pavium

Has anyone ever struggled to NOT use your safe-word during a discipline spanking? I trust my partner and feel safe to use safe-words, but during discipline, I want to be able to relinquish more control. Sometimes I automatically use it when intensity gets high. Sometimes later on I wish that I hadn't. I wonder if there is some self work that I can do. I genuinely want to push myself. I think I need to work on negotiation and have some protocol during the check-in conversation. Does anyone else struggled with this?