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Everything posted by JonTx

  1. Thank you! I worked a long time on this along time ago.
  2. I certainly didn’t mean to criticize you, StrictGent. You just articulated my number one reason for being here: I want to help people who have doubts about their sexuality in spanking that need to feel OK and support them in both exploring and finding someone appropriate. (And not me, I’m not in the market, So my motives or altruistic) But, before they find a partner, they probably need to be reassured that there’s nothing wrong with them. It took me years and thousands of dollars of therapy to reach that point. I hope I might help some others just a little. You also pointed out something that keeps me up at night and worries me. I’ve tried to make a contribution here and it can be easily ruined by just one of these people who jumps in and causes the kind of trouble we’re seeing on this thread. i’m feeling very discouraged about the site overall. I joined because I couldn’t believe I found a site that was respectfully talking about spanking without a bunch of explicit things posted in bad taste and abusive and argumentative nonsense. I did my best to make a contribution to try and help younger people and maybe even older people who were unsure of themselves. I am fortunate in that I have a great partner but just wanted to help others. I’m not wanting to meet anyone, and wouldn’t even do it if the world’s most attractive young woman wanted to be spanked. It’s not what I do. I don’t know what’s happened, but in the last month or so (maybe two) there’s been an influx of new people that do not seem to respect what I understand the core mission of this site to be. I know the people that wanted discipline spankings were at the core of this group. They also had a big enough tent to include those of us who saw spanking as meeting a different deep need, maybe related to psychological integration, in my case. The challenge from my perspective is that there are a number of new people who appear to be here for sex. The worst of them make posts right on the main forum using very graphic words to ask for sexual spankings. Unless I completely misunderstood, this site is supposed to be an alternative to sex. There are plenty of places that do that. Of course, I’m a member of Fet. But we could come here and get away from all of that and have respectful conversations. Others criticize people’s preferences like we are seeing here. Many of these new people don’t have a complete profile even and say that they’re from someplace like Mars. If they don’t have the respect to even tell us where they are, what are approximate age ranges, and tell us something about themselves, I don’t think we should allow them to post. I’ve contacted moderators about this and they don’t deny the problem, but I don’t think they actually understand the gravity either. So far, they won’t appoint any of us to help Or take a more active role in leading the conversations to remain respectful I suppose I’ve given up because it’s certainly not my site, and after volunteering (along with a couple of others) and being told that our services are not wanted, I don’t know what else to do. Is my understanding that the people that actually started this site are long gone and when I checked once, very few of the current owners or moderators login much. i’m still willing to make some kind of effort to help and would love to hear suggestions from other experienced members who may be been through this in the past. Thanks again for your post!
  3. BINGO! This about sums it up with regards of women spanking men or f/m, doesn't work because spanking is about control, women grow up seeing men as authority figures and for them to get spanked just doesn't compute. Plus the other prior comments, in that its weird, abnormal, etc. I am so tired of reading this kind of thing that is certainly borderline abusive and is absolutely disrespectful. This is clearly a troll. Why are we even responding to it?
  4. Thank you so much for the compliment. The reason I’m here is to try and help people because I am so fortunate to have the experience that I have an a wonderful spanking partner. I don’t think I’m qualified to start a spanking dating site but I do think someone could do it. In fact, I hope they do! Best regards, John
  5. Sorry to bother you again but one more bit of clarification if you don’t mind. Are you saying that You were going to be writing about what some might consider to be child-abuse but since you’ve defined adult as a younger age, it doesn’t count? Forgive me, but that sure sounds like what you’re saying to me.
  6. While I appreciate your kind offer of assistance in pointed me toward researching this topic in what you consider to be an ethical way, what I am really interested in is the question I asked you if you’re willing to answer it. What specific initiation rites do you have in mind for your project? What happens? What do you see, hear and feel. What specifically is observable? Of course, if you’re uncomfortable disclosing that, I will understand. Thank you
  7. I am really sorry to hear this and understand how disappointed you could be. I have a similar story around spankings. But I also have Other friends who said that they had red hot sex up until the point they were married and then it very rapidly fell off. How do you deal with this? I have no idea. I do think it’s common, though.
  8. I think that if you do a search on self spanking here you’ll get about a months worth of reading material. Lots written about it.
