Lotsapappa

If you are in a serious relationship then don’t let other EE or ER’s come between you and partner. Only exceptions IMHO is if you’re in the Spanking industry, met at a spanking party, you attend spanking parties as a couple or one partner is a sex worker. I don’t agree honesty best approach. Keep your mouth shut and do everything to suppress the urge. But if you have to spank/spanked outside relationship you better not get caught. Or confess. And floating the idea IMHO will be a disaster long term. Wanting to bring someone else in can be as corrosive as acting on it. I do know single women/causal relationships that have multiple spanking partners over years. But once committed, that ended. I would wager that more than 50% are stuck with a vanilla. I personally would not go near anyone married/engaged or long relationship. Can’t be that guy. My advice is if you are young get as much experience as EE/ER as you can. Don’t wait for perfect partner. Get around safely but often as you can. Then if you go the serious relationship path, think hard if partner is a vanilla and learn to self spank. Or invest in a spanking machine. I am not against open relationships but look at Will and Jada. Look like complete fools.

I started at 18 with a woman in her mid forties. She had a wooden bedroom bench (armless) at end of spare bed in her spanking room. Her protocols were very similar to MS L’s only white socks were allowed on unless you count underwear hanging off one ankle. The bedroom bench was sturdy but also allowed her to rest some my weight on bed with my legs angled out or she angled my head toward floor and she could lean back or rock forward backward to get inside outside bottom cheek with full swings. The heavy bench was immobile & that setup gave her incredible leverage to pin then reposition then pin and had a shelf underneath with a selection -plus a black leather glove within reach. (I assume MS L occasionally puts on a black glove when she really means business). She was terrifying. For those in the know, G Payne level. An irrated G Payne. I can’t see a solid bedroom bench in a store without feeling the need to shake.

Yeah, I can relate about Counsellor comments although I was not married when I got similar accusation. I really don’t think she thought I was “sick” but she from monied family and reputations matter. We are Spankos but far more people are sexually repressed. I agree with F in that I am not sure I am compatible with age appropriate women, casual sex typically turns into one partner wanting more and - post pandemic I only spank first timers. And that’s just because I am a very safe referral as I was outed as Spanko years ago and it comes up that I have a special interest and skill. Small percentage of females curious find me. 90% EE and and occasional ER. Alright then. I am All In with F. Although the casual sex part will get me off course soon enough.

What is answer? A). Wait for female EE to fall in to your lap as she has been searching for you? B). Stay alone and get your kicks on SN hoping posting and chat finds this prefect match? Keeping in mind many female profiles state non sexual spanking only interest. C). Breakdown and date a vanilla hoping she “sees the light” or agrees to open the relationship for you to spank outside relationship? D). Attend every spanking event /network and go full throttle in a target rich environment. E). Give up and quote lyrics? I don’t have any good answers but curious as Spankos are hard to find offline.

Well said @Bramblewine @buffettfanSomething to think about. Religion does not work without Sin. Give that some thought. And don’t get discouraged. Look at Alec Baldwin having a bunch of kids after 55. What would real Buffet do ? Complain? Nope. Get a guitar and write EMO lyrics. Go to EMO concerts and find that crowd then start a band even if you have no talent. How about …If there is no one beside you when your sole embarks, then I will follow you into the dark… And big advantage. You really can’t spot a female Spanko but you most certainly can spot a female EMO. Because I fell in love with the girl at the rock show………sound familiar?

Is it just me or does every male EE fantasize about a Ms. L type answering a security knock with a paddle in her hand while your a$$ is on display and on fire. Here is to you Ms. L! Let me know if you have an hourly rate to train potential female disciplinarians to spank with such conviction.

Perhaps you are simply afraid of failure. And seek the unattainable as an excuse. I would suggest you think through waiting for the perfect match. You just might find her - but guys like me that stumble through life failing and getting back up to try again will eat your lunch. No experience in your 40’s will not just be a physical issue. You won’t know how to navigate a relationship, miss the signs resulting in poor communication. You will blame her but it’s simply you didn’t know enough. Your impossible standards indicate you are too judgemental and the controlling type. You gotta be top notch player to pull that off. First, learn to talk to anyone about anything and be genuinely interested in that person. But keep it up as guys who can talk to anyone and genuinely like people for who they are would never put up a wall like you. Woman are naturally selective. Buffetfan Tear down that wall! And consider getting a Sex Worker.

