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Everything posted by Chawsee

  1. Yes, this did happen to my husband and me-- thankfully, only once. We were in the living room of our 110-year-old farm house one afternoon. I remember that it was a Sunday. He was spanking me, when suddenly there was a hearty knock on the door. It was a female minister friend of ours. We jumped up and scrambled to the bedroom. He promptly returned to the living room to open the door, and I appeared a couple minutes later, trying to look as innocent as possible. Haha. We were SO embarrassed, and I remember that we couldn't stop giggling quietly in that awkward way of two people who just got caught doing something that they shouldn't be caught doing. Our friend MUST have known what we'd been up to. But bless her, she never uttered a word about it. She probably just racked it up to a session of wild sex between a young husband and his wife.
  2. I've never been a big fan of Cane-Iac due to the lower quality of their paddles and leather implements. I understand they carry good canes, though. Anyway, they have some articles on their website that SN members might appreciate. These include "Training Your Man: The Feminine Side of Spanking," The Joy of OTK" and "Self-Spanking." [Disclaimer: I am not promoting these articles. I'm merely sharing, in case they might help someone here.]
  3. Thank you, AbleHanded. I can imagine some of what you must be feeling around this subject concerning your niece and nephew. And, I believe those feelings would be normal for any family member. I had a gay male friend some years ago (he has since passed on). In 2020 I had a gay male life coach (awesome individual!), and I have a gay male coworker now. He is one of my favorite dispatchers. I spend my days on the road, so I check in at base in the morning for only a few minutes, but I adore this guy. So I really don't have an issue that way. It's just the non-binary thing, and the feeling that this movement has gone too far. I can't help but wonder how many people nowadays are actually straight, but claim bisexuality or non-binary status because somewhere they absorbed the message that this is "cool"? I don't have the answer to that, and this is admittedly a delicate subject. So while I genuinely enjoy my gay guy friends, I would personally never date a man who wasn't completely straight. But, that's just me.
  4. I've always viewed a spanker as one who administers spankings, and a dominant as one who controls/leads a relationship. From a clinical standpoint, a spanker is a dominant. For some spankers, this dominance may be played out only during spanking sessions. For other spankers, dominance is a full-time role. The terms "dominant" and "submissive" appear to be rooted in the larger BDSM umbrella, where many BDSM practices involve a dominant and a submissive partner.
  5. Excellent point. I relate to this, perhaps because I was raised in a family where the females were never struck by the males. My dad and brothers were protective of me. Discipline was meted out by our mother, and the boys got it from Dad, as well. So males protecting females is a value that I respect and have affection for. I believe it's also behind my general disinterest in M/f spankings. I do occasionally like to be on the receiving end, but it has to be with a man who is completely free of a sexist power-trip mentality. In other words, a sweetheart of a guy.
  6. What a thoughtful question. Thank you. Expressing one's appreciation verbally or in writing can mean a lot to a spanker. If someone is topping responsibility-- and that means expressing caring and kindness and putting the spankee's needs before their own-- the spankee's acknowledgement of this can keep a spanker motivated because he/she sees that what they're doing is helping someone and is appreciated. If the spanking partnership is a deeper one, ie. a romantic coupling, I suggest the easy-reading little book The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. This is an excellent book, one that will deepen your understanding of how people express and receive love. Once you understand what your partner's love language is, you can show your appreciation in a way that will be most meaningful to them.
  7. Welcome, Vanilla. We're happy to have you join us. This is actually a good question. I'll try to answer it this way. Some spankos can enjoy vanilla sex. Others of us, however, lack that ability. If spanking is not part of the mix, there is no arousal for us. Yet, while we require spanking "with our sex," we may spank (or be spanked by) partners with whom we have no sexual relations. So with them, it's a non-sexual, spanking-only partnership. Does that make sense?
  8. I can relate to this. Though I am straight and spank only men, in some of my favorite fantasies, I've envisioned being a boy on the receiving end. Fascinating topic!
  9. I believe it. I like M/M scenes. In fact, I would rather watch a M/M scene than a M/F scene.
  10. Great idea! How about "Friends of Ben S."?
  11. Thanks for sharing this, @countspankulot. I wasn't aware of it. And even though my schedule doesn't allow time for spanking fiction anymore, the spanking blogs and articles on real-life experiences are great. I appreciate quality content, which seems hard to find these days.
  12. Thanks for sharing this, @pavium. You are not the only spankee who is dealing with this issue. I spoke with someone just recently who shared a very similar struggle, so this topic will likely help others, as well. I am the third respondent who suggests the "green, yellow, red" approach. There is no shame in asking your partner to keep going, but to lighten up a little. If you're uncomfortable interjecting this way, you can try it for a few spankings when needed, then drop the practice once your partner learns to calibrate a little more to your tolerance. As a spanker, I assure you that your feedback actually helps her, too. So many of us relate to, and naturally equate, adult spanking to the childhood spankings we got. We remember how spankings back then felt completely out of our control, and we desire to reach that same no-control headspace as adults. But whether or not one was spanked growing up, the dynamic is different. As kids, even if it was painful, it was over relatively quickly. Not many kids are given 200 or 300 swats (or more), as we often do in adult spanking. So we can allow ourselves a little grace. It will be painful, but need not be overwhelming to be effective. And this is just my two cents, but there is really no need to push oneself. A spankee will increase his tolerance in his own good time. So be patient with yourself. Once a spankee develops a "hard bottom," he then requires intense spankings. And at this point, many reminisce about the days when their bottom was a little more sensitive.
  13. Wishing everyone a peaceful Thanksgiving. A few members on SN are among my dearest friends. I'm thankful for you. I'm thankful, also, to a couple of new friends here. Each of you has, in at least some small way, helped grow me as a person. Thank you. May you be blessed on this beautiful day of gratitude. 


