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rubyredd

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Posts posted by rubyredd

  1. Congratulations!

    Just let her go with how she feels at the time and let her explore until she begins to exert her Toppiness. I will provide feedback if it is requested by the ER, but I try to be careful about forcing my preferences on a new Top (or comparing them to others, criticizing, etc.). Just let her do whatever she is doing for now. Bottoms tend to "run the show" - so maybe you are guiding things more than you realize. Talk to her about what would help her lead the session. 

    • Like 2
  2. 6 hours ago, Lotsapappa said:

    Topspanker-

    Appreciate your interest. We have two twenty something guys in this thread that imply Spankdar is real for them - identifying potential female  Spankos by observation.

    I do believe Rubyreds possesses  advanced Spankdar. 

    My final question is not well worded. However both state they pickup on reactions or little signs that finely honed Male  Spankdar can spot in a Female. My assumption is their Spankdar is coded to include female EE or ER or both. 

    Kinky conversations are common. But I am saying I do not believe Male Spankdar is real and that more likely the women were just into the guys and went along with it. Males in their 20’s having many unfunded females spanking partners would be an Outlier, Outside Bell curve or shall we say Improbable. 

    Yet we all know the Law of Large numbers means someone will get a Royal Flush, 10 Blackjacks in a row or win lottery. But don’t tell me you can joke to a woman you don’t know about Spanking and her reaction will register on Spankdar as a hit with certainty.
     

    Not buying it. Call BS. Unless they are buddies with an older surfer first initial D that lives in Hawaii…

     

     

    I can't tell when someone is likely to be a spankee, but I definitely get spanky vibes from potential spankERs. It would be hard to describe why certain people come across as more Toppy (and likely to spank me) than others, but there seems to be certainly personality types I gravitate toward. More often than not, these men were willing to spank me and were very good at being authoritative. 

    Jr./Sr. High School: My very first swats... at a school dance, I picked the one guy in my class who gave off feelings of dominance and I bratted a bit and tried the classic "what are you gonna do?" line. And I got a couple of really good swats and it was perfection. Still in my Top 10 spanking memories. My first boyfriend - I did not choose this guy for his intellect or sharp wit. I just knew he would spank me. And he did. A lot. Same with boyfriend #2 - he gave off a dominant vibe. Neither ex-boyfriend is a spanko and neither spanked anyone since then... I know because we still talk. 

    College - total spanko wasteland for me. Ended up being one case where my spankdar failed me a bit. I couldn't get any good spanky feelings. But, I did start reading stories online. And I even talked on the phone with another real spanko... a Dave from Massachusetts. 

    Glory Years (my 20s) - Left college and joined the military. And thus began my heyday of spanking. My spankdar was on fire; I could find potential spankers at bars, the gym, at work (every branch of the military + civilians). These were mostly just one-off spankings, but all were good fun. I was also meeting with other spankos more consistently thanks to Internet access. I eventually stopped dating vanillas completely. I married a spanko and we have been together ever since. 

    But, Toppy men give off something - a different vibe, a pheromone, an air of authoritative domimance. They aren't always the men you expect. I would imagine their Toppiness works in conjunction with my spankee vibes, but that is speculation.

    Sadly, my spankdar does not seem to work to locate Toppy women. And like I said, I can't tell if someone is a spankee either.

    • Like 1
    • Thanks 1
  3. I always thought people "felt" implements in the same way, but that really isn't the case. I love leather straps, canes, switches - others think those are all terrible. But I would rather get switched than get spanked with a bathbrush. 

    I will say - heavier wooden implements usually leave me with deeper bruising. Some implements sting, but rarely bruise me - wooden spoons, switches, canes, smaller leather straps or belts.

  4. 23 hours ago, AugustCar said:

    I’m curious, if there are any examples of a husband sending their wife off to be spanked?  It’s an interesting/fun idea.  Basically the husband sends comments or grades for the wife’s behavior off to the ER to address in her weekly session.  If a husband could get past the idea, I wonder how it would go.  
     

    sorry, as I know this thread is for a real life situation.   I can repost if folks(esp OP) think it’s best.  

    I worked with a disciplinary partner who was not my husband. But my husband didn't report misbehaviors - that was just between me and my disciplinarian.

  5. 23 hours ago, AugustCar said:

    I’m curious, if there are any examples of a husband sending their wife off to be spanked?  It’s an interesting/fun idea.  Basically the husband sends comments or grades for the wife’s behavior off to the ER to address in her weekly session.  If a husband could get past the idea, I wonder how it would go.  
     

    sorry, as I know this thread is for a real life situation.   I can repost if folks(esp OP) think it’s best.  

    I worked with a disciplinary partner who was not my husband. But my husband didn't report misbehaviors - that was just between me and my disciplinarian.

  6. I am not submissive; even as a spankee, I am not very subby. I am certainly not a submissive person at work (leadership role) or other aspects of my daily life. I will play the role of a submissive during BDSM play, though. I get spanked - a lot - but my husband and I are partners first and foremost. In all other aspects of life, I am a dominant leader type.

  7. 6 hours ago, kiko said:

    This first post always appears on my profile page and I have decided to revisit it tonight.  Reading all of the posts after mine, I feel totally inadequate.  I am in my 20's and have less than 10 years of experience in this lifestyle and less than 2 years on this site.  I have almost no experience and feel that I often bring a diminished point of view to any conversation, discussion... Today, I learned a hard lesson in that I am inexperienced and that my response to certain events are immature.  I don't know how to "play" correctly and I don't read the chatroom or people correctly.

    I think I look forward to the day when I can bring richness and depth to the table and that will come with age.   In the meanwhile, I have to watch and learn and for someone as impulsive as I am, it's a difficult journey to make.  I hope those with more experience can be patient with me.
     

    I don't understand this self-assessment. You are always a fun participant in chat. You are learning about yourself - just as we all are. You aren't bring a diminished POVto discussion, you are bringing in your perspectives. That is all anyone can do. 

  8. Technique is very important to me when it comes to the cane. A careless caner is never good. 

    Sometimes my husband likes to do the perfect six to start - just to see the pretty lines. But we all know six is never enough. 

    • Like 1

    Temp

    6 hours ago, SimplyRed said:

    What else?  Have you tried fig?  I’m guessing yes but if not then you have a treat in store when you do. 

    I actually have not tried figging, so that is definitely on my list... But, anal spanking/caning, plugs, sex - all are excellent.

    • Like 1
  9. 3 hours ago, indisgrace said:

    Regular professional disciplinarian that I have been visiting for some two and a half years.  It will be quite an ordeal in terms of otk spanking, the belt, the tawse, the gym plimsoll and who knows what else. I look forward to it with considerable trepidation. But yes it will be fun, and with a warm afterglow for 24 hours

    I love that line... ❤

  10. 11 hours ago, AfterGeometry said:

    Bum-related stuff has only gained in popularity and adherents over the past two decades yet to my knowledge it has not been accompanied with a similar uptick in bum-related medical visits or surgeries due to any deleterious effects of bum play.  This is just a hunch though, as I don't have the medical literature in front of me. 

    An "uptick in bum-relates medical visits" pretty much won the day for me. 

    As a female spankee, I can honestly say I enjoy all the types of anal play I have tried so far. Two thumbs up!

    • Haha 1
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