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About Adek

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    Birmingham UK
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  1. Wow Chawsee, thanks for such a full and detailed answer. I will share this post with my wife so we can both learn from it. I really do appreciate the amount of effort you put into responding to newbies and your insights over a number of posts have helped a lot.
  2. Does it work? My disciplinarian is my wife and we both went through our 5 year plan. I have a real problem with procrastination, she acknowledges that I’m not lazy. I would like this to be tackled through spanking but neither of us have suggested it. I’m looking at life coaching, self help books etc.. to see if these can set me straight. How has spanking helped your procrastination or laziness? Would you recommend it and most of all does it work.
  3. Reading Aunt Kay’s DWC got me interested in the DD aspect of spanking. I think of it as a spanking fetish that has benefits of merging with my life goals. Almost every story is of a vanilla wife who has been converted. I’m sure some stories are to be taken with a pinch of salt but many sound like vanilla converts. I suppose the difference is that the disciplinary wives club answers the question “what’s in it for me?”
  4. Hi Chawsee, I'm really interested in how you have succeed with this. My ER does not want all the rigmarole of restraints and we both want discipline to be applied quickly and with minimal inconvenience to her schedule. You say that holding position is a requisite but how do you make your EE comply? I simply am unable to stay still. I think both of us are disappointed after the spanking. I get completely out off position pulling trousers up, turning round etc... I don't want to but I have only one thought at the time which is to run. We are both relatively new. If not is there a simple way a w
  5. Re-reading my post I can see how you got that impression. I think what I want/need is to have a sense that there are boundaries to stop me spinning off the edge. I don’t have that anywhere, I’ve outgrown parental and sibling guidance. I’m very independent But if I’m honest this complete independence is somewhat scary. I see submission as a means of having someone on my level who can help guide me. I don’t spank or discipline my wife. It doesnt appeal to me at all though I wouldn’t object if it was something that she wanted.
  6. I almost totally agree here, which suggests perhaps there is some nuance missing from my earlier response. I am married, we’re happy and we have been for most of our 13 years together. There is give and take in our relationship as there is in many. The element that I want to add is a mechanism by which I can be held accountable. I am the main breadwinner, I am the dominant partner, i have the ability to get what I want and it is only tempered by where I set the boundary. I try to set that boundary fairly but the responsibility rests on my shoulders. In this context we would jointly agree on so
  7. Yes I really do want domestic discipline, my desire is to have my wife hold power over me for me to serve her. A few criteria need to be satisfied for this to be fulfilled. First, these need to be genuine painful punishment that I dislike (in the moment) and want to avoid. I need to know that she is willing to inflict pain as a means of retribution/punishment or enforcing her will so that I appreciate and understand the power she has. She should have the feeling that I deserve it and she wants me to suffer this pain. A couple of thoughts also occur to me... nobody holds this sort
  8. This is such a great answer thank you. I have no problems admitting that being spanked is a deeply held desire/fetish. I think you hit the nail on the head when you said I want a strong capricious woman to insist my behaviour meets her exacting standard. Just today she said she’d let me off with something or other and i responded... ”that’s your problem you let me off with everything” I think I’d rather she said “I’ll deal with you later...” that threat and that power - even if it didn’t always result in a spanking is my real craving. A powerful woman who can hold sway over me and
  9. Perhaps you can ask him to spank you without causing you pain. If he’s concerned with you being pregnant and harming you or baby he may have backed off. If you suggest he gives light taps to build both your confidence you may get something from the discipline aspect even if the pain is absent.
  10. Congratulations, I think I’ve had a very similar journey as you in recent months. I wrote a blog post about my first real DD spanking here: https://domesticdiscipline.info/my-first-dd-spanking/ This has really brought us closer and I feel nothing but love and appreciation for her doing this for me.
  11. Thanks for all the replies. I think what I’m taking away from this is that not everyone cries. We all react differently as much as I’d love to be brought to tears I don’t think that’s how I respond (at least for the moment). My wife and I are new to this and we discussed me visiting a professional disciplinarian it’d be interesting to know if I’d have a different response with an experienced ER.
  12. I’ve often read ERs speak of a spanking not starting till the tears do. I understand some EEs find tears come with ease but this has been quite elusive for me. I’d love to consent to a spanking until the tears start but I’m not sure I’d reach that point. I am disciplined with no warmup and often beg for reprieve whimpering but no tears. Does she need to go further is there a point when everyone breaks? What are the consequences of this happening/how does it affect the relationship?
  13. We have appointments sometimes I’m at my desk and I’ll get a text saying “ I’ll be up in ten minutes” usually the wait is longer and it’s agonising. Today’s Friday and I know I’ll either have a maintenance or punishment on Tuesday these are very severe if I think about it I will feel nervous/excited. Dread kicks in on the morning of the punishment but I really wouldn’t have it any other way. These are meant to be punishments to bring me into line.
  14. Has anyone else noticed how many men describe themselves as alpha males in spanko forums? Of course this isn't limited to just spankos it's the same the world over. The over reliance on the term "alpha" often suggests the opposite to me. For instance take institutions like the police force or military where there is a strictly regimented structured. The ranks of course will be full of alpha males but what percentage 10 - 20% max? So mostly police officers and military men are followers not leaders - it'd disaster if they weren't. This doesn't mean that they are not tough, strong or reliable t
  15. I agree that the empowerment of women in relationships and in wider society would be viewed as a net gain. It also brings a huge amount of untapped human capital into use that is otherwise ignored or sidelined. Speaking in a personal capacity the worst decisions I’ve made for our family have been those where I haven’t consulted my wife. Men are taught to devalue the opinion of women and their spouses and as a result fail to capitalise on the relationship. Being at the start of a DD lifestyle I see how my wife is growing into the role and if this were our dynamic back then I would have been ov
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