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About IndySpanko

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  1. I would say that if someone still feels guilt for something they did wrong many years ago, then they should find a way to relieve that guilt -- and being spanked could be one way to do it. We don't want to hang onto such things. So confess to your disciplinarian and bend over! tony
  2. I suggest you initiate marriage counseling, and that at some point this issue comes up in the counseling. The counselor can help you explore why you have this craving (and possibly reduce it) and can explore with her why she is so resistant to fulfilling her spouse's desires. I would look for a counselor who is willing to meet with the two of you separately as well as together. You might search by looking at the list of Kink Aware professionals (KAP) here: https://www.kapprofessionals.org/business-directory-2/ tony
  3. My sister knows. She and I are really close and I tell her everything. She helped me through some really tough times and it made sense to tell her everything that was going on with me. She is very nonjudgmental; she just wants me to be safe and happy ...
  4. There is a group on here for Oklahoma spankos (see clubs). I haven't checked how active it is, but you could private message some of the people in that group. Also, you may actually know someone who would spank you in front of your husband. Think about the dominant males that you know. Maybe you could approach one of them. Maybe a former boss who was authoritarian towards you. Or ... do you have an older brother? It would be great if it was someone you already knew and trusted.
  5. I have found arnica gel to be really helpful for marks and bruises, and have used it both as a spanker and a spankee. Note that it is better to get the gel rather than the cream. The gel is harder to find but it works much better. I have gotten it through GNC. Apply it 2-3 times a day after a spanking and use it for several days. It will help your bottom return to its original color.
  6. Donna, it sounds like that first DD experience was too intense for you. Daily spankings are really unusual and probably not healthy, in my view. If you are being spanked no matter what, then it is not punishment or stress relief or cathartic. You need to find a partner who believes "all things in moderation," even our favorite kink. Tony
  7. When i sign in on my phone, i can see the number of messages i have in the upper righthand corner but i cannot find a way to get to my inbox and read them. When i sign in exactly the same way on my computer, i can read and reply to my messages.
  8. Ask her to read exactly what you wrote here. She will decide what you deserve and what she is willing to do. You can't top from the bottom. You just have to love and serve your Disciplinary Wife, and communicate.
  9. Steven, You seem to think that underwear is some protection. It is NOT in most cases. If the person is in the emotional state to be able to cry, they will whether their underwear is up or down. The females I have spanked over panties all had on a thin synthetic material that provided absolutely no protection. Some cried and some did not. I have spanked a male who had on 100% cotton "tighty whities" that might have provided a bit of protection. I used a small wooden paddle, and believe me, he felt it. I do not recall if he cried. Males are best punished with implements, I have found, as the hand means little to them. Women respond to the hand, and tend to appreciate it. Tony
  10. I have spanked over panties, both with my hand and implements. Because a spanking usually includes the upper thighs, it is easy to see how red the bottom is getting, even with full-coverage panties. You also can tell by the spankee's reactions, of course. The material provides very little protection other than modesty, so the spanking can be extremely effective. On one occasion, based on how the naughty lady was wriggling around, I asked, "Have you changed your mind and want your panties taken down?" She gasped and nodded yes. She found that quite erotic, as did I. Tony
  11. Hi, There are several references on here to Aunt Kay and the Disciplinary Wives Club (DWC), so I thought I would clear some of it up. This was a wonderful site that was active for many years, and Aunt Kay was a pioneer in F/m Domestic Discipline. Unfortunately, she died in 2018, and a bit before that she lost the URL to her Web site and it was taken over by an unscrupulous person who still runs it as a blog. Aunt Kay's husband, Tomy Nash, has his own blog which talks about his late wife and their DWC experiences. It is very poignantly written, as he misses his wife terribly. You can read it here: https://tomyswife.blogspot.com Before she died, Aunt Kay transferred over her materials to a new site, and it is still up and can be very helpful for couples considering F/m DD. However, Tomy is not managing it, so you cannot order materials or get a response. It is here: http://www.auntkaysdwc.com/ Before she died, Kay asked that people please use the above link and not go to the former URL that was stolen from her. If you do have questions about the DWC or Aunt Kay, you can contact Tomy directly at: Tomynash@gmail.com They were a wonderful resource and helped many couples. Tony P.S. Kay was also a fantastic artist. Here is own of her drawings as posted by Tomy on his blog:
  12. Yes, she is out of the game. I actually texted with her today and she said she has retired. Sorry to hear about your experience, Gravano. She always read me just perfectly. Best Motherly Guidance I ever had ...
  13. As a switch, I have been birched by a lady several times, and birched several other ladies. I really liked the all-over sting and the lasting red lines. In my experience, position is key: the recipient needs to be lying down over pillows so that the birch bundle can come almost straight down upon the buttocks. Very different from the typical caning position, which is bent over in a standing position. You also have to be very careful not to wraparound onto the thigh, which can cause damage and is not the "good" kind of pain. It is easier to wield the bundle if it is relatively short, closer to two feet than three. If there are lots of twigs, it makes a delicious thwacking sound as it lands. And soaking it in salt water makes the twigs more whippy, less likely to break apart, and provides more sting. We typically did sets of six strokes in the British tradition. The most I ever gave was 24 and the most I ever received was 36, which left me a very contrite boy.
  14. I am a switch and have both spanked with switches cut from trees and been spanked with them. I have experienced individual switches and a bundle. They were not necessarily from a birth tree, though those have traditionally been considered the best. The key for me and for those who I have switched is that the spanker control the "wraparound," in which the end of the switch can land on the side of the thigh rather than on the bottom. This is not only extremely painful (and not the "good" kind of pain) but can also cause damage to the thigh where the skin is quite thin. This is the same problem that inexperienced spankers can have with canes, except it is worse with a switch because they are not perfectly straight and are harder to control. The bundle, of course, is even harder than an individual switch. The key with a bundle, in my experience, is to have the spankee lying down and come straight down with the bundle -- like in the pictures. Do not use a bundle as you would a cane, with the spankee standing and bending over. I notice in the pictures above that the spanker is very good at making sure the end of the switch hits the bottom, not the side of the thigh. When switched properly, the feeling is quite delicious. It burns like fire but it goes away quickly ... but leaves red welts that can last for hours and be felt with the fingers or when you sit down. It's also a very quiet implement, so great for couples with children. I actually think it is my favorite implement ...
  15. Look for folks near you on here and see what their reputation is on here and the experience they describe. There was a guy on here who actually created a map of the country and listed spankers, but I don't think it is active any more. Maybe others on here know more about that.
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