  9. I see. Well, interesting that you make a distinction in judging the existence of appropriation by parsing the act to be either inspiration or copying. I’m actually doing a project that touches on native Americans and their lives, and would still be interested in knowing which rites, ceremonies, beliefs, or other observations of theirs that you find inspirational as a writer and the puberty rights that you are referring to. Thanks
  10. Damn speech recognition. That should’ve been Native American rites
  11. Do you know which native American rights they are copying? Thanks again
  12. That should’ve been head over to Fet. As in FetLife
  13. I would love to see some real research on this topic. I’ve always been curious but you just can’t rely on anecdotal evidence. That doesn’t dispute the fact that there’s some folks that are making this work. I’m not judging it. I’m just curious. I think I’m going to head over to fit and see if any of the smart folks over there have done any structured research. Some of them are academics and eventually studied S&M and published in journals. We’ll see what they say '
  14. I do this sometimes for really severe spankings. I asked about this on fetlife and a neuroscientist asked me if I had any sensory processing issues and told me that he would imagine that I did based on this comment. Well damn, he’s right I do. Some amazing smart people over there
  15. I've been catching up on my reading this afternoon and intended to look at your post earlier this week. Pardon my delay for just now getting back. I'm curious about a couple of things that you said. You're looking for input but it sounds like you have quite a bit of experience. You were talking about indoctrinating 12-year-olds in the giver. Can you tell me what The Giver is please? I will also admit to knowing almost nothing about pagans. What is this ritual that you participate in where you initiate young teens? Nothing I've ever heard of. thanks
  16. Dear LexP I am so sorry that you have endured this pain. Especially the fact that you have tried so hard to make it work makes it even more unfortunate. This may not help you, but what he’s doing is a well established pattern in some Break ups. The spouse will do everything in their partner wanted them to do but only after they have separated. I don’t really understand it completely, but I don’t know if that matters. I did want to let you know that this is really not about you and happens more often than you would think. It’s an unconscious pattern that he’s running but still very hurtful to you.
  17. Hi Shygurl Thank you for being willing to post this and for your incredible contributions to this great site. Would you be willing to tell us more about the mechanics of how this worked? It seems to me that your relationship is different from any of the ones that I’ve heard about. Yours sound very helpful, balanced and sane i’m especially interested in how you decided on the rules, what actually triggered a spanking, and the fact that you didn’t resent the arrangement or him. This actually sounds wonderful to me also appears that you completely retained your sense of being an autonomous person v May I ask how you decided to enter this arrangement and what caused you to terminate it? I think you to help a lot of us because there are many people who are doing this arrangement very differently than you are with what appears to me to be disastrous results. Thank you, John
  18. I’m not looking, but if you spanked several women from this board, I know that lots of people would Want to know how specifically you engage them in conversation and then met and spanked them. Would you mind sharing?
  19. I want to be careful but I’m not criticizing somebody’s choices. I’m certainly not in a position to judge for you and certainly not if I don’t know you well. I will say that this guardian story puts up a straw person for a therapist That’s not what therapist do and this one is incompetent. Also, the dominatrix is having the person do basic organizational things that you might learn in high school. Getting a planner and scheduling your calls with your mother is certainly not anything that requires coaching. It’s common sense and I don’t see how anyone could even get through high school without mastering this. That’s not therapy. The reason I keep jumping in here is that therapy is serious business. You can put your psyche at risk and open yourself to serious damage if you allow the wrong person to be a therapist. You don’t have any guarantees if you get one that’s licensed and has a doctorate, but it’s a good start. Somebody that declares that they are a coach with no credentials and no peer review and no supervision whatsoever then wants to put you in sub space scares the hell out of me. You wouldn’t believe the stories I’ve heard from some of my friends and some of the messes I’ve cleaned up from people being mistreated by incompetent licensed therapists. I’ve known people that got into category three games with these people in the middle and one case even resulted in a suicide. I suppose that’s all I will say but going to a dominatrix for fun or somebody doing spanking for a game is certainly one thing. Trusting them with your life and emotional well-being is quite another, in my humble opinion.
  20. I keep seeing this is more of a reward and a punishment. He’s using his hand and seems pretty glad to see her.
  21. There's something about this picture that is really hot to me. I think you could put any scenario you wanted on it, but I'm imagining her to be getting turned on as well as punished. Ithere's something about this picture that is really hot to me. I think you could put any scenario you wanted on it, but I'm imagining her to be getting turned on as well as punished. I love it!
  22. https://www.missschris.net/ I don’t know anything about her but I will say that I’ve never seen a self promoter like this since Tony Robbins. The wide range of things she claims to be an expert in make me highly skeptical. I also noticed that she has absolutely no listing of credentials, unless I’ve missed it. I would love to be wrong. Perhaps someone here is actually been to her and can tell us how they were different the a year later since it takes that long to get past the placebo effect and really tell if something worked. Of course, you might have a good time. Full speed ahead!
  23. There’s lots and lots and lots written about spanking therapy here, including links to psychiatrists in Russia that do it. Just do a search on it.
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