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rubyredd

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Status Replies posted by rubyredd

  1. Wishing everyone a fun and safe weekend.

  2. I’ll put this here so as to avoid any accusations of being unfair to ERs.  If you come here and read this, it’s on you.  You made the decision to come here. 
     

    Some ERs justify just about anything they do to an EE with “consent”.  
     

    Here is a simple question for EEs: in the middle of being spanked and all the emotional and physical distress it entails, how free do you feel to withdraw consent?  By “free” I am including any thing that would inhibit you, such as subspace, difficulty communicating, concern about how the ER will react, being bound by a CNC, wanting to look “tough”.  Anything.  
     

    If you’ve come at me in the forums or here on my wall, move on. This isn’t for you, and I am not looking for your input. 

    1. rubyredd

      rubyredd

      I have never had an issue withdrawing consent. I can only think of a few times when I have stopped a spanking and only fully withdrawn consent with one person. I make it a practice not to meet with Domholes. You can usually tell in chat or pre-spanking discussion who will be a bad ER. As Tate said... communication is key. 

      But, as EEs, we are responsible for our own limits - and for controlling consent in the scene. We have to understand that we are complicit in the act and that we have to speak up. A Top cannot always know (though a good spanker can read the situation). Spanking is a partnership and not one-sided.

      Yes, abusers exist within this fetish... as in the vanilla world. But, there are more good folks than bad. I have met with a few dozen spankos over the years and all but one were positive experiences. Even the negative one wasn't horrible - just not great. 

    2. (See 5 other replies to this status update)

  3. Part 3 of Smith Family is gonna be a good one! ...as soon as I write it. 

    1. rubyredd

      rubyredd

      I was just wondering yesterday when you would be posting. Get to work, man!

  4. I continue to question my need for real discipline. I use need here intentionally - to differentiate from want. I think that is a separate discussion, but maybe it shouldn't be.

    I haven't had a disciplinary partner since February, but I can't really see any noticeable differences in my behavior (getting worse, out of control, misbehaving in different ways). But intentional misbehavior isn't really my issue - I don't go out and break the law or act in totally irresponsible ways (usually). I don't get speeding tickets or whatever other things typically lead to a punishment in spanking stories. It is in the realm of mundane daily self-discipline where I struggle.

    Most of you know that I am a runner and am triathlon training. No, not competitively - just for fun - but, I still need to be purposeful in order to reach personal goals. I struggle with staying of track. I struggle with aspects of my nutritional plan. I don't get enough sleep. And so on.

    These are all things I can (and usually do) regulate on my own. But, it is exhausting managing it myself. The aspect of accountability I needed most was having someone else be in charge of those things. I need to be able to give up control. I need to be held accountable. I need someone to guide me. Maybe. Or maybe not.

    Do I really need a disciplinarian if I am able to self-regulate most of the time? My need for spanking is absolute - it is both a want and a need and is not something I doubt or question. But... discipline? Is that still a need?

    anton-part-3-various-implements_17-1.jpeg

    1. rubyredd

      rubyredd

      Well, that was a bunch of nonsensical gibberish. 

    2. (See 7 other replies to this status update)

  5. I continue to question my need for real discipline. I use need here intentionally - to differentiate from want. I think that is a separate discussion, but maybe it shouldn't be.

    I haven't had a disciplinary partner since February, but I can't really see any noticeable differences in my behavior (getting worse, out of control, misbehaving in different ways). But intentional misbehavior isn't really my issue - I don't go out and break the law or act in totally irresponsible ways (usually). I don't get speeding tickets or whatever other things typically lead to a punishment in spanking stories. It is in the realm of mundane daily self-discipline where I struggle.

    Most of you know that I am a runner and am triathlon training. No, not competitively - just for fun - but, I still need to be purposeful in order to reach personal goals. I struggle with staying of track. I struggle with aspects of my nutritional plan. I don't get enough sleep. And so on.

    These are all things I can (and usually do) regulate on my own. But, it is exhausting managing it myself. The aspect of accountability I needed most was having someone else be in charge of those things. I need to be able to give up control. I need to be held accountable. I need someone to guide me. Maybe. Or maybe not.

    Do I really need a disciplinarian if I am able to self-regulate most of the time? My need for spanking is absolute - it is both a want and a need and is not something I doubt or question. But... discipline? Is that still a need?

    anton-part-3-various-implements_17-1.jpeg

  6. I continue to question my need for real discipline. I use need here intentionally - to differentiate from want. I think that is a separate discussion, but maybe it shouldn't be.

