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Everything posted by Longtimespanking

  1. Visually, I became very aware as a teenager that somewhat bigger than average bottoms were very pleasant to look at. I often dated girls with that feature, and agree that they have fun personalities, but have never been certain of the psychology behind that fact. In my first semester at college I was approached by a girl with that shape to spank her for poor grades, as motivation to do better. Immediately I realized that I wanted to spank other girls with big bottoms, and here I am today.........
  2. I attended private schools from 1st through 12th grades, only went to the public school for one year in kindergarten. But at that time in the 1950's and 60's spanking was allowed in schools and often among the first choices for punishments when one misbehaved. Nearly every kid I knew was spanked both at home and at school. I might have gotten a few more than some of the others because my behavior was usually less than stellar. Although I was one of the top students in the class, I was bored because I was not being challenged enough by the work at my own grade level, and would not sit still or behave well. Most spankings in elementary school were in the classroom, some teachers spanked in front of the class, others would take you to the back of the room or into the attached coat room, or even out into the hallway, but everyone knew and heard what was taking place if it was a location where they couldn't see. The worst possible thing was to be sent to the office as you knew the principal or one of the other people working in the office was going to be spanking you. They would always call home or send a note home to be signed which would result in you getting an even worse spanking at home for the same thing. Nearly all of the at school spankings in the lower grades were bare bottom, and in the higher grades it could have been over your underpants, or bare bottom. It would depend upon what you had done and to some extent on how often you got into trouble. There were a few teachers who chose not to ever spank bare bottom, but most would if they felt it was justified. Our high school (an all boys school) had an official disciplinarian, and it was up to the individual teachers whether to send students who had issues in the classroom to the disciplinarian, or to administer punishment themselves on the spot or require the student to come back to the classroom after school to be punished. One teacher in particular loved to use a section of rubber automotive fuel line hose, or one of those rubber tie down straps with the hooks removed from the ends, sometimes he'd take you by the hand or grab your ear and lead you up to the front of the classroom, and you always knew exactly why he was doing that. Others used a paddle. Some of the spankings in high school were given over underpants, but some were bare bottom. All of the spankings in the disciplinarians office were bare bottom.
  3. I was spanked in front of others while growing up more times than not, and many of those times were in front of classmates at school. Likewise, I saw many other classmates being spanked, even in high school there were a few teachers who chose to spank in front of the class themselves, rather than sending a student to the school's official disciplinarian. Also witnessed some of my friends being spanked at home, if I happened to be there when it took place.
  4. That is absolutely correct, the real spanking begins at the point where the one being spanked wants it to end. Everything after that serves as the actual punishment, and as motivation not to repeat the same bad behavior in the future. My experience as a disciplinarian is that if it took 10 minutes to get the spankee to the point where they think it's time to stop, then the real spanking ought to last at least 2 or 3 times longer since the first part was really only a warmup. I definitely intensify the spanking at the point when I am aware they are becoming uncomfortable. That is not cruel, that is effective punishment because if you stopped any sooner, the desired results would not take place.
  5. I agree totally with the previous advice. Introduce the sounds of spanking slowly and cautiously and always, always keep the dog in another room as far as possible from any actual lengthy spankings. A relative had a dog which was very protective and would not allow her to spank her children, it would growl and snarl and even clamp down on her wrist or forearm with her mouth when she saw what she knew to be the beginning stage of a spanking. They are very smart........ and many of them will strongly defend/protect a person they think is in danger.
  6. My favorite smells are fresh air (try finding any of that in a major city), the smell of a lumberyard, freshly laundered clothes right out of the dryer as long as the detergent used isn't too perfumey, things baking in the oven, and the smell of a naked body right out of the shower. When I have the opportunity to smell (and hopefully also lick) a woman's clean, unshaved armpits, legs, or bush, I'm ecstatic. My least favorites are the smell of coffee (don't ever drink it, was never around it while growing up as no one in the family liked it, it makes me sick to the point where I cannot go into a restaurant at breakfast time), any form of tobacco or similar smoke, perfume, the smell of flowers (reminds me of a funeral parlor or a hospital), and farm/animal smells since I grew up in the city and was never around them.
