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dutchbrat last won the day on May 19 2020

dutchbrat had the most liked content!

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About dutchbrat

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    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 12/11/1969

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    Netherlands, Europe
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  1. Yes, my thoughts and prayers are with you all out there... Strange enough the same day this happened in the US it happened in the Netherlands too (a lethal shooting by a cop)... Sending Light & Love to the situation. And to all involved...
  2. Getting aroused is a natural response for many spankees, so he's not purposely doing this or so. And it doesn't mean the spanking(s) you give him are not experienced as punishment as well. The best thing to do here is to ignore his physical signs of sexual arousal, stay calm and administer the punishment, not even mentioning what you observe. No need to, because you both know it's happening. It won't lead to sexual activity (I assume it won't...), so no, no devices needed here. The signs you gotta pay attention to are the signs that his punishment is giving the results needed to make him feel
  3. I wish you good luck finding someone! You're not new here but I think I haven't "met" you yet, so a hi from the Netherlands to you.
  4. Hi there SJE We all search for our purposes in life, there isn't only one, you've got many. Some are big ones, others not so big. It could be from being an angel to a dog (or horse!) to helping the dying... We all come to this Earth plane with our unique qualities and talents, also the things we Love doing, our interests in certain things, etc. makes us unique and are great indicators of the purposes we have. Let you inner wisdom guide you. I know you want the answer right now, but believe me, that won't happen overnight. Work with intentions, an intention is like: "I want to know my purp
  5. Hi there boy, There is really no general point of view possible here. Everything depends on the type of relationship you have and the agreements you made together as well. This is not about a TPE situation like some couples do have in the bdsm life style, and even then... What's most important if such a situation occurs is communication! The Dominant should not immediately start saying he/she is disappointed or so, but ask the submissive/spankee why they think there is no good reason for punishment. There can be several. One rule is a holy rule and that is that you never ever, no mat
  6. dutchbrat


    Welcome to SN, I hope you will love it here, I'm sure you will, this is a great community. Looking forward to getting to know you! Anja
  7. Over the years the way I experience my spanking/discipline needs have definitely evolved. It started with the fantasies as a young girl, they were innocent ones though at that age very exciting. In time I got my adult experiences and this over the years grew into the awareness of the fact that I want more than "just a spanking", I discovered I want to be in a DD relationship. So from seeing it as a "game" as a young adult, it has over the years grown into a life style, a way of living, an important part of me, it was and still is a beautiful journey of discovery and deepening... I think this p
  8. You point out some great things. To me some kind of friendship is first and foremost the basic for diving deeper into the extra addition of spanking/discipline. Without trust and friendship it won't work, not for me at least. We're not robots And yes, just like any other relationship/friendship etc. it means work. In the beginning everything is usually great and you wonder if it can get any better. In time though you also meet the challenges and that's what makes it interesting. Because if you don't run away from them, you both grow on a personal level from it. And this means that the discipl
  9. I'm not one of them, but they are around. It's not like when you post a message they'll jump on you. The best way to find someone is to participate on the forum and maybe you like to check out the chatroom. So that people get to know you. And maybe (no guarantees!) someone special shows up and you get to know each other. To me finding that someone special would be a great extra. The main reason I'm here is to connect with like minded people and meet new friends that understand our mutual needs. Good luck though
  10. Hi Heffa ;) That's awesome you're learning Dutch. Let me know if I can help! Dutch is a very complicated language, so I recognize you for doing an attempt to learn it, very brave and courageous of you! Good luck and enjoy your bottom ;)
  11. Welcome to the forum! It's a wonderful community and you'll meet many new friends, depending on how active you are here and if you like in the chat as well. I hope you'll find all you're looking for and I wish you a great time here! Anja
  12. welcome to the forum lilbrat. I hope you will find what you're looking for and I'm sure you will love this place. It's a great community of like minded people that are very nice and supportive (the majority is!). Looking forward to getting to know you! Anja
  13. Hi TryingHusband, There are several types of spankers and spankees, for instance I'm into non-erotic spanking, which we call the disciplinary spanking. For me it has nothing to do with arousal of any kind. So yes, it is possible and for spankees like me that think the same that is a common thing. From what you've shared so far I'm pretty sure your wife is not into erotic spanking. Give her your trust, even when it's hard for you. You might join her when she goes to see the spanker(s), would that be a good idea, just as an observant or at least in the same house where she receives her span
  14. Hi LikeSpank, Thank you for sharing! Maybe you could really carefully check in general how she thinks about a playful slap on the bottom? Or say you know someone that likes spanking and ask her what she thinks about it? If she is very resistant to it, in a big shock, etc. you know it will be hard to share with her that you have those needs. But you might be surprised... There are also movies etc. where there is some light spanking fun, like in fifty shades of grey movies and books too. Maybe she'd like to watch one of those with you? And then at the end of the movies give her 1 playful sl
  15. Hi TryingHusband, First of all I want to acknowledge you for the fact that you were and still are open to the spanking needs of your wife. This doesn't happen very often in relationships that started "vanilla" (the term for couples that have no kinky things in their relationship). I don't know how you "completely blew it", but I am very certain, reading your story, that this was definitely not intentional to do that. Please don't blame yourself too much. Especially beginners make a lot of mistakes, both the spanker and spankee do, this is normal. We don't live in the ideal world, where we
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