@Mentor_DC My experience is different. While romantic partners with mutual interest TTWY are looking for intimacy, female EEs want to explore without judgement, sexual intimacy or taking the relationship past getting a good spanking when both agree it’s needed. But this is just my experience. But I don’t generally do funishment outside a relationship.

I have never formally attended a spanking party. But many parties such as Board Walk Badness in AC I would go neighboring hotel and stay out of the group. Then decide who/when I wanted to meet and stay private. These were very well attended parties. Very easy to handle this way. Well it was pre-pandemic. I cant give good advice about actual party & events now but aware that many on SN have more recent party experience. Spanking has always been a one on one activity for me. Plus you never know who you might run into AC Vegas or Texas and while no shame, I would not want to be exposed that way or accidentally show up in parties photos on Social Media.

I suggest reframing it. Think of it as a need and you can be satisfied for a given time but it is not something you must stop doing. Spankos led successful lives and do not act as addicts. If we did, we would all be meeting up daily with each other to score a fix. I am just glad I was not wired as a Furry. 😳

Interesting this Hold Harmless agreement. Do your EE’s sign? Are these agreements recommended? Understand consent but assault if alleged covered by hold harmless ? For those that live in high rise in cities or apartments, situation is worse as your neighbors know you are Spanko. What is a twenty something to do - wait for a house?

@Longtimespanking Pandemic, things have slowed for me but I have turned down a couple post pandemic AirBnB requests. I have always wanted to be familiar with place first. I understand you can install apps on IPhone that scan for cameras which is probably just paranoia on my part. I understand hidden cameras in AirBnB (and the like) are not allowed in bedrooms and have to be disclosed in common rooms. But I do know female EE’s that prefer AirBnB above any private space as they can choose settings from online. Interestedly, Hampton and Comfort inns as @dmirk mentions were go to’s since 90’s plus an occasional Homewood. If you’re a female EE curious about hotel spanking, I highly recommend that experience at least once. @Spanknutt right about noise and that is part of the thrill. If female ER, I’ll pay for room but maybe 4-5 star better option DC area.

Tip the maid and let them know. $20 goes a long way. Wet a towel and roll up then one put under all doors as it muffles sound. Suites with inner doors best bet. You can get room near ice machine or elevator and try to coordinate with those sounds but more traffic. Or high floor near walls. Just keep individual from making sounds that someone calls police. If thin wall cheap motel find on highway with consistent road noise, get end unit or close and rent room next to it too. No matter, you will get heard and no one cares so can be part of thrill. But no full throttle unless also don’t care. Also, careful of large brands. Many are concerned with SW due to trafficking. Make sure one of you has luggage overnight bag.

A Domme/Dominatrix are much wider with interests than a Spanko. A female interested in getting a spanking could quickly be in over her head with a Dom. Or it might be a good fit. If your question is serious, read historical posts and reach out to individuals on SN that have years or at least appear experience. And truth of matter is location is important. Distance is hard to overcome. We all started a newbies so everyone on SN can relate.

Summer is banned for her profile stating Novice and her post above claiming to be innocent little lamb. Rumors has it her handle on common Spanking & Discipline sites pre pandemic was NightPain. And she made you reimburse her for any canes or hairbrushes she broke including shipping fees.

Perhaps you’re being too hard on yourself. Recently receiving my AARP card makes me look back more fondly on life’s challenges. I do believe we get happier as we age. Young people -especially woman - have many important decisions to make in their early twenties to early thirties. Many of those decisions are hard to get right first time faced. But age and time has a way of smoothing it all out. Talking to others and sharing your situation with right people can help. Good for you that you are able to share and not afraid to seek help. In terms of spanking or punishment interests, it makes you more interesting but perhaps deal with the emotional before physical. Being a Spanko I believe is lifelong. Play nice here and most people will embrace you and share similar life journeys. Tinie316. Consider taking her up on offer to talk if you change your mind about leaving.

