Jaded

I suppose a perfect example would be, always having the privacy to deal with discipline/behavior as soon as it’s needed. In reality with jobs, others living in the home, not living with you ee/er, all make this impossible at all times. Consistency is key to so many things, especially with structure and modifying behavior. In reality most in the lifestyle have to wait. Some wait days, weeks or longer. The above examples don’t even reflect the fact that life just happens. Unexpected things will come up that make consistency even harder to maintain.

That’s great news. My old profile name was , myron. I used to enjoy your posts. The post you made about Miss B traveling, then you added the map, and it just kept going lol. I still remember laughing so hard. Glad all is well with both of you.

It’s never been important to me, or a goal to make someone cry. Many don’t cry for a variety of reasons. Some have trouble letting go, some are embarrassed to cry, sometimes it just takes awhile for the spanker/spankee relationship to deepen. Then just knowing they disappointed their spanker may bring them to tears. I would never keep spanking after I felt it was enough, just to get someone to cry. Knowing when to stop is extremely important.

When I hear the term, “scene” related to spanking, it makes me think more of party type hook up spankings, not the same as 2 people in a real spanking relationship. It’s just how I think of it.

A lot of what I was going to post about low self esteem has already been said, by AG and some others. I do know that people with low self esteem will often “settle” for friends/relationships that are less than desirable and or toxic. Relationships where they are put down/ridiculed/used even emotionally abused or worse. Personally I don’t see how this er will help the ees self esteem with the way he speaks of her in front of a community. It’s sad really. People with low self esteem will defend these people who treat them like this, because they feel it’s better to put up with it, than to be alone. Any Er who really cared about an ee with low self esteem (yes I’ve mentored one before for yrs) would find ways to lift them up. Starts with treating them with respect. Letting them know they are loved and cared for. Teaching them the steps towards loving themselves. Suggest they see a counselor. Share activities they enjoy, and are good at. Compliment them, as they may not be used to this. Talking about them the way the OP did, struck a nerve, as I can see how damaging it can become.

Sorry to see you go. There will always be people you’ll clash with on a large site like this. Believe me, there’s a few on here I have known/and or interacted with, that I truly do not like (that’s putting it nicely lol). I just avoid them and don’t give them any of my time or energy thinking about them. Maybe you’ll decide to return down the road. Best wishes

I think it helps if it becomes part of your daily routine. Where you workout at the same time everyday , or before/after a certain activity that’s already in your routine daily. After awhile it just becomes a part of your daily life. If you’re new at working out , you can always start with short goals. 10 minutes for a few wks. Then 20 mins etc. I have walked/hiked daily with my dogs for decades, it’s just a set routine. Now with upper body workouts I became lazy with. I’d start them, and my elbow got messed up. Long break from workouts. Then my arm was severely injured. Just always something. This past winter I incorporated weight lifting and aerobics into my daily routine. Started super slow, so I didn’t annoy past injuries. Now I’m at 45 to 60 min a day with it, in addition to walking/hiking. If you set your mind to it, you’ve got this. If you sit there dreading it, I’ve found it’s too easy to make an excuse to skip it for the day. If it’s a set routine in your day, like showering or brushing your teeth, it just seems easier to get it done. Good luck

I lost a spankee of 5 yrs , years ago. I would suggest to stay busy, do things you enjoy and remember to take care of yourself. Self care is so important during stressful times. I would not recommend jumping into another relationship right away. Take your time! I know it’s all raw and overwhelming right now, but like the old saying goes, things happen for a reason. Sometimes 1 door closing is a blessing. You may not understand why now, but down the road you might. At least that’s how it’s been for me. A true blessing in disguise that the relationship ended. Good luck. Wish you the best.

My brother and I were discussing this awhile back. How things in the past seem so much better than now, how we were happier, and didn’t even realize how good things were. But I’m sure thinking back on good times, there were struggles/stress etc, but some time periods were just so great, it is hard to imagine reaching that level of joy again. We don’t know what joy the future holds. Events such as loved ones passing away really does make this topic hit home for me. I hope you feel happiness again soon.

Females have pretended to be males and vice versa. I agree with above, it’s attention seeking, or they are not happy with their life, so they make a make believe one. In the process they hurt people. Their was a so called “female” here many many years ago. Many of the members, including myself became friends with her. Easy to talk to/ funny / caring etc. then their was a post from a family member that she died. Long story short, she never existed. One person pretended to be her, pretended to be the family member, pretended to be someone else (I forgot the third one, it’s been so long). Members were grieving. Someone had a nice idea of us lighting a candle at the same time. Many were hurt, then hurt once again that we were all scammed into this persons false reality. It’s sad people forget that others have feelings.

I do believe we are held to a higher standard on some levels. Would people listen to / respect their boss if they broke rules that they tried to enforce at the workplace? I’m not saying a spanker must follow all of the same rules that their spankee has. For example, if I had a spankee who wanted to stop swearing, and be held accountable for it, I don’t think I need to stop swearing. Things such as texting and driving / drunk driving , safety rules etc. yes I think we need to be role models. Being a good role model is the best way to earn respect. I was an administrator for a long time. That was key.

Most who love to be spanked, still try to avoid a real punishment spanking. The main reason, is they don’t like that they have disappointed their spanker (this applies, if there is a solid relationship based on trust/respect). Most would prefer a fun type spanking or stress relief or maintenance. Punishment spankings are different. The whole tone, dynamic, intensity.

I think it’s just incredibly hard for someone who isn’t into this lifestyle to comprehend it. I was recently watching a movie with a non spanko friend , when the topic came up. My friend responded, “how can people be into that”.

2 rings will be sufficient, until I’m in my 80s and can’t hear as well. They even ring the bells in panic mode when they are coming towards me, as if I can’t see them.

When an old spanking partner swore at me. We were playing a video game and the person swore at me. Immediately I took the controller and put the person otk for a spanking. It was the most unexpected, as most were planned ahead of time.