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Chawsee

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Everything posted by Chawsee

  1. UPDATE:  If anyone here needs to reach me, I am on FetLife, under the same username, Chawsee. While I am also a member of Jillian Keenan's Patreon group "Kinking Out Loud," and I really enjoy her videos (when I have the time to watch them), I don't find that site to be the interactive community that I thought it was. Or perhaps I just don't know what the heck I'm doing? 🤔😁

  2. Hey Friends,

    Please do not send PMs to me anymore here on SN. A few days ago I added a note about this to the "About Me" section of my profile, but people aren't seeing it and PMs continue to trickle in.

    I am working to get my own spanking blog launched, where I will continue to ponder old-fashioned maternal-style spanking, and where those who like my writing and philosophy may remain engaged, if they would like to.

    Until the blog materializes, I can be reached on FetLife under the same username, Chawsee. This will probably be temporary, though. I had trepidation about joining Fet, and when I finally did, I almost deleted my account that first night. :lol: FetLife has its merits, but every time I visit I see things that I would rather not be exposed to. I plan to keep my account open there, however, until my blog is up and running, so that members can still reach me. 

    I have also joined Jillian Keenan's Patreon group "Kinking Out Loud," though she is away on a trip, as I understand it, and I have not yet received my log-in info there. But I've been told that it's a terrific group of people. So in the near future, I will be reachable there, as well, again under the same username, Chawsee.

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. KentuckyGuy

      KentuckyGuy

      I look forward to following your blog!

    3. countspankulot

      countspankulot

      Looking forward to reading and following your blog as well. I have always enjoyed your posts on here.

    4. Chawsee

      Chawsee

      @BrittyH, @MichiganHeadmaster, @KentuckyGuy, and @countspankulot: Thank you, friends. I will eventually return with info on how to find my blog, once it's up and running. Honestly, it may be a while, as I've got a lot of irons in the fire right now. But it's important to me to keep studying.... and writing. :) 

