Bramblewine

Preferences, no, but accessibility, yes. Is the day version prohibitively difficult for you to use? If you weren't a member, you didn't know you could change the skin, and all you could see was the day version, would that prevent you from joining?

Could the day theme be set as the default instead of the night one? As it is, for new people to be able to join this site, they have to be able to navigate the default theme. Dark colored backgrounds aren't accessible to everyone. For me, text on a very dark background can be so prohibitively difficult to read that if I landed on a site with that kind of skin, I wouldn't/couldn't join: it would be too much for me to even navigate the setting up process. And unless I knew for absolute certain that I would be able to select a background that works for me once I had joined, I wouldn't even consider trying. When you land on the default skin and you're not a member, there's no way to tell if you can choose another background, let alone what the other background looks like. But I've never heard of anyone being unable to read a site with a lighter colored background. If anyone is, please chime in!

Yes, although it still takes an insanely long time to access my messages.

The name CF Publications rings a bell, but I don't associate it with any specific spanking story or author. Sounds like they deal with anything and everything in spanking fiction?

The opening looks a little too high to me. It doesn't expose much of the buttocks below the crest, mainly above. That's mostly out of the safe play zone.

You can update your age. I've had two birthdays since I joined, and I updated it each time. What's different here from on other forums where showing your age is an option is that it doesn't update automatically. Everywhere else I've ever seen that feature, once you've put your birthdate into the system, it updates your age automatically whenever you have a birthday.

As of today, I can no longer reply to private messages. Someone sent me one, and it took a VERY LONG TIME to get into my inbox, then to open the message; in fact, the connection timed out a couple of times before I finally got in. And then, when tried to reply, I could not get the cursor to appear in the reply box. Clicking in it just showed me the hand icon, the kind you usually get to open something. I couldn't type anything in that box. Bug, update side effect, or permanent disability?

I completely agree with @AfterGeometry and @Chawsee. The only appropriate place to use it would be a spanking party, or maybe the privacy of your own home, if no one but the two of you is in the house. (And better make sure you put it away before any vanilla company comes!)

Whoa... that doesn't sound respectful. Just because you don't share someone's anal stretching kink, is no reason to put it down. That's rather like someone saying... I can't quite think of the words, but it's like if someone put you down for being into spanking. Degradee is in the urban dictionary, defined exactly the way I would expect (except that it throws in "typically female," which doesn't make that much sense to me): https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Degradee Even without the dictionary definition, it's easy enough to figure out. If someone who gets spanked is a spankee, a degradee is someone who gets... what? Degraded, of course. And since we're talking consensual adult acts here, a degradee is someone who WANTS to be humiliated. Not everyone's cup of tea, of course, but then, neither is being spanked.

I think we're looking at the difference between being attracted to acts and being attracted to people. All of us are attracted to spanking. That's why we're here. We may also be attracted to the people who spank us or who we spank - but not everyone is. We may also be attracted to people outside of a spanking context - or not. We may also be attracted to other kinds of acts. Sounds to me like the OP is attracted to both spanking and humiliation. Whether or not he's also attracted, physically, to the people he shares (or wants to share) those acts with, is a very individual thing. Some people can't have one without the other. For others, those are separate things.

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Thought about it, yes. I'm female, I've always considered myself straight because it's definitely men I prefer for the usual kind of sex and romantic stuff, but I'm open to spanking play with people of any gender. To my mind, it's a small quirk in my sexual orientation: I'm into spanking, but I'm also into vanilla sex. Plenty of spankos have little or no interest in sex, or can't get into it without spanking, but I can go both ways on that. So, I guess my sexual orientation is mixed: what I'm into, the kind of act, goes two ways, and who I'm into for what kind of act differs, too. Someone somewhere on these boards suggested "bi spanko" as a term for that. I have no problem seeing it as a slight touch of bisexuality in myself. But that doesn't necessarily mean that's what it is for you. Gender dynamics are certainly a part of what we do. I mean, I have different dynamics with my male friends than my female friends, even when all it is is platonic, vanilla friendship. And, interestingly, I see very different dynamics between myself and gay male friends than with straight male friends, although the dynamic I have with my female friends doesn't change based on their sexual orientation. I haven't engaged in spanking play with anyone so far except a previous boyfriend, but I'm sure that if I did play with different partners, friends of different genders, there would be different dynamics involved with each.

It's happened for me. When I was in a relationship and got spanked, I would have multiple light orgasms during the spanking at least half the time. And when we had sex after, it would be an extra sexy sex with more and stronger orgasms. But the spanking orgasms happened without any other sexual activity at the same time.

Thank you for keeping us posted. This is a journey that many have taken, not necessarily willingly. If anyone does give you any crap trying to get your panties down, report them. That's disrespecting your boundaries. Echo what @shygurl said. It does take time, and love does need to come first.