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Everything posted by Longtimespanking

  1. Many disciplinarians have their own preferences about that. Some of us prefer or even require our submissives to remain natural, while other disciplinarians require them to shave bare before presenting themselves for a spanking. Still others leave it up to the choice of the submissive. It can be quite embarrassing or even humiliating for a submissive who normally remains natural to be told to shave before their spanking, which can make the whole interaction more intense for the one being punished. As far as the original question about being spanked alongside another person, while growing up back in the 50's and 60's I was spanked with others on a number of occasions. Back in those days it was fairly common when you got caught misbehaving with another person, both of you could reasonably expect to get punished together. This happened at school as well as at home or at the home of friends.
  2. I've done many spankings in hotel rooms over the years, and agree that you want to choose one that is relatively soundproof as well as asking for a room at the end of a hall or on a less busy floor. Other options are facilities that rent individual cottage like buildings which are far enough apart that no one could hear, or renting an entire house on AirBnB for about the same cost as a hotel room.
  3. I think each has it's own nuances and differences, so they are not identical. Many dominants do not give their submissives very much leeway, and a sub is typically seen as being required to do whatever the dominant orders them to. In some situations that could be unpleasant or uncomfortable if the sub finds herself doing things to please the dominant which are not pleasurable at all for herself. So clear definitions of what is expected, and what the hard limits are must be made at the outset. A disciplinarian on the other hand is an authority figure who takes the responsibility for keeping someone who is asking to be accountable to them on track, focused, and employs punishment to correct inappropriate or unwanted behavior but may also reward good behavior by granting additional privileges. While a disciplinarian might be required to administer some fairly serious punishments, the interactions are respectful and there is discussion and sometimes even negotiation when both are open to that. Certainly the person who is asking to be accountable to a disciplinarian must also agree to be submissive to that person as far as obeying the rules they agree upon or accepting punishments which are deserved, but the disciplinarian does not attempt to control all aspects of that person's life in the way that a dominant might. A disciplinarian is also a mentor for the person who is accountable to them, and offers their thoughts and encouragement for the person to do better and formulate ways to correct their own behavior.
  4. What you are looking for is more likely to be a Disciplinarian. Someone that you ask to be held accountable to, and make reports to based upon your behavior or lack of behavior. Typically a disciplinarian will work with you to create a set of rules that are specific to your own situation and needs, and then hold you to them. When rules are broken, punishment may be required, and in the realm of the things we do, that punishment may be a spanking, but may also include other things such as taking away privileges. I've been a disciplinarian since a girl I met in the first semester of college at age 18 asked if I could hold her accountable for her lack of good grades and spank her as needed. I agreed to, and have been a disciplinarian for many other women over the years.
  5. It can definitely work both ways. Growing up I had my pants and underpants pulled down (or was undressed) just about as often by the person spanking me, as I was instructed to do those myself. I think a lot of it depends upon the dynamic between the two people involved. When spanking someone I frequently start out with a warmup while they are still fully dressed. With some of them, I prefer to undress her myself in steps as the spanking session proceeds. But for really serious offenses if one wants to get the spankees full attention at the start, there is nothing else like ordering her to undress at the beginning.
  6. This is exactly why I frequently make use of the diaper position for more serious offenses, as part of a longer spanking experience. It is by far the most vulnerable of all the possible positions, and definitely humiliating for a woman to have everything completely on display.
  7. I've heard of Legos being used just scattered on the floor or bed. Putting them onto a dedicated Lego mat sounds interesting as well. The irregular shapes would surely be very unpleasant and uncomfortable to sit or lay on for any length of time. I am going to have to try that with my submissives in the future.
  8. I have a lifelong underpants fetish, which I'm certain comes from being able to see the underpants of the girls at school while they were being spanked, since that was allowed and commonly done back when I was growing up. I also have a very strong medical fetish. Many things in the kink/BDSM realm overlap into spanking as well, such as restraining the person being spanked. I incorporate those into my spanking and disciplinary interests as often as possible.
  9. Absolutely. Always willing to discuss things related to spankings and discipline. I've used just about every implement you could possibly imagine over the years. I am on here every day or so, and will respond when I am able to.
  10. Hairbrush, by far because it's not only heavier but able to be swung harder. Put a longer handle on it like a wooden bath brush, and it gets even worse.
  11. Having grown up in the 50's and 60's when spanking was very common, and allowed in schools, I quickly realized that I liked watching my classmates getting caught doing something which resulted in them being spanked. Although it was never discussed there seemed to be some common bond among those of us who were spanked. I'd say that by second or third grade this interest in spankings had become very clear to me.