  7. It is certainly not for everyone, because allowing oneself to be put into that extremely vulnerable situation takes a lot of confidence and trust in the person we would be allowing to restrain us. Much of the intensity of such play comes from the unknown, since we rarely know exactly what will be done to us. The use of restraints, and BDSM play in general, must always be discussed at length prior to starting any given session during which it will be used, and full consent of the one being restrained must be obtained, including how much they are allowing themselves to be hurt. When everyone involved is on the same page and it is agreed to and consent is given, then all is good. But you definitely need to take the extra steps to assure a safe escape if anything should go wrong, and also use a safe word just in case the action needs to be immediately stopped for whatever reason.
  8. Enemas are often used as part of a larger punishment, and some people use enemas by themselves as punishment. There is a very fine line between the volume of water that can be put into one's bowels as a healthy, cleansing procedure, and the point at which the pain becomes excruciating, which is desirable for punishment. Many people can tolerate 2-3 quarts fairly easily but at some point there, all of a sudden it changes to intense pain. Of course forcing the one being punished to retain the enema for a specified length of time only adds to the discomfort and makes the punishment aspects even more apparent. Some of us also insert a butt plug to further add to the discomfort as it makes releasing the enema all but impossible while it is in the rectum.
  9. I've had exactly the same concern since I am quite a bit older than most of the women I spank regularly. I have tested this and found it workable, using at least one wrist cuff which has a velcro type of closure seems to provide a means of releasing the restraint in the event it becomes necessary. I believe that most women are strong enough to pull hard against the restraint cuff and force the velcro open, after having a few of them demonstrate it to me when I expressed my concerns, they were all able to get out of it within seconds. There are, of course, also other possibilities which were mentioned previously that include intentionally leaving one restraint only partially tightened, or breakaway parts. One can never be too safe while using restraints, as the unexpected can certainly happen, and it's for the safety of the disciplinarian/spanker as much as it is for the submissive/spankee. You would want your submissive able to release herself and provide assistance to you in case of an emergency!
  10. Ten is a very low number, just saying. Of course it would hurt even worse over just cotton underpants or on the bare bottom, which is how I would be applying it. Thank you for verifying what I was thinking though, that this would be a very intense implement to use!
  11. These are reinforced rubber, with heavy nylon?? cord imbedded into the rubber for strength and to prevent stretching. They have one flat side, and one side with multiple ridges which seems very interesting as I think it could cause some marking if that was desired, and it would definitely rank as a painful implement. I believe I will be adding a segment of one into the mix of implements that I usually employ during spankings. It would not be a first choice but reserved for more serious behavioral issues when something either more painful or that would assure leaving marks was required.
  12. You could certainly make one, it would not be difficult to fabricate one from a conventional leather belt. I use other implements for punishing the more intimate bodily areas such as you are referring to. Among my favorites (and the most feared by the women I have punished with them) would be one or two wooden paint stirrer sticks, the heavy sort, taped together if there are two; a length of automotive fuel line hose; and the most feared and most painful on those areas is an extension cord doubled or tripled up. There is no issue with a disciplinarian applying direct punishment to the most intimate bodily areas, with the consent of the woman being punished. One should never go there without previous discussion, but many find that level of punishment to be desirable and it can be very effective as a deterrent to future repeated behavioral issues. Of course you have to control the intensity of such punishments, most will not be able to tolerate the same intensity as they could on their bottom or the backs or fronts of their thighs.
  13. Here are my thoughts after several decades of experience as a disciplinarian. It's actually not uncommon for one partner in a romantic relationship to be interested in participating in any given sort of activity outside the relationship, without necessarily wanting the other partner to be involved in it. This could be anything at all and does not only relate to spanking activities. It can work out very successfully provided that you are able to trust her to do what she says she intends to do, and are able to separate a desire to be spanked from a desire to have any sort of sexual or romantic interactions with the person(s) whom she wants to choose as her spanker(s). What would you say and do if she wanted for example to take up skydiving, but you aren't interested in that and she is not asking you to take it up with her? Same situation here, basically. There are many very legitimate reasons why someone does not want their romantic partner to be the person spanking them, and it is in no way a negative reflection upon you as a person nor upon your relationship. Some people simply do not want their romantic partner to be in that position of authority over them, and prefer to have such interactions with someone else who they only see for spankings. That allows the person being spanked to completely separate that activity from the rest of their life with their partner, and it does work if everyone involved is on the same page. Over the years I have had a number of women who were sent to me to be spanked by their romantic partner, who for whatever reasons chose not to be the one doing the spankings. I have also had a number of other women who chose me as their disciplinarian, after having received permission or consent from their partner to seek someone outside the relationship to help them with their wants, needs, and cravings in the realm of discipline and spanking. I think that if your relationship is strong, I would encourage you to be very understanding of her needs, since she is openly discussing it with you she is making it pretty clear that this isn't something she sees a need to hide or sneak around without your knowledge. I know it may be difficult for you at first but if she is always trustworthy in other areas of your relationship, then you ought to seriously consider allowing her to seek someone that she feels is best suited to spanking her, and allow her to interact with that person with your full consent and encouragement. Again, please keep in mind that none of this is a negative reflection on yourself, or on your relationship, and she is not trying to hide it from you.
