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Longtimespanking last won the day on April 29

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  1. My personal experience with spanking women from this board is that they have all been the first one to send a message initiating a conversation, which was followed by a considerable sequence of messages during which we learned about each other, became familiar with what each wanted and needed in a spanking relationship, and made our expectations for behavior clear and limits defined. Only then did we decide to meet in person to see if we felt safe enough to actually proceed with a spanking session. I think it's strongly influenced by the fact that female genitals are not completely external like males. While it's possible to cause injury to a female by spanking too hard in that area, it's much more likely to be an issue with spanking a male, as serious injury to both the penis and testicles are possible, even by accident. Many women find being spanked there to be intensely sexually arousing and want it for fun and pleasure, while other women who feel the need to be punished for whatever sexual misbehavior they have told their spanker about simply want the area to be punished to the point where it hurts badly. I think it's far easier to spank a female in the genital area without causing injury than it would be to do the same to a male, which many people might feel falls into the realm of torture or BDSM.
  2. Welcome to SN and as a beginner, you should be cautious before actually making the connection to get the spanking you want to experience. Please start out by reading Christy's excellent advice in the topic "Power and Control" and other topics in the Spanking Safety and Advice forum section. It's important to establish a friendship and discuss your wants and needs with any potential spanker rather than just rushing into something. That way you can determine if you are a good fit for each other. Always play safely!! Having said that, there are a number of us within convenient driving distance of Columbus who would be willing to discuss what you are seeking, and could safely allow you to have that first spanking.
  3. That certainly brings back memories of the same situation. I remember having the punishment I got at home described in the reply to the note, and I vividly recall already being home from school several times when the dreaded phone call from the principal or teacher came. Once I actually answered the phone, and it was made very clear to me that I would be in big trouble if I didn't put a parent on the phone immediately. Apparently there had been problems with others lying and saying their parents weren't home. But whenever I was there and such a call came in, it was somewhat discouraging to hear the conversation, with a parent thanking the person from school for calling, and describing to that person exactly what was going to happen in a few minutes.
  4. Over the years I've been spanking, I have had interaction with ABDL and with littles. These women were in the lifestyle 100% of the time when they were at home, and wanted it incorporated into their spankings as well. It's not something that I'm averse to helping with, if someone needed to be spanked and diapered, that's fine. I would also like to point out that there are many adults, some of which are not seniors, who need to wear diapers for health/medical issues and may find it embarrassing for their spanker or disciplinarian to know that fact, therefore they may hesitate to approach someone for a spanking. I have no issues interacting with those who fall into that category either.
  5. Being from the US, caning was not usually practiced either at school or in a family setting. But it was very common when someone got a spanking at school either from a teacher or the principal, for a note to be sent home to be signed by a parent acknowledging that the student had been punished. Many times, a phone call to a parent was made instead of sending the note. You could be 100% certain that if parents were notified either by a note or phone call, that you would be spanked a second time at home, and that one was usually as hard as or even harder than the one you got at school. There was no avoiding how the system worked. I can verify that from first hand experience, including all the way through high school.
  6. Most of my sessions last between 1 and 2 hours, with some being even longer. As others have pointed out the entire time isn't spent actually spanking, but doing other things such as preparation and discussion. However, when broken down into segments featuring spanking with different implements and with the person being spanked in different positions, I can easily exceed an hour of total spanking time, but it's 10 minutes of this and 10 minutes of that. Even with regulars that I have spanked once or twice a month, I can't recall any sessions ever being under an hour except when I first started out over 50 years ago. Certainly none have been that short any time recently.
  7. Needy brats, as well as mouthy brats, deserve good, long bare bottom spankings to remind them that such behavior is inappropriate and will always be dealt with quickly and firmly.
  8. This is a very old topic which was resurrected, and the OP hasn't been on SN since 2011. But it's still worthwhile discussing. There can be legitimate and consensual spanking between adults which takes place for a variety of reasons and in a variety of situations. My concern here would be exactly what the relationship between the two women who are described as friends actually is like. Do they live together, or just sometimes see each other to hang out, shop, and so on? Sometimes feelings develop between two people, and in this case the older one may sense a need the younger one has to be disciplined, and she chose to take action on it. The mother-daughter sort of connection given the ages involved seems like a real possibility, and perhaps other things are going on in their friendship which would enhance that sort of thought process. I would agree with the earlier comments that if no consent had been given to be punished, then the older woman is out of line for going there without first having some discussion of what she felt she needed to do, and the younger one not rejecting or declining that possibility.
