Sparklebuns
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Posts posted by Sparklebuns
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For me I’ve found my desire and level of submission depends on my relationship with my Dom. I’m naturally submissive and prefer to be so, but have also always had certain limits. I wanted to keep certain things to my own independence. However with the relationship my Master/Dom and I have built, I have no limits. I am completely submissive to him, his needs, desires, and expectations. I want him to have 100% control of anything he wants. This is an evolution that I never expected, but love that I have found.
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He does not give a set number of swats and does not require me to count them. Both good and bad imo. I’m not sure I could concentrate on counting, however at least with counting I’d know when to expect it to end. Lol
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I have reached subspace from intense pain and intense pleasure, I’m not sure if it could be reached from significant punishment spankings but I’d venture to think yes. As described it is a euphoric floating feeling, an altered state where I remember a warm and happy feeling and vaguely remembering all that’s happening. Much of it is based of the relationship with the Top (ER, Dom, etc). With a deep connection the subspace becomes very intense and easily reachable.
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I have a few I keep noted, the first is my favorite:
“The same boiling water that softens the potato hardens the egg. It's about what you're made of, not the circumstances.”— Mel Robbins
“A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.” — George Bernhard Shaw
“Happiness isn’t something that’s achieved, it’s a skill that’s cultivated and practiced daily. It’s mastery comes from serving others.”
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Today I am grateful for
1. painfully realizing something you thought was real, actually wasn’t.
2. having an amazing support system of friends
3. Knowing others have been given 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th (etc) chances but refuse to do the same for others
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Mornings! I am typically up at a decent hour of the morning but I am not functional. Takes me some time and coffee to embrace the day! I would probably be a bit defiant ?
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Mentally I want to be still and compliant but he makes me squirm, kick, block etc very quickly! He is able to grab my attention instantly. He tells me to stay still, but I just can’t seem to. As soon as his hand, belt or paddle starts to meet my behind I’m unable to control myself. In the moment I just want it to stop, but once he stops I just want to be there again.
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It kills me to disappoint my Sir. The worst punishment is the terrible feeling of knowing I’ve disappointed or upset him. Any punishment given is to help clear the slate and I will accept any punishment he feels is suitable to get to the issue cleared. I always want him pleased
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Today I am grateful for ?
1. Sir
2. Walls
3. Pain relief
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I’ve talked about my kinks and needs with friends in the past. I don’t speak of it now except with my very best friend and another very good friend. The topic is avoided otherwise.
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Today I’m grateful for
1. Life
2. Regret
3. Off the chart ?
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Thank you! ?
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Today I’m grateful for
1. My family.. their health, happiness and and stability.
2. The Fire and the Flood
3. A relaxing weekend
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“A Dangerous Method”, although it is more on the sexual spanking end of the spectrum
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1. My family. That to this point all have remained healthy, happy, and safe.
2. My Dom/ER. How he is with me, what he gives me and how we are growing
3. My job. For abruptly helping change the way we work so I can still be employed and paid without change during this
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My biggest deterrent is disappointing or upsetting my Dom/ER. Knowing that I truly upset him would be the worst, and it doesn’t matter what punishment would come along with that. It’s the emotional pain that hurts the most
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If I were getting them daily, I’d ask for evenings! I’m not a morning person at all and can be a little quiet/grumpy first thing in the am. At least evenings would help with sleep! Plus if you know you’re in trouble in the morning how would you sleep? ?
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Yes I would. I’d plead my case but ultimately it’s not going to be up to me and I accept that. I have asked for and submitted to a TPE, total not just when I want to or feel it’s fair for me. I’ll remain obedient and respectful as much as possible, my goal is to not earn actual punishments.
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I would only go to a kink friendly therapist. When I was in therapy I made sure that I chose one who was kink friendly. She was incredibly helpful and non-judgmental. She helped me talk through what fulfills my needs vs. things that were actually damaging to me. I enjoyed talking with her about so much and loved hearing her perspective. You may want to consider finding a therapist like that. Luckily there are physicians, therapists, etc that do understand. I’m pretty sure she was a member of the kink community, just by things she understood and knew. I truly feel that those who don’t have needs of spanking or kink, can not really understand it. To them it’s not only been “caused” by some life event, but they also feel that if u ignore it you won’t want it. Like you can be “cured” from it. Personally I see those of us in the spanking and kink world looked at like being gay was and at times still is. Sin, confusion, able to be changed. However, we all know it’s just who we are
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I really want to go out with my friends and travel again!! Go out to a restaurant, head out on a fishing charter, and get my hair done!
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Immensely
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On 6/6/2019 at 9:34 AM, selfsp12 said:
- When was your last spanking? Friday
- What were you spanked for? Drinking and not saying Sir
- How long was; the spanking itself, the total session including pre, [ost, and talking/lecturing during? Not sure, not super long
- What implement or implements were used? Hand
- How many spanks (total) with each implement? I didn’t count
- How much did it hurt during the spanking (1 - barely felt it, 3 - mild discomfort, 5 - it really hurt)?
- How long and how much did it hurt after the spanking (1 - barely felt it, 3 - mild discomfort, 5 - it really hurt)?
- Did you consider it a good spanking (pain aside, it was enjoyable or at least not disappointing)? Yes
- Did you consider it effective (it meet its desired purpose in your mind)? I’ve been mentally completely where I should be since
- Were you spanked by a partner, totally self, or direct self spanking? partner ?
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My nightly skin care routine. Idk why but some nights I just don’t want to go through the process but I know I have to. It feels like it takes forever, but probably takes about 5 minutes. ?
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If it were not someone I was also sexually involved with, I don’t think I would want aftercare. To me that’s what builds the intimacy and strengthens trust after intense scene. I know that trust in a ER is also very important but to me the connection wouldn’t be the same as my connection to someone I’m sexually intimate with. Nor would I want it to be.
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Sometimes ya just need a good old fashion spanking
in Spank Me, Oh Yes! (erotic)
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Yes. So much this