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Amethyst_Moon

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Everything posted by Amethyst_Moon

  1. Yesterday it was still happening, but it seems better today. Hopefully that's a good sign. I'll let you know if it becomes a problem again. Thank you.
  2. For the past few days, I am getting repeatedly locked out of my account. Every time I try to log on, I will get denied and locked out 5-10+ times before I am finally actually able to successfully log in. I always access the site from my phone, and my username and password are set to automatically fill in on my device. So I know that incorrectly typing those can't be the problem. I attached the email I am receiving when I get locked out.
  3. Their paddles are great. I just recently bought their Joker paddle, and I absolutely love it
  4. This is such a great description of the self-spanking experience.
  5. Very true, in general. I was specifically talking about chatting interactions on spanking sites, not looking for a spanking partner or using dating sites. My point was more about how some use the existence of fake profiles and troll accounts on said spanking sites in order to manipulate people into sending photos. Someone's character is important, though. I don't care if someone is into spanking if they're not a decent person. On the note you mentioned, I agree in general. Someone's character is more important than their spanking interest. But for some of us, a romantic partner who is also a spanko is honestly very important, even essential. While I have a nonsexual interest in spanking, it is also sexual for me. It's not a kink that sometimes turns me on, or a side dish with sex. Spanking is my sexuality. Sexually, spanking has the place sex normally would. Being with someone who isn't also a spanko would be incredibly difficult, because we would be completely incompatible sexually. And while sexual compatibility isn't the most important thing in a relationship, I can't pretend it doesn't matter enough to have a serious impact. We're all different, and it may not be an essential part of a happy and functional relationship for everyone on this site. But knowing the place spanking has in my life, it is a very important factor for me.
  6. After a lot of contemplation, I am finally open to finding a spanker in the area. As the title says, I am a 25 year old spankee, and I live in Rockbridge County, VA. I'm in the Lexington area, but I can't host. With how spread out everything is around here, I'm absolutely open to traveling an hour or so in any direction. I can easily make it to the Waynesboro and Staunton areas, and I'm pretty regularly in the Roanoke area these days as well. I am plus-sized, which I'm mentioning upfront just in case that's a potential problem for someone. I prefer anyone around my age up to mid-late 40s, I'm just not personally into having an age gap larger than 20-ish years. I am open to both females and males, and both ERs and switches (though I don't switch personally). I simply enjoy engaging in nonsexual spanking because it's an innate part of me, and it relieves stress for me. I am not seeking out a disciplinary dynamic. I am also only interested in spanking with absolutely nothing sexual involved (no sex acts, no touching/spanking of genitals, no plugs/figging, no unnecessary nudity.) I am not in any rush to get a spanker, and I would want to chat on here for at least a couple of weeks before meeting in person. It's a process, and rushing things isn't smart for anyone involved. Trust and compatibility are both essential for me. A public meeting has to take place before any potential spankings happen. If you think we'd be a decent fit, send a message and I'll be happy to chat with you.
  7. I think as someone who doesn't use spanking as discipline, but for nonsexual recreational fun and stress relief, I would definitely need some give and take with a spanker. I'm not currently in a spanking partnership, but that is a big point of compatibility for me. Because spanking, for me, would be for mutual enjoyment, we should both get a say. Of course everything would be worked out before a scene, not during. But if I am really in the mood for an otk hairbrush spanking, I should be able to express that I want that and have that incorporated as a part of the session. He can still spank me in ways he specifically wants to in the session, within limits. But if there's something I want that are within my partner's limits, I should feel free to ask for it and know it will be heard and respected. Call it "topping from the bottom", but I ultimately have as much of a right to get spanked how I want as they have to give spankings how they want. I would certainly never try to control every portion of a spanking, like I'm giving them some blueprint they have to follow to the letter. I want them to be able to top the scene. All I ask is if I'm specifically craving one or two implements, they be incorporated into the session somewhere. I ask that my desires be heard and fulfilled by my top, and I will absolutely do the same in return as their bottom. But of course, all of this is in a non-disciplinary partnership.
  8. I like the phrase "warm your bottom" for a spanking. And if belts, straps, or something similar is used, I always call it a whipping. It just sounds a little more intense to me, and I just love it for some reason.
  9. My thing was I definitely always argued back with my parents. I would not go down without a fight if I felt attacked or like they were wrong. Most of the time, it was really just personality conflict. I lived with my mom and stepdad. My personality is a lot like my dad, and my mom and dad's personalities just clash...hence the divorce. But those arguments definitely crossed the line often, and the very concept of having respect for my parents definitely went out the window in the heat of the moment. Honestly, I barely had respect for them in general. I respected every other adult and authority figure, but I didn't respect them. And I didn't even try to hide that disrespect. Most times, we would all just walk away and then pretend like it never happened. After a couple of the worst ones, I was grounded for a weekend at most. But I never even went out, so that wasn't a punishment. Staying home was what I was going to do anyways. So even in the rare time I was "punished", I still really got away with it. Do I think I deserved to be actually disciplined when I disrespected them verbally? Yes, absolutely. Of course it would have ticked me off in the moment, but I needed to respect them as my parents. Their authority meant nothing to me, and I wish that they had enforced their authority more. I think it would have saved us years of intense arguments and kept what arguments we had from escalating to such a bad point. I think we would have had a healthier relationship. Fortunately, we're in a good place now. But I definitely deserved more discipline than I received.