  9. I like to do a warmup over underpants for a few minutes at the start, but they are definitely being pulled down for the main part of any spanking session. I totally agree that a real spanking is given on a bare bottom. Being stripped naked for added embarrassment is perfectly fine as well, and preferable for me.
  10. I'll open that to discussion by posing a question, one which may not have a clear answer. For average people, those with no professional training as a psychologist, how does one determine that any specific level of maturity has been reached in a young adult? Since it's not the same for everyone, what criteria do we use to make that determination? Also, is taking responsibility for one's behavior and actions the main judgment of maturity, or do other things also need to be taken into consideration? My personal experiences over the years cover a wide range of behaviors, which is even more confusing. I have known many young people in the last couple of years of high school who were very mature, behaved appropriately, and would have been just fine and totally successful if they had been out on their own at that age. They clearly knew how to be an adult and take responsibility, and had excellent social skills, and worked to earn money for things they wanted and needed. They proved themselves while in college and were at the top of their class, never had any problems. Unfortunately, I have also known several in grad school and working toward PhD who didn't have enough sense to come in out of the rain, seriously. I don't know how some of them were even functional in daily life, let alone as advanced college students. One girl had completed all her required course work and apprenticeships, needed only to write her dissertation which she had already researched and outlined, in order to graduate with that PhD, but instead all she was interested in doing was having fun with her younger friends, going shopping, basically anything but what she was supposed to be doing. This went on for years without her ever putting in any further effort to finish and submit that dissertation, and one would have expected by then her parents would be tired of paying the bills.
  11. It's absolutely related to the thought of inflicting pain, and the reasons why it is sought. We've been together for 35 years, and it took a while before she'd even consider it. My wife says that she doesn't understand why anyone would want a spanking because that would hurt, and that would apply regardless whether the person's behavior would warrant punishment. Trying to explain why that hurt feels good to some of us is the problem, because it's not easy to make another person who doesn't feel the same way about it realize that we have a need or desire to experience that spanking. She will occasionally allow me to give her a mild to moderate spanking, but isn't into it at all, however she realizes that I enjoy spanking women and is well aware that over the years I have had many non sexual spanking partners to interact with on a regular basis. I think she has allowed me to spank her more out of curiosity, trying to understand what it must be like for the others I spank, than actually getting anything at all out of it herself. When I am fortunate enough for her to allow me to spank her, I have to keep it playful rather than punishing, and her time frame is not as long as I would like it to be, even if I'm being relatively gentle. She will also occasionally spank me if I ask her to, and on a few occasions (most recently when I backed her truck into an immovable object, which caused significant damage) she has taken it upon herself to spank me as either punishment or retaliation, not sure which. She's capable of giving me a relatively long and hard spanking, 200 with a belt while I'm bent over the back of the couch would be a starting point, and she's the one who pulls down my pants and underpants before starting to spank me. While I totally appreciate her being willing to go there with me, it's also obvious that she's very confused about what that does for me. However, she's able to get into that mindset for a few minutes and very likely to count the strokes out loud as she gives each one. If I were to ask for more, it would be met with reluctance to go further once she thought that I'd been given enough. Of course, for me that's just a warmup.......... I would like for both of us to be on regular maintenance spankings, with others added for actual events which deserve it, but that's not likely to ever happen. However, I consider myself extremely fortunate that she will spank me on occasion, that she will allow me to spank her on (rare) occasions, and most of all that she will allow me to spank others, which I think she has been very tolerant of because she's thankful it's not her bottom being punished.
