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Everything posted by Bramblewine

  1. Preferences, no, but accessibility, yes. Is the day version prohibitively difficult for you to use? If you weren't a member, you didn't know you could change the skin, and all you could see was the day version, would that prevent you from joining?
  2. Could the day theme be set as the default instead of the night one? As it is, for new people to be able to join this site, they have to be able to navigate the default theme. Dark colored backgrounds aren't accessible to everyone. For me, text on a very dark background can be so prohibitively difficult to read that if I landed on a site with that kind of skin, I wouldn't/couldn't join: it would be too much for me to even navigate the setting up process. And unless I knew for absolute certain that I would be able to select a background that works for me once I had joined, I wouldn't even consider trying. When you land on the default skin and you're not a member, there's no way to tell if you can choose another background, let alone what the other background looks like. But I've never heard of anyone being unable to read a site with a lighter colored background. If anyone is, please chime in!
  3. Yes, although it still takes an insanely long time to access my messages.
  4. The name CF Publications rings a bell, but I don't associate it with any specific spanking story or author. Sounds like they deal with anything and everything in spanking fiction?
  5. The opening looks a little too high to me. It doesn't expose much of the buttocks below the crest, mainly above. That's mostly out of the safe play zone.
  6. You can update your age. I've had two birthdays since I joined, and I updated it each time. What's different here from on other forums where showing your age is an option is that it doesn't update automatically. Everywhere else I've ever seen that feature, once you've put your birthdate into the system, it updates your age automatically whenever you have a birthday.
  7. As of today, I can no longer reply to private messages. Someone sent me one, and it took a VERY LONG TIME to get into my inbox, then to open the message; in fact, the connection timed out a couple of times before I finally got in. And then, when tried to reply, I could not get the cursor to appear in the reply box. Clicking in it just showed me the hand icon, the kind you usually get to open something. I couldn't type anything in that box. Bug, update side effect, or permanent disability?
  8. I completely agree with @AfterGeometry and @Chawsee. The only appropriate place to use it would be a spanking party, or maybe the privacy of your own home, if no one but the two of you is in the house. (And better make sure you put it away before any vanilla company comes!)
  9. Whoa... that doesn't sound respectful. Just because you don't share someone's anal stretching kink, is no reason to put it down. That's rather like someone saying... I can't quite think of the words, but it's like if someone put you down for being into spanking. Degradee is in the urban dictionary, defined exactly the way I would expect (except that it throws in "typically female," which doesn't make that much sense to me): https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Degradee Even without the dictionary definition, it's easy enough to figure out. If someone who gets spanked is a spankee, a degradee is someone who gets... what? Degraded, of course. And since we're talking consensual adult acts here, a degradee is someone who WANTS to be humiliated. Not everyone's cup of tea, of course, but then, neither is being spanked.
  10. I think we're looking at the difference between being attracted to acts and being attracted to people. All of us are attracted to spanking. That's why we're here. We may also be attracted to the people who spank us or who we spank - but not everyone is. We may also be attracted to people outside of a spanking context - or not. We may also be attracted to other kinds of acts. Sounds to me like the OP is attracted to both spanking and humiliation. Whether or not he's also attracted, physically, to the people he shares (or wants to share) those acts with, is a very individual thing. Some people can't have one without the other. For others, those are separate things.
  11. Thought about it, yes. I'm female, I've always considered myself straight because it's definitely men I prefer for the usual kind of sex and romantic stuff, but I'm open to spanking play with people of any gender. To my mind, it's a small quirk in my sexual orientation: I'm into spanking, but I'm also into vanilla sex. Plenty of spankos have little or no interest in sex, or can't get into it without spanking, but I can go both ways on that. So, I guess my sexual orientation is mixed: what I'm into, the kind of act, goes two ways, and who I'm into for what kind of act differs, too. Someone somewhere on these boards suggested "bi spanko" as a term for that. I have no problem seeing it as a slight touch of bisexuality in myself. But that doesn't necessarily mean that's what it is for you. Gender dynamics are certainly a part of what we do. I mean, I have different dynamics with my male friends than my female friends, even when all it is is platonic, vanilla friendship. And, interestingly, I see very different dynamics between myself and gay male friends than with straight male friends, although the dynamic I have with my female friends doesn't change based on their sexual orientation. I haven't engaged in spanking play with anyone so far except a previous boyfriend, but I'm sure that if I did play with different partners, friends of different genders, there would be different dynamics involved with each.
  12. It's happened for me. When I was in a relationship and got spanked, I would have multiple light orgasms during the spanking at least half the time. And when we had sex after, it would be an extra sexy sex with more and stronger orgasms. But the spanking orgasms happened without any other sexual activity at the same time.