  10. I always use SpankingTube because, like you said, it's free and has a good assortment. Like you, my favorite to watch are more "just because"...a spanker and spankee engaging in a spanking together because they both just like it. That's my favorite because that's the type of spanking I enjoy personally, and what I would want in a spanking partner. I like watching content I can at least somewhat relate to. And while I'm not into being spanked as actual discipline myself, I do enjoy watching disciplinary spanking. Not family or school fantasies, or anything highly produced. Just a general real disciplinarian/spankee dynamic or domestic discipline between a couple. I think I like it because the spankings are a bit harsher generally, and I like harder play personally. And discipline videos often have zero erotic or sexual elements, which I much prefer. I just like to watch good real amateur spanking videos. No sexual acts or erotic tones, no plugs or figging or anything like that, no unnecessary nudity...that all kills the mood for me. I just love videos of good, old-fashioned, nonsexual spankings.
  11. As someone who struggles with depression, anxiety, and has had my share of suicidal thoughts and actions in the past, I would definitely say that right now, your mental health needs to be your priority. I'm glad you're seeing that maybe this situation brought what was already happening to the surface, and there might be more to it. Right now, try not to worry about spanking. Focus on yourself and getting yourself in a mentally healthy place. And absolutely let your doctor know as soon as possible that you are struggling mentally, even while on your medication. They can evaluate and make adjustments as needed, which might really help. Reach out and get whatever help is necessary to get you through this. Don't even worry about revisiting spanking until you're in a better place mentally. Wishing you all the best, my thoughts are definitely with you.
  12. I'm absolutely open to some cyber role play to mix it up. I'm a self-spanker, so it might be nice to at least interact at this capacity with a spanker. Feel free to send a message if you want to talk.
  13. I have not talked to any family or friends about spanking being a part of my life, and that would not change if it were a part of a relationship. Spanking, even when nonsexual, is a very personal and intimate thing for me. Talking to them about my spanking life would be equivalent to them talking to me about their sex lives, which they don't do. I'm perfectly happy with it being that way. I don't need to know about the intimate parts of their lives and relationships, and they don't need to know about mine.
  14. I'm so sorry that your entrance into spanking was rooted in so much pain. I hope that now it has taken on a more positive place in your life.
  15. We all have to vent sometimes. In my own way, I understand. I'm only 25, but I have yet to even have a real relationship, let alone any relationship or partnership that involves spanking. And while my needs as a spankee are 99% fulfilled with self-spanking...there's still that 1% that desires so deeply to share this with another person. Loneliness is difficult, but I hope that you are able to fill that void very soon, and that you will be able to share in spanking and life with someone that compliments you in every important way.
  16. As an active self-spanker myself, I still clearly remember my first ever self-spanking...what I used, what was going through my mind, how I felt physically and emotionally. And I have often wondered what it was like for others the first time the decided to spank themselves. If you feel comfortable sharing any aspects of your experience, please share. I will obviously share mine below: -------------------------------- I was 18, and I was "on my own" for the first time. This proclivity towards spanking had been a part of me for as long as I could remember. While I grew up in the age where the internet was getting bigger, it was one of the few things my parents were really strict about. As a result,I never even searched spanking on the internet until then...I didn't want to risk them finding out. Once I looked it up, I realized I wasn't alone. But to be honest, I still hated this part of myself. I always did. I didn't want to be a spanko. But I couldn't help but to look at sites like this and spankingtube once I knew they existed, because they showed the reality of a deep personal part of myself that, until then, I thought could only live in my mind. These sites are where I learned self-spanking existed. I don't even know if it would have occurred to me to spank myself if I hadn't found out others did that. My fantasy and interest had always exclusively been with being spanked. I hoped that the reality of being spanked would destroy the fantasy. I basically wanted to spank the spanko out of me. I took a thick wood cutting board and a metal spatula and just started doing it. It hurt so much more than I had ever imagined...but still, I loved it. I loved the feeling, the rush, the butterflies of anticipation, the sound, even the pain. The more I spanked, the more I loved it. I kept going harder, and honestly way more severe than I should have for a first session. I kept making it harsher, hoping to eventually hate it. My cheeks were both solid bruises before I finally gave up. I ended that session and knew that this was a part of me, and I had to accept that. But I also felt so amazing having this deep, innate part of me fulfilled for the first time ever. The reality outdid the fantasy in every way for me. That first session confirmed that this truly is a part of me, and I have enjoyed self-spanking ever since. I also now fully accept the spanko in me and even love it.
