rubyredd
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Everything posted by rubyredd
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I would say that, while there are many men who desire a F/M relationship, there are vastly more real-life M/F spanking couples out there. I don't know any vanilla women who would want to spank a man. There are certainly spanko women who are Tops, though. So if a man is a bottom and meets a Top, she is likely going to want to spank him, right? I am a female bottom and I have no desire to be a Top. I have tried it and is just not for me. -
Stress Relief Spanking
How does a stress relief spanking differ from other types of spanking? What does one look like for you? Is there anything that sets this type of spanking apart from other types?
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Only when the mood strikes.
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EE's with attitudes
rubyredd replied to FemSpankeeNeedsRTSpanker's topic in General Spanking Discussion
I don't brat (or get an attitude with) a Spanker unless I know they are comfortable with it. The Top has to consent to bratting. Otherwise, getting an attitude with strangers on the Internet is just being rude. -
Easy... you don't. She might be comfortable with no limits, but you clearly are not. The Top's limits and expectations matter and you obviously need and value communication.
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Intimacy vs. Sexuality: The Fine Line between them
rubyredd replied to Spankalogical's topic in General Spanking Discussion
Sexuality or sexual? Just for clarification because you used both terms, but they don't mean the same thing to me, so I am not sure how to respond. Spanking is my sexuality. Though I enjoy all types of sex, I place spanking as necessary for me in a way that vanilla sex (or sex that does not include spanking beforehand) will never be. Spanking, for me, is both intimate and sexual. It is intimate ("private and personal"), but not intimate in the same way as sex. I am comfortable being spanked by someone I just met, but I wouldn't necessarily want to be intimate in other ways. Spanking is always sexual (again, for me) even when it is discipline or punishment - and roleplaying and erotic spanking and bondage and silly fun spankings. I digress... But, just because I find spanking to be sexual and identify my sexuality as spanko, does not mean a spanking has to be followed by sex. Until I got married, very few of my spankings ended in sex. I preferred to keep the two acts separate. Now, it just depends who is spanking me (husband or a spanko friend). -
Also true.
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If the political views relate to a moral issue it is absolutely valid to discount a potential partner. I wouldn't meet with someone who didn't support certain things - because those things matter to me. I wouldn't choose to meet with someone whose political beliefs were at the opposite end of the spectrum from me because I consider those beliefs to be linked to our moral compass.
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Agree. All this.
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Imagine your perfect discipline or funishment session... How is the pre-spanking lecture / scolding delivered? How is the spankee dressed?
• fully clothed
• pants down / skirt up, but still on
• panties on, but skirt or pants off
• bare bottom, but shirt on
• fully nude
*Illustrations by Roger Benson, Ron Baker, and Hardcastle.
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@DanW- I have really been into the idea of being scolded while standing before the ER with my panties down just below my bottom (pants off / skirt off or lifted). Hands either on my head or behind my back.
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As a spanker I like the idea of the spankee being told to take off her pants and stand in front of me in her panties for the discussion/lecture/scolding. The I pull down her panties and pull her otk or tell her to bend over. It's more funishment for me, but given like "traditional homestyle discipline".
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Reading through your options, the one that really sticks out is bare bottom with shirt still on. In my head, my pants and underwear are down around my ankles and my hands are either on my head or behind my back. I think something about the fact that I would never ordinarily find myself in this state of dress makes it seem even more humbling and exposing. Which you know, fun!
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Welcome!
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We were talking in chat the other day about how difficult it can be for folks to meet other spankos. We talked about what makes a good introduction / personal ad / profile, what encourages follow-up, etc. What are some things you look for in an ad or profile or message? What pointers can you give those who are struggling to meet other spankos? For me, I like a lot of detail in an introduction - role, favorite things, what spanking means to that spanko, what s/he is looking for, etc. Just posting "hey, I need to spank / be spanked" is not enough. Domhole (or Dommehole) behavior is a turn-off. I am not your sub - don't act like we are not on equal footing. I have heard so many other women voice this same complaint. Being Toppy is one thing - I love that - but let's get to know each other a bit first. Basically, treat me like a human and not just an ass to spank. What guidance can you provide other spankos to help with communication?
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What is your favorite way to do corner time? Position, mode of dress, timing, etc.
*Image by JPC
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Personally? The level of dress or undress while in the corner doesn’t matter much to me. If I had to choose it would be T shirt and panties. I’d definitely prefer hands behind my back over on my head. That just seems…unnatural?
Oddly? The best corner time for me is less rigid. I’m there. Til I’m called out. Tasked with thinking about failures and the consequences of them. Possibly scolded while I’m made to wait for what I know is coming. Otherwise tho? Sometimes it’s nice to fidget? I can walk into a corner boldly. I can stand straight and proud. And then within minutes be leaning into the corner. Head hanging a bit. It’s a process that is interesting and lovely for those of us affected by it.
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So glad you had a positive experience!
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Tennessee seems to have quite a few spankos. What part of the state?
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Have you ever given or received a spanking (as an adult) over bad manners?
"Mind your manners" and similar phrases about my behavior are definitely triggers for me.
Bonus Question for Tops: Has a spankee ever called you a name while OTK? How did you react?
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Wonderful!
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Like "spank"?
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That would be much more effective for me personally.
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Does anyone else play Wordle or Lewdle or Octordle?
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This is so true. I have only cried a few times out of hundreds of spankings. It isn't that I don't want to cry, it just doesn't happen. But, so many Tops I have chatted with seem to think spanking really hard will make it happen. Nope.
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Wildcat, hellion, brat... What do you like to be called during a spanking or scolding? Or, for the Tops - what do you like to call your spankee?
Even though I don't regress, I still enjoy diminutives - young lady, little girl, spoiled brat, missy. But, I dated a guy many years ago who called me "woman" and that was nice, too.
When the spanking has a more serious tone, I will usually use Sir or Ma'am for the Top - as it helps with my headspace. What about you?
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While I have heard it all about what I shouldn't say to spankees, I do enjoy using cute pet names to help establish the dynamic. Young lady, kitten, etc. In fact, seeing a restrained, annoyed reaction to such terms helps the dynamic, for me, even more. I know that isn't the modern tact or dynamic, but, in terms of spanking, I never had a modern feeling on the subject.
Does The Flash spank so rapidly his arm is a blur?
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@SeatWarmer- well, I am a raging feminist and I love to be called cute, little, adorable, etc. Modern or not... 😛 I would imagine his spankings are over before she realizes it has started. Lol
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Welcome!
