rubyredd

*Posted in the General Discussion Forum, too. Feel free to comment here if you prefer.*

SN chat often leads to some interesting discussions. One topic that came up recently was "deviancy" - which made me think about how certain terms used within the online spanking community can impact other spankos. Moreso here, in our safe space, than out in the wider vanilla* world. Another post, in the forum this time, briefly discussed the terms "fetish" and "kink."

The Questions:

• What does the term spanko mean to you?

• Does fetish have a positive, negative, or neutral connotation? Please explain.

• What about kink?

• Do you consider spanking to be a fetish, kink, your inherent sexuality... something else?

I try to be cognizant of the words I use here - because SN really is a safe space for many. Not everyone here is comfortable being open about their sexuality or kinks or fetishes. Many of us spent years worrying about what others would think. Worrying we were abnormal. Worrying that something was wrong with us. 

There are folks who come here - regulars even - who are uncomfortable talking openly about spanking. I have never been that way (just the opposite LOL... probably too open), so it can be difficult for me to understand why they aren't interacting as much. I think it just takes time. I prefer main chat, but they might prefer private. They may never post in the forum or even do more than lurk. That is okay, too, because they are reading and, hopefully, feeling like part of a community. Not alone.

Some of us are married to or in a relationship with another spanko. Some of us are in a relationship with a supportive vanilla*. Even more are partnered with unsupportive vanillas. Some are single and ready to mingle. There are folks who come here who have given up hope of having a spanking partner in real life - and so they live out their spankoness here. How do the words we use impact other spankos or even our own sense of self?

*For the purpose of discussion, I use vanilla to refer to any non-spanko - even if they have another fetish or kink.

Drawing by Louis Malteste.

The Martinet

My husband got to open one birthday present a little early - the martinet I ordered from The London Tanners. I was excited to finally get to experience it. It is surprisingly thuddy if used firmly, but can also be used safely on my back and thighs in a way that produces more sting. It did not leave any deep bruises, so that is a bonus. 

This is my third implement from TLT and the quality is excellent.