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Everything posted by OhRedhead

  1. 1) I grew up all over the world after being born in San Francisco. Most of the countries I lived in as a child were in Asia, near the equator. 2) I speak German. My mother was born in Berlin after the second World War. She met my Dad when he was stationed in Germany, in the Army. I spent quite a bit of time in Europe as a child and teenager since my grandmother lived there until her death. 3) I have a degree in clinical psychology but worked in nearly every field of medicine for 20+ years, including psychiatry, internal medicine, infectious disease, critical care, epilepsy, OB/Gyn, and neurosurgery. 4) I love all animals, insects and arachnids. I cured my own profound arachnophobia in the last year with education and exposure. Nature is crucial to my well-being. I would be miserable in a purely urban environment. 5) I absolutely require music to be happy. I love to sing. My musical tastes are all over the map. This is a great post. Love learning more about you guys!
  2. I vote you are done. No double jeopardy. If lying is a frequent occurrence, something is certainly amiss and needs to be discussed at length with your partner. A additional spanking will not fix a habit of dishonesty.
  3. To me, the connection is requisite. I cannot engage at all without it. The deeper the connection, the more satisfying the dynamic. Having a very significant level of trust, being able to banter or engage in deep conversation, having similar belief systems, being respected and listened to but held accountable - all play a crucial role in my strong connection with my partner. I could never engage in merely the act of spanking and get anything from it.
  4. I am proud of myself for finally accepting a part of myself that I had hidden/repressed for decades. I don't feel pride when a discipline spanking is needed, as I have been very performance-oriented and a "good girl" my whole life. I do, however, feel that submitting to something I have earned (and do not enjoy) is a sign of appropriate personal responsibility and wanting to always better myself.
  5. Maintenance works great in the dynamic I have with my partner, but every relationship is different. For me, morning maintenance serves as a way to connect with my partner before the day begins and to stay more focused on my daily goals. It is not used to heighten respect (as I already have full respect without it), but it definitely serves a beneficial purpose for me. I would never use a word such as 'necessary' to characterize anything we do in this lifestyle - except safe, sane and consensual - as every partnership is different.
  6. Not for me beyond the upper thighs. Takes me out of my mindspace.
  7. Near-daily maintenance works for me in the dynamic with my partner. It starts my day in a way that helps me with focus. It does not interfere or compete with any disciplinary spankings I earn through our agreements, which are tracked with an app. Maintenance spankings are much less intense than disciplinary spankings, but they tend to add up over the week. That also serves as a good reminder to work my goals daily. But every relationship is different, of course.
  8. Some spankings can be enjoyable for me depending on implement and longevity of the spanking. Disciplinary spankings are not enjoyable for me at the time given, but I can't deny that feeling residual soreness and thinking about it later can be. The best part for me is really feeling at peace, purged of guilt or stress, feeling cared for (and maybe re-living it, too 😉).
  9. No blood. No insults/degradation. No potty play of any kind. Spanking only on bottom and upper thighs. No punching or other forms of impact play. All commonly-used implements are fair game, except an electrical cord or similar. No full nudity. No yelling, disrespect, or discipline given in anger. Must have the option of a safe word or other form of clear communication during a spanking (green, yellow, red).
  10. Arnica gel can help a bit. Also application of something cold. If it is raw, maybe some petroleum jelly.
  11. The implement that hurts me the most is a flogger made with screen spline. It does leave tiny lacerations, so small they do not usually bleed. There is no real lasting pain from it, however. I have other heavy wooden implements that can hurt for a few days afterwards. That screen spline ('Spliney'), though.... 😑
  12. I am definitely not submissive in everyday life. Probably more the opposite, in fact. I choose to be submissive in my relationship with my partner. That does not mean I am not assertive when needed, though. I enjoy giving up control to him since it often feels that I am holding up the sky in my day-to-day life.
  13. I have always loved your videos. They are some of my all-time favorites.
  14. As an EE, it seems that I always feel the desire to surrender in a spanking (even during the pre-spanking ritual). However, because I have pretty sturdy "walls," actually doing it takes intensity and time. At some point, I do surrender. He can hear it in my voice, see it in my body language. He will also check in frequently to ask me "Yellow?"/"Red?", even in a disciplinary spanking, if it seems unclear for any reason. I think (disciplinary) spankings only work for me if I do ultimately surrender. Great question!
  15. I watch them for the same reason Ruby does. I don't tend to like the produced ones, which often seem contrived to me.
  16. I agree with this nearly 100%. The one thing that goes against who I am as a person is when people start bullying others and name-calling. We are adults and should act like it. Not that we cannot disagree. That is normal in any group of people, whether they share common interests or not. I have a pretty realistic (fairly high) threshold when it comes to responding to trolls. I do speak up sometimes, because I think WE collectively should decide what kind of a place this. People come here to share things they have often kept hidden for decades. It is hard, as I know myself. Let's keep it from feeling like junior high. PS - I think admin/mods do a fantastic job. That is not what I am getting it.
  17. I am not sure I have ever gotten to sub-space. I do get to a point in the middle where I feel bulletproof - that always ends as the spanking continues. I have never had the floaty, disconnected feelings that others describe as sub-space. So for me, one is not dependent on the other. I have noticed that the more intense spankings are likely to lead to sub-drop, which makes sense physiologically. It is not a perfect correspondence though. I am glad to help. 🙂
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