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Bramblewine

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Everything posted by Bramblewine

  1. Yes... and legal issues aside, the fact remains that if a relationship involves consensual spanking, it is a deeply personal relationship. No matter whether it's sexual or not, no matter whether or not the parties involved ever see each other outside of a spanking scene. Deeply personal relationships between supervisors and subordinates are not appropriate, period. Friendly relationships, yes, but it needs to stay professional. Add a spanking dynamic, and it's no longer a purely professional relationship. Having this kind of relationship with your boss is just as inappropriate as dating each other would be. If she were no longer your boss, that would be different. As long as she is, it's not appropriate to be in a spanking relationship with her.
  2. Not in the workplace, it isn't. Seriously. See @rubyredd's excellent post. The only place workplace spankings are acceptable and won't get anyone fired, sued, or criminally prosecuted is spanko fantasyland.
  3. Indeed. Is it even possible to rip up college work anymore? My understanding is that papers are always submitted electronically now. But I haven't been in college since before electronic submissions were a thing, so I can't speak from experience.
  4. Stop doing it. Only you can stop yourself from getting so drunk that you're hungover when you have class (and if you can't, you have a problem that won't be solved by any kind of punishment). Only you can choose not to rip up other people's work. Only you can choose to act like an adult instead of a two-year-old. If you're hoping for someone to spank you and make you stop, that's a fantasy. If someone did spank you, that wouldn't be the reason you stopped behaving that way. It might be the reason you give yourself permission to stop behaving that way, but the permission would still be coming from you. And if this behavior really is out of your control, being spanked won't help. Bottom line: if you really are doing these things, and not just fantasizing about it, you're being self destructive. That has real world consequences that a spanking can't solve. If this is a fantasy that you want to use as a rationale for spanking if and when you find a spanker, well and good, but don't wreck your life just to act out a fantasy.
  5. I'm in the same minority. Some of my fantasies involve discipline, but they're really funishment fantasies. It's really all about being spanked. The excuse for it, if there is one, is just window dressing.
  6. I wouldn't have an ER who would order me to do anything, outside of an agreed upon scene. If that was the scene we'd agreed upon, then I'd be game. If it weren't, they would not remain my ER.
  7. I'd be willing to spank a partner if it were what they wanted, but what really turns me on is being spanked, not giving the spanking. If I were to spank someone, that would be called service topping, or service switching. I'm not a true switch, but I would be capable of trying on the other role if necessary. Some people do like both roles, but they don't necessarily fill both roles with the same partner. I've seen a lot on here about people being a spankee with certain partners and a spanker with others, but not both with the same person. To my mind, that makes sense: each relationship is a different dynamic. I still don't see it being for me, but I can see the appeal for people who desire both roles. And there are people who do switch roles with the same partner, though from what I hear, it sounds like they rarely if ever switch in the same session. It's more like, Person A is in dominant mode one day, and another day Person B is.
  8. In addition to the heightened sensitivity mentioned up thread, if you're having cramps and taking anything for them, be aware that most pain relievers are also blood thinners, and may make you bruise more easily, up to 48 hours after your last dose. And of course, if you're spanked bare bottom, mess might be an issue, depending on how heavily you're bleeding and what kind of menstrual protection you use. Theoretically, a tampon or menstrual cup would prevent that, but for some of us that wouldn't necessarily be the case on a heavy day. If you prefer pads, your protection would be gone when your panties come down. So, you might want to be spanked over underwear, or spread a towel. With those caveats in mind, you can be spanked on your period.
  9. I'm not going to be that nosy. Wouldn't be ethical. Especially when a job requiring trust is involved. But if it were my own neighbor, and not someone I'd encountered through a job, I'd be tempted!
  10. So I have this pet sitting gig. The client gives me their wifi info so I can put my phone on it while I'm at their place. They live in a large apartment building, so there are lots of neighbors, lots of wifi networks nearby. As I'm scrolling through the wifi networks looking for my client's, I see one of their neighbors has named their network SPANK ME. Wish I knew who it was. They must be a kindred spirit!
