Lotsapappa
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Posts posted by Lotsapappa
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@LittleEmma, you probably don’t realize how advanced you have become as a Spanko. He appears to care for you -imho - and not willing to push you too far choosing to walk away. More for your sake.
I would let things settle down. I would also make attempt, without stalking, to understand how far apart you two really are. Meaning he wants to draw blood and considers that scale 1-10 as a 9 or 10. What number would he assign the spanking you mentioned above? I would also try to understand the the “bloody” - that is not Spanking fetish. He may not be a Disciplinarian after all and you both need to move on. There are female Pro Disciplinarians that I “knew” that progressed into pure BDSM. Avoid that crowd at least until you have a lot more and much wider experience.
Spanking bloody is unsafe but spanking still a safe activity. Taking the spankee out of it - Pain in the a$$ and time consuming. Not my thing but if one were to ask a Pro to cane you bloody, you pay for setups and clean ups. Medical grade cleaners and sterilization equipment necessary.
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@ElderlyMatron -welcome. I have a strong respect and admiration for Female spankers born 1940-1955. I meet most in their 40-50’s before I was 25 but those active past their 60’s were still outstanding.
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Etsy or your favorite kink store sell Punishment or Vampire gloves. Oxballs has options but outside the point of this thread. These are wonderful but wider net than Spankos. Work up to slapping a brick or concrete block over a period of time assuming you don’t have health issues or fragile bones in your hand. But too strong an hand will just transfer weakness to wrist or shoulder. While I have lost touch with many Pros, I recall most having wrist or shoulder surgery.
Amazon Bissell (pet hair eraser) sell dog grooming gloves that might work. Looks promising but no experience with it or similar.
The glove fetish is strong in many EE’s including myself. If EE, watch your ER roll up a sleeve put on a leather glove with wrist strap for extra grip on that nasty spencer, jokari or ebony hairbrush which ER has named.
If looking to branch out, give Oxballs glove a look.
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CFNM or clothed female nude male is powerful. Not sure it works with couples or familiar play partners. Spanko’s nudity is not a requirement. Cross into Domme/Sub territory male might only wear a collar/leash if tame or - if more intense - crawling around thanks to the Humbler.
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I have never met her but she has been around for a long time offering spanking (20 yrs my guess). The Pro Disciplinarians I knew spoke highly of very highly of her. Many of those Disciplinarians have moved into making content or disappeared into the Ether.
I believe you made a great choice.
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@Bramblewine- breakups are permanent or should be? Gonna have to disagree* Not to mention limiting Maryjane to advice only you approve or agree with. You are entitled to your own opinion but questionable telling someone seeking a group of peoples opinions another’s advice is wrong. Unless of course you know the number of grains of sand and extent of the sea as did the priestess Oracle of Delphi.
Maryjane opening a fetlife, lining up a potential is a fatal misstep for most guys. Ending relationship temporary that action becomes none of Current SO business. And same if MJ gets spanking experience outside a likely judgmental vanilla and can make a rational decision if she can live with a Vanilla. I will hold my advice here but those of us over 35 certainly know the challenge with Vanilla Spanko partners.
Relationships built on trust. How many guys could get away with their SO finding out a fetlife was opened and talk of meeting another outside relationship?
*Good thing you don’t know Ben Affleck & JLo, Sly & Jennifer, Kelly Rippa & Mark or Justin & Hailey Beebs. I gave one of those couples same advice but won’t name drop.
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@Maryjane -
My advice would be as follows. Breakup with guy 10 years older and born last century. Be alone this summer and sort out yourself. Never be ashamed of who you are or narrow your world at such a young age. And hiding your needs with no go well long term if you both stay together.
Safely explore spanking gene while single and either get it out of your system (imho unlikely) or have fun exploring and find a more compatible partner.
End of summer you catch up with him and set new boundaries. You did not cheat on him, you did not have to make excuses or be ashamed explaining your need and you will know yourself better. If one year in you are already going on fetlife that desire will only get stronger until you figure out what you both want and need.
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AB is a good company and makes good to great products. It is not about comparing BL to other beers but the global consistency of their products. Sam Adams can’t be compared to BL. Not same thing although product are beer.
Consistency is the key and AB makes consistent products globally. Which is hard.
If AB decides to support LGBT great, but then support your employees involved in campaign and ride it out not bail when going gets tough. And understanding America as AB does, leadership still does not understand Social Media and Influencers.
Almost all major beer manufacturers have advertised inclusively but quietly. Now the dots are connected.
@allisaK is right. Shareholder value and making money. 1 step forward then two steps back for AB.
But millions of individual Americans are not okay with people being put down for who they are. Lesson of the civil war. A small majority of Americans are due to self interest or hate, but that group is getting smaller has nowhere to hide.
Watch Clint in Gran Torino.
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@Cowboy_Spanks30has it right. In terms of toughening up hands, start with soccer ball then gradually work up to “slapping” harder objects going even up to a brick.
Seriously. Assuming not a medical issue. But some people just bruise more easily.
Experienced EEs toughen up as well so you could also just increase thickness of paddle progressing 1/4” to 1/2” to 5/8” if “overmatched”.
Shoulder and wrist injuries are next
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Get a cute little dog and a tee shirt that references spanking (Amazon has dozen). Then get outside with rich target park projecting experience and confidence with a famous “you don’t care if she comes, stays or prays attitude.
You may be alone but don’t have to accept lonely.
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The smell of old books, popping bubble wrap, roll down car windows and vinyl records. Oh yeah and LadyAlbans.
What are things that are Timeless Alex? -
SSC, RACK. This is spanking site. Yes, spanking part of BDSM but Spanko’s and Dommes two completely different worlds. Spankos annoy hardcore players unless hardcore started as Spanko and is really a Spanko at heart. You might have intended to bridge that gap but the individual is very well regarded on SN. You are not.