  14. That was absolutely true in many families that I am aware of, including my own. The school would even send a note home that had to be signed and returned, or else they would actually call home and give a parent the details. And every single time, the spanking that resulted at home was far worse than anything you would have been given at school. I'd say that one of the worse spankings I ever got as far as being painful was during some play with a woman I've known since 1978, I've told about her previously here, she's about the kinkiest thing alive. We continue to play currently and in fact I saw her for lunch this afternoon. The first time I was ever alone with her, she ended up begging me to spank her within minutes of meeting telling me that she knew I wanted to and that she wouldn't take no for an answer, so I did. In any event she has always demonstrated an extreme tolerance for pain and one time when she was spanking me maybe 40 years ago, I made the mistake of taking off all limits. Needless to say I quickly learned exactly how strong she actually was and how hard she could spank if allowed to.
  15. There are quite a few who are active in this area of Michigan. First things first though, be very cautious and always play safely!
  16. A relative had a girlfriend a number of years ago, this was a romantic relationship that lasted a few years at the time, but this girl was the epitome of being a truly spoiled, obnoxious brat who felt entitled because her parents were wealthy and she didn't care very much about anyone else but herself. I would have loved to give her the bare bottom belt spanking that she most definitely deserved, and would have loved to give it to her in front of her family! I had even threatened to tell her that to her face, but did openly state my thoughts to several of her friends, and many of those people who knew her wanted to be allowed to watch that if if ever took place and even said they would pay to watch that happen.
  17. You could work towards that, but there is also another possibility to consider in addition to the maintenance spankings if there is consistent behavior that is deserving of punishment. I strongly feel that maintenance is a really good plan when both partners are on board with it and willing to commit to it. However, it is also clear that punishment spankings for other offenses are sometimes necessary. Those may or may not need to be more frequent than the maintenance spankings, depending on the person's behavior, as well as other factors. Maintenance spankings are frequently scheduled as a once per week, twice per week, or every two weeks event. Going any longer than that will tend to have less of a positive effect, it's better to do them more often. A number was mentioned of 20-25-30 minutes for a maintenance spanking, and that seems about right and is a number used by many people. That length of time of consistent hard spanking will get anyone's attention and motivate them to behave well. Many couples have used a logbook-points system for punishment spankings, and this is something you might want to try for a while as well. A list of behavioral issues and rules is created, with a specific number of points assigned for violating each one of them. On a daily basis, the submissive partner has to confess all their shortcomings and they are duly noted in the logbook, and points are recorded. At the outset of staring such a plan, a tipping point is determined, and adhered to, regarding how many points it takes before a punishment spanking is mandatory, right then and there. Many couples find that a 20 point working level is really good for them and results in a punishment spanking every few days. When I advise people to go on the logbook-points system, I tell them that in many cases it works best to create a sort of ritual for the time when the confession and updating of the logbook occurs every day. Most people choose to do this just before bedtime, but other times may work better for some people. A very common procedure for the confession and logging of offenses is for the submissive partner to kneel naked or with their pants and underpants lowered by the dominant partner, and then discuss the violations and points being assigned for that day. Some also choose to restrain the submissive partner's wrists either in front, or behind their back, during the confession. You have to come up with something that is meaningful, at least a bit humiliating, and will work well for both of you.
  18. In your situation, going beyond hinting is acceptable, and I agree with you that she ought to be the one making the ultimate decision. But if you would like to try a full DD relationship on a trial basis for 6 months or a year (and it definitely takes that long to determine if it works well for both of you) then I see no reason for you not to ask her directly if she would try that for a while. She still has the final say in the matter, and the worst thing that could happen is she would decline and/or decide to punish you for asking for that.