I’d like to give a spanking to the happy couple.

Summer is banned for using homonyms and creating confusion. The first poking or mock is clear. The second use of poking unclear. Poking as in bang bang preferably doggie sex - spanking way better questionable. Or poking around as in searching through dresser for something lost may be as good as spanking if you find that missing Cartier piece. Or actually poking your EE with finger to get message across can make a spanking way better too.

@brittygirl is on the mark. I think we should encourage younger unseasoned Spankos to share their fantasies on SN to help them understand reality. Being an unexperienced EE was easy. Assuming fairly good judge of people, some spankings are better than others and you can explore unknown territory to find what is right (for you). But being an unexperienced ER was much harder. At least for me. I had enough EE experience to navigate but did not have benefit of SN or even videos. I did know a couple Leda Ladies though 🤫 But suspect My Take author was putting fantasy in writing to get feedback in the hopes of being ready to act and not being lame as ER. He started a good thread and got excellent advice from 3 well respected SN females. Well done.

As part of older group of active and experienced, I think we have a responsibility to make it easier for the younger to become satisfied Spankos. In WW2, paratroopers carried cricket clickers to clic clac to identify each other. Followed by voice exchange such as “flash” & “thunder”. Amazon carriers replicas of these clickers. And when combined with bath brush, I believe you get next day delivery if a Prime. I think EE should clic and if ER within range clac in response. Then sort out vocal handshake. Marco Polo and It was tried in 90’s but too many misunderstandings…

I was outed as EE about 15 years ago. In our age group, being a spanko was not understood or accepted. Anyone volunteer they were a spanko 70-2000? Probably not. I made the move to ER reluctantly (at first) as females in a wider and wider circle - 20 even 30 years younger - heard about me & TTWD. While the majority were amused (and a few put off/WTF), those with even the slightest spanking gene wanted to know more. My point is school punishment is no longer accepted, but school punishment was not root cause imho. Spankos are born with this gift. Internet, Hollywood, kink aware professionals and even Amazon (carrying bath brushes never sees a bathroom) make it more acceptable and much easier to explore. We have SN now - go back Manhattan 80s/90s and try to separate a spanko from the leathers. Imho Spanking with go route of Pluto. Demoted not even a fetish and Spankos will be demoted to Vanillas.

As an experienced ER, I trust you recognize screaming/begging and holding/pinning an individual should be reserved after this person has been your EE multiple times. Working someone over like that can often be a fantasy that becomes consensual but not the norm. You take position she has lost her rights - but trust you know very well could be charged with assault or even battery if prove harmed her - unless both parties are as close to 100% to go there. I am not sure I would call ER or EE experience you describe as fun but it is a need for both at your level. Many individuals on SN are here to explore and safely take leap to a first spanking. For their benefit, you seem compatible with hardcore real punishment spankings - which is best left for the very experienced players. Yes, you are a rockstar to the hardcore. But I doubt the majority of females on SN would want to meet you.

Jojo513 is banned for laughing a Summer’s allergies when there a so many other reasons to poke fun at her.

Summer is banned for using double usage instead of double entendre. Double usage would be “the the” or ‘had had” while naughty thoughts on hay would be more like - the farmers wife has some huge melon. Which is called double entendre. But Summer & Jojo I know I sound uptight and stuffy. While on subject of doubles, I will make it up to you both with “a roll in the hay”. Although Summer should probably take some Benadryl first. Although I could deal with it.

Like most in Missouri, Summer is an accomplished fiddler. But her schoolin all grades in one room could make it hard to hear. And all that fiddlin didn’t help. Flattery will get you everywhere/nowhere is the idiom outside Missouri. And therefore I must ban Summer. Fyi. Piece of mud pie is Piece of Cake. Pitchforked in the back is Stabbed in the back. Hit the hay means tired not have sex in the barn.