    1. Show previous comments  8 more
    2. Chawsee


      @ReformedEE- No documentary, just a quick news blip-- though George is every bit worthy of a documentary. He's a man with extraordinary wisdom who has led a fascinating life.

      I'm living in a partially-renovated house that won't have internet installed until probably January. Yesterday I was busy, but this afternoon I made it to Starbucks to enjoy the coffee shop vibe... and their WiFi. :)

    3. nicoleS39


      @Chawsee.....I enjoyed wearing the western style. I had a mid calf length skirt and a western style blouse on...and cowboy...or I guess...cowgirl boots. They did some dances my husband and I were not familiar with at the wedding....but we muddled through them...lol...sort of....and had a good time. The wedding was beautiful, and the reception was nice, but as it went on there was lots of alcohol flowing at the reception. I myself am certainly no stranger to hardy partying...but never saw a wedding reception get quite as wild as this one...lol. I have been in "parties" as wild as this and more, but never a "wedding reception" quite as wild as this one got. Some of the women were very very drunk....to the point they were rolling on the floor with their skirts above their waists, their under garments well displayed...lol... and a bottle of booz in their hands splashing everywhere. Lol...twerking....I think it is called... bending over and shaking their butts into the crotches of equally drunk men...and one lady kept grabbing men's butts and crotches....really. Hey, I am not judging and there was a day I did such things and even more wild. I do not begrudge them their fun and letting their hair hang down...but I seriously doubt they were even "aware" they were having fun after a awhile...lol...All I can say is...that Texas reception was the wildest I have ever experienced. But....This I do know...from my personal past experience...some of those folks woke up the next day either totally unaware of what happened...or...lol....thinking...oh my, what did I do! At least that group of Texans showed me...they really know how to party hardy!


    4. Chawsee


      @nicoleS39- Thanks for sharing a little more about this western wedding reception. I'm sure your outfit was adorable. :) I used to be a concierge at a resort that hosted a lot of weddings-- one, and sometimes, two, every weekend during the spring and summer months. It was a very popular, and pricey, venue. So I have seen many weddings similar to what you described here, with guests so inebriated that they ruined a beautiful celebration with disrespectful behavior, sometimes even destroying property. I wonder how many brides & grooms later regret having served alcohol?