  13. Thank you for keeping us posted. This is a journey that many have taken, not necessarily willingly. If anyone does give you any crap trying to get your panties down, report them. That's disrespecting your boundaries. Echo what @shygurl said. It does take time, and love does need to come first.
  14. A thought: would it be possible, sometime before the final decision is made, to let us see the skins under consideration, and give feedback? Or does the way the theme is being designed not allow for that?
  15. I just stumbled on the new theme before seeing your update and thought, neat! The light one works for me. If you're going to change the colors, any neutral or muted pastel theme would also work.
  16. But you and I are inhabiting the same time. Only I'm fiction. 😄
  17. THANK YOU for saying that. I felt the same way when I watched that video. I've been considering joining her Patreon community (haven't taken the leap, though) and knowing she thinks that about real names/faces is what really gives me pause. I know they have video meetings, so if I did that, my face would be seen, and if I were showing my face in any group, realistically I'd tell them my name - my first name, at any rate. But when I step into anything online, I prefer anonymity. Every discussion board I've ever used, I have a screen name that is in no way a match for my real one, and rarely if ever a match for any other screen name I use. One discussion site I belong to, I ended up linking my blog, which does have my real name on it, because it's about a subject that matches the raison d'etre of that discussion site, but still, people have to go looking to find it. And the other stuff I discuss online isn't as sensitive as this. For now, I'm just Bramblewine in the spanking community, and my only spanking community is here. If (when?) it becomes an irl thing, I'd have to use my real name, of course. But if I join another spanking-related site, I'd want to do it as Bramblewine, initially.
  18. If someone's making you uncomfortable, block them. Doesn't matter why. "Do you self spank?" could be a reasonable question to ask on here, depending on who's asking who and what the context is. It can also be an inappropriately personal question, depending again on context. Especially if the asker is also asking other personal questions and hasn't established the kind of relationship with the askee that would make those questions okay. You never have to answer a question you don't want to answer. You never have to interact with people you don't want to interact with, either.
  19. Not really, but.... Venus will be retrograde from December 19th to January 29th. Despite all the scary things pop astrology says about retrogrades, it's very common for new relationships to start during them. Why that might be so would be a whole other topic, and of course whether or not it happens to you personally depends on a whole lot of other things.
  20. She hasn't said she's going to marry this guy. She has said, somewhere in her other posts about her spanker, that he's around her age, and that spanking is strictly disciplinary for her. Some people prefer not to mix a disciplinary dynamic with a romantic/sexual relationship. I don't know if @Naomi is one of them, but let's not assume anything unless she decides to tell us.
  21. If he stays your boyfriend long term, you can't keep it from him long term. Both because, as you say, he'll notice the marks, and because it's only fair for your partner to know about the important other relationships and pursuits in your life. That doesn't mean you have to tell him right away. When it's a brand new relationship, it's natural not to disclose everything yet. There are probably other personal things you're not going to tell him until you've gotten to know each other better. He may have some of his own, too. That's natural. Could it be a struggle for him to understand it? Yes. That's a valid concern. Might he decide it's a deal breaker for him? Again, yes. But he just as easily might not. You won't know until you cross that bridge. Does he know your spanker? If not, he surely will in time, as you introduce him to your friends. You do not, of course, have to tell him the minute you introduce them that this friend spanks you, but if you introduce him as a good friend of yours, and they get to know each other, then perhaps you and spanker friend could disclose it together. Or you could tell your boyfriend alone. If the spanker friend is someone he's gotten to know a bit, not just an abstract, it may be easier for him to integrate. That could also help with any jealousy that might come up. I once had a boyfriend express some serious jealousy about a close platonic male friend I went to see on a trip back home, which bf couldn't accompany me on, but the jealousy completely evaporated as soon as I got to introduce them to each other.
  22. Exactly this. Except maybe the bullying part. I'd call it bullying if he's strongly insisting on it over your objections, but if this is just an idea he floated and he's thoroughly respecting your right to nix it, that's different. The way you worded your post, and the way you've been describing your -er, sounds to me like it's the second. I wouldn't think it's necessarily a bad idea for someone who isn't as private as you are, aside from the risk @Longtimespanking points out - people might thing you're being abused - but if you can't even tolerate being spanked bare bottom, and you can't even stand to let anyone but your -er and some online folks who never see your face know that you get spanked at all, letting a marked bottom show in public would be way too much for you.
  23. I wonder how antiquated this piece really is. When did the term "HoH" come into being? That right there makes me think this whole thing is about a DD dynamic.
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