  11. That's it, exactly: you're caught up in your fantasy. But as it is, your reality doesn't match your fantasy. It sounds like your partner doesn't share your fantasy. If he ever did, perhaps it wasn't as deep a fantasy for him. Perhaps he's moved on from it. Or perhaps your fantasy was never his, he got something else out of it when he spanked you. This is a separate issue from your desire for spanking. The way you've described your situation, it sounds to me like you're holding onto a very common spanko bottom's fantasy: "I'm wrecking my life, I can't control myself, but if only someone would take charge and spank me, I'd stop wrecking my life and I'd have it all under control." In reality, if you are in fact wrecking your life, being spanked isn't going to change that. Maybe, if you're really caught up in that fantasy, you would only give yourself permission to stop wrecking your life if you got spanked... but it's still your decision. This problem you're having with school is neither here nor there. It doesn't sound like deliberate life wrecking on your part, but neither is it something that would change just because you got spanked, if you got spanked. Maybe being spanked would help you feel better, but it wouldn't change the situation. At the end of the day, spanking is a need if you're wired for it, and it's a need you're not getting met right now, but it's not the be all and end all. You also have other needs. Including a need to manage your own life, in whatever way works best for you.
  12. This. Context is everything.
  13. Depends on who's making the comment and in what context. If it's a stranger on the street, that's icky and inappropriate. If it's your boyfriend saying, "Wow, hot bod," when you're in the bedroom together, that's entirely different. Coming from someone who's closer than a stranger but not as close as a boyfriend, it depends. I once had a male friend say to me, just casually, "You look nice today," and then he got flustered and worried that he'd said something inappropriate. I didn't take it that way, because he wasn't saying it as a come on, it wasn't flirtatious, even, it was just a nice straightforward thing to say. But... and this is a huge but... the same words said in a different tone could have creeped me out. Sometimes guys say that and it's all about undressing you with their eyes. I think what it comes down to is, we sense when we're being objectified, and what makes it objectification versus just a nice compliment is the energy of the interaction. Not the words, necessarily, because the very same words can be objectification or just a compliment.
  14. Probably all of us are in our underwear right now. Most of us also have something on over it. Like we do most of the time.
  15. I saw the subject line and thought at first that you were talking about bringing up child ghosts. Or maybe breeding ghosts like animals.
  16. @Naomi thanks for checking back in, and I'd be happy to read anything you want to write. I enjoy your blogs and posts. We're in very different places regarding spanking, and yet what you have to say strikes a chord with me. Sounds like what ended up happening at work is mostly restorative justice. You've got multiple people on your side regarding helping you improve.
  17. Also this. A truly bad person would never think they were bad, no matter what they did.
  18. This. I wonder why Victoria thinks she should give you a more severe punishment if your employer disciplines you than if they don't. No matter how your employer chooses to handle it, the way you behaved is no more and no less bad, and the effect on the team member you chewed out is the same. If anything, I would think getting disciplined by your employer should lead to less of a punishment from your personal disciplinarian, not more, because you'll have already been punished. It's if your employer doesn't discipline you, not if they do, that you'll need more from your disciplinarian.
  19. Sounds like spanking is the most crucial part of your sexuality. You can have other sexual interests too if you keep yourself open to spanking, but if you shut it down you shut down your whole sexuality. Or maybe both your desire to be spanked by other men and your attraction to women are equally crucial parts of your sexuality, but you've never been ashamed of your attraction to women and never tried to shut it down, so you've never seen the domino effect coming from that direction. Either way, you can't have your sexuality without spanking.
  20. Same as your friendships tend to work, only with you in the opposite role from your usual. In this case you're the one receiving support. Does that seem impossible to you?
  21. Unless it genuinely is a professional relationship, why should you treat it like a professional relationship? If you hire a professional dom, sure, that's a professional relationship, similar to personal trainer or massage therapist. But it sounds like what you're talking about is being play partners, with no money changing hands. And I'm defining play very loosely here: if it's a disciplinary dynamic, that counts too. The point is that this person is a friend who spanks, but not your significant other. That kind of relationship is a personal relationship. Why shouldn't you be personal friends?
  22. I wonder if you got pmed by the same jerk who pmed me to say I really should try a disciplinary relationship, right when I'd posted that a disciplinary dynamic is not for me. Some people are just out to violate everyone's boundaries.
  23. Too much work is only too much if all it does is drain you and there's no payoff. Some things just take a lot of work. Something taking a lot of work doesn't mean it isn't necessary. It might be absolutely necessary. Like, you know, figuring out your gender identity if it's not what you were assigned at birth, or your sexuality. Or coming out and talking about it.
  24. Heck yeah! When I signed up for this site, my heart was pounding a mile a minute. It felt like such a huge risk. Even though I'm as anonymous as I want to be on here. Even though it's just online discussion, like I've participated in plenty before (not much about spanking, though). Now I'm facing the possibility of meeting at least one or two fellow spankos in person. Just to get to know each other, there's no expectation of being anything but friends, but that's also a huge, drastic step. First one on the journey to finding someone I could play with. I do want to find at least one play partner, and ultimately, ideally, have a romantic partnership with someone who is also a spanker to my -ee. But that's not where I'm at yet.
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