The word normal is a bad word, its suggestive as well as subjective.
For instance, being a spanko and "not normal," implies that nobody else has Kinks or fetishes, and that's not possible. I can't tell you how many times I have seen what was viewed as "Normal Person," and then found out -significantly- contrary. It's like the posting of the Rabbit and the Fox and there comparison to telling others your kink or fetish.
When I was first ousted as a spanko in the 90's it had catastrophic consequences, however, the more it went on, the more I started making even more friends, and lifelong ones as well. Not short-term superficial relationships etc. Some of those people that were judgmental, caused problems, guess what, later down the road turns out they had kinks too, they were just reacting out of insecurity to not out themselves.
It can be difficult, you question "WTF is wrong with me etc." this list goes on like crazy. However, being a spanko is a sexual identity. It influences who you engage with, how you engage with them, what you find attractive, list goes on. Come on ER's, you going to tell me you don't check out how spankable a womans butt looks? I sure as shit do. I can't speak for EE's, what do you look for?
If being a spanko is a gene you have, the sooner you get comfortable with it (difficult, I know. Takes time.) the happier and better off you will be. People will judge, talk trash, alot of things, but even so called "Normal," people have others talking trash etc. about them as well.
So, cheer up. Who wants to be so called "Normal," anyways. Stand outside the fire you learn more, stand inside the fire you just get cooked.