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About wide_eyed

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  • Birthday 02/11/1972

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  1. I saw a comment once to the effect that a person wasn't "really" spanked until they had been made to show more than they wanted. Or alternately put, that's when they knew they had been spanked. I'm not going to argue that's a realistic standard, but that's when it gets interesting. If they aren't doing that then the spankee is winning the battle of wills. Where's the fun in that? I agree that when it comes to spankings, stoicism=boring. I'm interested in spanking as an act of dominance, and that's most clearly displayed by the spanker making the spankee have reactions against their own wi
  2. Perhaps it's the link between intimacy, vulnerability and exposure. Being intimate with someone means exposing oneself, sharing the parts of oneself that are kept private, and that requires vulnerability. If our secrets weren't sensitive affairs we wouldn't keep them largely to ourselves, occasionally selectively sharing them. Perhaps those who get aroused at least some of the time by humiliation tend to feel vulnerability easier and this feeling of vulnerability leads to a view of the encounter as being intimate and therefore arousing. That's in pretty broad strokes, and doesn't explain why t
  3. This is one of my favorite moments to see depicted in a drawing or story. Unfortunately I can't imagine it happening all that often between adults. It probably wouldn't be healthy to be quite that sensitive and vulnerable to each other as adults. But those who are as fascinated by this type of shameless display of loss of composure as I am might find this image amusing: http://banjosbbs.blogspot.com/2011/09/art-hairbrush-dance.html
  4. Contemplative practices have been at the heart of numerous religious traditions for centuries. Meditation, in the broad sense meaning including contemplative prayer and concentration and insight practices and mindfulness, has proven itself to be one of the few effective ways, if not the only one, of cultivating equanimity. I suppose aging is another proven method. On the other hand it isn't for everyone, and for some it may be contraindicated. There's also been some criticism about separating it from a religious context and making it an entirely secular practice. I think that's a bit overstate
  5. I think it's more about how it is likely to be seen by others. Is there a potential for its exposure to result in bearing a mild stigma? Stigma is a strong word, even after qualifying it as mild, but yeah there could be a social cost. And the more immature and simplistic one's social circle, the higher the risk. I also think most people, if not the overwhelming majority, would see it as a submissive act. An important question here is whether the audience is likely to interpret the desire to take a submissive role as meaning they are submissive on some deeper level, or alternately, whether
  6. I understand why this concerns you. It is a risk. You aren't going to get an answer that gives you certainty before you act, but maybe you can hedge your bets a little. You describe yourself as a socially dominant guy, assertive, maybe aggressive, OK. Is that what attracts your girlfriend? If so, then in your shoes I'd be disinclined to share that part of myself. If it's a part of your personality that she accepts but isn't particularly impressed by, then just the opposite. I'd also start making occasional light-hearted comments somewhat complimentary about pushy, demanding, bossy, bitchy wome
  7. Soft spoken, calm, good judgment, both enjoys and deserves a position of authority. I've written a little more on the psychology of an ideal spanker and the sorts of things they might do elsewhere. But the above is a pretty good chunk of it. Strong is good. I remember reading some time ago that one woman who went to a social gathering of Aunt Kay's Disciplinary Wives Club was a former high level volleyball player who mostly gave hard hand spankings. I think that combination of height, strength and preference for using her hands would be very attractive to a good sized group of male EEs.
  8. I wouldn't say so, it feels like conflating two different things. But it does raise an interesting question. Is the attraction to spanking as strong as the attraction to a particular gender (assuming one has a preferred gender)? No, it isn't quite that strong for me, but it is somewhat comparable. Would the potential of having the right spanking relationship with a man be enough to set aside my desire for a female partner? Not for me, no. I've never met someone where that would be a possibility, let alone that be something I would be willing to investigate. But I can see how it would be f
  9. In real life, with receiving at 1A and giving at 1B. Stories express the emotional vulnerability, that is for me at the heart of spanking, and also depicts the scolding better than any other medium. Images come right after stories in portraying exactly what I find arousing which is perhaps not that easily found in real life. Videos. There's a pretty big drop between 3 and 4. There's not that much that does everything right. To be fair to the creators, it's impossible to please everyone when we're all so picky, not to mention incompatible. Anyways a video of a spanking where the
  10. Seems to me like the tops of the thighs are a perfect spot to hand spank. If you finished with a hand spanking and I could see extending the targeted area a little further south. Using a strap there does sound a little harsh.
  11. Same. Despite being obsessed with the subject from forever I really didn't recognize how important being on the receiving end was to me. I suspect it's because I found the prospect too disturbing. It must have been overwhelming on some psychological level, which is funny because the fantasy was of my being emotionally overwhelmed. The idea of my being attracted to getting a spanking that left me making a spectacle of myself and crying unreservedly at the hands of my spanker was probably just too much to handle. So I off loaded it onto a partner being the one who got spanked. But still, giving
  12. Not a female spanker but I can't stop myself from contributing here. There's a few different terms for this catharsis that are pretty good, "learning a lesson", "age regression", "spanking babble", "getting worn out" and the like, but my favorite is "bare bottom freak-out". I think I can take credit for this particular phrase, maybe someone coined it before me but I've never seen it in print. And on this subject, I do consider myself quite well read.
  13. Well, you might not care, but that is a consensual disciplinary relationship.
  14. Just a different way of saying bare from the waist down.
  15. Far be it from me to say she shouldn't. I think you misunderstand because that's not where I'm coming from at all. I did after all say "I have an attraction to that kind of relationship". So I'm not one to think that's a bad thing. What I was talking about in the last paragraph is the possibility of one partner (male or female) deciding that they are going to spank their spouse without discussion and consent. I don't think that kind of discipline gets imposed very often at all, even if it is a common fantasy. It's a good thing it doesn't because it would be without consent. And as for wom
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