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About Leem

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  1. Over one knee is my favorite, it feels intimate and they have more control. Although, being spanked while cuddling was a nice touch too.
  2. I didn't handle my last spanking too well and I still get upset with myself about it. I tend to really fight it and try to interfere and squirm away when I'm trying so, so hard to be good and stay still. I kept apologizing because I expected my spanker to get mad and just stop (of course he never did, thankfully). We handled it with restraints which is something I'd definitely want to use more down the road, especially over the knee. It just makes me feel like a bad spankee when I can't be still, and it worries me for future sessions down the road.
  3. My biggest fantasy throughout college was to be spanked by a professor/TA, but that was just a fantasy. Getting the cane used on me. Being spanked while masturbating. Filming my spanking. Not being a wimp and being better at taking my spankings, lol. same big goal as @Chawsee
  4. Losing the friendship is the hardest part. Happy memories do become hard because you just want to relive them. But like you said, sometimes it's just time. I know he's better off and have to trust he's being taken care of. Everything has to happen for a reason. I hope you find your person ❤️
  5. Absolutely. It's my go-to reason for spanking... or I act bratty when I'm stressed/emotional so that I can get a spanking. Supposed to be taking a break from spanking sites as I work through finals, but it's too good of an outlet. Would give anything for a stress relief spanking right about now.
  6. The vulnerability and trust. Testing boundaries and pushing them to learn a lesson or release some tension/emotions. I tend to block out my emotions to protect myself, so the pain of a spanking lets me feel fear and sadness and all of that in a safe, comfortable setting. There's no better feeling than being over the spanker's knee, except for laying on his chest afterward and fighting back the tears. I'd love for domestic discipline to be part of my relationships for those reasons, a girl can dream lol.
  7. Been trying to take a lot of this advice. Some days I feel better than ever, others not so much. Working on limiting my time on these sites and wondering if the person ever thinks about me still. Wanting to mean something when you can't messes with your heart. But like I mentioned previously, I did open up to my roommate about everything. It helps to have a shoulder to cry on and hype me up ❤️ Once I'm sure about where I'll be living later this year, I'll definitely have more of a peace about finding someone new, spanker or otherwise. For now, focusing on taking care of myself and finishing my
  8. thank you everyone for all of the great advice ❤️ i do want to clarify this was a mutual decision and i think nothing but the best about him. he deserves the world. i just have moving on to do on my end and all of this advice definitely helps. a break from sites is definitely needed. thank you everyone, i appreciate it a lot
  9. I replied to a similar forum, but wanted to make a post to hopefully connect with people who have been through this. It's been 3 weeks since saying goodbye to my spanker/friend and I'm struggling. How do you move on from something like this, especially when I fell so hard? I just ignore messages from other spankers at this point, I won't be ready for a long time and can't imagine someone as special as him. I miss him so much and can't stop thinking about him. He might see this, but it's nothing he doesn't know lol. I have a good spanko friend my age that makes talking about things easier, but
  10. It's just as hard when it was a good one. Good or bad, it's so hard losing someone with this dynamic. Like someone else mentioned, you're losing a really close friend in the process. I was foolish and fell in love over time, so it really is a grieving process. I'm nowhere near finding someone new in this dynamic, but I have to trust there have to be more amazing people like him. And when you've had a bad experience, because there are people who don't have good hearts, you have to trust that there are amazing people waiting to be met, too.
  11. My bottom took a lot during my last session, beyond a spanking. Butt plugs lubed with Vicks, an enema, anal inspection (my favorite), and figging that made me safe word it hurt so bad - my hole was just as sore as my cheeks for days. I wouldn't have traded it all for the world though. It amplified the punishment and really showed a lot of trust. Really special.
  12. I'm leaving the online spanking world, but wanted to share one last instance. This last week hit hard, so I stupidly got very cross faded last night. Then woke up hungover and late for class. I want to be disciplined so badly for it, but I've learned too many people want to "discipline" on here and similar sites without good intentions and just make me feel worse. Submitting has gotten too difficult when you have trust issues. So giving myself one last good self spanking for a long time... with the added punishment of a plug with Vicks until my work's done. Hoping leaving the spanking world wi
  13. The release you can get after a bad day is the best. I've had a rough day/week myself so I'm "looking forward" to getting a self spanking release, too. Being sore is one of the best feelings!
  14. It's one of my favorite parts of a punishment. It's oddly comforting while being humiliating, too.
  15. Completely agree to this. Crying from the spanking is hard, but being actually scolded by spankers is what gets me, especially if I already feel guilty. I'm not very trusting with new spankers either, so finding people good at finding the balance of scolding/punishment/aftercare is always nice. I've made some bad decisions lately that have had their consequences, so I'm overdue for a good scolding and discipline.
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