  14. @nicoleS39, it sounds like you handled this incident with the force required to safely neutralize your attacker. I have zero compassion for his drug addiction, so I do not carry in my heart the understanding of this that you do. Bless you. I hope he finds his way someday. Right now, he's only a menace to society. I'm just grateful that in his desperate act of potential violence against you to steal your money, that you weren't seriously hurt, or worse. I trained in Korean Hap Do Sool when I was younger. It was a combination of karate, boxing, wrestling, judo, aikido, and yoga. I grew up in a small rural ranch community where opportunities for such training were uncommon, so I was blessed to come upon such a good sinsei. He was a 6th degree black belt, which, back at that time, was rare. I will never forget the kindness of this small, humble man who spoke softly in broken English, but who was a powerful athlete and teacher. I would love to hear more about your Korean martial arts training. It sounds like you have a strong foundation with the right, honorable principles. I'm proud of you, girl.
  15. I, too, like all the things (which I quoted from you, above) from your first paragraph. I find your dislike of the smell of coffee particularly interesting, and how it makes you sick to the point that you cannot go into a restaurant at breakfast time. I'd never considered this possibility, so I'm glad you shared that. The affect that flowers have on you is also of interest. I, too, dislike tobacco odors in all forms. And, it's nice to see that I'm not the only one with an aversion to perfumes.
  16. Thank you. I have no idea. Maybe it depends on the person? We've all known both men and women who have particularly keen noses. It is said, however, that women are up to 7x more sensitive to musk odors than are men. There may be some truth to this. I am ultra-sensitive to muskiness and find it off-putting, whereas I've been around guys who seemed completely oblivious to such smells.
  17. I worry about you, my friend. Please email me when you feel like this, okay?
  18. Where: Northwest Montana Looking for: Male spankee (though not right now; when I finish school and move into the next chapter of my life) 4 Things about Me: Female top, country gal, have a strong interest in psychology, decided to finally become a trucker at age 50
  19. My favorite scents include vanilla (my fav!), supper on the stovetop and bread in the oven, a pine forest in the mountains, and horse stables. Laughing, but true, on that last one. To me, hay and horse manure are comforting scents that remind me of home. Reformed EE, you mentioned your grandmother's holiday baking. I grew up doing a great deal of Christmas baking with my mother. But she's gone now, and these days my time for that is limited. So I make Christmas potpourri. I take a medium stockpot and fill it part-way with water, add some small, fresh clippings of pine branches, then add cranberries, sliced oranges, cinnamon, nutmeg, and cloves. I simmer this gently, which fills the house with the aroma of an authentic old-fashioned Christmas. It's lovely. My least favorite scent is cigarette smoke. I detest it. Interestingly, I dislike the artificial "chemical" scents of perfumes and colognes, as well. There's nothing pleasant or natural about them. To me, they just reek.
  20. I used to have one, made by LittleRedSpanking, but along the way I gifted it to someone. If you come up to Montana for a session when I'm back up and running, you'll have to bring yours, okay?
  21. Chuckling... There's no such thing as an ex-marine. The proper term for a marine no longer on active duty, who has returned to civilian life, is former marine. Marine Corps University has service information on "Former Marines" right on their website, so it remains a correct term. But I think I know what you meant.
  22. Haha. No, I never miss out when I'm at a coffee shop! Are you kidding? Coffee shops are a little slice of heaven on earth. The lovely soft lighting, the pretty artwork on the walls (usually nature-inspired here in the mountains), the delicious smells, the cozy ambiance, the friendly and cheerful folks behind the counter, the hot chocolate and fresh baked goods....
  23. Hi dre4mgirl. I tried Mexican hot chocolate once. It wasn't my thing. I love pure, intense (quality) chocolate, unadulterated by cinnamon. I won't even add marshmallows, nor peppermint at Christmastime, because to me, those additions ruin perfection. Just straight, rich chocolate... haha. 😋 But that's just me. 😉
  24. Like @OhRedhead, I do not drink coffee at all. I enjoy cozy coffee shops and I love the aroma of coffee, but I have no interest in taking up the habit. However, each winter, around the holiday season, I indulge in daily mugs of hot chocolate. Starbucks Double Chocolate is my favorite. I stock up on boxes of it this time of year.
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