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About dkh

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  1. Somewhere recently I read that the secret of lasting couples was not that they never disagreed, but that they were able to "rupture and repair" their relationships successfully. I haven't been in a DD relationship, but part of the appeal I imagine is, there's a clear route to forgiveness and reconciliation. Another way to look at "testing the limits to know whether they'll follow through with a spanking" is testing the limits to reassure yourself that you *won't* get days of passive aggression, contempt, or abandonment for doing something your partner doesn't like. I can imagine myself deliber
  2. A leather paddle is kind of a contradiction to me. For something non-rigid on the paddle-strap continuum that you can use for otk, I'd recommend smooth rubber over leather. I just found this article about the sensations different paddle materials create, https://www.lovense.com/bdsm-blog/bdsm-paddle. I got my favorite rubber paddle at a kinky flea market, so I don't know where it was purchased. It delivers a breath-taking sting, especially on wet skin.
  3. Forgive me if this seems OT, but have you tried meditation? I try to sit for 45 min/day, and it helps. also controlled breathing techniques to relieve anxiety.
  4. I like the idea of real disciplinary spankings, but I don't really like to disobey, so this motif of preventative discipline to head off disobedience appeals to me.
  5. I've been enjoying this 14-inch bamboo spoon for the last few weeks. I found it for $3 on the summer seasonal goods close-out rack at Safeway. It's longer and heavier (a little over 3 ounces) than the common home-kitchen 12" wooden spoon. Most of my tools are too long or too short for optimum self-use. This spoon is just right. I'm thinking of finishing it with either tung oil or polyurothane.
  6. Having spent a good deal of time in Manhattan in the '70's, I can easily imagine how un-surprised the natives were.
  7. A rubber strap, this or something close to it. Smooth rubber "drags" across the butt after it strikes, feeling like it's pulling the skin off.
  8. Do share your findings! I can't imagine why Elsevier or one of their competitors doesn't already publish a journal in this field. ;-)
  9. A high school science teacher explains the special properties of lexan on a bare butt, http://lashlerouxspankingprimer.blogspot.com/2009/06/lexan-vs-wood-spanking-hypothesis.html
  10. There's an older thread on the External links subforum called "Wood Choice" that has some interesting discussion: https://www.spankingneeds.com/board/index.php?/topic/19632-wood-choice/
  11. https://gratefulpain.co.uk/wooden-spanking-paddles-materials/ The first one I've read where they describe how they harvest and process the timber. They favor ash, maple and birch over oak as a paddle material.
  12. I prefer classical music, something that's not heavily beat-driven, so the ER, rather than the background music, controls the pace of spanks. I'm not usually an opera fan, but it can be a good sound curtain.
  13. Assume the Position: Exploring Discipline Relationships (Travis, Georgia State University, 2013) is the only scholarly research about DD specifically that I've found online.
  14. 1) Before the spanking - if EE is upset or defiant, this provides a context for settling down and getting into the right headspace. I've had mine with pants down far enough to bare my butt. 10-15 minutes standing with nothing to distract me from the feeling of fresh air down there certainly concentrates the mind on how vulnerable I am. Also emphasizes that the spanking will happen on the ER's schedule. The longer the EE grumbles or whines, the longer they have to wait. 2) During a break in the spanking - The ER's arm gets a rest. And the EE's bare butt will a) cool off a little and b) sta
  15. I think of it as a short, informal spanking that may be delivered in fun, or may be a warning that the EE is pushing a boundary.
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