    I haven't had a disciplinary partner since February, but I can't really see any noticeable differences in my behavior (getting worse, out of control, misbehaving in different ways). But intentional misbehavior isn't really my issue - I don't go out and break the law or act in totally irresponsible ways (usually). I don't get speeding tickets or whatever other things typically lead to a punishment in spanking stories. It is in the realm of mundane daily self-discipline where I struggle.

    Most of you know that I am a runner and am triathlon training. No, not competitively - just for fun - but, I still need to be purposeful in order to reach personal goals. I struggle with staying of track. I struggle with aspects of my nutritional plan. I don't get enough sleep. And so on.

    These are all things I can (and usually do) regulate on my own. But, it is exhausting managing it myself. The aspect of accountability I needed most was having someone else be in charge of those things. I need to be able to give up control. I need to be held accountable. I need someone to guide me. Maybe. Or maybe not.

    Do I really need a disciplinarian if I am able to self-regulate most of the time? My need for spanking is absolute - it is both a want and a need and is not something I doubt or question. But... discipline? Is that still a need?

    anton-part-3-various-implements_17-1.jpeg

    1. rubyredd

      rubyredd

      @HeartnBottomWarmer- I would posit that this is exactly why having a disciplinarian (really dislike the term mentor) is unnecessary. I handle my business. I am not clueless, running in circles with no clear goals. I am a very self-disciplined person. I have never been one to waste opportunities or time. I work hard and I workout hard. So, if outside discipline is not a need... it might just be a want. And it might not even be a real want anymore. Herein is my conundrum. 

      @TigerGowan- this miggt be the significance of accountability so many folks miss (or misunderstand). I have a stressful job and a packed schedule - so the balancing act can be tiresome and frustrating. It is nice to have Toppy support.

      @alyssandra- I am constantly considering it these days. Lol. Trying to figure out what works best.

    2. (See 7 other replies to this status update)

  7. What happens when a spanking situation becomes a battle of wills? What level of struggling is appropriate?

    Bottoms: Do you ever put up a fight during a spanking? How do you struggle, if at all? What is the expected outcome?

    Tops: How do you react when an EE puts up a fight / struggle? Any specific experiences to share? What behavior is tolerated and what is not?

    Personally, I love to move during a spanking - I don't usually try to get away, but I will kick and squirm if I am able to. Those reactions are mostly involuntary or part of trying to alleviate the sting or exercise my frustration at not getting my way. But, sometimes I will put up a fight and resist and attempt to control the spanking situation.

    endart-spanking-threat-comics_29.jpg

    1. rubyredd

      rubyredd

      @DifferentialP- I am with you... I think a little struggle keeps it interesting.

      @TigerGowan- hope you are recovering well and following doctor's orders. That's the thing - I wouldn't put up a fight if implied or explicit consent wasn't understood. Communication is especially important. 

      @FtWorthOTK55- I always enjoy your descriptions of what you love about spanking. I often feel the same. Oddly, I have giggled during a spanking, too... even though it really hurts. 

      So, weird thing... I might actually go willingly and without fuss into the spanking, but start fighting in the middle. The spanking is well underway, but that is when I decide to force my way out of it. 

    2. (See 8 other replies to this status update)

  8. What happens when a spanking situation becomes a battle of wills? What level of struggling is appropriate?

    Bottoms: Do you ever put up a fight during a spanking? How do you struggle, if at all? What is the expected outcome?

    Tops: How do you react when an EE puts up a fight / struggle? Any specific experiences to share? What behavior is tolerated and what is not?

    Personally, I love to move during a spanking - I don't usually try to get away, but I will kick and squirm if I am able to. Those reactions are mostly involuntary or part of trying to alleviate the sting or exercise my frustration at not getting my way. But, sometimes I will put up a fight and resist and attempt to control the spanking situation.

    endart-spanking-threat-comics_29.jpg

    1. rubyredd

      rubyredd

      @DiscreetSpanko8- I am a little surprised that the battle of wills doesn't appeal to you more.  And, what happens after the line is crossed and you tske a break to discuss? 

      @Jaded- communication is definitely the key! 

    2. (See 8 other replies to this status update)

  9. Can I delete some of my posts? I am catching grief for them.

    1. rubyredd

      rubyredd

      You might ask one of the moderators directly. Otherwise, I don't think so.

