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About wide_eyed

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  1. F/M, hairbrush. Are amateurs with a website still amateurs? I think so, but not entirely sure. Maybe tears, maybe just exaggerated. Anyway, it's pretty good. She has a relaxed approach and swing, and it's that casual authority that I find attractive more than anything, but the spanking is good too. https://xhamster.com/videos/when-she-s-mad-at-me-12851654
  2. What you should, make that could, do here is entirely dependent on your mother's personality and your relationship with her. It isn't the sort of thing any of us could determine from a few adjectives describing her in a very general way like whether she is 'permissive' or 'strict'. I would think it has more to do with how judgmental she is of unconventional lifestyles and how bold she is. Having an orgasm beforehand would make it less likely that you would show an erection if she decided to go ahead with it. That all said, this would be putting an erotic element into your relationship with your mother. It could backfire spectacularly and for this reason alone you should lean strongly towards keeping this side of you away from your family life. Could it work out? Sure. Is it likely to? Don't know about the particular case, but in general, very unlikely. Exercise much caution and remember this is a lifelong relationship with someone to whom you owe much.
  3. Facebook? Wherever it is, that's pretty intense.
  4. The spanker takes them down, partly because it's an opportunity to physically assert their authority, but more for the feeling of awkwardness it induces in the spankee that shows up with them looking humiliatingly helpless, not knowing what to do with their own hands.
  5. New favorite song. 'Chiri Hari' by Samba Toure. This guy is from Mali, if you're familiar with Ali Farka Toure, he used to play with him. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWyTaPK7VqY
  6. Too hard? No. Too high? Yes.
  7. Even with spanking becoming less common in the 80s, there must have still been a good number of references on TV. I watched relatively little and remember seeing a few, mostly while flipping through the channels: Growing Pains - boys arguing with the older one telling the younger that if their father finds out about something he'll get a spanking; Mr. Belvedere (?) - Grandfather type figure telling the kids that if he's put in charge there will be spankings; Moesha - father telling teen age daughter at the table about the possibility of using the belt.
  8. It's a site for socializing. As far as its purpose it's similar to a forum like this one, people getting together to discuss their common interest. Doubtless people have matched up with long term partners there, but it isn't set up like a dating website. You can't really sort and filter through profiles very effectively like you would want to if you were using it to find a prospective partner. I think it's mostly used successfully be people socializing some before going to various events. It's also a way for pros and semi-pros to connect with potential clients. While I just compared it to a forum, it isn't one. A lot of the content is on user's profile pages and sometimes deep into it. There is some good quality stuff there and in the groups sections but you're going to have to spend some time looking. There's mostly a whole lot of noise. I wasn't too impressed with the search function, although I'm not sure what could be done to improve it. It's just hard to narrow down the search results when the same terms are used over and over again. Since it has a much wider focus than here, you're going to run into some stuff that you don't like. Unless you don't visit other people's profile pages, that's pretty much a certainty. I visit occasionally but I'm not active there, and I mostly find it's not worth the time and the effort.
  9. Kind of ambient like track from Buckethead, 'Fractal Shadows',
  10. I like this image. The end is with their composure at a total loss, they are exposed, unable to control their emotional expression. That exposure, for us fetishists at least, is both intimate and erotic.
  11. Just speculating here, but I bet some of it comes down to viewing submissives as being the ones who are held accountable. That's true as far as it goes. But if you refuse to be held accountable out of a desire to be dominant and you don't have strict standards of your own that you strive to uphold, well, you're probably going to develop some unbecoming character traits and you'll have made it less likely to be in a place where you'll get feedback on those socially impaired behaviors. Would-be dominants who aren't big on holding themselves accountable both to others, e.g. in the workplace, and to themselves, aren't going to be very convincing other that they can offer much in the way of guidance. And I don't think they even necessarily have to be more successful, in some wide sense of the word, than their subordinate. I can imagine one that in some limited ways "behaved worse" than the EE, and being a good leader, but I can't imagine one that was allergic to accountability.