  17. After my mom got remarried, I became a middle child with my step-siblings. But they only stated with us every other weekend. My older sister was the only sibling I lived with full time, so most of the time, in the house, I was the youngest. Spanking was not a form of discipline in our house at all. My parents always used grounding to punish us. None of us were ever punished in any other way. I was generally a good kid, as were my siblings. Not one of us ever got in trouble at school, or did anything really serious. I did probably get in trouble a little more than they did, though...mostly because I just wasn't one to bite my tongue if I disagreed with my parents. If I felt they were being unfair, or that they were getting mad with me without what I felt to be real justification, I just always had to say something. I was stubborn about trying to make them see it my way, I didn't know when to just back down and let it go. But even those situations were few and far between. I was still only grounded on very rare occasions, maybe 3 or 4 times total from ages 5-18. That was the only punishment any of us ever got, it was the same no matter the birth order. But it obviously worked for us, considering none of us ever got in any real trouble.
  18. The cane is definitely the most difficult implement to use for self-spanking, in my experience. I have a rattan cane a a drlrin 3-cane bundle. The Delton bundle is easy because it's heavier and doedn't take much to really hurt. My rattan cane can be a bit tricky, and I don't use it often because it just isn't as easy to use as my paddles, brushes, or straps. I usually bend over my couch armrest with a pillow to really stretch my bottom for the cane, to make it a bit more effective. I go from the side and use a good wrist flick to cane myself. I manage to get some decent stripes. And I found the cane, while maybe not the most painful implement in the moment, leaves a real lingering pain I feel for a good while after, even more than most paddlings. I think the cane is one of those rare implements that, logistically, cannot be used as effectively on oneself because you can't do an arm swing like an ER can, or like us self-spankers can do with paddles and straps. But it can be used effectively enough with practice.
  19. My favorite to use is my long-handled wooden bath brush. The long handle makes it much easier to reach and access all areas of the bottom for a more thorough spanking. It can be used more lightly while still being rather effective, but can also be used more severely if needed. I have a pretty good collection of implements, but I almost never have a session without the bath brush being used.
  20. I definitely spent a lot of time alone as a child. I wasn't very connected with my mom after she remarried when I was pretty young, and my sister and I didn't become close until we were both adults. I also didn't really have friends until I was closer to my teens. I was definitely lonely much of the time. My interest in spanking was a part of me from my earliest memories. But I don't think this part of me came to be out of loneliness, because my interest pre-dates those times and events. I believe it's an innate part of who I am, and would have been regardless of outside forces. But I did have a strong, vivid imagination growing up, and I spent a fair amount of time dwelling on this topic because it was already such a strong and innate interest of mine. I certainly don't think my interest was caused by loneliness, but dwelling on it in my frequent alone time probably kept it more at the forefront than it may have otherwise been during that time. But ultimately, even if I hadn't had as much time to mentally engage with my interest back then, I believe I would have still become the spanko I am now.
  21. I don't think true vanillas can be converted, just like I don't think true spankos can be converted. I agree with boy_otk that some might be more open to experimenting. Some might even enjoy it to a degree, but if they aren't a spanko, they still won't have that same deep connection with it as we do. If someone is vanilla, they can't change that any more than we can change that we're spankos. Not to say I don't think those relationships can work. I think they can. It is just going to take understanding and compromise on both sides to find a way where both can be fulfilled while maintaining acceptance and respect for the others' identity. I don't think either should feel forced or coerced into taking on a role or identity that isn't who they are, but both should be willing to figure out ways that the other can have their needs met in some way. But I think with these things, we are who we are. A vanilla might be willing to engage, and might even like it. But it will always be just a recreational activity. It will never be a part of who they are. I don't think a true hardwired vanilla or spanko can be converted.
  22. I actually ended up buying this after seeing this topic, as I had been looking for a spanking brush. I love the traditional feel that comes with a hairbrush spanking. It just arrived today, and a couple of test swats let me know this was a good spanking brush. It's more lightweight, but very solid and stingy. I have a feeling this will become a favorite.
  23. I think how a spanking can relieve stress is based on the individual. For some, like me, it's about the headspace of being fully immersed physically, mentally, and emotionally in the experience. It allows me to let go of everything else for awhile. For some, the physical pain itself helps relieve stress, especially for a non-disciplinary spankee like me who actually enjoys the pain of a spanking (though a good build up, as Spanknutt described, is a good way to experience the pain in a way that is less harsh and easier on the body and mind). If it's an activity you find fun, the enjoyment itself can relieve stress. For some, it is about building to the endorphin release. For some, the relief comes more from the mindset and feeling of submission, and the letting go of control which can be a part of being spanked. Some may need a stress relief spanking to be hard. Others may need it to be a light spanking in order to be effective. There isn't one specific "right" way to do stress relief spankings. It is definitely based on the individual spankee, because stress relief spankings will look different for different people.
  24. My braided flogger. I know we often hear "flogger" and think of some light thuddy massaging BDSM. But my braided tailed flogger delivers a serious whipping that has a really intense fiery sting. In terms of pure sting, it outdoes all of my other implements.
  25. For me, it does hurt more to be spanked on a wet bottom. It adds some extra sting and takes things up a notch.
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