  12. I think one of the issues that is likely to come up would be the average person's thinking about BDSM. It would seem the first mental image that most people get when BDSM is mentioned is something like a torture chamber, or a kinky party where many people are wearing leather, masks, and having uninhibited sex with others who are restrained and helpless against their will. Over the years I have heard many people describe those who are in the BDSM lifestyle as ranging anywhere from sick to degenerate to perverted, and it would be difficult if not impossible to change their thinking. Of course the vast majority of us who are simply into spanking do not go to extremes and many of us are not making it a sexual playground. But there's no way to totally dissociate spanking interests among adults from the larger BDSM realm, and for that reason most who are into spanking choose to keep their interests private. It's very true that many of us in the spanking world do choose to use some things which could be found in the BDSM realm, as an enhancement or tool to use in our spanking activities. For instance, those of us who are disciplinarians and called upon to administer spankings as punishment or for motivation generally have the ability to choose how those who come to us or are sent to us for punishment end up receiving that punishment. We may decide that in order to enhance the effects/results of a spanking session with an informed and consenting person, to include such things as restraints, enemas, and butt plugs just as examples. Doing so does not turn a spanking into BDSM. I think we have to realize that spanking is going to be considered BDSM by many if not most people who don't participate in it, regardless whether there is any sexual activity during or after a spanking. It would be difficult if not impossible to convince them otherwise, even though in the BDSM realm a simple punishment spanking would be a relatively mild activity. Personally, I prefer to establish deep, long-term friendships with those who I spank, all the while keeping it non sexual and non romantic. We are people who choose to get together with others that we feel safe and comfortable with, for an activity which is not well understood by the general public.
  13. That may very well be, as it seems to have been the standard of practice for a really long time and is most likely still done today. The annual birthday spanking could easily have evolved from that very first one, and grown into a tradition.
  14. It's a complex equation, which is not the same for everyone. Many of us feel that we were born this way, with a predisposition to want/need/enjoy activities related to spanking or being spanked. And that is a valid assumption. There is also very strong cultural influence, depending upon how a person was brought up, whether or not they were spanked themselves they might have been aware of others who were. Conditioning also falls into this part of the equation, if one becomes accustomed to being spanked or to seeing other family members or friends spanked, they can be influenced in either direction and it could result in liking spanking activity or being averse to it. Another important part of the complicated situation involves pain and pleasure sensations, and the emotional and psychological reactions to those things. It's a well known fact that there are wide variations in how many nerve endings any individual has in specific areas, and the exact location of those. If person A has more of them in the area of the buttocks than person B does, then the reaction to being spanked will be different. What hurts so bad to one person hurts really good to someone else. Tests have been conducted using either electrical or mechanical (physical) stimulation of various areas, and prove that not everyone reacts/responds the same when given a similar level of stimulation. Some people have intense pleasure from the pain of being spanked. The cathartic effect of giving a spanking or receiving one is also well documented. There is also the sexual aspect for some of us, but not for everyone. I can verify that it's entirely possible for one to be spanked, or to give a good spanking to another person, without either of them wanting or needing it to become sexual in any way. Yet for others, they get sexually aroused by being spanked or by giving a spanking. Both are equally valid positions and are true whether a spanking is given over clothing, on the bare bottom, or completely naked. Whatever level of exposure, does not make it sexual, only adding to the embarrassment of being spanked. Personally, I know that I have always been this way. I am one who was spanked while growing up, both at home and at school, all the way through high school, and also knew plenty of others who were so it was quite common from a cultural approach and since that was a very different time than now, it was accepted as a valid form of punishment. I do remember that as I got older, I missed being spanked because I had come to expect it and felt it had been a good motivator to behave and I recognized the cathartic effect it had every time I was punished for behavioral issues. I am also certain after doing a lot of research into the matter, that I am one whose nerve endings in that area are capable of providing nicely pleasurable sensations from being spanked, even though it has never been sexual for me. On an emotional and psychological level, it works well for me either to be spanked, or to spank others who are consenting to such activity. I also think that being active in spanking others or in being spanked consistently reinforces one's positive feelings and thoughts about spanking in general. I enjoy the level of emotional connection that I am able to have with those I spank, or who spank me. It may be a kink, for some it may be a fetish, but there's nothing wrong with consenting people participating in it.
  15. I have no idea where the concept of birthday spankings originated, but they were quite common in my family and in our neighborhood. There was no chance of avoiding one if people knew it was your birthday. I remember playful ones given at school by friends on the playground, or at someone's birthday party, but I also remember ones given at family gatherings even up into my early 20's. I have a bunch of cousins and all of our birthdays are clustered into a couple months in the spring and a couple months later in the year, so they would get together twice a year for a celebration that covered several birthdays at once, and all of those would get spanked, often by a line of people waiting their turn. While it was intended to be fun, a couple of people took advantage of it and would gleefully swing the paddle like it was a baseball bat.
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