  12. Definitely. It makes me feel on the verge of exposure. There's this sense that I might reveal myself through how I say it, like my voice might unintentionally stress the word and make my fetish obvious to everyone. Much worse when I was a kid, I felt like I would have revealed both an obsession and my vulnerability to it. Why is "spank" so much more potent than "whip" or "paddle" or "belt" or whatever? Not sure, but the other terms seem a bit more limited to the physical act and the sensations, while "spank" somehow seems broader than that. It brings with it imagery of being emotionally overwhelmed, and thoughts about reduction of status, that by comparison, saying "I'll belt your behind" just doesn't convey. Taking a spanking isn't just getting a stingy and sore butt, it's being put in one's place by someone who has the authority to do so, the other words can be taken to mean that someone got their behind beat by someone who was either bigger or seized an opportunity. Maybe this is a bit of a reach, but if someone is spanked it's like the word suggests that it was right that it happened, that the EE was out of line and in need of a reality check. While with the other words, it could have been unjust that someone caught a beating. An EE can get an undeserved spanking too, but somehow the word kind of pushes that possibility a little too the side, makes it seem less likely.
  13. Playful and flirty is no big deal, mildly amusing at best either doing or watching. I'm not much of an exhibitionist so I could just as well do without it, but whatever. Too much of it or too much banter makes me think of kids ostentatiously french-kissing each other in Junior High. Much more interesting are a sound smack delivered low by someone in a casual and serious manner. Can't remember if I've seen that before or not. It would actually make me a bit uncomfortable to watch, and definitely to experience. But I could also accept it without resentment if it was done some place out of the house but not really in public, meaning few or no witnesses, and if there were any then I might not know about and almost certainly never see them again. Examples of places where it could be OK: hotel hallways, largely empty sections of department stores, etc. This is pushing things though, and someone who would do it in front of people I regularly see to embarrass me isn't someone I could continue to trust.
  14. The phrase "attitude adjustment" pretty much condenses everything that has fascinated me about spanking from the get go. The ability of someone to manage my moods was threatening to my sense of autonomy. Even more than I identify with my thoughts, I identify with my moods and my overall disposition. There was something alarming about that beyond just the threat of being struck or being forced to do something. While my own parents rarely spanked, just knowing that there were other parents out there who did spank a moody child, or simply said things out loud like "Looks like someone needs a spanking" when faced with a sulking child left me feeling unsettled. It tempted me to get invested in maintaining a certain defiant attitude. It was one thing to comply with instructions to do something, that still left me a certain internal independence of thought and mood, but to change my attitude just seemed too intrusive. It was an offense against my own sense of agency. An authority figure who had a nonchalant confidence about their ability to impose an attitude change was a walking insult to my belief in my autonomy. And at the same time I recognized I was vulnerable to it. Thankfully showdowns of this sort were very rare and never as dramatic as they could have been and as I feared. Because I was invested in maintaining this pretense of autonomy of attitude, losing a battle of wills on this issue where I would have wound up complying and getting with the program would have been deeply humiliating. It would be a double defeat, first defeat is losing the sulky attitude, second defeat is taking on the attitude they select: contrition. And then being loved and accepted after showing this humiliatingly real vulnerability that was so repugnant to me, was confusing. Because it was a part of me and one I didn't feel comfortable with at all, having it be accepted by someone who loved me made it that much more intense and also attractive. Untangling this stuff is always a challenge. Even if it isn't exactly like that for me now, this was all a big part of how this fixation originated. And looking at how this all got knotted up gives me an opportunity to answer the question. Summary: spanking means proof that autonomy is a pose and that others can from time to time know me and what I need better than I know myself. And there's a further side of it too that I can't quite make out as clearly as I would like. An authority figure's ability to set a narrative that wasn't necessarily true but was imposed as a matter of will was really upsetting to me. I felt like they shouldn't be able to just throw out a term "spoiled brat" and have me be seen instantly in those terms. Any argument against that just somehow proved their case. Another example is the stereotypical scene where the EE is over the knee, sobbing and they're asked "Still think you're too old for a good spanking?". Well, actually they probably in part still do but they've also been converted into seeing themselves as someone who got just what they deserved. Scolding in general has this character for me. It's an authority figure dictating their interpretation of events. It's somewhat inappropriate to put this quote here but it fits my thought so closely that I'll go ahead and take the liberty of pulling it out of its context, no offense intended: "Power largely consists in the ability to make others inhabit your story of their reality" - Philip Gourevitch from his book on the massacre in Rwanda So that's something else that spanking means to me: a verbal and physical approach that someone who loves me can use to impose submission.
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