excitement of the experience that I had truly believed was an epic fail, entirely due to my handling of it. I want this to be perfect for her, so this time I'm doing my homework in advance. Weird? Now... if I go into this simply trying to satisfy her needs/desires... she'll know. After our decades together, she'll feel it and it will spoil it for her. She needs to know that I'm totally on board and getting off on it too. Gawd... I feel like a little kid again... lost! LOL! Communication between us is probably more open now than it's ever been. I'm getting better at asking questions and CAREFULLY listening to the answers and NOT moving past them until I fully understand the full depths of what she's trying to say. (BTW: this site and the honesty of it's members have taught me a lot about that) It's such a fine line between "discussing to an understanding" and "ruining everything with too much talk". 😂 Yes, you were astutely correct... this has never been a fantasy for me... yet, (I think!) I've been able to develop a fantasy that will parallel hers close enough to make it excitable for BOTH of us which will satisfy her need to know that I, too, am getting off on it. If this is all WAY too much talk and analyzing for people PLEASE accept my apologies. Sometimes these things should simply be raw emotions. ❤️
  8. @HerrBlacktooth If you REALLY want to be helpful you can tell me if this site has an "Idiot Filter"... you know... a block for those you really don't want to waste any more time on. Most of those filters block all visibility between the two members. I DO hope this site has one. Thanks in advance! Your assistance to a new member on this subject would be both invaluable and greatly appreciated.
  9. Dude, do you really believe that you are the first Forum Pseudo Intellectual I've run across? And yeah... you ARE a dude. Your "welcome"s to the new members of these forums leaves a bit to be desired IMHO. Don't know how the Admins put up with you... I wouldn't. I have to wonder how many new members you have driven off with your offensive drivel. If I WERE an Admin on this site... I would be giving that a serious look. But.... enough about you. Let's talk about what you BELIEVE you know about others. A single post that didn't even include all the facts (in the interest of brevity) and you are all set to play Sigmund Freud. Well... analyze this.... your ASSUMPTIONS are SO far off base... you appear as a complete and total fool from this end of the conversation. Now... an INTELLIGENT person who REALLY cared about others would be asking TONS of questions... not handing out judgements like Halloween candy. But it's obvious that you really DON'T care about others.... the ONLY thing you care about is your perceived position inside these forums... the NEED to appear superior to all the other forum members. Your posts to others in these forums reek of that. I see that others have also attempted to bring that to your attention. I hope you're not angry... I'm only trying to help you out here. I really believe that you don't even realize how you affect other people which might well explain why these forums are the only life you have and why you fight so hard to try to retain your throne within them. Another mistake you made.... I'm not the oldest surfer on the wave... two of my buddies that I surfed with in high school are still riding waves... both older than me. LOL! Hey... Sorry... I probably should have been more diplomatic in my suggestions but I find my patience getting short with ill mannered forum bullies. My bet is you've had a LOT of complaints filed with the Admins and probably several of your posts removed. At some point in time, if you don't learn some proper forum manners, you will most likely find yourself lacking an account on this site. But hey! That's JMHO! 🙂 Enjoy!
  10. The one thing that I HAVE learned from the reading that I have done so far is that no two people are exactly alike. I think that may well be an important concept to remember as I continue learning.
  11. HerrBlacktooth, I just read your post again (to be perfectly honest, I really only skimmed it the first time... kinda felt like I was giving it the attention it warranted) and, honestly, I am even MORE amazed! Not only do you know everything about me, you ALSO know everything that goes on in the deepest recesses of my wife's mind! And she didn't even POST! wow..... Seriously dude! I am SO impressed!!! Did you get the Johnny Carson show over on your side of the pond? If so... do you remember when Johnny would put on that turban, hold a sealed envelope up to his forehead, give the answer to the sealed question... and THEN open up the envelope to read the question? Dude... you put Johnny Carson to SHAME! Congrats!!! Must be awesome being you. 😏
  12. Jenna1220 and Megthe, thanks for the tips and encouragement. That's the kind of helpful information I was hoping to find on this site. This IS new territory and I hope to be able to avoid as many pitfalls as possible. HerrBlacktooth... wow.... where to begin? I know... "positive feedback"! You nailed one or two things correctly... both of us are Leos so, yes. we do enjoy our adulation. :) I think I'll just keep it all on a positive note and congratulate you on knowing everything there is to know about a person based upon a single post. Must be awesome.... ;) Oh... and thanks for the good fortune wish! :D
  13. This is really long... if you don't have the patience, move on. After LOTS of reading on this site... I decided this is the best forum to post to. OK... still here? Awesome! After reading LOTS of posts and trying to wrap my head around this thing... I decided to post here. Again.... this is gpnna be long as it encompasses lotsa years. History: Great marriage, in and out of the swing life style (with positive results), she's had "rubber knees" a LOT after sex, what else can I say? Sex has been great. Open communications (for the MOST part) and great and open sex (with each other and others). Current: Vaginal intercourse has become painful due to wall thinning and the distrust of current "cures" to fix it. That opened a dialog on alternatives. So... why am I here? Because... she said to me (a week or so ago now), "spanking". It's not the first time. She brought that up several years ago and we experimented. In ***MY*** mind it was an epic failure... no joy. I felt inept at it and I didn't think that she got much out of it either. My mistake I guess. As we seek to explore alternatives to vaginal sex, we've opened a new dialog. NOW she tells me that she thinks she may have "peed" once when I spanked her. wow.... OK..... So... tonight I ask her if she's familiar with the term squirting. To my surprise... she says "Yes" and she thinks that is responsible for her experience that night. Now I'm lost. Time to educate myself. I've done enough research into this thing to realize that EVERY experience is different and every desire and fantasy is different. I don't know if this is "I'm bad, beat my butt" or "I fantasized about sex while getting my butt beat as a kid". BUT!!!! If I'm going to bring my lovely lady to new heights... I'd better fucking figure it out! So, tonight we talk some more. She tells me that it's related to the step dad who spanked her (and at other times massaged her) for his own jollies. She said she could see the gleam in his eyes as he administered the "punishment". I can see she feels the dichotomy of her hatred for her step dad and the sexual excitement she felt over his "spanking" (feely) episodes. I tell her it's OK to feel the sexual overtones of those experiences. Yeah... her step dad was sick because he was getting his jollies off of his pre-teen step daughter.... but what SHE felt from it (and her take away from it) is totally natural and should be embraced as opposed to thinking of it shamefully. Which brings us to now.... I have never fantasized about spanking... and the fact that I need to learn about is a bit obvious I guess. At least I finally know what's going through her mind.... it's sexual release through spanking and TOUCHING. I came here to ask advice on what was expected of me but one more attempt at communication helped me figure it out. Thanks to this forum... I was able to figure out the right questions to ask. (Thanks to all who have posted their feelings/experiences!) The icing on the cake: I told her that researching this thing started up a whole new fantasy thread in my mind and now I had my own fantasies on tanning her backside and I couldn't wait to live out some of them. It was like I lifted a ton of bricks off her shoulders and she thanked me for sharing that with her. Seems like ya really gotta feel this thing... faking it is no good. This might well be the most honest sexual arena there is. So... I guess I'm not really posting to ask for help, which was the main reason I joined this site. If there is a moral to this story... I guess it would be open and honest communication with your partner(s). Our next step might well be to seek others with whom to share this new found freedom. Just reread this post... not exactly in chronological order... but what the hell. So... there's the first post. Always open to positive feedback and suggestions.
  14. Talk about a timeless subject.... this thread was originated SEVEN years ago by a young lady whose last post post was three days after this one. Yet.... the topic endures, wow.....
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