    2. (See 1 other reply to this status update)

  10. New profile pic! Love it!

    1. rubyredd

      rubyredd

      I am so good that I haven't had to kneel in the corner for months. 😊🙄

    2. (See 3 other replies to this status update)

  11. New profile pic! Love it!

    1. rubyredd

      rubyredd

      Thank you! I have used it once before, but I just really like this position a lot.

    2. (See 3 other replies to this status update)

  12. A little update:  I've been spanked once a week for the last 3 weeks. At first, I was thinking that maybe it's a bit much, but it has turned out that it's been exactly what I've been needing.  These spankings that been a bit more than just maintenance spankings, because they're more of the disciplinary type.  On the 1st spanking, we pretty much were trying out a new paddle that Daddy had shipped over to me from some paddle maker...but also for me having told Daddy that he and uncle were "boys" (yeah...never doing that again!).  On the 2nd and 3rd spankings, I've been paddled with uncle's holey paddle...and I'll continue to be getting a weekly paddling until I've improved in some areas here at home that need improvement on (as far as getting my place cleaned up and then maintained that way).  I can say these paddlings are working because so far so good, I've been getting things done.  

    This is pretty much how things are going here.  I am sure that my husband will be very happy with these improvements. Can't wait for him to come home!  (He's been out trucking since end of June.) 

  13. In honor of summer and shorts season, let's talk about thighs.

    Tops: Do you spank the thighs or do you reserve swats for the bottom's bottom only? How far down do you go? 

    Bottoms: How do you feel about swats to the thighs? How far down is far enough?

    endart-multiple-spankees-comics_14.jpg

    1. rubyredd

      rubyredd

      I am a supporter of thigh swats - for me, personally, of course. With hand or wooden spoon, most of the thigh is open for smacks. With heavier wooden implements, a well-placed swat works wonders. Certain implements - leather straps, ruler, switch - can definitely be used on my thighs. 

      A good handspanking, to me, needs to cover a lot of territory... mid-bottom to mid-thigh with lots of focus on the sit-spot. 

    2. (See 12 other replies to this status update)

  14. In honor of summer and shorts season, let's talk about thighs.

    Tops: Do you spank the thighs or do you reserve swats for the bottom's bottom only? How far down do you go? 

    Bottoms: How do you feel about swats to the thighs? How far down is far enough?

    endart-multiple-spankees-comics_14.jpg

    1. rubyredd

      rubyredd

      @FtWorthOTK55- soooo typical of a Top to spank what is made available. Meanies.

    2. (See 12 other replies to this status update)

  15.  

    Hey there folks. It's been a few weeks since I've had a playdate and my last regular partner has moved on, alas. I'd love to meet a lady who's in the mood for a session or 3, assuming we click of course. For anyone who hasn't spoken with me, feel free to browse my previous posts, or simply ask whatever you'd like to know. I've been a spanko for my entire adult life. I prefer to top, I'm open-minded, willing to try almost anything twice (within reason obviously, safety first). Age and body type are not especially relevant, desire for spanking is. I can provide disciplinary spankings, though I'm not a disciplinarian or a Dom. I'm a spanko. Seriously, I just love spanking, in all it's forms. 

    Ladies, if you're interested in chatting or meeting (safely) please drop me a line. Gents, I wish you all the best but my preference is for female backsides exclusively. 

    Given the world in which we live, I'll add that I've been fully vaccinated since February. 

    I'm living in North Central Indiana at this time, though I travel a fair amount throughout north and Central Indiana as well as southern Michigan so location isn't necessarily problematic. 

    In case you haven't read anything I've posted, let me state as clearly as possible. If you want a mentor or master you could almost certainly find better options on this site than myself. I can say, without false modesty, that I am an exceptionally skilled top, but I don't have the right mindset to be a "master". I love meeting the needs and desires of my partner, which is why I'm reiterating this point. In terms of pure spanking I aim to please, and have spent decades practicing to do so. In terms of dominance I can simulate it but not terribly well. Different strokes, etc.

    I'm not averse to a romantic relationship under the right circumstances, nor would I be against a long term spanking only relationship if we happen to meet each others needs. No pressure as far as I'm concerned. I just want to spank;) Anyway, message me if you like. Hope to hear from ya soon! Play safe, and happy spanks;-)

    1. rubyredd

      rubyredd

      Well-stated. You always have such nicely written comments. I am sure any spankee would have a great experience with you.