  3. Make sure you're getting adequate vitamin C, particularly from natural food sources, as the ascorbic acid in many supplements isn't ideal. Vitamin C helps synthesize collagen, which makes up both skin tissue and blood vessels. It helps to strengthen blood vessel walls. Also, as you get spanked more, you won't bruise as much.
  4. You come up with such good topics, @BrittyH. When I was married, it was sometimes once a week, sometimes twice a week. I don't remember it ever being more often than that, and I recall wishing that it happened more frequently. Probably every second or third day would be about perfect for me. But having had a vanilla partner who played along, I have to count my blessings. Because we mostly hand-spanked, we never inflicted the physical damage to each other that implements cause, so we never had to worry about developing leather-butt, something Zhal mentioned, and that I, too, would want to avoid.
  5. Questioning a story that sounds, well, questionable, and stating facts about the conduct required of professional massage therapists does NOT constitute a personal attack. You knew that it was a rather tasteless tale of crude language and TMI details that people may, or may not, believe. So if you make the choice to post things like that, you need to grow a tougher skin when people call you out on it. Longtime members see right through the BS. We're a friendly group and we warmly welcome newcomers, but you're getting off on the wrong foot. You can do better than this. The erotic forum is where members post questions and discuss issues surrounding their practice of erotic spanking. Is is where they compare notes, learn and grow together. It is not the fiction area. And personal attacks against Naughtyboy50 don't paint you in a good light, either. He is a respectable member here, so there is no validly to you questioning his moral character.
  6. Hmmm, isn't that the same stupid thing you said the first time? 🤔
  7. What a great topic. And feel free to vent away. Many of us can relate. Yes, the fakes are apparently clueless as to how easily we see right through them. No one reads their fantasies and admires them. Instead, we look down on them for their ignorance and for degrading the quality of the site's content. No depth of connection ever grows in the recesses of phoniness, so I mirror your feelings on honesty. Nothing is more meaningful and trust-building than being genuine and vulnerable with someone, and building that safe space together where you can strengthen each other. As for boundaries, here's a little advice that you never asked for . If this resonates, good. If not, disregard it. But this may help someone here. Don't ask for respect from others. Require it. (That's the dominant in me.) It makes no difference if you're an EE. In fact, it's even more important if you're an EE. And you are an EE to your husband only, not to anyone here. Now this may not be an issue for you at all, but some EEs, in general, feel they must show submission to all ERs, and that is not the case. Unless a particular ER is YOUR dominant, ERs and EEs are on an equal playing field. On some DD sites, the dynamic is different, and all submissives are required to respect all dominants in that group. But SN does not operate on this dynamic. So, if you tell someone that you don't role-play, and they proceed to role play with you, withdraw your attention and either redirect the conversation or end it. Or, block them. But in any conversation where you feel uncomfortable, make the decision that YOU are in charge. The next point: It's all in the wording. Polite gals ask. Dominant gals tell. (Borrow that secret ) So say there's some guy in chat who begins role-playing with you after you made it clear to him that you do NOT role-play. Or maybe he pushes you for information that is none of his business. A gal, trying to be polite, might say something like, "I'm not comfortable answering that. Please respect my wishes." A dominant will say, "We will NOT be discussing that." These are just generic examples, but you get the gist. If you're not completely comfortable with the person, YOU stay in charge of the interaction. And don't ask. Tell.
  8. I can see why you turned off the PM feature. It's unfortunate that you had to take that measure, and possibly miss out on meaningful conversations, just so that your boundaries would be respected. The "About Me" section of my own profile has gotten longer and longer, my reasoning being that the more I share there, the fewer times I'll have to keep repeating the same information in PMs. But I'm still asked questions that are clearly stated in my profile. Some people are good about paying attention to that stuff, while others don't even seem to read it. Similarly, I joined FetLife eight days ago and have already reworked my profile several times, not only adding more information to clarify where I stand, but getting firmer than I want to to weed out the miscreants.
  9. Good point. Offering a spot where members could post their relationship status would be a helpful addition. @Child of Light, @Mystery Man... thoughts? In the meantime, I'd take Zhal's advice and be very up front about your "taken" status.
  10. Yes, it's showing up like that on my profile, too. In fact, the "Clubs" and "About Me" tabs are completely gone. @Child of Light, @Mystery Man?
  11. SN is a nice group and we like to keep it that way. There is a forum specifically for fiction where spankos can pour out their imaginary fantasies and others can enjoy these stories. We also encourage each other to be safe, and two key rules of safety are mutual consent and playing within the boundaries of the law. If a story is told as a truthful occurrence when it's actually just made up, this is annoying and breaks people's trust. Honesty is important in a group where we're opening up about a part of our lives that we have to keep hidden from most of the world. Likewise, if there's a chance that a shady story IS true, I'm going to say something, because I don't want to see a spankee, especially a female, thinking that something like this is appropriate. Masseurs and masseuses of past generations were viewed as part of the sex industry due to the impropriety of some of them. Today's massage therapists are working hard to erase this unfortunate stigma. Respectable massage therapists are licensed professionals who take their career, their skills, and their clients' health, seriously.
  12. Sounds like a fantasy. But if this is actually a true story, what your massage therapist did is illegal. She could, and should, lose her license for such inappropriate misconduct with a client. One of my closest female friends is a professional massage therapist, and the guidelines they are bound to are very exacting. Grabbing a client's genitals is a severe violation, as is paddling someone. Strictly forbidden.
  13. "Circus clowns".... Had to comment on this because I thought I was the only one. Have always thought that circus clowns are the creepiest damned thing.
  14. I can relate to some things you shared here. Loved that belt-spanking scene from Radio Days! Don't know how many times I watched that, but it was a lot. While I never played spanking games growing up, I was looking up "spank" and the synonyms for it in every dictionary I could find. And any mention of the word captured my full attention. I, too, was embarrassed and ashamed, so I didn't tell a soul. Years later (just realized it was after college, so mid-20s), I looked up "adult spanking" on the internet one night and stumbled upon what I believe, if memory serves me correctly, might have been Laura's Spanking Corner. I could be wrong, but reading what you wrote triggered a memory, and I'm pretty sure that was the name of the site. I was blown away to learn that there were actually others like me. Still, I came out of the closet only after I was married. And when I left my husband later, I returned to that closet, enjoying this fetish only in secret. It wasn't until February 2020 that I decided I had to connect with other spankos.
  15. Haha, too funny. I would be tempted to do it if the photo was a lighthearted one, ie. the EE was over the ER's lap, being spanked, but maybe grinning or laughing. Then, when others saw the photo, it would be like, "Oh, someone was having fun!" as opposed to "What kind of sick stuff were they doing here?"
  16. I think I more or less get what you're saying, @Jacevires. It's good that at 27 you feel you're starting to come into your own. You will continue to do this as the years progress. Mental and emotional growth happens in little spurts throughout our entire lives, it seems, so stay tuned for lots more "ah ha!" moments. Society does promote the hook-up culture nowadays, and many people jump aboard and embrace this approach. There are more followers in the world than independent thinkers, so people tend to follow trends, in large part, because it's what everyone else is doing. Woman often opt for casual relationships because they believe that their value lies in their body, and that sex is the way to a man's heart. (Actually, it isn't.) I won't launch into a discussion about the increased risk of STDs and possible unwanted pregnancies, because that's the elephant in the room that we already know about. But type into your search engine "Benefits of committed relationships over casual dating" for a lengthy list of articles written by psychologists and relationship coaches to better understand how this approach is, in essence, selling oneself short. The more we invest in a relationship, the deeper the bond, and the deeper the bond, the more fulfilling it is in the long run. Take the analogy of friendship. Meeting a new friend can be a lot of fun. But the bond you have with an old friend that you completely trust, whom you can share your innermost feelings with, and who has been with you through thick and thin, is a whole lot more meaningful. The same can be said for spanking partners. While I personally have never dated casually, I have accepted a few spankees that were decent guys but not individuals I would date. Is this as fulfilling to me as what a spanko husband and wife can experience together? Not even close. Yet for some, a casual spanking partnership like this, or even a causal dating partnership, is all they're seeking. So to each his own.
  17. Ah. Yeah, that would't be good.
  18. A few members upthread mentioned that FetLife required their phone number to join. Being careful to keep myself off lists where my personal info could be sold, I had decided ahead of time that it Fet required my phone number to register, I wouldn't join. But they never asked for it. ...In case this is helpful to someone else.
  19. Just joined FetLife (same username). Dear Lord, that's an experience! Hope to see some folks I know here over there... 