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@Bramblewine- The title of thread is “Does being a spanko make you queer?
Let me state some issues Male EEs struggle with.
1). Being a Spanko means an obsession with getting spanked
2). Finding a willing Female ER. Like licking your own elbow it is not impossible but mine as well be considered impossible.
3). Male ERs are not hard to find. Female EEs are not hard to find at least in well populated areas
4). Females, in general, are supportive of opposite sex needs. Males, in general, less so but that’s another thread
5). Male EE makes reasonable effort to create Female EE. Avoiding Female EEs that are strongly opposed.
6). Male EE strikes out #5, and finds Male ER. Being a Spanko made him queer. Yes, for a certain % of males, that makes both guys queer. For a certain %, no that does not make either guy queer.
All evidence points to @F/m_Spanking_only being innocent of your accusations. The four response posts charges are further dismissed. I rest my case. @F/m_Spanking_onlyyou are free to go about your posting.
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@F/m_Spanking_only The majority female EEs “never be an ER” have maintained that stance - until seriously trying ER role. I know more than one active SN user that was EE only but will jump into ER role for our situations. Won’t call them out but do wish both would help encourage those “female never be ER” at least try it. Main chat is a lot of “hello’s” and such encouragement to keep an open minded for F/M neglected male EEs.
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I had an adult disciplinarian starting 18 when I showed up at college. I knew I was a Spanko since jr high and no one else seemed to have same desire or let’s just call it obsession. But older adults know and I jumped at a targeted ad at college kids in help wanted section of a city guide.
No idea why but I was just obsessed getting punishment spanking (with no experience as kid). It was never about correcting behavior but more just an obsession to get spanked regularly. But pleasantly surprised when Disciplinarian could control behavior.
I know that was a ramble. But if you are young with any desire to get spanked, you can use this fetish to drive high grade point averages or just self improvement. Spankings have to be on intense side.
Highly recommend finding an experienced ER as soon as an adult.
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Agree with Topspanker. But as a coach, try assessing odds and probabilities of “winning/losing”. I coached high school level and you should be able to assess situation quickly. You would put significant effort or cut someone because of what they said/put in writing or results of a typical tryout drills? FaceTime or meeting in person early on etc. For many online is complete fantasy. For many, online allows random hookups keeping you forever arms length.
I have had success online but depends the outcome you are seeking. And knowing potential success rate. Half court shot?
That said, if you are not failing /getting rejected you are not trying hard enough. Failure is required. It is a numbers game although you could be lucky unlucky.
You struck out. Next time up to bat you going to be thinking about striking out or hitting a line drive back at the pitcher. Depends on your prep work but wow your wife is cool with it. That is major hurdle.
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Summer is banned for not taking current Top Secret leaks seriously making light (lite or that just beer) of situation referencing joke parody spy show Get Smart.
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@F/m_Spanking_only We are similar. So either you pay Pros or you are one of the fortunate to have a female SO that can hang with a Pro in terms of skills. If neither is the case - which I believe is the majority of heterosexual submissive males situation - then what? Pandemic essentially put me with the majority.
You choose no longer a Spanko retired or gulp cross the line (that we both have). Pros seem a lot cheaper suddenly. I guess a third option would be lurk in main chat and ask “did anyone get a hard spank today?” but already taken and doesn’t appear effective.
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We need to look at Quantum Physics and the double slit concept. To cut to chase, If two individuals of same biological sex that also identify as same gender engage in a spanking act they may still be considered straight. However, if this act is observed by another individual regardless of their sex/gender it may be classified as not straight. Think if you check your tire pressure air escapes making situation worse. Or temporarily worse.
If the observer joins, then straight non-straight decision is void until another observer comes along. If filmed, then I believe participants identify as actors/actresses.
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I prefer over lap which is really her bottom over my thigh. You can push her forward so hands touching ground with my back thigh higher than front so feet can’t touch legs kick and you can put person at angle and lean back (bench/bed not high back chair) so great access to both cheeks. Or shift back for different dynamic such a pinning outside arm.
I am 6ft so if she is 5’4” or under putting my foot on chair and raising her dangling over one knee and she can’t touch ground with hands or legs. I find that position very effective as even with medium intensity getting spanking in that position - well it just works.
If I am EE it all depends on her size but all things equal OTK with her back leg lock her non spanking arm tight grip my outside wrist holding me and seated on a bench so she can lean back and use larger wood paddle or Jakari or their “named” go to’s for those that see pro females.
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How can you play Jakari game without elastic and ball?
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Summer is banned for watching all episodes of Hogan’s Heroes with German subtitles on.
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Out of the shower, her bottom still pink, she smiled.
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My first 30 years experience was EE and only disappointing experiences were due lack of intensity. My best experiences were too intense but only when I would look back on them.
I kept that in mind when I became occasional ER. I believe spanking is safe for ER to push first timers/newbies but means you should know danger areas (kidneys/lower back) and medical concerns/medication (ie person has asthma etc). One can push without bloody but marks tricker as varies by person. Goldilocks but push to the too much line which experience as EE helps gauge. My experience is female only so the ask typically is next time try no thong or more exposed positions etc. I try to be very sensitive to that more than intensity.
Professional doms
in General Spanking Discussion
Posted
@Awesomeness I get it. No strings, privacy or drama. Try Twitter. I would start by going Eros City guide Atlanta BDSM section then check options (sorry males unicorns as advertising Disciplinarians) for providers that include Twitter info. Then check their Twitter Followers and Following for male options. Or just go direct Twitter and put in buzz words. You will get hang of it.