    2. (See 1 other reply to this status update)

  16. In honor of summer and shorts season, let's talk about thighs.

    Tops: Do you spank the thighs or do you reserve swats for the bottom's bottom only? How far down do you go? 

    Bottoms: How do you feel about swats to the thighs? How far down is far enough?

    endart-multiple-spankees-comics_14.jpg

    1. rubyredd

      rubyredd

      **I should have included my usual disclaimer... please only include ADULT CONSENSUAL spanking experiences. While not against site rules to share personal experiences from childhood, I would ask that you restrict your responses here to adult and consensual spanking. Thanks! 

    2. (See 12 other replies to this status update)

  17. Tan lines - yes or no?

    I am on vacation and all my tan lines are in the wrong places (up top / in the front). I need to lay out on my tummy and get my tan lines in the right places.

    endart-mf-hand-spanking-comics_38.jpg

    1. rubyredd

      rubyredd

      @FtWorthOTK55- I happen to be very familiar with those ways! 

    2. (See 13 other replies to this status update)

  18. Tan lines - yes or no?

    I am on vacation and all my tan lines are in the wrong places (up top / in the front). I need to lay out on my tummy and get my tan lines in the right places.

    endart-mf-hand-spanking-comics_38.jpg

    1. rubyredd

      rubyredd

      I am glad to hear tan lines are still so popular. I try to protect my skin as much as possible, but would really like to add some nice lines on my bottom half. My top half is usually restricted to runner's tan (tank top lines LOL). Maybe I should get a spray tan?

    2. (See 13 other replies to this status update)

  19. about 60 spankos anticipated for tomorrow's munch in Seattle! it's been a long time since I've been at a gathering with that many spankos, I'm sure it will be a little overwhelming but I'm looking forward to it. hope to see some of you there :)

    1. rubyredd

      rubyredd

      How awesome! I hope you all have a great time!

    2. (See 5 other replies to this status update)

  20. Sometimes, being naughty is worth it.......

    Sometimes. 

    Screenshot_20210708-153438_Chrome.jpg

  21. I am thrashed every Sunday morning face down on the bed, usually with a stout leather belt. I have been caned, slippered and spanked with a wooden spatula. 

    1. rubyredd

      rubyredd

      Sounds like a great way to spend a Sunday morning.

    2. (See 1 other reply to this status update)

  22. Shared about the suicide of one of my students. Was told to kill myself and join her. I hate this place.

    1. rubyredd

      rubyredd

      I am sorry to hear about your student. I am also sad to hear someone has acted that way toward you. Please do report it to the Admins. I am with AG on this - I can't imagine any of the regulars being so hateful - but it does happen.

       

    2. (See 9 other replies to this status update)

  23. The more I consider and question my need for discipline, the more I recognize my need for ancillary consequences. @AfterGeometry posed a great question on the General Discussion Board about why spanking works. The conclusion for me is that spanking can work in many ways - beyond discipline. But, for discipline to be effective, I need ancillary consequences: corner time, loss of privileges, mouthsoaping, lines and essays, early bedtime, etc.

    I can be spanked and five minutes later want to be spanked again. So, a disciplinary partner would need to be creative to make a impression.

    Tops: How have you used ancillary consequences? Do you have a favorite?

    Bottoms: What ancillary consequence do you dread the most?

    *How odd...I have the exact plaid pants shown in this drawing. 

    endart-mf-hand-spanking-comics_9.jpg

    1. rubyredd

      rubyredd

      @AfterGeometry- if you ever make it to Indy on your States of Spanking Tour, I will wear them. Lol 

    2. (See 19 other replies to this status update)

  24. The more I consider and question my need for discipline, the more I recognize my need for ancillary consequences. @AfterGeometry posed a great question on the General Discussion Board about why spanking works. The conclusion for me is that spanking can work in many ways - beyond discipline. But, for discipline to be effective, I need ancillary consequences: corner time, loss of privileges, mouthsoaping, lines and essays, early bedtime, etc.

    I can be spanked and five minutes later want to be spanked again. So, a disciplinary partner would need to be creative to make a impression.

    Tops: How have you used ancillary consequences? Do you have a favorite?

    Bottoms: What ancillary consequence do you dread the most?

    *How odd...I have the exact plaid pants shown in this drawing. 

    endart-mf-hand-spanking-comics_9.jpg

    1. rubyredd

      rubyredd

      @AfterGeometry- not too long at all... I appreciate the response. 

      @Chastener- what is "inappropriate" really? 🙄🙄🙄

    2. (See 19 other replies to this status update)

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