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Ed J

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About Ed J

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  • Birthday 01/01/1965

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    Lansing MI
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  1. I am going to respond to this issue somewhat technically with some additional commentary as appropriate. First we need to define the terms: Spank: to strike an appropriate area within appropriate instrument or the hand or part of the hand for the purpose of causing pain Please note that as we describe some of these body areas that the term spanking is usually not applied but given the definition above it is appropriate e.g., breast whipping, thigh caning, etc. Furthermore, I will add some appropriate notes to clarify issues for those that are unfamiliar. The target area
  2. I just found these valuable safety rules posted by Lady Pandora: https://www.spankingneeds.com/board/applications/core/interface/file/attachment.php?id=6192 Very well done!
  3. Geeky_Child thank you for your insightful posts! Gator, thanks for the safety reminder! I know Geeky_Child wasn't trying to avoid the topic and the goal was to look closely at what happens IN a spanking session but having a "safety call" in place BEFORE you meet someone for a session, ESPECIALLY your first session cannot be overemphasized. If you think about it there are several other techniques that provide even greater safety but they also are more work as well. If you have done your due diligence then a safety call is little bother and a good idea ESPECIALLY your first session.
  4. RBG & Rude-Rumps, I thank you both and I appreciate you both more than you know. You have both helped me a lot! Normally I agree with you both 100% but on this one I have to disagree. Out of desperation I too have tried self spanking. For me it bears no resemblance to receiving a spanking from somebody else and I don't understand precisely why that is the case. Perhaps I know that I am actually in control? Doing it myself seems to substantially reduce the pain that I feel. Perhaps because, I know exactly when the strike will hit? I have largely abandoned self-spanking because I s
  5. I think that this is the best solution for exactly the reasons that DarkSteven states. Problem is how to meet within the community. If anyone knows how to find community events or any other get togethers would you please communicate how to find those for the safety of newcomers? I think that this is really the only practical alternative to the above post. However the one above, I believe, is by far the better choice. The reason is that actually watching a scene shows you exactly how the ER/EE interact and really nothing can replace that. Also people can mask their true self during
  6. Thanks to Christy, because I had missed the obvious that the spanking situation is very different now than when I was in BDSM 20 years ago or so. Then, there were several built in safeties. We only met at parties so there were a lot of people (witnesses) and damn near everyone, at least in that environment, demanded that everything be consensual. Meeting alone with somebody you don’t know and making yourself vulnerable, especially for women, could be very dangerous. Thanks to Sadie for providing this perspective. I am switch though I greatly prefer bottom. So I can get a glimpse of th
  7. Thank you so much rude_rumps! You said, “Many people are really really judgmental about these things...I'm sorry to say I think many people honestly view us as freaks. So for many of us I think 'coming out' could have major negative consequences for family relationships, friends and careers. The good thing is that I do think society has made some progress... When I was a teenager and young adult it was much much worse. There were no places like this to meet and talk to people...I felt truly alone like I was the only person in the world.” I agree on both counts wholeheartedly. What
  8. OMG Jaxx 216 I cracked up when I read both of your posts 🤣: “Love the kitchen gadget isle in the dollar store or grocery, there I always stop and look at all the different imements hanging like wooden spoonz and spatulas. Always feel my heart race a little and get a feeling of arrousal in my loins. Samething happens at the clothing isle with belts.” “Forgot about the hairbrush section....sensory overload!” I would add the following: When I’m in these departments I can’t help from “testing” the merchandise. I look around to make sure nobody is looking then I slap the i
  9. I would love to have a sadist ER! I want my ER to enjoy my pain. I want them to want to give me more pain and REALLY ENJOY punishing me! This not my own idea. I can't quote w/o permission but in essence, there is an unfair distribution of focus and attention on the EE most of the time today while the ER is largely ignored or worse still, seen as the servant of the EE. My ER deserves every possible pleasure from my punishment. If they enjoy seeing my pain I will show them and I hope they want more! If they want me quiet, I will keep it in and hope they enjoy that. I believe that giving the
  10. In a different post I stated, "Spankee should be reduced to incoherent crying if possible. Once that is accomplished for an appropriate time, allowing a recovery pause for return of comprehension would allow the spanker to rest her arm and allow the punished to truly atone for their failures. The spanking should restart when the spanker is ready & do it again to really make a point. This may be done more than 2 times." I believe that it is also true if a bottom is numb. The break allows the return of not only sensation, but enhanced pain because the EE is already sore. Also I found th
  11. I hope you all will enjoy this, a very interesting method: http://www.spankinglife.com/how-i-spank-my-husband/ “He will try to talk me out of what he has coming, even while he is being prepared so he cannot stop me when I get started no matter how hard he tries. His arms are secured with wrist bands that have small chains hanging from each. I put them on and then have him hug himself and clip them in the back. Quick and easy to fasten, each buckles and one chain has a clip on the end that clips into the links of the other. They act like a little straight jacket – he is rendered quit
  12. Brilliant answer RedBottomGirl (Emphasis added): "Everyone has unique tastes and interpretations of what certain reactions mean. I think that as a spanker learns what the spankee is looking for and expects in a spanker, spankees also need to learn what a spanker is looking for as well so both sides can fully benefit. Communication is key. If a spanker says they expect you to be still and take every swat without moving or yelling, and you are willing to do that, do it. If they expect you to authentically react, do that if it suits you. Learn about each spanker in each situation and do what
  13. 20 years ago when I was heavily into the BDSM scene mostly as a bottom I was classified as a "pain slut" because I wanted to be broken or at least be driven to cry and that never happened. I thought at that time the greatest complement that I could pay a top was binding myself to their will and receiving the punishment "perfectly" which for me meant no movement, not making sounds, and pretty much just taking everything that they dished out without any complaint. Then I ran into a female top that stopped in the middle of a really rigorous punishment session and asked me, "does that hurt?"
  14. Awesome thoughtfulness so far! My, aren't we spankos and insightful psychiatrically oriented lot? I agree that a witness is a wonderful way to increase humiliation. Placement of the witnesses if there are any could enhance this. For some, having the witness observing their face while they take the pain can be quite humiliating especially if they are laughing or really enjoying the torment. There is another example below. Another method to increase humiliation that shouldn't be forgotten is positioning. If the EE is positioned such that the legs are spread and cheeks are parted many
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