  12. Of course everyone will have their own personal thoughts, but there will be a lot of times where one person's thinking perfectly merges with the consensus of the group as a whole. What does the term spanko mean to you? A person who consensually participates as an adult in spanking, whether giving or receiving. A spanko does not necessarily have to associate sexual connotations to their spankings, but some people choose to. A spanko can also be someone who is simply very curious about spankings, who likes to view videos or photos of people engaging in spanking interactions or showing freshly spanked bottoms, or read spanking stories. I believe it is possible to be a very serious spanko and a huge fan of spankings, but never actually give or receive one, and those people are almost certainly deriving sexual pleasures from the photos and videos. Does fetish have a positive, negative, or neutral connotation? Please explain. For me it is neutral. I do not like the thought that a fetish is something which is sexually exciting but isn't supposed to be. That makes it wrong in many ways to some people, which it isn't. You can have a fetish about many things and never associate it with sexual pleasure or excitement. What about kink? Kink is also neutral as far as any sexual connotations. I describe kink as a different way of doing things from what most other people would consider normal, and that often involves added intensity or things considered to be in the realm of BDSM play. That does not make kink bad, or good. It is strictly the choice of the participant. Some people may take great sexual pleasure from their kinks, while others may not have that reaction at all and do not engage in any sort of sexual activity at the time they are practicing their kink. Do you consider spanking to be a fetish, kink, your inherent sexuality... something else? Once I was in my teens and old enough to start to understand things, and particularly after I was invited to spank a girl I had met during the first semester of college and found I greatly enjoyed being on the giving end as well as receiving, I considered it something I was psychologically hard wired for. It was not sexual for me, only very enjoyable in many ways. It is a fetish, and a kink for most of us who participate in it, and it is the inherent sexual preference for many people as well.
  13. Yes, a number of times over the years. At a couple of spanking parties I was spanked alongside others. My family believed in birthday spankings and since most of my cousins had birthdays within a short time span in the spring or again in the fall, usually at least a few of us were spanked at the same time. I was also spanked alongside other misbehaving students at school, and several times with friends while growing up.
  14. This is exactly why I also often choose to restrain the women I spank, particularly when the spanking is going to be lengthy or more severe. Dominance as their disciplinarian definitely figures into it, and intensifying their emotions by increasing their vulnerability by being restrained is also part of it. But preventing unwanted, sudden movements that could unintentionally result in injury is also a major factor and no one would want that to happen. I feel that someone who chooses to be submissive needs to agree to be 100% submissive by consenting to be restrained in whatever manner I feel is needed at any given time.
  15. I find it too easy to break a yardstick due to the length, but was definitely spanked with one a number of times growing up. My preference for stick type spanking implements would be two of the larger, heavier paint stirrer paddles taped together to double up the mass and thickness. Hurts like hell, ask any of the women I spank with that. 10 smacks is child's play. Real spankings start out at 100 or more strokes. Most of the ones I give are many hundreds, maybe even 1000 over the course of an hour.
  16. I've used them both ways. They are typically used in person as part of corner time or as a replacement for corner time, and could be before, during a break, or after the completion of the usual spanking time. For in person sessions, the mat is never used as the only method of punishment but is always combined with actual spanking and other possible forms of punishment as well. For long distance disciplinary interactions in which the EE is required and instructed to perform self punishments, the mat can be very effectively used as a punishment by itself, or added in as a requirement for a more involved punishment. Exact directions are given as far as how long each session on the mat is to last, and what the EE is required to wear, or not wear, during her punishment. Other disciplinarians may choose to do things differently but I have developed a fairly standard method which has excellent results and always leaves the EE feeling that she has been adequately and effectively punished.
  17. Everyone has their own preferences. I see no reason to watch the clock and time things out to the minute and then stop, but over the years have noticed that my spankings typically last an hour, sometimes a bit longer. 20-30 minutes would be a really short one and not very likely to happen. Now I intentionally take short breaks to change implements, change positions, apply restraints, remove more clothing, and so on. But any given segment with a specific implement is likely to be around 10 minutes or longer and I will always use multiple implements, probably 5 or 6 of them in the course of a single spanking session. I also space each stroke out by several seconds so the spankee is awaiting the next one. 10-15 strokes per minutes is a good speed for me. Having said that, the OP's report of about a 4 minute spanking could be increased significantly in the future. If you really want more of a spanking, at a time when you are not being spanked try discussing your wants and hopes for longer. You don't have to go to extremes any time soon, but agreeing to try for about 10-12 minutes next time should result in you liking it even more. Then just continue to gradually extend the time. Even while growing up and being spanked at school those spankings were usually longer than 4 minutes, and the ones at home were always a lot longer than that.
  18. I would define maintenance as a regularly scheduled spanking intended to accomplish two important things, but it should not be limited to those. 1) An affirmation that the person being spanked is accountable to their spanker/disciplinarian for behavioral issues. This means a fairly hard spanking as an attention getter and motivational tool. 2) As punishment for all the smaller things that take place, which in and of themselves would usually not deserve a dedicated spanking, but when taken all together, do deserve punishment. The maintenance spanking should clear the slate of all those smaller issues and provide a reset for the one who is accountable. Maintenance spankings work really well if both people involved are in agreement about the principle and reasoning behind doing this in the first place. A maintenance spanking is not a gentle, nor a fun experience for the spankee and should never be thought of as such. It is indeed punishment, and is indeed a reminder of accountability and therefore should not be a quickly done interaction nor should it be gently administered. Whenever possible maintenance spankings ought to be done on a schedule, perhaps once a month works for some people, but more frequent maintenance spankings work even better or might even be required for others. I think once a week would not be excessive and have used that schedule with a number of women over the years. Also, if using the concept of maintenance spankings, then there must also be an agreement that any serious issues which come up in the meantime will be dealt with separately from the maintenance, and will occur as swiftly as possible after the need arises. It's important to try to keep the two things separate as much as possible.