    :anyone:

    1. Show previous comments  9 more
    2. rude_rumps

      rude_rumps

      I got on fetlife a little while ago too...I couldn't really find spankos...it's soooo hard to find stuff on there...but somehow I found an erotic art group that's interesting...not just spanking art but there's some quaint vintage erotic art on there I like too...but I wouldn't say I've made any friends or even acquaintances on there...it's more just looking around and seeing stuff...

    3. Chawsee

      Chawsee

      Thanks a bunch, @DaChief. I was looking at the list of spanking groups on there last night and was overwhelmed, so I appreciate you pointing me to a good one. 

    4. Chawsee

      Chawsee

      That's great about the art group you found, @rude_rumps. That's kinda the way I was feeling when I stumbled upon the Cowboy & Cowgirl group. I'm like, Whoa, there may be more to Fet than kink! :) 

  20. I was the disciplinarian for an EE that I was not coupled with, but whom I mentored. My thoughts before a spanking were on what he'd done that merited punishment, along with a great deal of soul-searching as to what was most appropriate and fair for the infraction(s) committed. Included were decisions about the lecture I would be giving him, the implement(s) I would choose, severity, and whether or not there would be corner-time. I am human, not infallible, so I pray for guidance beforehand and do my best to follow that "still, small voice." I think that a DD relationship with a spouse would be much simpler. The rules would be laid down and consequences for infractions discussed in advance. The HoH would be there to oversee things and to handle issues promptly, as they came up. We all know that TiHs do best with consistency, and rarely do they feel unfulfilled because they're getting too much discipline. What they typically bemoan is not getting enough discipline. So no matter how you look at it, a long-distance disciplinarian, who sees her spankee only periodically, and who has to absorb all that is happening in his life through phone calls and texts, can do only so much. What are your thoughts, Spankingmyhuby? Would you say that an HoH has a notable advantage? Do you use multiple implements, or choose one for each session? And do you prefer a consistent routine for how your punishments are administered, or do you vary the setting, order of doing things, etc?
  21. Where is this gal?? She is an amazing writer! LOVED this story!!-- and the way she shared it. SN lost a good one when she left.
  22. I agree that this dynamic is more the exception than the rule. It's unfortunate that the couple you know divorced. I don't think it would be sustainable for most couples, and they would need to face the possibility of inappropriate attractions when playing with all these other partners. Thankfully, the couple I met up with has been together probably as long as I've been alive, and their marriage, from all appearances, is a jealousy-free zone. They're both so experienced and confident that they appear to be beyond such worries. They're also bolder than any other spankos I know, talking freely about spanking while we had lunch in a restaurant, and completely unworried about anyone outside their motorhome hearing the crack of our paddles or the corresponding yelps going on inside. I was the one who was nervous about being outed in my local town. Chuckling, but true. That never happened, though, and meeting up with them, both times, was an honor. Your last paragraph got a laugh out of me.
  23. Good question, Count. Maybe just say something like, "I feel like I already know you. Are you, by chance, so-and-so, from ___________?" If he/she replies in the affirmative, be enthusiastic and supportive (the kind of person you already are). "Woohoo! We're members of the same tribe!"
  24. I couldn't care less what kind of undies a guy is wearing, as long as they're men's, and clean. This is, of course, assuming bare-bottom OTK. I'm not a fan of g-strings, but would accept a guy in them if it helped him feel more comfortable.
  25. You have a need to "rid the guilt you have for your behavior"? I don't buy it. And I imagine that your partner also sees right through this ploy. I suggest reading carefully what @BrittyH posted, because the honesty she shared upthread is a gift that you'd be wise to take to heart. Bratting can be fun, within reason. But who wants to live with someone who acts like a tyrant? How embarrassing for your partner, that you were behaving like this around his entire family. Don't you think it's selfish to put a damper on everyone else's weekend getaway just because you want attention? Imagine what they thought! You're lucky he didn't boot you to the curb. A disciplinarian's role can be very fulfilling when his/her submissive is sincere and trying to do the right thing. But too much bratting gets old in a hurry. Sometimes it's best to have a private talk with one's dominant and explain that you need the "reset" and centering affect that a spanking can provide. I know this is never easy, but believe me when I tell you that most of us do understand this need and would prefer the honesty. Honesty is vulnerable and endearing. Excessive brattiness builds resentment. Try a more sincere approach and see if it doesn't produce better results than behaving so badly that you're viewed as an obnoxious nuisance. It's far better to keep your dignity, and others' respect for you, intact.
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