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Everything posted by rubyredd

  1. Summer is coming to an end. Time to pack away our shorty-shorts and get cozy in our flannel jammies. Which do you prefer for a spanking (before the bare, of course)?


    1. Spanknutt


      I kinda like the flannels. But in NC, we have a couple more months in the 80s so I will have to wait a bit.

    2. RIspanko


      Dropseat jammies would be  nice

    3. Longtimespanking


      Any sort of pajamas works for me, the traditional flannel ones, or the cotton ones.  If I got to pick colors, plaid flannels, and either plain white cotton ones or something in a blue stripe are visually appealing.  

  2. I have always wanted to be spanked by both men and women - but had not been spanked by a woman until this year. For me, I am keenly aware of whether the Top is a man or a woman - and that is completely relevant to me. I am attracted to both men and women, but have only had sex with men. I fantasize about both. I have only had sex with men thus far. But, I also cannot deny that spanking is my primary sexual orientation and that I have an erotic response to any and all aspects of spanking. I don't think I would want to get spanked by other women if I didn't have some type of attraction to my own sex.
  3. rubyredd


    Nothing quite like a man, holding a hairbrush, sitting on the side of the bed.
  4. Atone - to make amends; to provide or serve as reparation or compensation for something bad or unwelcome

    Atonement is the concept of a person taking action to correct previous wrongdoing on their part, either through direct action to undo the consequences of that act, equivalent action to do good for others, or some other expression of feelings of remorse.

    One of the only times I think I need actual punishment is when I want to atone for some misbehavior that I feel truly bad about. Being punished has a cleansing effect - even without tears. Atonement, to me, isn't about speeding tickets or swear words or breaking arbitrary rules - it has to involve my attitude (being rude or hurtful).

    How does spanking help you atone for misbehavior?


    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. rubyredd


      @AfterGeometry- soooo true!

      @Lineok- guilt-relief certainly helps.

    3. dkh


      I've thought about this recently because Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, was last week. It is specifically about atonement by the Jewish people for sins against God, but the ten days between Rosh Hoshanna and YK are also the traditional time to apologize and make amends to people one has wronged over the year.

      Compared to Christianity, Judaism emphasizes the responsibility of the transgressor to earn forgiveness by acts of atonement. The person who has been transgressed against is required to forgive only after the transgressor has expressed sincere remorse and done the best they can to repair the damage they've caused. An aggrieved "I SAID I'm sorry" is not enough.

      I have not been in such a relationship myself, but I would appreciate getting spanked, or other formal punishments, as a practical way for my partner to express their disappointment and restore balance between us when I am selfish, dishonest, or inconsiderate.

    4. rubyredd


      @dkh- thank you for sharing all that background - I had no idea. I said I am sorry definitely is not always enough. Perhaps that is why I find the idea of atonement so appealing.

  5. Yes, absolutely. The most intense orgasm I have ever had was during a switching. We do a lot of hard erotic spanking with lengthy sessions and, though it doesn't happen every time, it is regular enough. For us, erotic is just a different headspace - it doesn't always mean intimate touching is involved.
  6. My husband and I will celebrate 15 years of marriage next year. Other relationships changed over time. I met my former disciplinary partner almost 20 years ago (started as spanking partners, then friends, then disciplinary). I have another spanko friend I have known for 20 years and we chat regularly.
  7. Only because you haven't met me. 🍑🔥
  8. My husband got our favorite cane at Janus before he moved over here (and that was 14 years ago). None others compare.
  9. All the time. I enjoy hard, lengthy funishment sessions and can take more during funishment than real discipline because my headspace is different. I have done a mix of real reasons and made up. I haven't been spanked to tears in 20 years - no matter how hard or for what reason.
  10. Stress Relief Spankings

    Spankos mention them often, but what does a stress relief spanking look like to you?  How does it differ from other types of spanking? Is it just that the intent is different or is there something else? 

    Work has been increasingly stressful (for a couple of years lol) and my fitness training schedule has been tiring (but also necessary and a sress reliever). Like everyone else, stress compounds - whether it stems from family / friends, personal, work, whatever - until we reach a breaking point or find relief. 


    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Tate999


      no she was made to strip as well she really struggles with taking her clothes off but admits it puts her head into the right space she doesn't get if she keeps them on. 

      The hand spanking lasted for 10 minutes and it was hard. She was spoken to the whole time and her behaviour was discussed, mostly one way I add. 

    3. Lineok


      Scolding during the spanking to help release tension ... stress hopefully goes away as the spanking progresses.....talking to the spankee.....letting them no there being spanked to help reiease the tension and to relax...just leeting the spanking takes it course

    4. rubyredd


      @Lineok- I am wondering if my headspace would be different in that situation... since the goal is neither discipline nor fun really.

  11. At some point in the first few dates. I stopped dating vanillas in my early/mid 20s - at least for more than a date or two - but I almost always brought it up on the first or second date. Spanking is a non-negotiable for me.
  12. Right? She just gives off a Toppy vibe. I especially loved her in Rome.
  13. I have so many phrases that I love to hear! One of my favorites usually happens well before the spanking starts... the simple warning of "watch it" gets me every time. I loved being warned. ❤
  14. Never used the term, but I love anal spanking / spanking the cleft. Sit-spots, backs of thighs.
  15. Alan Autry (as Bubba from In the Heat of the Night) has always been my ideal fantasy spanker. Idris Elba, Daniel Craig, Clive Owen, Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy. Even though I fantasize about female Tops, I don't really have a famous one - maybe Polly Walker because I find her attractive and I think she could be Toppy.
  16. The comments about small-mindedness, etc. were from the chat discussion yesterday on this topic. I forgot that not everyone was part of that discussion. LOL
  17. My thoughts are not that the younger generation is less restrictive, but that they are expressing spankoness on their terms - and that includes Tops, bottoms, and switches. I don't think there are necessarily more switches than before - though I do think younger spankos have more avenues for exploration than I did 20 years ago or you did 30 years ago. I know switches of all ages. And I know Tops and bottoms (who identify solely as one or the other) of all ages. There is nothing wrong with identifying as any of those things. I cannot embrace an evolution that isn't really there - because it is not evident that our spanko preferences are really changing so much on an individual level. In my 20s, I tried switching for a couple of guy friends... and tried repeatedly out of friendship. And I recently spanked another woman a couple of different times. What all that exploration helped solidify is that I am 100% bottom / spankee. I am not a switch and I am not a Top. I find it draining. It doesn't excite me. I don't fantasize about it. There is nothing wrong with being happy in the role that brings you joy, that feels comfortable, that excites you, that stimulates you. For you, that is being a switch - and that is wonderful. For me, it is being a bottom - also wonderful (and doesn't make me limited or small-minded). We are being true to our own needs and desires. *Will address some other aspects after work.
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