Chawsee

This is a good topic, and Amethyst_Moon was well-spoken in what she said here. I replied to this thread in 2020 and am weighing in again, nearly three years later. In the time that has passed, I joined a few other forums, but promptly lost interest in them. So SN remains my only form of social media. This is where I've met a handful of folks who have become some of my dearest friends. And because I talk with these people outside of SN, I find myself on this site less often because my need for connection is being met through these deeper friendships. I remain grateful to SN for being the platform on which we crossed paths. And, I still need SN, just not as much. 😉

There are far worse traits that a person could exhibit. At least she was kind. And bless her for trying! Yet this did provide a good-natured laugh. Thanks for sharing your story. Probably most everyone who's met fellow spankos for TTWD has experienced at least an awkward moment, so this is a fun topic. I'm not very gifted in the art of role-play, so I always anticipate that someday I'll be trying to scold a spankee during a made-up scene, only to trip over myself and ruin the seriousness of the moment because my words don't come out smoothly, or because I start laughing and can't stop.

While I don't have experience with this particular dynamic, I am well-seasoned when it comes to long-distance relationships. My suggestion is to keep yourself busy. Don't allow thoughts about this coupling to consume your waking hours, or the time will drag by (been there, done that). No matter how exciting a new relationship is (and I know, they can seem absolutely amazing!), life doesn't come to a standstill and revolve around that person. We always have adult responsibilities to tend to, and keeping busy makes a wait like this seem to pass so much faster. That said, I feel an obligation to voice my concern about you agreeing to a TiH position via long-distance agreement. Have you decided on this before meeting him? It's good to converse as you're doing now, through texts, calls, and video-chats. But I think it's crucial to meet first, in a safe public place, and get to know him in person before making any long-term plans with him. He should earn the position of HoH (and his status of "owning" you) by proving himself worthy of it. Take time to read the safety section of the forum so that you're armed with good "street smarts." And never accept such a big step blindly because someone agrees to it from afar.

I don't use the cane, but I have used a belt and two types of leather straps. I switch sides mid-way through.

Three people have spanked me. Growing up, it was just my mother, and then only occasionally. (I was a quiet and respectful kid who was usually well-behaved.) My former husband became my first adult spanking partner. Then, 2-1/2 years ago, my friend John introduced me to a spanko couple who came here to NW Montana. The husband switched with me.

I haven't read this precise instruction in the Bible (where it states that a husband should "spank" or otherwise strike his wife). But there are undoubtedly married couples who interpret the scriptural instruction of wifely submission to mean this. Christian Domestic Discipline can also be a means by which some spankos practice their fetish and feel pious doing so.

I would waste no time contemplating how to punish someone who pulled such a deplorable stunt. The moment they proved themselves untrustworthy, they would be gone from my life.

I prefer assigning essays. I want my spankee to give intelligent thought to the issue he's working on and write about it with insight. Not only does this get him actively participating in his own growth and improvement, but it shows me how much he's mentally progressing in the right direction. And, I have no qualms about returning an essay that just doesn't make the cut and requiring a re-write.

Hi Tazewell. My former spouse was a vanilla guy who became a decent switch partner, so we took turns spanking each other. Because we were married, and because spanking was titillating for us, it always led to sex (and to our best sessions in the bedroom, IMHO). But when spanking outside men, it never leads to lovemaking. My boundaries on this are firm. Different strokes for different folks, though. You'll get a lot of different answers to this question.

You've posted about similar issues in the past. If you and your ER have made an agreement that he is your disciplinarian, he shouldn't have to spell out in your rules, ahead of time, every possible infraction that you might think up. Obviously he can't predict what you'll do next. So just be grateful for someone in your life who is trying to guide you toward becoming a more respectable version of yourself. In the Domestic Discipline world, the FIVE Ds are a common practice. Anything the spankee does that demonstrates Disobedience, Disrespect, Dishonesty, Defiance, or Danger earns a spanking.

Thanks, Ben. It is always appreciated when a member has the courage to speak truthfully about issues that degrade the quality of our forum.

I have always believed that spanking is inherently sexual. And as a woman who is strict about sessions remaining platonic and free of any sexual overtones, I still hold to this. There are folks who insist that spanking, for them, is not sexual at all. Bless them! For the rest of us, the sexual aspect is there, even if it's a quiet undercurrent. This intensely intimate exchange takes place on the largest erogenous zone of the human body. To test the "sexual" theory, begin administering your spankings on a non-erogenous part of the body, like the palms of the hands, back of the calves, or bottom of the feet. Then see if there's the same desire for this kind of (truly non-sexual) impact play. During an intense session, most spankees aren't feeling anything sexual at all. But if they're honest with themselves, they do feel all "tingly" when anticipating an upcoming spanking, and when reflecting on one afterwards.

I've owned two rubber (actually silicone) paddles: the Tantus Pelt and the Tantus Thwack. The Pelt had an oval head and was thicker. The Thwack had a rectangular head and thinner side profile, making it floppy. I preferred the firmness and control of the Pelt, but someone else might like the Thwack better. One thing for sure is that both stung like a fargen bastage. Go easy with rubber and silicone implements. They "grip" for a split second upon impact, which has the potential to damage tender skin that has not yet been seasoned to impact play. They are not recommended for beginner EEs, and they need to be wielded by a careful and conscientious top.

Generally no more than 6-8 minutes. The before-hand discussion and the after-care add considerable time to the session, of course. But the actual spanking is carried out in under 10 minutes.