  19. My thinking has always been that a maintenance spanking is exactly that, and must never be made into anything more than that. It is a regularly scheduled and fairly intense spanking that lasts a defined length of time or consists of a predetermined and consistent number of strokes, which is specifically for the purpose of keeping the spankee alert by making them very aware of what will happen if they do misbehave and need to be punished for a specific incident. Maintenance itself can and should also be used to cover all the little things that happen during the week, that in and of themselves may not warrant a spanking, but taken together they definitely do. But I would not want to add other things that take place into the maintenance spanking by increasing it. If a punishment for something else outside the realm of maintenance is necessary, and it often is, that spanking session should take place at a different time on a different day so that there is clearly no direct connection to the maintenance spanking. It is, however, perfectly fine to announce that there is going to be a separate punishment spanking and to make that statement before, during, or immediately after the usual maintenance spanking.
  20. I think that regularly scheduled maintenance spankings are a very important part of a DD relationship and ought to be mandatory in such situations. I've known quite a few DD couples over the years that I've been a disciplinarian, and had that discussion. It definitely keeps the submissive partner on their toes knowing that they will be punished as necessary for other things that happen which are not covered by their maintenance spankings. I've even had some DD couples where for their own reasons, the decision was made to send the submissive partner to me for their punishment spankings, or for their maintenance spankings.
  21. Spanking can't cure depression or anxiety. Depending upon whether one is seeking a recreational, fun sort of spanking, or a serious, punishment one, the effect on their mental state would be very different. While someone may actually enjoy a recreational spanking and therefore it could temporarily make them feel better, it's not something one would use as a course of treatment for more serious emotional issues. Getting a serious punishment spanking while one is already in a depressed state of mind could possibly make the person feel even worse, so that needs to be avoided. I've been fortunate to have several mental health professionals including psychology professors and behavioral therapists as friends over the years. Every one of them would agree that if a person is involved in consensual spanking play and interaction and they are also attending a therapist or counselor or psychologist, it is pretty much mandatory that they inform their therapist about the spanking interests, and only participate knowing they have that person's approval. I've been involved in a spanking interaction and BDSM play with a local behavioral psychologist who is a good friend for over 45 years now.......... she's about the kinkiest person I've known, but would be the first to tell someone not to play if they were not in a healthy emotional state at the time. Sometimes she spanks me, but mostly I spank her, and it's worked out really well for both of us.
  22. As a disciplinarian, I nearly always do the mouth soaping after the spanking with the women I punish. I've tried it both ways, and while growing up I experienced it both ways. No one likes to have their mouth soaped, and in some instances it makes the person want to throw up, or actually do so. I would recommend using a very gentle soap such as Ivory or Dove that does not have a lot of added things. As pointed out having to stand naked in the corner with the taste of soap in her mouth, or required to hold the bar of soap in her teeth while doing corner time, greatly increases the overall effects of the punishment session. That makes an excellent motivation for better behavior in the future.
  23. I would love to be spanked naked at a spanking party or event again with many other people present and watching. It's been a few decades since the last time that took place and I enjoyed the times I was able to have that done. I would also totally love to spank a naked, restrained woman at such an event again while many other people watched the action.
  24. Over the years that I have been active as a disciplinarian, I've had a number of women who were either married or in long-term romantic relationships that were sent to me by their partners to be punished, on a regular basis. This actually worked out really well, the male partners had their own reasons for not wanting to be the one giving the spankings. It could have been that they were not really into spanking their partner but understood her need to be spanked, or that they felt the punishment was worse if she was sent to an outsider rather than doing it at home. Some did request to have input into exactly how their partner was spanked, requiring specific implements, number of strokes, positions, restraints, and so on. Some wanted photos or video taken and then sent to them so they could see what had taken place, while others did not and trusted the women to give an accurate verbal account upon returning home. There were a few males who asked to be present at some or all of their partner's spankings, although they did not wish to participate it was clear they were taking pleasure in watching. If everyone is on board with the same thoughts about how this is to be handled, it can work out nicely. But obviously such arrangements are not for everyone.
  25. Any time you want......... Based upon what I've seen over the years, that area is definitely an interest for other sorts of play among many people in the spanking realm.
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