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About Adek

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    Birmingham UK
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    Just Starting
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  1. I wouldn’t do this. I’d feel it was unethical/ unfaithful. I’m an atheist so this isn’t coming from a religious perspective it’s just it doesn’t seem in keeping with the commitment I made. Of course your situation may be different. Have you considered couples counselling or a same sex spanking pairing? If she’s done this with you before there is the possibility that she’s seen you aroused at the thought of being spanked and doesn’t want you to share that intimacy with another woman.
  2. It’s not weird, you are spankos and you’re in the right place. If I didn’t have another outlet (my wife) and my friend was willing to do this with me I’d be all for it. There is a lot of relief from confessing ones short comings and paying the price. It feels great and you’re luck you’ve got someone to do this with.
  3. Yes, it’s pretty amazing. I posted not that long ago that I didn’t think her punishments were severe enough to curtail bad behaviour. I have a potential punishment tomorrow that I’m genuinely scared about these are for my not completing tasks I set myself. This is exactly the area I want to improve so I’m hoping I give her the encouragement to punish harshly to stop me from procrastinating.
  4. My wife has been spanking me for a couple of months now. She’s just started really upping the ante with really severe swings of the cane. I’d definitely find it hard to handle the number she’s given me in the past at current intensity. More and more I notice that she’s seems quite satisfied with her handiwork - which I love. This is a complete change from early days. I think a pivotal conversation we had was about her just going with it. Laugh if she finds it funny, not take it too seriously and if she mishits then who cares. I was also being a bit too full of advice and I’ve slowed that a lot. I was terrified of her finding it difficult if she ever “broke” me and brings me to tears - now I think we’re both looking forwards to it. The other thing that has worked is resisting the urge to push for more but allowing things to develop naturally. I think there is a realisation of a power shift in the relationship. Possibly she’s been testing me to see how serious I am about taking direction from her or would I try to step in and take over. It’s been hard at times but I’m doing as she tells me and I do enjoy her being in control. it lightens my mental stress and I love her being assertive (even when I don’t).
  5. I just looked at your profile and you’re definitely not too old. However there is a question around health - there are times where you may have a health condition that could preclude spanking either temporarily or permanently.
  6. I was gripped from start to finish, I loved the severity too and what an awesome twist with the mother being punished. Well done.
  7. I thought about this but it seems too severe for motivation and also requires a lot more effort - restraints (for me anyway) etc...
  8. I was 13 years in my relationship with my wife before coming out as a spanko. She knew that I’d had “adventures” in past relationships but we never explored these and have/had a very vanilla life with children, a happy home and all that entails. Over lockdown I told her I had a dream and in it she was spanking me - don’t judge me I had to start the conversation somehow. She asked if I wanted her to spank me and I said yes. I’ve sometimes bored her to tears with suggestions of things to read and conversations. She just wants it to be simple but I’ve introduced dd etc. One thing I have been consistent with is I promise to be the man she married, I’ll not change my attire or persona. I also promised that I will drop spanking if she wants me to and we return to life as it was before. She knows I mean it and she also loves me enough to indulge me. So here we find ourselves, my attraction to my wife has been supercharged I genuinely can’t do enough for her - the spanking thing is so sexy. I’m finding that I want more more more but I’m trying to take it easy not being a pain and recognise that she will move at a slower pace than I’d like to.
  9. The tethers I used are called buckle straps when used correctly you pull one end and it tightens but will not loosen until someone presses down the sprung buckle. Also very cheap.
  10. I cut the top (waist portion and belt hoops) off an old pair of jeans to use as a waist restraint and used canvas tethers to attach to each side of the bed. My idea was a waist restraint to stop me rolling from side to side and allow my ER access to me regardless of movement. This worked very well and is relatively quick to set up.i have it so I can reach the tethers and tighten myself down so that there is minimal movement. I’ve since updated from jeans to a tool belt.
  11. There was a very mild scolding, my spanker and I are learning the ropes she’s fulfilling a need for me which I hope will become a release for her at some point. At the moment it’s a lot to ask for a scolding though there was the tiniest reminder that the spanking was for a particular transgression. Being spanked definitely has an erotic appeal but this was not an erotic spanking. However I can’t seem to separate the two in my mind. In a roundabout way the DD is working but I feel it’s more the fact that I am under scrutiny than the fear that I will get a spanking. I worry because I know my pattern of behaviour is to comply while I’m being watched and rebel when I’m not.
  12. I want to receive real punishment spankings for misdeeds that motivate me to change my behaviour. I had a serious spanking - no warm up, 100 strokes of the cane -that made me writhe in pain and at the time I genuinely couldn’t wait for it to be over. Within hours I was craving another spanking - I don’t understand, I wasn’t meant to like it. What can I do to make these spankings more of a deterrent?
  13. I’m married to a vanilla who has given me a few good spankings in recent weeks. I wouldn’t say she’s a convert but she can see how strong my need to be spanked is and does it for me. My biggest tip would be for you (the spanko) to carry any stigma related to spanking. Allow the vanilla the space to be a vanilla indulging their spanko. If we try to convert them we are also placing the guilt and weight of being a fetishist onto them. I think this is almost more difficult for vanillas to manage than the mechanics of spanking. Of course over time they may progress from a vanilla who spanks to a vanilla who enjoys spanking etc.. but remember for many of us it took years to open up about spanking even online to strangers.
  14. I quoted the wrong post here but don't know how to delete...
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