  19. I've used this punishment quite effectively. The coarse tan fiber sort of doormat that's about an inch thick is what you want. In certain cultures people are punished by being forced to lay naked on a full length version of such a mat for hours at a time. You will not like it at all, but you will be able to tolerate it. 20-30 minutes at a time is about the right amount of time. When I punish someone with a doormat, any requirements for a longer time on the mat (typically 60 minutes total) are broken up into shorter segments. The clear plastic carpet protectors are brutal, and should be avoided because the spiky points on those are too far apart and cause excruciating pain as well as possibly puncturing the skin.
  20. Yes, that definitely happened to me several times while growing up, usually when we were pretty far from home and it was decided not to wait but to get it over with. Then, the first girl I spanked as an adult while in college absolutely loved to be spanked outdoors in parking lots or similar locations and I've had a number of other women since then who I have spanked at various roadside or outdoor locations.
  21. I never thought to keep track while growing up. I was raised in the 50's and 60's when spanking was still allowed in schools and was very commonly done. My lack of behavior was obvious and resulted in spankings both at home and at school all the way through high school. I was also spanked quite a few times by other relatives or by the mothers of friends that caught me doing things that were against their rules while visiting at their house. Then as an adult I've mostly been a disciplinarian for others but there have been a number of those spankees that I have switched with, and I also attended a few spanking get togethers where I was spanked by multiple people each time. The total number of people who have spanked me could be 50, it could be a bit lower, or a bit higher. Hopefully I can continue to add a few new ones in the future.
  22. In recent years there has been some acceptance of the stuff we enjoy in the non kink community (read=regular people) and 50 Shades greatly increased those people's curiosities, to the point where far more "normal, regular" people are experimenting with kink such as spankings and restraining one's sexual partners during sex, than ever before. So it stands to reason that there are more people that are willing to try such things even on their wedding night to see what they are all about. I think that spanking one's partner before or during sex is becoming a part of widely practiced foreplay, and is much more common than most people want to admit to. Doing that does not necessarily make one a spanko, even if they like it.
  23. Not wanting to take this off topic at all, but I have to say that I learned a long time ago that ANY such comment needs to have an immediate response and reaction. You never know what is possible if you don't try to find out whether they are serious or can be engaged in further discussion of that topic. I've met some amazing spanking partners, and given and received very good spankings as a result of someone's casual comment. Generally someone will not say anything like that unless they either have experience that led them to knowing it's OK to say that, or else they are closet kinky and wanting to have some fun with a random person at that moment. One of the most recent, holiday season 2021 while checking out at the cashier in a department store the clerk managed to fatally bungle the transaction on her computer terminal which resulted in needing to cancel the sale and start over again. She looked at me and said that she needed to be spanked for that mistake..........so I told her that I could help her with that since I was a disciplinarian who spanked women and girls. I made sure she had my contact info from the transaction, and she did follow up on it. Ended up giving her several spankings in the next few months as a result. In regard to the OP's question, I do know of spanko couples where such things were discussed and planned in advance to take place on the wedding night. It seems both reasonable, and a lot of fun. Traditions, rituals, and so on can all come into play. It's probably just as likely to take place with couples who are not spankos but looking for something different to create a memory.
  24. Yes, I always set a minimum time for the spanking to last, or a minimum number of strokes, always choosing to use multiple implements and break the spanking up into manageable segments for each implement. If I'm going with time, then maybe 10 minutes or so with each implement. If I'm using numbers as a reference point, then I might define it as 50 strokes with implement A and 100 with implement B and so on. My spanking sessions can be anywhere from 20-30 minutes to well over an hour. The total number of strokes is never likely to be less than several hundred, and typically in the range from 500 to 1000. There are, of course, distinctions between strictly punishment spankings determined by myself as a disciplinarian in response to her breaking an agreed upon rule or otherwise getting into trouble, and those which are oriented toward fun or as a request/craving/need expressed by the person to be getting a spanking.
  25. Over the years I've had several women who were sent to me by their romantic partners for spankings, mostly on an ongoing basis that lasted for years. This sort of arrangement can actually work out really well for everyone involved, provided we are all on the same page about things. There are some people who have their own reasons for not wanting to be the one to spank their partner, while others probably just find it more exciting and perhaps a lot more vulnerable to send their partner to someone who is basically a stranger. In any event in this specific situation I think it might be a good thing, if you are able to reach an agreement with someone that both of you can trust for you to attend for regular spankings. You mentioned allowing him to be there as a witness to the interaction, which may well be educational for him and if he is able to see that you are very serious about wanting spankings and the disciplinarian you will be attending is very serious about giving you those spankings, he may well begin to understand that you need this sort of interaction. As long as it does not interfere with your relationship as romantic partners, then all is good. I agree with Davyd that being out in the open about this and being completely honest about what will be taking place is the best approach. It is entirely possible to conduct spanking sessions in a manner which is non sexual.
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