tryingit

I imagine if he posted his email publicly, that he got so much nasty spam that he probably decided to shut it down. His name is “guest.” Be careful.

I don’t think this is common though there’s probably a place here and there that does it. The medical/therapy community hasn’t embraced it. There was one called Spanking For Wellness that shut down without notice. Maybe that’s what you are asking about?

Neither a fan of Fetlife. Doesnt take much looking to see it’s way different than what many of us may want. People into extreme stuff. And yes, I don’t like seeing people’s photos of undress on their front profile page, before they even have conversed with you. Seems like way too many things to weed through and be disgusted by before finding the needle in the haystack, if one even exists. This forum is unique, although it doesn’t have the express purpose of facilitating meetups. If it did, it probably would become another Fetlife, unfortunately.

Does anyone know what happened to the business Spanking For Wellness, that used to be in NYC, then moved to the DC area (MD, actually). They seemed to be an okay place from the website. Not a bondage or even sexual place. Seemed to be a clean place. Never went. All the sudden in 2017, site jaunt said they were closing down. No further info. I at times wonder what happens to these types of things. Like, did someone who doesn’t understand blackmail them out of business? They just don’t feel like doing it anymore? They actually were doing bad things despite their web page’s appearances of being an above the board operation? I just wonder as it seems to happen that these types of folks shut down shop with no notice or explanation given. http://www.spankingforwellness.com/

Geez poster, I never thought a few statements would be a big deal to you. I liked the reply suggestions of possibly filtering it. All this has been amazing. As I’ve tried to explain, when comparing to something else to make a point, one has to look at the common denominator of the things compared, not the inevitable differences.

Hey aftergeometry, what happened to the nonjudgmental-ness? It was only a suggestion. Geez. I’m dumbfounded you could be so upset I aired my mind.

Never did I think or say this is a dating site. However, comparisons to other things are frequently made to help make a point. That’s what I did. I made comparisons to 2 separate I other types of sites that differ, but have common denominators as well. I never called anyone inappropriate, flippant, or cheap. I hope the same lack of judgement (someone feels judged?) is reserved for me for posting this. I was proposing something I thought may be considered as respectful towards other forum members. It turns out a number of replies were from people who think similarly; but presented possibly different ideas for implementation. Why is one avatar perceived differently than another? I don’t know. It just is. Why is total nakedness and privates different than a picture of a concrete floor when they are all just digital 1 and 0’s? Who knows, really.

I never said anything related to “saving yourself,” with that term meaning to abstain from sexual activity till marriage. This is exactly why the response generated my question. BTW: I don’t know why someone would have disdain such a thing if someone can do it, branding it as some “old fashioned” term with ambiguous meaning. Even on sites where people aren’t looking to “save themselves” showing private’s to the world is seen as cheap and flippant. And on sites that have advice/discussion of intimate matters (even when non-sexual, like s lot of this one is) it is additionally seen as inappropriate, as it distracts from the mission of giving or receiving advice.

This site has amazingly been able to operate , increase features, remain relatively sane and safe, all the while while being free and not inviting advertisers or selling info to advertisers (I hope not at least). There must be some generous people running the site. Great, but I wonder if as the site grows it may face trouble and temptation to start to do something we wouldn’t appreciate to fund the costs of the site. What’s the estimate on cost of the site, not including if moderators were paid? (I’m not saying I don’t value what the moderators do, but just trying to compare to other forums that also use volunteer moderators but have other ways of funding for site costs beyond moderators). Has the site ever considered accepting donations? Or does that cause too much IRS troubles if the site began raising money? If the site ever does have to start raising funds, hopefully it could be via a voluntary donation model, and one that accepts gift cards, so bank statements won’t say $$ went to “spankingneeds” every month.

I agree this is more of an advice site. So for that reason, I think some photos in certain places aren’t conducive to advice. Just like some should be free to post photos; some, I think, should be free to browse certain areas of the site without seeing certain photos. We have a special section for posting erotic material. Maybe there. Maybe if someone wants to display these types of photos of themselves to the public, it should be for those who click on their profile to learn more about them specifically. I made comparisons to dating sites, and relationship advice sites. Yes, I know this isn’t a dating site. But I’m saying it’s a site discussing intimate (even if non-sexual) relationships, and for advice. Would I expect to go onto a relationship advice site and see someone in some form of undress, trying to suggest to me that I should trust them, because “look at what they are showing to the world. They have gotten a chance to use this body as shown here with numerous people or with one person in a fulfilling way, so listen up.” Or would it be necessary on such a site, for someone to show their undress so I can get a perspective as to their “interests?”

Geez I think having a habit of viewing this site at work is rather dangerous for a number of reasons, regardless of any filters.

Chiloflight: I agree with you it’s not a dating site. That’s why I made comparisons to both dating and relationship advice sites to indicate that such photos aren’t normally wanted on these. And this site does discuss matters in relationships that are highly personal and intimate. Question: I don’t understand how in one sentence we say this isn’t a dating site; then follow with a sentence with apparent disdain for those who save themselves. By the second sentence, aren’t we asserting some are posting these photos for sexual purposes?

I’m sure many wouldn’t like this rule, but I wonder why we don’t ask people not to show nakedness in their profile photos. Seriously, not long ago, I went to the website and saw that of 4 of the main forums, the same person had posted in each one. How did I know? The little photo of the person’s red rear appeared at each of the forum buttons, meaning they were the most recent poster. To me (and I think to most), spanking relationships, regardless of if they are considered sexual in any way, are intimate highly personal relationships. And quality (rather than flippant) friendships can develop between participants. Would I expect to go onto a high quality dating site and see people in forms of undress? No, rather this aspect of someone may be saved for later if we meet enough times. Or since this is an advice site, would I expect a reputable relationship advice site to have profiles showing people in forms of undress? Maybe there should be a segregated section of the site where this kind of stuff is shown, rather than anywhere.

I think you ought to be careful using that thing on yourself and in the sink, if you are saying sometimes you use it for sink too. You don’t want to get some kind of infection complications.

Does anyone know what happened to this business? In 2017 their website just changed to say they were shutting down. No word since I’m why. Its too bad as it seemed like perhaps the only time a place existed that was so open about what they did, had a message that seemed to be clean, non-abusive, non-sexual, caring, understanding, and professional. From the website, seemed like a place that may be okay to go to, though I never went. One has to wonder what happened. Did the owner get too old or sick? Too expensive to do? Lost interest? Did some overly zealous person find an artsy way to get them in legal trouble? It would be great to know. Not aware of another comparable place like it.